I heard the other day that beer is on the decline in the United States. Over the past 5 years beer sales are down around 2.4% and a whopping 1.5% over the last year alone. More and more Americans are turning to spiked seltzer, canned wine and hard liquor these days. And I understand it. When my RazzBowl dreams were dashed on a dropped Will Fuller touchdown during week 13 Sunday Night Football, beer wasn’t strong enough to kill the pain. I was forced to turn to hard liquor—and hard drugs—to find momentary contentment.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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While B_Don continues his trek across Europe, Donkey Teeth is joined by another special RazzBowl guest: Heath Cummings of CBS Sports. Heath elaborates on his self proclaimed “terrible draft strategy”, his improbable RazzBowl title run and his dream of taking the fabled RazzBowl Trophy out to a nice candlelight dinner at his favorite pub. The guys also discuss the future of several players from Heath’s team including Lamar Jackson, Rashaad Penny, Zach Ertz, Dallas Goedert and Tevin Coleman.

Then in the pickups segment, Cummings tears apart Donkey’s top 5 pickups for week 14. These recommendations include Darwin Thompson, Raheem Mostert, Patrick Laird, Jordan Wilkins and Anthony Miller. Heath and DT also chat about a few deep league options like Myles Gaskin, Zay Jones, Russell Gage, Jakobi Meyers and Pharoh Cooper before Donkey heads off to have his teeth taken care of at the dentist.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The first round of the first ever RazzBowl Playoffs is now in the books and the RotoViz crew isn’t playing around. Mike Beers and his three headed monster backfield of Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook and Derrick Henry are striking fear into the butts of the RazzBowl field as they carry a first place lead into the second round of the playoffs. If you’re looking for something to put into your ears, The Beers Man made a special guest appearance on the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast this past week. Beers’ RotoViz compadre Hasan Rahim is hanging out in second place, with a squad also led by McCaffrey along with Ronald Jones and a slew of wide receivers including Mike Evans, D.J. Moore and Calvin Ridley.

To recap the very simple, not at all confusing, RazzBowl Playoff format: 90 out of our 180 team field (140 industry titans & 40 fans) advanced into the playoffs after week 9. The top 3 teams from each of our 15 leagues were placed into the RazzBowl Championship Bracket and the next 3 teams in each league were placed into the RazzBowl Wildcard Bracket. The scores for round one of the playoffs were tabulated by taking the teams’ scoring average from weeks 1-9 plus their cumulative scores from weeks 10, 11 and 12. The top 15 teams from the 45 team championship bracket will now continue on to round two of the playoffs in the championship bracket while the next 30 teams from the round one championship bracket will be funneled into the round two wildcard bracket.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While B_Don is off gallivanting in Europe, Donkey is joined by special guest and current RazzBowl leader, Mike Beers of RotoViz. Beers elaborates on his best ball and RazzBowl draft strategy as well as his in season RazzBowl management. Then the guys discuss several of Mike’s RazzBowl players and what the future might hold for each: Derrick Henry, Kyler Murray, Baker Mayfield, George Kittle and Keke Coutee.

Later in the waiver wire segment (24:55), Beers tears into Donkey Teeth’s Top 5 waiver adds heading into week 13. Players in consideration for a pickup this week include Rashaad Penny, A.J. Brown, Bo Scarbrough, Benny Snell and Randall Cobb. Tune in now and discover what RazzBowl dreams are made of!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two weeks into the first round of the inaugural RazzBowl Playoffs and its been all RotoViz. With only one week remaining in round one, RotoViz’s Hasan Rahim and Mike Beers hold the the top two spots in the RazzBowl Championship Bracket. These two competitors remind me a lot of Myles Garrett and Antonio Brown, farting in their competitor’s faces and then bashing them over the head with their own helmets. Wait, where am I? What’s that smell? Oh, it’s just those RotoViz boys doing their thing. The RazzBowl Committee is now keeping a close eye on the actions of RotoViz as a whole, they’re on double secret probation! 

I’m sure you’re also wondering about Team Donkey Teeth because you spend most of your spare time thinking about my fantasy teams, right? Thanks for caring! We’re hanging in there — 16th place in the RazzBowl Wildcard Bracket — poised to advance on to round two in the Wildcard Bracket or maybe even make the leap to the Championship Bracket with a big week 12 performance. Anyway, since there’s no more pickups, let’s take a look back at some of the best bargains who were taken in the top 100 on RazzBowl Draft Day across all 15 of our leagues. Psych! First I need to mention the RazzBowl 2020 signup, which is now live! Alright, now lets look at those draft bargains . . . 

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Sign up for the 2020 RazzBowl now!

The highly anticipated inaugural RazzBowl playoffs are finally upon us! That’s right, we talkin’ bout playoffs! Our leader heading into the playoffs is Mike Beers of Rotoviz who jumped into the top spot with a powerful run to finish the regular season, lead by a three-headed monster of Christian McCaffrey, Dalvin Cook and Derrick Henry. 

Beers is joined by another 89 members from our field of 180 industry participants—with a few lucky fans sprinkled in—advancing on into the playoffs. The top 3 teams from each league have advanced into the RazzBowl Championship Bracket (45 teams) while the 4-6 ranked teams in each league have advanced into the RazzBowl Wildcard Bracket (45 teams). The first round of the playoffs will last three weeks with the top 15 teams from the Championship Bracket moving on, plus the top 3 teams from the Wildcard Bracket jumping up into the Championship Bracket for round 2. If you’re crazy enough to get into these weeds, the full RazzBowl Playoff rules can be viewed here by clicking the “Prizes” link on the left side of the screen.  

The best ball portion of the competition is complete and now our competitors must choose their lineups manually moving forward. This is where we separate the men from the donkeys. The FAAB portion of the contest has also ended and rosters are now etched in stone thru the end of the playoffs in week 16. Since there were no new pickups this week, let’s take look at how some of the top RazzBowl adds from earlier in the season have fared:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

As a much younger donkey I tried out for the highschool basketball team. I was galloping all over the court at tryouts, nobody could defend me. Really thought I had a spot locked up on the team but when the dreaded cut day came around, they gave me the axe. I guess donkey kicking defenders is “frowned upon.” Pssssh. 

Fast forward to present day. RazzBowl cuts are only days away and I’m having flashbacks to basketball tryouts. Half our impressive field of 180 industry competitors, with a handful of fans mixed in, will be eliminated come Monday evening. The night terrors are unbearable!

One person who doesn’t have to worry about the first RazzBowl cut is Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl. Fitzmaurice has now held the lead for three consecutive weeks and has been top 3 in the overall standings for the entire season except for one week when he fell down to 6th place. Pat’s performance to this point has been so dominant that the RazzBowl Committee is considering rebranding the contest as the FitzBowl next year. But the RazzBowl Committee is very corrupt so the CloroxBleachBowl is the front runner.

What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entire way season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Here were the top FAAB buys in the final week of RazzBowl FAAB bidding:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I had a vivid dream last night. It was so real. I was in bed, buck naked, with my supermodel girlfriend on one side and the RazzBowl trophy nestled on my other side. When I awoke, only one of the objects of my affection was actually there: the RazzBowl trophy. That’s right, I sleep naked with the RazzBowl trophy every night! And my supermodel girlfriend is out of town for the weekend doing supermodel stuff.

But there’s another man with his eyes and heart set on the now moist RazzBowl trophy: Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl. Our top dog, Fitzmaurice, has extended his lead out to a commanding 38 points and has now held the lead back to back weeks and, maybe even more impressively, his squad has been top 3 in the overall standings for the entire season except for one week when he fell down to 6th place. Can he close the deal and lay with the fabled RazzBowl trophy? Only time will tell.

What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entire way season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Here were the top buys from the penultimate RazzBowl FAAB run (FAAB ends after next week’s run), along with some donkey thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s with great sadness that I write this weekly RazzBowl update. Team Donkey Teeth has just lost one of it’s best less than 48 hours ago. Fortunately, although my Mahomey is down, it seems he may not be out for the count. My emergency Mahomes prayer hexagon assembled yesterday and has succeeded in saving the top QB’s season, at least for now. The joy of football Sunday’s won’t be quite the same for the next couple weeks, but rest assured my team will persevere. I’ll be taking the rest of the guys apple picking today to lift their spirits and next week I’ve arranged for a nude body painting class—team morale will soon be at all-time highs. Things are pointing up, if you know what I mean.

Shifting our attention over to the RazzBowl overall standings, Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl has reclaimed the top spot in the standings once again with a 13 point lead over Adam Ronis of Fulltime Fantasy and Sirius XM. Michael Stepney of The Fantasy Authority hangs onto 3rd place as our top 3 have separated themselves from the pack with a 37 point drop off to Danny Kelly of The Ringer in 4th place. With only 3 weeks remaining until the bottom half of every league is eliminated and the playoffs commence; it’s time to buckle down!

What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entire way season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Here were the top buys from the FAAB-poor RazzBowlers this week, along with some donkey thoughts:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Driving down a dark neighborhood street last night, I came across an opossum chilling in the middle of the road. This little marsupial, with a penchant for playing dead, got me thinking about one of my RazzBowl players who I sure thought was dead until week 5 happened: Will Fuller. The Varmint scored 3 touchdowns in week 5 as he powered Team Donkey Teeth all the way up from 49th to 18th place. 

Enough about me. Unless you want to hear more? No? Dang.

Michael Stepney of The Fantasy Authority has reclaimed the top RazzBowl spot once again over Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl with Adam Ronis of Full Time Fantasy rounding out the top three, all separated by less than 15 points. But look out fellas, Donkey Teeth—like Will Fuller—was only playing dead. RazzBowl on! 

What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entireway season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Most RazzBowlers are now more broke than Donkey Teeth after the sugar beet farmers market comes to town, but here’s a few players our competitors splurged for this week:

Please, blog, may I have some more?