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To totally honest with you folks, I really didn’t want to watch this game. From time-to-time, this happens. Mainly it’s whenever the Buccaneers, Jaguars, Washington’s Football Team… and the Raiders are involved. And the latter? Well, I don’t really have a choice in the matter. You see, if you hadn’t heard, I’m quite the Chargers fan, and I’m already forced to watch the Raiders twice a year, as if that wasn’t suffering enough. Why would I expose myself to more of this so-called “suffering”? There’s already enough suffering in the world. But I sh*t you not, the Raiders were part of the best Thursday Night Football game this year… And to think, I thought the only highlight last night was going to be seeing Andy Reid waddle around in his full red walrus gear. I just want to say this before we get to the recap… for the entire week, if you live in the immediate Oakland and Alameda County area, my advice to you is to stay indoors and lock your doors. In celebration, Raiders fans will be tipping over cars, burning anything that’s flammable, climbing on anything more than 10 feet high… pretty much duplicating a riot-like atmosphere. I mean, yeah, you’re right, they were going to do that even if they lost, or, you know, here and there during the boring parts of the offseason, or, probably whenever they felt like it, but this is their first win of the year… THIS HAS MEANING!

 

Chiefs – 20, Raiders – 24

Derek Carr – 18/35, 174 YDS, 1 TD and 3 CAR, 2 YDS. If Derek Carr doesn’t become a legitimate NFL quarterback, no biggie. He’ll make a wonderful juggalo. I mean seriously… where can I get this eyeliner he’s wearing?

Latavius Murray – 4 CAR, 112 YDS, 2 TD. Last time I saw a Raider run like that, he was carrying a television… Left the game from concussion-like symptoms and did not return due to a helmet-to-helmet hit. It’s worth keeping an eye on, seeing as how he’s basically the only hope the Raiders have to ever establish a run game again.

Marcel Reese – 8 CAR, 37 YDS and 1 REC, 8 YDS. I think Reece is getting this many carries because McFadden and Drew aren’t very good. JUST A WILD GUESS.

Maurice Jones-Drew – 3 CAR, -1 YDS. Jones-Drew is still alive? Pretty sure MJD is next on the list to get buried.

Alex Smith – 20/36, 234 YDS, 2 TD and 2 CAR, 5 YDS. Alex Smith once finished first in a Chad Pennington look-a-like contest.

Jamaal Charles – 19 CAR, 80 YDS and 4 REC, 42 YDS, 1 TD. I watched last night’s game  to chew bubblegum and watch Jamaal Charles kick ass… and, just to be clear, I was all out of bubble gum…

Penalty, premature ejaculation, Raiders.

 

  1. DavidCarr says:
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    Morning Jay, for playoff run, in 1 pt ppr – if u had deep WRs, would u trade away Julio to get McCoy? Thx!!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @DavidCarr: Morning! I would do that trade, yes.

  2. Mikey says:
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    Trade deadline is tonight.

    Top of the standard league and need a second receiver to compliment the core of Jordy and Matthews.

    Give Ellington to get Maclin? Would ride a RB2 carousel of Miller, Crowell, Joique and Vereen.
    Concerned about lack of deep ball from Sanchez.

    Ellington and Keenan might buy me Dez with a push.

    Appreciate the imput!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mikey: I’m fine with Maclin, I think he’ll still get his. I think Allen may surprise you from this point on. (Hopefully.)

  3. Zandy says:
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    in 0.5 ppr with 2 pts @ 100 rush/rec and 4pts @150 rush/rec
    I assume you’re on board with sending CJ & Wallace for Alshon?
    RBs: Foster Jennings Lamar CJ Mason Sims
    WRs: AndreJ Torrey Wallace

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zandy: Yeah, I’m fine with that. Not a huge Wallace guy, and I think you need the WR more than the RB.

  4. malamoney

    malamoney says:
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    A case of MGD is more valuable than a seasons worth of MJD. Heck, make that a 6-pack.

    The announcer said last night that the last Raider he saw run like Latavius was Bo Jackson. Glad my opponent started McFadden…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @malamoney: It’s still close though, so I’m not sure if that’s worse for MGD or MJD. More like Bo Jackson from Tecmo.

    • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
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      @malamoney: how deep of a league is it that somebody started walk DMC? yikes. i could see maybe in crazy bye week problems but that wouldn’t be the case this week.

  5. Help says:
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    keeper league. M. bryant ($5) /d. thomas ($50)/ A foster ($60) for lesean mccoy/ antonio brown ($30)/ greg olson

    what side of that would you want to be on

    i need to win this week to get into the playoffs. greg olsen/antonio brown do nothing for me on bye, but i’m taking a risk with foster not playing.

    i might add jonas gray/latavius murray/doug martin FOR eddie lacy to the deal.

    so it’d be: martavis/foster/lacy/demeriuis FOR antonio brown, lesean mccoy, greg olsen, jonas, latavius, doug.

    jonas and latavius murray are both $1 to keep. doug martin is trash

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Help: The Brown side, even with the bye.

  6. bringtheheat$20 says:
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    1
    WR.D.jackson
    WR.G.tate
    Flex.T.mason
    2
    WR.D.jackson
    WR.G.tate
    Flex. M.sanu
    ^what option is the better play?
    I have (WR)R.randle on my bench, would you throw him in anywhere?

  7. Clint says:
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    That’s so hilarious. The Raiders continuing to be Raider-y. Murray finally gets a shot and shows up big only to get a concussion so we’re back to ho-hum MJD/DMac. I love how much hype the phantom MJD returning to relevancy got back in preseason.

    On a side note, why don’t we get to hear from some obscure Lion from that 2008 team regarding any other team potentially taking away that hallowed winless record annually? We had to endure years of Mercury Morris being the ambassador of the ’72 Dolphins so why can’t we have annual sound bites from Dan Orlovsky or Kevin Smith of those Lions each time their record’s threatened? It would be priceless to hear “No WAY this team is as bad as we were. We were Bad News Bears bad. They’re just quasi-bad” complete w/a Dr Evil-like pinky.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Clint: That’s the sad part for the Chiefs too, the Raiders were being very Raidery throughout the game.

      Could you imagine how bad it would be if the Patriots hadn’t been beat by the Giants? I think Mercury Morris and that whole clique is insufferable, but I would take them any day over what Rodney Harrison and company would be like with an undefeated record.

  8. Alex says:
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    PPR League with 2 Flex spots

    which 2 out of these 3 players would you start. WR’s get 3 points per TD whereas RB get the full 6

    Oddell Beckham

    Jordan Matthews

    Trent Richardson

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Alex: Not Richardson.

  9. Charles says:
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    Jay who should I start at my flex? Jonas Gray, FJax or Devante Adams? NON PPR. Thank you.

  10. Tyler says:
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    Half ppr, who would you flex if Sanders can’t go: Sankey or McKinnon? Start either of them over Vereen or Ryan Mathews?

    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tyler: Sankey… but no, I’d rather have Mathews and Vereen going.

  11. Stanman says:
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    Which 2 defenses do you like ROS out of Arizona, Detroit, and Green Bay. I am looking at Arizona and Detroit as the best options, but Green Bay has been pretty good as of late and they have a pretty great schedule to end the season.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Stanman: Arizona and Green Bay. I like Detroit, but there is some big play potential with the other two.

    • The Harrow says:
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      @Stanman: also, GB has moved up to the 10th best real life D also.

  12. Eric says:
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    Hi Jay,

    10-team non-PPR:
    Joique Bell or Tre Mason ROS?

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Eric: Mason.

  13. CWebb says:
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    I so made that comment about Carr’s eyeliner last night

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @CWebb: We should be friends. And probably shop together.

  14. Kyle says:
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    Choose three of the four: Hill/Bernard, Forsett, Josh Gordon, Emmanuel Sanders PPR

    Hopkins or Shorts? PPR

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Kyle: Forsett, Gordon, Sanders.

  15. Kevin says:
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    Need help with picking out a DST for the playoffs(weeks 15 and 16).I have to choose between Seattle, Arizona, Baltimore, and Kansas City. Can you rank them in order? Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Kevin: Seattle.

  16. Gg says:
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    Pick 2 ROS PPR
    McKinnon, Crowell, J Gray

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Gg: Gray, Mck.

  17. Zandy says:
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    so in one of my 0.5 PPR leagues theres a 2 move per week max
    I picked up Clay for Olsen’s bye and the Indy Def
    I own Denver Def but figured Indy vs Jax was worth upisde especially since sacks are 2 pts in this league

    That said, now it looks like Clay is doubtful and im stuck
    Would you trade Indy Def for Jace Amaro or just play Indy and hope clay plays?
    thought being is Indy worth more points vs Denver than Amaro is worth vs basically taking a 0

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zandy: I don’t think the Indy D is worth much. I’d do that.

  18. Barker says:
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    10 team 1/2 ppr

    Qb brees wr calvin gordon evans rb lacy murray te reed flex p manning
    K tucker def detroit
    Bn fitzgerald sims beckham ivory west olsen

    Drop reed for sefarian jenkins tamme paul

    Is it time to drop ivory or west for handcuffs ? ( randle and/or starks)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Barker: Tamme and I’d hold. They are fine handcuffs.

  19. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    in PPR i have these (listed by rankings), need to play 2. before miller’s other injury news (knee) it was an easy ingram/miller.
    ingram/miller/vereen/hill/mathews/latavis (shame i didn’t accidentally play that guy, would’ve looked like some of genius/lucky idiot)

    • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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      @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: also, this team is starting to fill up with tavis and tavius’s, with PIT’s and MIA’s. i have another team where i used to have all of the j.jones’ in the entire WR part of league, julio/james/jacoby (return yardage league, that guy used to be a beast in those)

  20. Teddy Heater says:
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    You nailed Evans at Flex last week! Tip of the cap to you. Same quandry, obviously I looked at the rankings, just wanted to throw it at ya again
    Beckham @ Dal
    Harvin @ Buf
    Sanders v Mia
    Wallace @ Den

    Btw, I know you’re a Bourbon/Whisky guy not trying to be creepy, but I need to send you a bottle of Johnny Drum! Amazing.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Teddy Heater: Thanks! You can send me anything you want! (Just like your mother.)

      I really like Beckham there for some reason… SNF really feels like a place where Cowboys love to derp.

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