I’ll be honest, I was late turning on the game by about five minutes, and arrived to a replay of a stupid shovel pass by Ryan Fitzpatrick and a field goal. Honestly, the Jets had possession for like 14 minutes in the first quarter and was losing… Typical I said! But whoa, 67,000 points later, I was like, what in hell actually happened? Would this be the game that might actually remove the dreaded Thursday night curse of beyond-sh*tty football? Well, probably not, Phil Simms is still alive… baby steps though. In what was a sorta-kinda “color rush” game, also known as GANG LIME JELLO NEON RAVE GREEN game, the Jets actually wanted it both ways, going with their usual white with green uniforms for the sake of the color blind. All eight percent of you. Which is fine, but if you’re going to go all white, it better be something like K-Swiss or else I ain’t even gonna notice. And yes, the game’s final score of 37-31 seems closer than the game actually was (and was probably quadruple what the O/U from Vegas was), but we did find out some valuable information moving forward. First, the Jets defense kinda sucks. Second, I saw some personnel issues with the Bills. Those include: The Bills. Oh, there were also 13 total penalties this game, good for 109 yards. If only I had picked up the referees off waivers instead of the Jets defense…
Special Note: As you might notice after the jump, our new Player Pages are up and running (whenever a player’s full name is written, you’ll be able to click on it and be taken to a magical box of info and other nifty thingamajigs). Special thanks to Rudy for this brand new feature, and he’ll have a post on this later today delving into the development, his process, and what you can expect moving forward. It’ll probably be a bit more informative than calling them “thingamajigs”, that’s for sure. But if you want a quick look-see, check out my favorite player’s page!
Eric Decker – 6 REC, 126 YDS, 21.0 AVG, 1 TD. I prefer the term “carpenter” but hey, work is work. Ya know?
Ryan Fitzpatrick – 24/34, 374 YDS, 11.0 AVG, 1 TD, 116.5 RTG, 5 CAR, 21 YDS, 4.2 AVG. Fitzpatrick first became a starting quarterback with the Bengals when Carson Palmer went down with an injury back in 2007. Since then, he has publicly thanked the Bengals coaching staff and development team for making him the player he is today. Does that explain what’s up with Ryan Fitzpatrick’s career? Oh, did you guys hear that he went to Harvard? DRINK.
Marquise Goodwin – 2 REC, 108 YDS, 54.0 AVG, 1 TD. You know, it turns out that Revis Island is actually a peninsula now guys.
Greg Salas (4 REC, 89 YDS, 22.3 AVG, 1 TD) and Sammy Watkins (2 REC, 20 YDS, 10.0 AVG) and Robert Woods (1 REC, 14 YDS) – I had no idea that bipolar disorder was something that extended to your passing game. I mean, if you include Goodwin’s stat line here, what the heck am I actually looking at? If I didn’t know any better, I’d have to say that this team actively hates its fantasy football.
Tyrod Taylor – 18/30, 297 YDS, 9.9 AVG, 3 TD, 1 INT, 112.8 RTG and 2 CAR, 25 YDS, 12.5 AVG. Ayyyyyyyyyyye, just in time for everyone to drop him. He was removed from the game temporarily in the third quarter after taking a helmet-to-helmet hit by referee and gun-toting Ed Hochuli, but I’m pretty sure when he told them to put Taylor through concussion protocol, they clarified the situation by letting Hochuli know that this is just what a Rex Ryan offense looks like…
Rex Ryan the person deserves to go 0-2. Rex Ryan the coach really doesn’t though. Wait, or is it the other way around?