Pierre Thomas has a MCL sprain. The PT Cruiser has blown a gasket because PT Cruisers are pieces of crap. Now Pierre Thomas is good, but his knee is not. Pick up Mike Bell now if you have Thomas. If you don’t, still pick him up. He looks like he may start against the Lions and if Thomas can’t stay healthy and Reggie Bush does his normal fall to the ground, not getting up thing then you have yourself the starting running back on a high powered offense.
Willie Parker: Coach Tomlin smoothly told the media that Fast Willie was going to be the sole starter for his team. Then he lit some candles and put on some Barry White and asked the media to slowly drop their tape recorders and head back into his office so they could discuss goalline carries over a nice bottle of chardonnay. Oh, move Parker up a bit, but he’ll get nicked up so don’t move Mendenhall down too much.
Kevin Jones: He’s hurt again. I like KJ and kept hoping he could get back on track, but it looks like he’ll go down into the big book of what might have been.
Donnie Avery: It looks like he’ll be back from his foot injury in time for week 1. This is good news for Avery and Steven Jackson owners. Avery has probably slipped in some drafts and needs to be propped back up, but not like Weekend At Bernie’s kind of propping, this dude is still alive.
Isaac Bruce, Mark Bradley, Malcolm Kelly, Sidney Rice, and Javon Walker: The question is, Name five #2 receivers most people have forgotten are still alive. Now I’m not saying go drop Adrian Peterson for these guys, but they are starting and could be worth watching for injury/bye week replacements.
Matt Leinart: Yes, this guy is still in the league and has actually looked good in preseason. If you are going to take a flier on a backup QB I’d use it on Leinart. Warner is decrepit and no matter how far in the stands Leinart throws it Fitz will probably catch it.
Jamal Lewis: The old keep getting older, but as long as they are making millions of dollars the Browns are going to ground their bones into the turf until they, or in this case, Jamal Lewis, averages about -.7 yards per carry. James Davis will get a lot of carries and as long as he outperforms Lewis, which I believe he will, it will be worth having him on your fake team.
Bob Sanders: He did not go on the PUP list as was first thought. I want to go on the PUP list because I’m guessing it’ll look something like this. Now why, you ask, do I have a defensive player up here today? Well, nosy noserton, when deciding between running backs, Joe Schmo and Sho Nuff, you are going to look at their opponents and see that one is playing Indy and if Bob Sanders is there you might think again. The guy likes to hit RB’s; that’s probably why he’s hurt all the time.
Marcus Trufant: This dude did go on the PUP list and now when you are looking for QB’s and WR’s to start make sure you are looking toward the Emerald City because there ain’t nobody behind the curtain in that secondary.
