“Sit Down. Stand Up (Snakes and Ladders)” is a must see Radiohead cut in a live setting, as it’s accompanied by a Brief History of Time-style light show that’ll heighten your sense like an auto-tuned conversation with Mister Rogers. This isn’t a music blog so I’ll spare you a tiring (spare tire pun intended) persuasive diatribe on the proper use of electronic hi-hats and bass chords. This blog is about fantasy football and how to drop a dislodging hit on your defenseless opponent that results in a different type of yellow laundry. Since we’re locked in with hyperbole and visions of soiled underwear, let’s load up your week 7 IDP squad with some sneakily, solid starting options. Please note that two of the league’s top defenses (known as defences in Canada) are in play as I compose this fantasy player polluted prose, and I hope you started a ‘Hawks linebacker (i.e.Wright, Wagner, or Hill).

Defensive Backs that Won’t Front

Antonio Cromartie @ NE – Mr. “I Gots Lots of Kids” will see lots of snaps and tackle/tipped ball opportunities versus the Brady bunch on Sunday. I mentioned utilizing teammate David Harris a few weeks ago, and now it’s time to look towards Sexy Rexy’s secondary, specifically Antonio. Week 7 Passive Aggressive Projection: 6 Total Tackles and 3 Passes Defended

Ronde Barber vs. NO – The brother that torched Tiki in terms of total football tenure finds himself as an effective IDP option this week against Brees and the band of burley birthmarks (Barber has averaged 6 tackles per game vs. Saints over the past 2 seasons). And yes, I’m sure Ronde lies sleepless wondering if he’s a start-worthy IDP commodity on weeknights. Ultimately, the football is destined to leave Brees’ hand around 50 times Sunday and Ronde remains a quality DB start in most formats. Week 7 Passive Aggressive Projection: 8 Total Tackles and 2 Passes Defended

***BONUS BIN*** Ike Taylor @ CIN — After getting abused by Kenny Britt a week ago the 3rd most targeted corner in the NFL gets A.J. Green. If penalty yards against were a positive stat in fantasy football (like that of fantasy hockey) Ike would be top 5 IDPer (flagged 3 times last week). He’s a talented player, but his emotional flare ups are leading to ugly pass against numbers and teams will continue to test the “Swagger.”  Week 7 Passive Aggressive Projection: 6 Total Tackles, 2 Passes Defended, and 1 INT

Stadium Packed, Linebackers to Stack

Stephen Tulloch @ CHI – A perpetually non-flashy option, Tulloch typically gets benched for more popular names and still continues to eclipse 100 tackles a season behind a solid Motor City front 4. Monday he faces a Bears team that attempts less passes a game than the Miami Dolphins, which means ample opportunity for tackle scraps if his knee holds up. He’s a start in most 12 team IDP leagues this week. Passive Aggressive Projection: 10 Total Tackles

O’Brien Schofield @ MIN – Cast in the shadow of this year’s most dominate IDPer (D-Wash), the guy with a first name that’s a last name is flying under the radar (less than 2 % ownership  in Y! and ESPN leagues) while producing a solid balance of sacks and tackles. Minnesota sports a lower-tier adjusted sack rate and employs a passing game really based on YAC, which provides O’Brien with blitzing and screen pass maintenance duties on Sunday. Schofield is a blended flavor of bold, ballsy-ness for your bye week plagued defensive player roster.  Week 7 Passive Aggressive Projection: 7 Total Tackles and 1 Sack

Toeing the Linemen

Carlos Dunlap vs. PIT – The Steeler O-Line is in its seemingly annual injury carousel mode right now and Dunlap sits awaiting the IDP-DL benefits. IDP-DL benefits dont’ end as awkwardly as the ‘friend with benefits’ concept, because they don’t require much more interaction than screaming at a television after a play occurs and you can always drop the lineman without much emotion. Dunlap squares off against rookie tackle Mike Adams under the lights Sunday and should win a few individual battles in the trenches to the tune of a sack or 2. Week 7 Passive Aggressive Projection: 3 Total Tackles, 1 Pass Defended, and 1 Sack

Jerry Hughes vs. CLE – This week 7 start suggestion hinges upon Jerry’s position eligibility in your league. Filling in for the injured Robert Mathis, the former 1st round pick, Hughes, made things happen against the Jets last week (8 total tackles and a sack). He’s technically playing an outside linebacker spot, but has played snaps at DE in the past which nets him the highly coveted “DL” label in Yahoo! fantasy arenas. Essentially, we trying to exploit a fantasy football loophole famously exploited by ‘06 Colston owners: the fake TE play. So, you could say I’m toeing the line with this selection. Week 7 Passive Aggressive Projection: 6 Total Tackles and 1 Sack