I was recently bestowed with the duty, nay, the honor of hosting our annual fantasy football auction draft at my home. For this momentous occasion I would spare no expense. I dashed out to the store and purchased a beautiful new deep fryer for our many draft day frying needs.

It was a splendid purchase for a glorious day. We fried fish, mozzarella sticks, mini wieners covered in puff pastry, mushrooms, pizza rolls, pickles (spears not the inferior pickle chips), cheese curds, mac n cheese bites; you name it, we fried it!

I was so elated with my brilliant fryer acquisition that I was blind to the future deep fryer backlash rapidly approaching. First, the unavoidable stomach ache from pounds of random fried foods and the numerous visits to my porcelain throne the next day; yes, this fryer post-effect was to be expected and accepted.

But then the greasy fryer oil stench encasing my garage for days to come, this I did not anticipate. Next, there’s the matter of fryer oil disposal. Did you know skunks like heavily used fryer oil? Well they do! Note to the reader: Do not dispose of used fryer oil on the brush pile in your fire pit unless you want a pack of crazed skunks digging holes in your yard.

The point is, we can’t get too enamored with our purchases in real life or in fantasy football. We must consider the opportunity cost of what we’re giving up, what else we might be able to acquire and the possible repercussions of these acquisitions. What might seem like a great purchase today could leave us with  a yard full of skunk holes and an unhappy girlfriend tomorrow. This must be a burden we’re willing to bear as we tread the path to fantasy football glory!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Learn more about our 2020 Fantasy Football Subscriptions!

The best blend of accurate and bold weekly projections for QB/RB/WR/TE + PK + Defensive Teams and IDP as well as a kick-ass DFS lineup optimizer and projections for DraftKings, FanDuel, and Yahoo!.

I don't have enough spam, give me the Razzball email newsletter!