Before the musician Sting spent his free-time digging Bart Simpson out of a well and having tantric Tex Mex — which from what I understand is when you start eating at a buffet and they don’t give you a time limit — he wrote a little ditty called Fields of Gold. Ostensibly it was a song of maturation and memory, but I prefer an alternate history: he was preparing the theme song for Justin Fields. Imagine sampling Fields of Gold like P.Diddy did Every Breath You Take, and then letting Donkey Teeth rap over that while you watch Justin Fields highlights. Now that’s a Monday Night! Let’s see what happened on Monday Night Football:Â
Justin Fields: OK player, you waited long enough. You waited through the Jay Cutler years. You waited through Mitch and Nick and the Red Rocket. Now, you’ve got your Fields of Gold — Justin Fields! Well, we’re probably looking at the upside variance now [adjusts monocle] and us data heads just gotta admit: Fields is developing like a fine young wine and is going to be wildly volatile for the rest of the year. Don’t drink him unless chilled! [stares at December on the calendar] Yes, Fields put up nearly 300 yards in the air and another 50 on the ground. That’s nice, right? Last week, Fields had 175 in the air and 100 on the ground. Sounds like Lamar 2.0, or amiwrong? No, I’m EverywhereBlair, and I’m never not right. Just, sometimes I struggle with the timing on being right. OK, let’s go one more game back in time [waves hands in the air] … Uh oh. 184 yards in the air and 3 picks. Let’s not linger on memory for too long. Live in the present! The Bears’ rookie signal-caller arrived on the Monday Night Football scene with blazing saddles and has announced that he’s the sheriff of Chicago Town. Of course, Fields and coach Matt Nagy are a bit less experienced at this football game than Ben Roethlisberger and Steelers’ coach Mike Tomlin, and the outcome of the game came down to clock management. Fields led a beautiful drive to take the lead but the Bears left nearly 2 minutes on the clock, which was more than enough time for the Steelers to kick a field goal and leave as victors. Whatever, this isn’t a betting site. Who cares who won as long as the players put up mega yards! For fantasy upside, Fields is available in nearly 80% of leagues and he has a bevy of offensive weapons around him, many of whom can evade tackles because the Bears don’t believe in offensive lines. Second-half surges are what fantasy championships are made of, and if you’re stuck at QB, it’s time to make your Fields gold.Â
Where u at HATERS!? JUSTIN. FIELDS.pic.twitter.com/TTYo3PcFON
— Derek Brown (@DBro_FFB) November 9, 2021
David Montgomery: Sigh. He’s got the heartbreaking power of Keanu Reeves, the rain-on-your-parade power of John Cusack…and yeah, he’s back. [stares at picture of Khalil Herbert as the theme from The Bodyguard plays]. We all knew Monty was the guy in Chicago, but after a ridiculously effective fill-in stint from his rookie understudy Herbert, fantasy managers had nothing but hope that a 1A/1B running back system might emerge. After all, that’s what was supposed to happen in Chicago with Monty and Tarik Cohen before the latter’s massive injury. Instead, we got 13 carries for Monty and 4 carries for Herbert, while Fields ushered 8 rushing attempts down the field. So, that’s a solid 25 carries as a team, and there’s (DFS) upside for that. But if we can look at this game as an indicator of future performance, it seems like Herbert might return to fantasy irrelevance again. Now I’m gonna go watch a Kevin Costner marathon.Â
Najee Harris: 22 carries and 62 yards. The man will work for his yards — maybe he should get a job at Four Seasons Total Landscaping? — but with only one game on the year above 5 yards per carry, fantasy managers can’t help but look longingly at Jonathan Taylor’s ridiculous efficiency and wish for a do-over on August drafts. Yes, we saw Harris get drafted in the first round by more than a few touts and other than that time he got 19 targets in a game, the Razzball consensus that Harris just wasn’t thrilling has been right. Harris is a rookie and he’ll get better, but he’s averaging about 3.2 yards per carry over the past three games, which is more in the “cheap beer that they sell at the state fair” territory of performance (anybody come from a 3.2 jurisdiction? Leave those comments below!)
Pat Freiermuth:Â Of course when we get a night of Allen Robinson and Dionte Johnson on the field, I write about Pat Friar Tuck. It’s because The Joey Wright can’t figure out how to say his name. Also, The Joey went feral in the flower gardens making his last video, so maybe we need to give him a bit more compensation other than tickets to the zoo. Also also — the return of the Pat — Freiermuth scored 2 tuddies, which is exactly what you were planning when you drafted Dionte, Claypool, and Harris on your team. Somebody turn this clip into a GIF so I can let it play in the background all winter.Â
— Joey Wright (@thejoeywright) November 9, 2021
So friends, how did the week go for you? Did you make the RazzBowl cutline? Are you looking at a race to the playoffs? Are you the guy who won $100K with Josh Johnson as their DFS captain? What’s your favorite Police album? Whatever you did this week, let us know down in the comments. I’ll see you for the primer on Thursday!Â
