Despite my complaints last week about some of the opening matchups being akin to choking on benzos (the Bills versus Ravens game still brings me into a yawn-state right at this moment), this morning’s schedule brings a bit more to the table. Sorta. I mean, yes, there are the aforementioned Ravens going against the Browns, which seems like a good time to take a nap. The Chiefs and Texans don’t seem terribly exciting. Even the 49ers at Panthers game doesn’t really do it for me, and that’s the 49ers fault. The Titans and Lions? That’s a big nope. But it’s hard to knock a day that starts out with some good ‘ole AFC North derp, which I’m sure the Bengals and Steelers will be happy to provide, and provide in large quantities. It’s tough for me, as I’m sure those who have read this site for a few years know that I find the NFC East derp to be both most satisfying and very often exemplifying the perfect levels of schadenfreude, but I would say the AFC North is a close second in that regard. Sure, the Browns are the Browns, but the levels the other three teams go to when facing off against each other to make sure we laugh and cry, often at the same time, is to be commended.

Couple things to note before we get started: First, if you haven’t done it yet, be sure to check out our new weekly projections to help set your lineups. If you are doing some DFS today (I’ll be doing DFS to your mother, if you know what I mean. *Wink, wink* I actually have no idea what that means…), check out our new DFSbot. Also, for all of you in our RCLs, we’ll have an update out next week with standings. I know they’re important, but we’ve been busy creating and implementing all of these new tools that were just talked about, so hopefully that’ll make up for it. And as always, our updated rankings are available after the jump!

Note: Use the “Flex” tab if you need a more complete picture to decide your starts and sits. Use the “OP” tab for 2QB Leagues. And you can access our Half PPR and PPR rankings using the drop down box in the top left of our rankings when you select the RB, WR, TE, or Flex positions. Any and all questions will be answered below…