Here we are faithful readers, the fantasy championship round. If you are here looking for a replacement or to block for your opponent because you are playing in the game of games this upcoming week: Congratulations! You have just one step left before you can grab the idol and run like mad from the falling temple. If you have been reading all season, I wanted to take a second to thank you all for making my first season as a fantasy analyst and writer with Razzball a (I think?) success. Special thank you’s to my faithful weekly commenters William Hung, Water Boy, Mike, OldMilwaukeePounders, Miles Proudfoot, JC, Packers2018, toolshed, Ralph, Russowl, Achilles, William Trill Cauley-Stein, and I Am Not A Smart Man. Helping you and all our readers has been a privilege and the absolute joy of my year. Before I hop in Jock Lindsey’s UBF-2 seaplane and ride off into the off season, here are a few recommendations for players you might find worth adding for the final week.

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Congratulations! If you are reading this, you have either reached the playoffs or are married to me and are forced to read this article every single week even though you do not even watch football. Let us focus on you the fantasy football playoff contender and not my wife, the patient and selfless backbone of this humble fantasy analyst. So, you’ve made it and chances are your roster is already nicely filled out and ready to compete. If not though, I will still be here for the next three weeks helping you fill-in holes or blocking your league mates from doing the same. Even Rocky needed Mick after he won the title, James Bond needed Q, and Crash Davis needed Annie Savoy who seriously, let us talk for a second: Annie Savoy? Chef’s Kiss! Anyways, congrats again on making it to the playoffs. Now let’s go!

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It is the final week of the regular season. Did your letter from Hogwarts arrive? Did a painted blue key mysteriously appear on your coffee table? I am trying to ask if you’ve made the playoffs. Well, I hope so and I hope this weekly column has assisted you along the way. With the playoffs just a week away, it is time to make secure decisions for your team. Handcuff those running backs and look past a single week outlook. The playoff semifinals and finals matchups should carry a great deal of weight with your waiver decisions, especially if you’ve already secured a bye.

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You’ve just brewed your Tuesday morning honey cappuccino and sat down at the computer to peruse your favorite article of the week: Wright On Waivers. The Joey Wright always knows the exact words needed to brighten your Tuesday mornings, he’s the golden boy. But wait! Donkey On Waivers?! What is this bastardization of fantasy football content! The lack of alliteration in the title is concerning, to say the least. I know this is traumatic. Let me apologize in advance, there’s no possible way for me to adequately fill The Joey’s Shaq-like shoes. But The Joey is nursing a house full of sick women and children—don’t worry, he’s assured me it’s not COVID—so in comes the B-team (Donkey Teeth). If you’re lucky The Joey may make a guest appearance later in the week covering the Buy/Sell column. 

The Joey’s goal was to keep this simple with the waiver wire recommendations in terms of layout. He’s demanded that I include player, team, roster percentage, free-agent acquisition budget (FAAB) dollar amount (in percentage) I would use on the player, and of course a little background on why the player is suggested. The players will be listed by position in order of priority. The threshold The Joey tells me to work with is generally less than 50% rostered in leagues. Anyway, here’s some players to consider adding for fantasy football week 13:

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Sometimes you must know when to say goodbye. Sometimes we hold on for too long to something or someone who needs to go. Being in our lives gives us a sense of hope however false it may be. Whether you are bidding adieu to a reunited love on a tarmac, releasing your best friend back into the wild where they belong, or cutting Curtis Samuel about eight weeks later than most other fantasy managers: sometimes it is best to set them free. The playoffs are not far off and now is the time to start shaping those rosters for the tough journey ahead.

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One of my favorite movie theater experiences came during my freshman year in college at my local art house cinema. I had never seen a David Lynch film before but heard good things about him. All I really knew is he made Twin Peaks, a tv show with the most nightmare inducing theme song. In hindsight, maybe Mulholland Dr. was not the best foray into his catalog. While it is now one of my favorite films, I left the theater confused and doubting my own intelligence. I went back the next night and it started to become clearer. It was the first movie where the audience stayed around after and discussed “what it all meant.” Sometimes NFL weeks can feel a mess and make absolutely no sense. They hit you like a ton of bricks and require more than the usual analysis. This past week felt like one of those weeks, but through the madness and riddles, a few bright lights shone through all the way to the waiver wire.

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We’ve officially passed the halfway point of the fantasy football season. Some of us are riding high with 6-2 records basking in dreams and visions of fantasy championships on the horizon. The rest of us have located our local friendly time traveling scientist to convert our 2018 Nissan Rogue into a time machine. I honestly need an oil change as I have trouble getting it above 88 miles per hour. So, I guess I can’t go back and should instead focus on digging myself out of this hole without having the kiss my mother or have her see me in my undies. I’m talking of course of the waiver wire and where we’re going, you’ll need the waiver wire.

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So, they think they found the Zodiac Killer huh? I had this case solved in 2007 after seven marathon viewings of David Fincher’s Zodiac. The eighteen-hour film festival of sorts guided me to another cinematic treasure and the true greatest San Francisco based film of all-time, Homeward Bound II: Lost In San Francisco. Every clue to every cipher can be found there. All those exhausted detectives. All those man hours. One viewing of HB: Dos with Sassy, Chance, and Shadow would’ve solved all your problems. You know what else is exhausting? Trying to find the right person on your waiver wire. Lucky for you, I patterned my work ethic this week after Robert Downey Jr. and Jake Gyllenhaal in Zodiac (Seriously the best San Francisco based film or maybe it is Vertigo. Yeah, it’s Vertigo), pounded the coffee to find some of this week’s best options on the waiver wire.

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October is upon us and thus the gates of all things spooky have opened. Although no living room werewolf transformation or demon spawned baby can match the terrors on the field this past week. No, I am not talking of the awkward non-hug between Tom Brady and Bill Belichick at the end of Sunday night’s dark and stormy game. I am speaking of the gruesome injuries, quarterback play which may require an old priest and a new priest to fix, and once thought done players seemingly rising from the dead. Things are getting downright strange in the fantasy football neighborhood, so who we gonna call? Waiver Wire!

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No movie references or sarcasm this week. The fantasy football community lost someone truly beloved in Mike “Tags” Tagliere this week. As I sat on my bed and scrolled through my timeline on Saturday, I saw so many people thanking him for assisting them with their fantasy teams and how much he’ll be missed on podcasts. I also saw the messages from people in the fantasy sports industry who Tags helped get their start or was there to be a sounding board when needed. I never had the chance to meet him in person but I’ve heard from many people who knew and loved him well. The same people remembering and mourning are the ones who have encouraged, guided, and helped me. Tags never got to hear how much he was appreciated to the degree of what people are saying now. So let me encourage you, whatever you do in life, whether it be a stay-at-home dad, high school principal, or fantasy analyst: tell the people who have helped and encouraged you how much you love them and how much their help has meant to you. None of us know how long we have on this earth, but what we do know is how to say thank you. So while it might be too late, thank you Mike Tagliere for being a beacon in this industry and helping so many people. Thank you for your positivity which has rubbed off on so many of your listeners, colleagues, and fellow analysts. Your legacy is an everlasting ripple in this industry and you will be missed.

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Welcome to the very first Wright On Waivers. I will be taking over this column for the season and look forward to helping you navigate your way around the waiver wire with player suggestions to help both long and short-term needs. Your previous guide was indeed a great sherpa and wanted me to send along his best. If you have read any of my previous articles, you are aware I typically launch into these drawn-out movie tirades full of terrible analogies. I can assure you I will be focusing solely on your fantasy team this year and avoiding the proverbial opening twenty-one minutes and fifteen seconds of my favorite childhood film, Jurassic Park. Are those first twenty-one minutes important to the story? Yes. Yes, they are, but we really just want to see some dinosaurs. So, let us get to the dinosaurs.

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So you’ve made it into the second round of your fantasy league playoffs… or you’re a spiteful little thing and want to know what kind of guys you can block your league mates from getting.  The bar for getting added to a playoff team is pretty high, so I am being choosy with who get listed, but it’s possible you have some holes to fill. 

I group the adds by position and then within the position, rank them in order of preference. With the playoffs upon us, I have removed percentages of the FAAB. If you need any of these guys to start for your team, then spend what you need to spend. The sherpa will only advise players who are rostered in less than 50% of ESPN leagues.

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