Beer bonging a gallon of chew spit while watching your pregnant mother get a$$ blasted by Ron Jeremy> Owning Larry Fitzgerald in fantasy football in 2014.

-Tehol Beddict

Greetings, and welcome to another excruciatingly sexy edition of, Disgrace/Delight! I am your honored master of ceremonies, the Tehol Beddict, and I come to you bearing gifts. Where in the name of the Elder Gods are these gifts, you ask? The presents I offer you, distinguished ladies and gents, is the verbiage I’ve spewed out for you below in the form of written communication. Take it all in (swallow, don’t spit) and leave your thoughts and questions when you’re finished reading, as each and every one of you deserve special attention (ladies and Sky especially ).

You know what the deal is here and you definitely know what the real is. This is: DISGRACE/DELIGHT!!! TAKE HEED!

Players Who Delighted Me

Chris Ivory – I expected Ivory to possibly pick up a couple short yardage TDs against Oakland, but a 70-yarder? Not even, I, Beddict, his biggest supporter, could have predicted such a shocking moment. Being that I plugged him in for Andre Ellington, I couldn’t have been happier. 10 carries simply isn’t enough work for this man-beast. If the Jets want to win 8 or more games, they will need to feed both Ivory and Chris Johnson. Expect 8-10 TDs for Ivory this season.

Percy Harvin – Well, that escalated quickly. If you witnessed the Hawks pulverizing the Packers of Green Bay into submission last Thursday, then you’d know that Percy is being featured in the offense this season and had 4 carries and 7 receptions. Do you get kick return yardage in your league? Double bonus! Yea baby, yea! I’m assuming he gets a touchdown this week to satisfy your hunger. Witness!

Marshawn Lynch – I know this guy whose girlfriend, now wife, got the dickens from Beastmode. Not only did he wife it up, but he wore Lynch’s jersey to a football game. If that’s not the most pathetic thing I’ve ever witnessed, then I don’t know what it is. When Beastmode goes digging for oil, he leaves a cavern so vast and barren that no other living organism can survive there. Speaking of Beastmode, the doubters are feeling mighty ignorant right now, as he looked better than ever. 20 carries for 110 yards and 2 TDs? Yea, sounds about right. Expect more punishment given out to the Chargers this week, though I’d assume more like 90 yards and 1 TD. Again, and this is extremely important, don’t ever, ever ever ever ever leave your chick around Beastmode. Don’t think you’d ever get over it, cuz you wouldn’t! YIKES.

Matt Ryan – Matty Ice done did what  many of us expected of him this season. With Julio Jones back at full strength, Roddy white fully recovered from whatever it was that was hampering him last season and with Harry Douglas in the slot, the Falcons are loaded up like never before. With a lack of a running game, this offense should be gunning each and every week.

Antonio Brown This play and the accompanying Lui Kang sound effects are more than enough to earn a spot in the delight section. What an absolute legend! The Elder Gods have blessed Brown in giving him the most spectacular jump kick ability since my idol, Jean-Claude Van Damme. Not only did Brown accomplish this incredible feat, but he embarrassed Joe Haden in the first half, completely torching him for 5 receptions, 115 yards and a tub. Haden tried to run his mouth and say he was best corner in the league last season… since that moment, he’s been ran through more times than Elizabeth Berkley. Going in the 3rd round of most fantasy drafts, Brown is the definition of a steal. Monster season on the horizon.

Knowshon Moreno – Maaaaan, Know knows, know what I’m sayin? Peace, Lamar Miller. Thanks for playing, bud. Miller somehow manages to lose the starting tailback each and every single season. Why? He just doesn’t seem to have the intangibles. I don’t even know that he’s a great change of pace back, quite honestly, but we shall see. Moreno is the Dolphins back you want to own.

Jake Locker – My preseason sleeper for breakout fantasy QB of they year… and just wait till he starts running. They didn’t call him the “White Michael Vick” in college because he was into dogfighting. Expect a beastly outing against the peonic defense of the Dallas Cowboys. This could be one for ages.

Kelvin Benjamin – Steal of the draft? Carolina has no other wide receivers worth getting the ball to and Benji is an absolute hog in the redzone as I’m sure you noticed on Sunday. He should battle Cooks for rookie of the year, and that, my friends, is the most exciting news I’ve read about since the naked pics of Justin Verlander and Kate Upton came out.

Isaiah Crowell – Not one, but TWO touchdowns from this former high school legend? The Browns have themselves a steal here, folks! It’s just like when those Hollywood studios get a child actor under contract, pay them a fraction of their worth for 5 years, and than dump them in a trash heap when they’re through with em. Let’s pray to the Elders it don’t end up like that for Crowell, ya’ll. Yes, Terrance West, who underwhelmed in the preseason, had a fab game as well, but I believe Crowell is the more talented of the two and if Tate misses any time going forward, IC will take more of his carries. [Update: Ben Tate is out 2-4 weeks, so you know what to do.] You don’t need to swoop him up just yet, but keep an eye on tha kid, ok? 32 yards with 2 TDs on 6 carries is nothing to blow your nose at, or whatever that saying goes. You know that old children’s tale from the sea.

Non-NFL Delights

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – I am simply placing TMNT in the delight section, because it wasn’t terrible enough to be considered a disgrace. It’s extremely difficult to envision a way where my turtles would still have mass appeal, however, I do believe it’s possible. All it would take is some superior writing and….wait…hold on…..what’s this? ……..TMNT has grossed over $300 milly, worldwide???? Yaaaassss, Michael Bay, Yaaaaaasss. TMNT 1 and 2 forever changed my life, so if this film can do something similar for any little Beddicts out there, then I’m all for it. I wasn’t feeling Splinter in this film, whatsoever. Ughhhh, that voice tho. And no word on wether Keno is going to make an appearance or not. Hold on….Wait a minute…There’s a sequel coming in 2016!? Heroes in a half shell, TURTLE POWER!

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Diablo 3: Reaper of Souls – Diablo 3 reminds me of Golden Axe for the Sega Genesis… only pumped with more steroids than Lyle Alzado. I literally could not stop playing this game until I had beaten the entire thing. Hours were flying by as I was dead to the rest of the World. If you noticed me absent on Twitter for like three days last week, that’s why. I’m ashamed yet I have no regrets. Try it out, if you dare. …..your wife may leave you when you refuse to put down the sticks, but hey, that may be a good thing. Am I right, or am I right? [Jay’s Note: You should move up a bit and try out Dota 2…]

 

Who Disgraced Themselves

Larry FitzgeraldFitz gets paid $15 mill per to do nothing, and I can paid zero to drop these gems on you every week. What’s wrong with this picture? Moving forward. I despise myself for turning on a Cardinals preseason game and witnessing Larry legend take the opposition deep, showing the kind of wheels I hadn’t witnessed from him in seemingly a decade. Though I only drafted him in one league, it still hurts worse than the time my baby-sitter smacked my D with a spatula, as I wouldn’t stop flashing her. I totally smashed it eight years later tho, so it’s all good. Carissa, call me if you’re reading this. The fact that Fitz seemed to be Arizona’s fifth option on offense is a tad concerning, but I still say he has a solid season, as he seems to be moving pretty well and I can definitely envision some 2 TD games for him on the horizon. If you don’t believe Larry still has it, just ask his Daddy.

percy-fitzgerald-keanu

Tom Brady – Was that Tom Brady on the field on Sunday, or a meth’d out Tom Sizemore? I missed many of the games, as I was flying home from the wedding of one of the few women I’ve ever met that I never slept with, so I was unable to view the Dolphins massacre the Pats in the second half.  Yes, my respect for the aforementioned freshly married woman runs balls deep, but my respect for Brady after witnessing THIS, shall never return. Maybe New England is due to miss the playoffs.  Who knows, maybe I’ll start banging white chicks again (doubtful), but I’m going to go out on a limb and say both are highly improbable. Brady’s pathetic 29/56 passing day will soon be forgotten as Gronk continues to get healthier and that stable of talented receivers get their shizzzz togetha. Tom will drop bombs in Minnesota this week. Believe dat.

Trent Richardson – What I wouldn’t give to no longer cry a seemingly endless supply of tears after witnessing T-Rich run the ball. Curse the Elder Gods, for they have spoken to me in my dreams, and this is what they said: Trent Richardson is a piece of Rhinoceros dung and doesn’t belong on an NFL roster let alone a fantasy one. There you have it, my friends. It has been written.

Jamal Charles – It’s highly probable that Andy Reid should no longer be coaching NFL football and that we are witnessing what is the beginning of a 3-13 season, in which he is unceremoniously dropped like a sack of rocks. Jamal Charles had 7 carries. I repeat, SEVEN CARRIES! Like, IN THE WHOLE GAME! Andy must have been up late wacking off to the food network when he should have been devising ways in which to get JC the rock. Charles was many a fantasy analyst’s number 1 back going into this season (NOT MINE), and this is mos def not the way they hoped things would turn out. Maybe they’ll now understand the way I feel about Bryce Harper and dare I say… Domonic Brown.

Sammy Watkins – Buffalo traded away next year’s first rounder to move up a few spots to take a receiver they targeted a minuscule four times in the opener? That’s like having sex with Lisa Kudrow immediately, instead of taking the opportunity to blow Jennifer Aniston’s back out a year from now. Not acceptable, whatsoever. I love Watkins, but by no means did I view him as a Julio Jones or A.J. Green, so Buffalo better hope they win at least 8 games, or this trade will look horrific. I still feel good about my preseason predictions for him tho, which were 800 yards max and 6 TDs.

Tony Romo – Romo appeared more flummoxed than did Sky after he opened the Razzball van only to witness Capozzi and I Chinese finger trapping that hottie from our live draft. I’m concerned; both for Romo and Sky.

Josh McCownI’m extremely disappointed in the way McCown performed on Sunday. I feel like my son just struck out with the bases loaded with a chance to win the little league world series with a base hit, then sh*t his pants. Yes, the Bucs’ new free agent pickup had 2 touchdown passes, but they both came late in the 4th quarter and he threw 2 pick ta boot. I stills say McCown has a solid season fantasy wise, but this isn’t the start I foresaw when sacrificing a goat to the Elders in his name a couple months back.

Ben Tate – Sorry, Benjamin, just because you were injured (shocker), that doesn’t mean you’re safe from the disgrace list. Both, Terrance West and my personal favorite, Isaiah Crowell, looked great against Pittsburgh soooooooo, enjoy owning Tate this season, guys.

Derek Anderson – Make sure you pick up D.A. in all formats immediately… just kidding.

 

Betting with Beddict 

This little segment is being added this year due to the constant requests of numerous gambling junkies and who am I to say no? I’m Tehol Beddict, and I can say whatever I want to say… but I actually like the idea, since I’ve been deep in the betting game at numerous parts of my life when my strip-o-grams weren’t covering all the expenses for my lavish lifestyle. We will be tallying up wins and losses and keeping a year long count as the season goes forward. This season I’m officially 2-0, as I told people, live on the radio and on twitter, to bet the Seahawks at -5, as well as the over of 46 in the same game. I suppose it wasn’t it print….BUT I’M COUNTING IT. Teams in Bold print will be who I’m taking.  Take heed!

Pittsburgh(+2.5) @ Baltimore- Tehol, Baltimore can’t start the season off 2-0, can they? This is a must win and they’re at home. They can and they will. Black and yellow, black and yellow, black and yellow.

Detroit(+2.5) @ Carolina – This is a Greg Oden wang sized test for the Lions. Beddict says they pass.

Miami(-1) @ Buffalo – Buffalo gets new owner but gets same disgraceful results……that’s three road teams in a row….hmmmmm.

Jacksonville @ Washington(-6) – This is difficult decision, but I simply don’t see the talent on Jacksonville and the Washington Football Team are desperate for a win. If they are unable to snatch a nice home victory over J’ville, then they’re not winning more than 5 games this season. Tomahawk chop.

Dallas at Tennessee( -3.5) – Remember the Titans, ya’ll! I’d be tempted to buy this to 3 to ensure victory but sometimes in life you have to take risks…..Except for when it comes to raw dogging a prostitute. Don’t do that.

Arizona(-1) @ NY Giants- The Giants looked pathetic again in opening the season, and I refuse to bet on Eli Manning (who looks horrible) against any legit secondary.

New England(-3) @ Minnesota- Yes, I realize Minnesota just put the hammer of Thor into the rectums of the Rams, but New England doesn’t lose back-to-back games to start the season… tho my heart want Minnesota. I won’t be touching this one.

New Orleans(-6.5) @ Cleveland – The supposed super tandem of Joe Haden and Justin Gilbert were burned more frequently than a Vietnamese hooker this past Sunday, and that’s concerning in more ways than one.

Atlanta @ Cincinnati(-5.5) – This is the year Cincy finally achieves greatness. By that, I mean they make the 2nd round of the playoffs. They will shut down the powerful Falcons offense in similar fashion to myself having to continuously Heisman Capozzi, as he insisted upon sleeping in my King size waterbed with me.

St. Louis @ Tampa Bay(-6)- This is the season from hell for the Rams, and the Bucs need this game in a major way. Being that they’ve improved their team in every area on the depth chart, I say they have enough to smash St. Louey.

Seattle(-6) @ San Diego. Are you kidding me? Is this a joke? Lock of the week. I take that back; LOCK OF THE CENTURY! Have you witnessed the Seahawks play football? There’s simply no squad that can compete with them. Bet the house. [Jay’s Note: Upset of the week. Take the points.]

Houston @ Oakland(+3)- I don’t yet believe in Houston and Oakland should be able to get something going against that pathetic defensive backfield. Stay away on this one.

NY Jets @ Green Bay(-8.5)- Not a huge Geno Smith fan.

Kansas City @ Denver(-13.5)– Be prepared to witness a walrus grab his ankles. Coo coo ca choo.

Chicago @ San Francisco(-7)- With two Bears offensive lineman down, Jeffrey nursing a hamstring injury, and the home loss against Buffalo, I simply can’t justify betting on Jay Cutler.

Philadelphia(+3) @ Indianapolis- Indy certainly isn’t lacking offensive weaponry (I’m not talking to you, Trent Richardson), but their defense should be atrocious. Should lose another shootout.

 

Thank you for joining me as tis always thee greatest of all pleasures having you along for this journey some call life. I call fantasy football, life, but that’s just me. As per usual, your comments and questions will be responded to quickly as your input, positive or negative, is greatly appreciated. Their will be reader submissions into next week’s disgrace column, so leave me your best here or tweet it to me for the top user submitted #Disgrace post of the year will receive a razzball shirt, autographed by yours truly. If you’re not following me on Twitter, I’d suggest doing so now at @Tehol143 .

  1. ashtray says:
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    What do you make of the NO backfield? Trade Ingram while his value is high or ride him til the end?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @ashtray: Not sure what you could trade him for but I believe he’s going to have a nice season for sho. make sure you read this entire article. holllllla

  2. jcg says:
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    Better roster stash J Hill or T West? Any reason to hold Latimer? He’s my WR5 so not worried about short term.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @jcg: I would say West at the moment with Tate missing time. hard to not go West with that info, wouldn’t you say? No reason to hold Latimer but it depends on whats out there. I have no problem holding if you’re not gonna use him but id rather stash both hill and West if possible

  3. Lando87 says:
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    Do you start Vincent Jackson or Markus Wheaton this week for third receiver? Wheaton looked great on my bench week one, but Jackson draws the hapless Rams this week…

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Lando87: Bro, you simply can’t bench Vincent Jackson, a 3rd round pick for Wheaton. Wheaton may break one but that’s just the nature of the game. V jax should have 100 yard day

  4. Connor says:
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    Got offered AJ Green and Rashad Jennings for Arian Foster and Julio Jones. Any thoughts?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Connor: WOw, thats a pretty equal trade but I’d probably hold although your side is much more injury prone. If you want to be safe, go ahead and make the trade but you have the superior running back and a receiver in a more high octane offense as it sits now

  5. DiRo says:
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    Tom Brady or Ryan Tannehill….which wife do you Chineese finger trap?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @DiRo: Giselle, no question. tannehill’s wife has the blonde thing working in her favor which has been fooling the male population for years. who am I kidding, Id give my life savings to body bag both of them. thanks for reading

  6. Zandy says:
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    Trade my Bradshaw for his TWest in 0.5 ppr?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Zandy: extremely tough call for me as I’m not 100 percent sold on West but the fact is he’s the starter right now. I do believe bradshaw will see more time with T-rich blowing d so this could be a wash but with clevelands emphasis on running the ball I’d have to go with West. thanks for checking in, cuzz

      • Zandy says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: I guess how would you rank the following: West, Bradshaw, Forsett, Pierce, Pierre Thomas, Lamar Miller
        I have to get rid of 1, who would it be?

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Zandy: wow all these dudes are basically the same hahahah. you have to do right now? it will be interesting to see what happens in baltimore so its hard to cut one of those two and all the guys are in similar situations. id probably cut bradshaw or Thomas

          • Zandy says:
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            @Tehol Beddict: thanks tehol!
            Here’s the full context (should have done this to start), it’s a 12 team with 0.5ppr – start 2 RB and theres 1 WR/RB/TE flex that I always use RB in

            my RB’s are
            Montee
            Rashad
            Bradshaw
            Pierce
            Forsett
            Lamar Miller
            Pierre Thomas
            Rainey

            So I have a monopoly on RB3’s basically haha. West is someone Ive identified as a worthwhile acquisition since he’s close to an RB2 right now and I think I can get him by sending his owner one from the list plus Rainey, which frees a roster spot for me to pick up a DEF (which I normally wait till Sunday AM to do) and let’s me upgrade.

            West’s owner only has Bush, West and TRich. So I’m thinking of doing Ahmad (bc of Trich) and Rainey for West or
            something like Pierce, Forsett, Ahmad for West and Bush
            What would be your offers for West alone and for West and Bush?

            • LT Murray IV

              Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Zandy: bradshaw and rainey for west is fine. I like that. i wounldnt do that that bush trade if I was the other owner but thats just me. don’t really see how that would work but if he’s’ open to it, Fluck it

  7. Steve says:
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    Would u drop Ingram to pick up Hyde or Crowell ??
    Thanks

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Steve: Steverino!! Nah, I wouldn’t do that

  8. ron says:
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    I was offered Giovani Bernard for Decker in PPR league. Thoughts?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @ron: PULL THE TRIGGER, NOW!!!!! #CaptainRon

  9. Wacha Wacha says:
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    Hey Tehol
    Which is the best RB add in the hopes of striking gold(or at least an eventual RB 2) in my 14 team league? Helu, A Williams, D Freeman, Lamichael James, Cunningham, Taliaferro, or should I just grab Dunbar as a handcuff?

    My RBs are D Murray, A Ellington, C Johnson, L Miller, B Sankey
    Thanks you the man!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Wacha Wacha: Wacha Wacha Wacha! tough call here, man. I’m sure most would say Freeman but I’m not a fan. Maybe the Rams get Cunningham more involved. they keep saying they will anyway so I’d look there. Everyone mentioning Taliaferro but I don’t see it any time soon if at all. thanks for reading

  10. Al says:
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    Hey man, in a 2 qb Ppr league do I do this trade Percy and Morris for Lacy, I have no running backs with Morris gore and spiller also my wr are Demarious Percy Fitz Sanders and Colston and have jimmy graham what should I do?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Al: I would hold on that. thats too much to give up. give me some other options and we can talk further

  11. Anthony says:
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    Here we go, rapid fire questions!!!! Uno, dos, tres…..! PPR League!

    1) Better TE play this week; Ertz or Gresham (CIN)

    2) Pick and play three: Garcon, Patterson, Boldin, Bradshaw, Wheaton, Rainey, Floyd (SD)

    Thanks!!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Anthony: 1. Ertz but Gresham could get a sneaky one against a pathetic falcons defense.
      2. Garcon Patterson Boldin.

      give me more. i can go all night

      • Anthony says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: that’s all I got for you for this week! Just curious, Boldin over Wheaton? Plead your case! I was thinking Wheaton..

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Anthony: Boldin just ate for 99 yards. bears will be tad better but Boldin is decent bet for a TD. Wheaton is kind of wild card play. ravens defense looked pretty solid but i suppose wheaton could catch a deep one. its a risk

  12. Nikko Respeto says:
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    Hey! How do you feel about My Charles and Crabtree for his Peterson and Tate?
    My team:
    QB – Matt Ryan – Falcons
    RB – Jamaal Charles – Chiefs
    RB – Bishop Sankey – Titans
    RB – DeAngelo Williams – Panthers
    WR – Michael Crabtree – 49ers
    WR – Mike Evans – Buccaneers
    TE – Rob Gronkowski – Patriots
    PK – Justin Tucker – Ravens
    DEF – Texans

    Bench:
    RB – Jeremy Hill – Bengals
    RB – Justin Forscet – Ravens
    RB – Danny Woodhead – Chargers
    WR – Jerricho Cotchery – Panthers
    WR – Brian Hartline – Dolphins
    WR – Markus Wheaton – Steelers
    TE – Jared Cook – Rams

    His team:
    QB Robert Griffin, Wsh QB
    RB Adrian Peterson, Min RB
    RB Rashad Jennings, NYG RB
    WR Golden Tate, Det WR
    WR Justin Hunter, Ten WR
    TE Vernon Davis, SF TE
    FLEX Andrew Hawkins, Cle WR
    D/ST 49ers D/ST
    K Steven Hauschka, Sea K
    Bench Cecil Shorts III, Jac WR
    Bench Tony Romo, Dal QB
    Bench James Jones, Oak WR
    Bench Aaron Dobson, NE WR
    Bench Marcel Reece, Oak RB
    Bench Jonathan Grimes, Hou RB
    Bench Andre Roberts, Wsh WR

    Is there a better trade that you see that involve His Peterson and My charles?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nikko Respeto: I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself and Crabtree should have good year buuuuuuuut, I’m still down with it. LOL. I might Prefer Justin Hunter to Tate but thats a little riske.

  13. Nikko Respeto says:
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    Hey! How do you feel about My Charles and Crabtree for his Peterson and Tate?
    My team:
    QB – Matt Ryan – Falcons
    RB – Jamaal Charles – Chiefs
    RB – Bishop Sankey – Titans
    RB – DeAngelo Williams – Panthers
    WR – Michael Crabtree – 49ers
    WR – Mike Evans – Buccaneers
    TE – Rob Gronkowski – Patriots
    PK – Justin Tucker – Ravens
    DEF – Texans

    Bench:
    RB – Jeremy Hill – Bengals
    RB – Justin Forscet – Ravens
    RB – Danny Woodhead – Chargers
    WR – Jerricho Cotchery – Panthers
    WR – Brian Hartline – Dolphins
    WR – Markus Wheaton – Steelers
    TE – Jared Cook – Rams

    His team:
    QB Robert Griffin, Wsh QB
    RB Adrian Peterson, Min RB
    RB Rashad Jennings, NYG RB
    WR Golden Tate, Det WR
    WR Justin Hunter, Ten WR
    TE Vernon Davis, SF TE
    FLEX Andrew Hawkins, Cle WR
    D/ST 49ers D/ST
    K Steven Hauschka, Sea K
    Bench Cecil Shorts III, Jac WR
    Bench Tony Romo, Dal QB
    Bench James Jones, Oak WR
    Bench Aaron Dobson, NE WR
    Bench Marcel Reece, Oak RB
    Bench Jonathan Grimes, Hou RB
    Bench Andre Roberts, Wsh WR

    Do you see any better trade options

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Nikko Respeto: I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself and Crabtree should have good year buuuuuuuut, I’m still down with it. LOL. I might Prefer Justin Hunter to Tate but thats a little riske.

  14. Harry Pubiak says:
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    Howdy!

    My team (12 team, .5PPR):

    Locker
    Lacy, Stacy, Joique, FJax, Hyde
    Antoooonio, Alshon, Wright, Cruz, Tate
    Rudolph

    What do you think about offering Joique/FJax/Cruz for Forte? I’m worried about my RB studs…

    • Harry Pubiak says:
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      @Harry Pubiak:

      His team:

      Kaep, Romo
      Murray, Forte, Vereen, Thomas
      Keenan, Patterson, Decker, Boldin
      Pitta, Reed

      • LT Murray IV

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Harry Pubiak: u don’t think thats too much? I do

    • Harry Pubiak says:
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      @Harry Pubiak:

      We start QB,2RB,2WR,TE,(RB/WR/TE). I’m 0-1 and scared.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Harry Pubiak: WHOA!!

      • Harry Pubiak says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        What is the “WHOA!!” in reference to?

        I really like Tate and Wright this year (leaving Cruz unnecessary), and the holes left by FJax and Joique aren’t so bad considering I’d still have Lacy, Stacy, Forte, and Hyde. I would then fill in with Crowell and folk like that…

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Harry Pubiak: Im ok with it. Pull the trigger, Pubes. Im with you

  15. vinny says:
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    Hey Tehol…you da man! What do you think of starting Henne over Cutler this weekend?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @vinny: I think that’s ballsy and I like balls, er, uhhhhhh. Hen dog might ball on Redskins. Do it, big dog.

  16. Barker says:
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    10 team 1/2 ppr count ret yards 50 yds pp QB and a QB flex spot so two qbs

    I give rgiii and garçon I get demaryius thomas

    Other qbs Newton Palmer tannehill
    Other wrs Cobb a brown terr Williams j Gordon

    Kid has Matt Ryan as his only qb and has Calvin and Marshall and desean so kinda needs a QB would I still be good if I went to Cobb and griffin/Palmer/ tannehill to get thomas

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Barker: Yea, I would trade RG3 and da frenchman for D Thomas in a hart beat. especially with Newton in the wings.

      • barker says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: would you offer cobb rg3 for demaryius

        then have a brown thomas garcon gordon williams

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @barker: Yes, I would totally do that. Toats Magoats . pull the trigga

  17. bradleybeal says:
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    think victor cruz’s game was a fluke? i just dont know if i can trust the giants and/or eli manning at all.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @bradleybeal: He’ll be better than that. don’t forget he had a couple drops tho. that wasn’t totally eli. altho eli was straight up dog sh!t. lets see what happens moving forward.thanks for reading and its an honor having a former gator check in.

  18. KK says:
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    Dual QB. Do I start locker or Brady in my QB 2 spot?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @KK: Im going Locker biggggggg this week. Im all in.

  19. centerfield_ballhawk says:
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    Tehol, which side does the Elder God likey? Twelve team keeper deluxe. Rashad Jennings and Eric Decker for Terrance West and Martellus Bennett? I’d be getting the West side… without a serviceable TE and Jennings and Decker are just bench figurines for my 0 – 1 squad currently.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @centerfield_ballhawk: Jennings and decker is by far better side. if desperate for tight end you need to try something else or give me who’s available this week and we’ll play the matchup.

  20. Qbert says:
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    Evening T,

    So I’m still rockin Ladarius at TE, and looked to fill the spot with Dwayne Allen but he got scooped up off the wire. Do you think Donnell on the ny football giants is a viable option or just a flash in the pan? I’m thinking I can work a deal with a team that has 2 TEs. I can’t get an elite guy but maybe a Greg Olsen type? Idk just need some production yafeelme?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Qbert: Q- dog!! how goes it, pimp juice? Get Olsen if you can. I like Donnell over Green as of now. What else is knew

      • Qbert says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: we on the same page boss. Gresham is also available on the wire. He was a delight in my NCAA 2009 video game. Worth the add? Not sure if I can pry Olsen in a trade…at least not with that attitude!

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Qbert: hahah. Gresham is interesting add this week. should definitely see some targets and maybe sneak in a TD. I like your thought process. go with it, plaaaaaya

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Julio White: it was a joke as she was speaking of someone else. as you can see multiple people were joking. I will no longer entertain you unless you have something productive to say. your insults aren’t even entertaining. go ahead and ask her if she has ANY issue with me whatsoever. Feel free. please do. weirdo

  21. John Rambo Jr says:
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    I’ve got a dilemma….Took Peyton early then went WR TE w/ my next two picks. Left me chasing RB the rest of the draft. I got the PM + Julius combo, but all my RBs are lackluster at best. My team in a standard 10 team non PPR:

    QB1 Peyton
    RB1 Spiller 2 Knowshon
    WR1 Dez 2 C. Patterson 3 Crabtree
    TE Julius Thomas
    Bench. Kendall Wright K Benjamin Cam Newton J. Bell

    Picked Cam off the waiver yesterday and Kelvin to pair w/ him today, but I need to dump a player to get under the limit by game time Thursday ( I dumped my kicker to add Kelvin and our bench max is 3).

    Peyton’s bye week is coming up (4) and that’s the reasoning behind even adding Cam in the first place.

    Question I face now is who do I dump? My RBs are thin already so I feel the need to hold onto all 3 even if they all kinda suck. Should I package a 2 for 1 combo?

    Please give me the strength and clarity to do the right thing o Tehol

    JRJ

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @John Rambo Jr: @Qbert:if you have to dump a dude anyway and you gonna get Murray then thats a no brainer. pull the triiiiiiiiiga

  22. Allan says:
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    Drop dan bailey for matt bryant?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Allan: kind of appealing as I can see atlanta driving but getting held from end zone. tough call but I’m fine with that move

  23. Marty Jannetty_Was Setup says:
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    Hilariously awesome write up. We play each other this week in one of the RCL leagues, best of luck to you, oh captain… my captain (In Demarius I trust).

    I’m not sure how our league will pan out due to the unexpected skillful drafting from the field, but in my other 3 money leagues I took Antonio Brown in the 2nd or 3rd round and I expect him to bang it home against a Ravens defense that let up 5 successful field goal attempts last week. I like 70% of your plays.

    Side note: I know a guy that once tongue kissed Sam Bradford’s college girlfriend in the litter box. It may or may not have been me. May the Gods be with you this season.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Marty Jannetty_Was Setup: MARTY JANNETTY!!!!! was setup? hahahahaha this is greatest name in razzball history. god, i loved that dude.

      I wish I selected Brown in more leagues than I did tho I did take him in 2nd in one league. he should score tonight.

      In the litter box? was she hot? did bradford find out ? i need details, Marty

  24. John Rambo Jr says:
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    Update:
    Just offered Knowshon/Crabtree for his DeMarco Murray.
    Thoughts?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @John Rambo Jr: seems a tad much after a week opening game from crabtree but I suppose its fair deal, sir

  25. yokev_o says:
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    Start locker or tom brady this week? Standard 10 team league.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @yokev_o: Jay says no. I say Yaaaaaasssss.

  26. goodfold2 says:
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    damn that antonio b. video kicked so much ass, and it’s great that it’s even legal these days. imagine in the old days even the defense could hit people.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @goodfold2: It was incredible wasn’t it? I need the vine of the lui kang part with sound affect as I could watch it over and over and over and over and over. i live for that video

  27. goodfold2 says:
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    you got down early (and smart of you) if you got ARI -1. it’s much bigger now. somehow that game opened in some spots as NYG -1.5, which is completely insane. Also, what exactly is the ability to bone Kudrow have to do with being able to bone the much better Aniston, even with the extra year of Kudrow banging eligibility?

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @goodfold2: hahahahahaha i forget what part that was from but I thought it made sense. ooooh yea i was saying trading next years first round pick and this years to trade up a few spots. insta gratification.

      im in on arizona especially wit tha badger back!

  28. Frank White says:
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    Sup Brotha Tehol!!! I got Mathews vs Seattle and Bush at RB and I’m looking for a flex.
    Mathews
    Justin Forsett
    Fred Jackson
    Woodhead
    Boykin
    Nicks
    I was gonna start Forsett at flex but I’m scared at Matthews. Anyway which 2 should I start, 1 flex, 1 RB?? Thanks!!

    • Frank White says:
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      Also, what’s the name of the new g unit album and/or mixtape?? I looked all over Google and they never say what it’s called

      • LT Murray IV

        Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Frank White: “The Beauty of Independence”

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Frank White: WHat up big dog!!!! we going Forsett for sho do!! best matchup by far. Matthews aint doing a damn thang against the Hawks

      • Frank White says:
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        Thanks dog, but who at flex??

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Frank White: I said, FORSETT homeeeeeey

          • Frank White says:
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            I know but Mathews is my RB in the RB spot.. I asked what 2 guys should I use, 1 guy for the RB spot and the other for flex??? Cmon Homie!! Lol Help a brotha out

            • Frank White says:
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              Sorry if I worded it wrong.. My bad

              • Tehol Beddict says:
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                @Frank White: How about my man, Freddddy jackson. he should get one for you big dog

  29. Paige Holden says:
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    Would you bench Fitz for Wheaton? Also, Forsett or Reggie Bush? I had a terrible week last week with my starters and may need a shakeup.

    QB – Foles
    RB1 – J. Charles
    WR1 – AJ Green
    WR2 – Fitz or Wheaton
    RB2 – Forsett or Bush or Sproles or J. Bell
    TE – Martellus Bennett in for Cameron
    FLX – Mike Wallace (or any of the other players not filled)

    Thanks!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Paige Holden: woooow tough call on FItz as game tonight hmmmm. I would start forsett since pitts run d got destroyed last week. Im still going Fitz tho. Thanks for reading Paige. Contact me whenever you like and we will get your season righted!

      • Paige Holden says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:

        Thank you so much!

        So, Forsett instead of Bush and Fitz in over Wheaton. I like it. One last question…if Wallace is out for injury, would you start Bush or Wheaton in the flex spot?

        Cheers,
        Paige

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @Paige Holden: Paige, unfortunately we don’t know wether Wallace is injured yet or not and the Steelers game is this evening so its hard to make that call. I don’t Wheaton is a bad play. Im concerned with Bush going against Carolina so thats the problem but he should be serviceable should wallace be unavailable. thank you for reading. its a true delight having informed women taking part in the sport.

          • Paige Holden says:
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            @Tehol Beddict:
            I think a part of me doesn’t want to start Bush because I have Carolina D. I’ll be tormented the whole game! I’ll keep Wallace in and hope for the best. I like Wheaton, but I wish I had a few more games to go on. He could be by my sleeper stunner this season though, no doubt about it.

            Thanks for the help, I’ll be lurking around here for the season :-)

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @Paige Holden: stop by anytime. my pleasure!

  30. dan says:
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    My D. Thomas for the legendary Antonio Brown and Ellington….1 PPR league. I mean it seems fair, but ellington’s injury scares me.. but I feel iffy trading the best player away in the deal. What say you sir?!

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @dan: I’m nervous about Ellington as well but Im pulling that trigger. IN ppr brown is almost as valuable as Thomas, possibly more so if you get punt return yards which I’m assuming u don’t. Ellington looks to be ok and has bye week 4. lets make a deal here dannnny boy

      • dan says:
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        @Tehol Beddict:
        Great minds think alike. Besides anyone that front kicks with such gusto deserves a spot on my team

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @dan: I would do anything antonio brown asked me to do. ANYTHING. the mans a legend

  31. TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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    14 team .5 ppr league, traded Ingram, Kelvin Benjamin and Jeremy Hill for Brandon Marshall, Victor Cruz, and TD poaching Mike Tolbert. How’d I do? I’m stuck using Tolbert as my RB 2 for the moment unless I plus Crowell in there. Thanks.

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @TobiasFunkeAnalRapist: do you like Del thafunkyhomosapien? GREAT TRADE. how is that even possible. You’re a genius o f Albert Einstein levels. I might throw in crowell this week over Tolbert but you’re gonna have to find someone else going forward

      • TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Do I? This was my jam in 5th grade: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o0xDGXotGIE . I’ve got Ben Tate’s brokeass too and Benny Cunningham, but also AP who I expect to run shit this year. But yeah I thought it was a good trade too, selling high and buying low. Thanks brah.

        • dan says:
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          @TobiasFunkeAnalRapist:

          Shawshank levels of sodomy, send me an invite to your league haha

          • LT Murray IV

            Tehol Beddict says:
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            @dan: sodomy isn’t always a bad thing. or is it

        • LT Murray IV

          Tehol Beddict says:
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          @TobiasFunkeAnalRapist: cool. tate will be back and Im intrigued by Benny. Kudos

          • dan says:
            (link)

            @Tehol Beddict: @Tehol Beddict:

            no means yes, except when it means no or maybe.
            also fuck ben tate. I have that scrub. He’s softer than wet shit covered charmin tissue paper

            • Tehol Beddict says:
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              @dan: i hope he bounces back…..buuuuuut you may have a point

            • TobiasFunkeAnalRapist says:
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              @dan: Hahahah couldnt have put it better myself.

  32. adam blair says:
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    Mornin!
    Starting question for wr 3 spot and rb 2 spot….WK2

    start: Torrey Smith or Desean Jackson or Wheaton WR3

    start: Z.Stacy,Hill or Moreno?

    Thank you…

    • adam blair says:
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      @adam blair: forgot to mention .05 pt ppr

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @adam blair: good morning to you, Mr. B. I think both Torrey and D jax have nice games this week. Id probably go jackson but Torrey is fine also if you want some action tonight

      • adam blair says:
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        @Tehol Beddict: Yes… Thats what I was thinking in terms of making tonights game interesting. My opponent has Steve Smith or whatever his name is now. Any thoughts on the RB’s? Oh and thank you very much, love your articles. I picked up gordon too.

        • A Wesley Snipes Life says:
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          @adam blair: steve smith pulled the titus young thing, with adding “SR” to his name. Which really, each and every one of us that isn’t a repeated name of our father, grandfather etc, could do and actually are. it’ so stupid it’s funny. He hasn’t yet pulled the other Titus Young thing (being a sociopathic freakshow)
          http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2014/07/14/titus-young-arrested-again/

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @adam blair: I’d go Moreno after seeing what he working with last week. Stacy doesnt have the greatest matchup but its decent. got to go Moreno

  33. Gus says:
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    Riddle me this. you say Brady and Locker are good to start this week. I have both so who is going to have a better week? Brady was drafted as my starter but I’m willing to start anybody who help my team win.
    Thanks for the input

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Gus: everybody is asking this hahah. Brady is the safer pick obviously but I like to swing for the fences and I believe Locker is in line for a big game. Thanks for reading, Gus

  34. kisses says:
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    H2H PPR (1point ppr). I’m going back and forth on my lineup and would love some advice. This is what I have now:

    RB Jennings (Ari)
    RB Forsett (Pit, Tonight)
    WR Megatron (doesn’t matter, he’s a lock)
    WR Wallace (@Buf, hammy..?)
    WR Wright (Dal)
    Flex Hilton

    I’m starting to question myself with Wright/Hilton as WR and using the other or TWest as Flex. I’m sitting Stacy after last week to see what if he can prove himself and I don’t like Mathews against the Seahawks DEF.

    Thoughts?

    • kisses says:
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      @kisses: Hilton is playing Phi on Mon (but I’m sure you could have figured that out)

      • LT Murray IV

        Tehol Beddict says:
        (link)

        @kisses: I did know that, but thank you kisses

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @kisses: Got to go with Hilton in the big monday nighter!! T West should be solid again also but I can’t justify sitting wright or hilton who could both have monster games. I would consider starting him over forsett( splitting carries) and Jennings(tough arizona run d) but i like your lineup as is. Besos

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @kisses: you got it, babe

  35. jim says:
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    i need to start two of these in flex spots for 1 pt PPR league: james jones, marqise lee, danny woodhead, jeremy hill, carlos hyde. which two would you start?

    • kisses says:
      (link)

      @jim: For PPR purposes, I would go either Jones or Lee. Hyde might get you equal value in the run game, but he’s going to rack up many receptions with all of the other option San Fran has.

      • kisses says:
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        @kisses: *not going to

    • Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @jim: Im going Lee and maybe i suppose wood head cuz he could catch a few as they try to come back from beatdown thats coming

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @jim: Sorry put somewhere else. Lee and wood head tho james jones not a bad call neither is Hyde

    • Tehol Beddict says:
      (link)

      @Julio White: just making sure she wasn’t referring to me and as I assumed, she wasn’t. if you’d like me to screen shot the private messages she sent, I will gladly do so. you need a girlfriend or something bro. do u even read the posts are just come on here to talk sh!t. why take the time? its all good tho. keep being you

  36. Gus says:
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    In standard I need a war and flex, I have Fitzgerald , Hopkins , spiller, Benjamin , and Evans .

    • Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Gus: Im going Benjamin and Fitz tho I think Evans gets a td this week

      • gus says:
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        Thanks. I also have to decide matt Ryan or cam Newton @Tehol Beddict:

        • Tehol Beddict says:
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          @gus: Got to go matty ice. he in the zone. bengals very tough tho. i would consider newton but most would tell u ryan no doubt

  37. gus says:
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    Yeah, I have Ryan in, I just see if you have Newton start him….

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