Now I know and understand Andrew Luck is too young to be a huge fan of Third Eye Blind. In fact, let’s give him credit for maybe just not being a fan at because after all, other than Charlize Theron, is there anything that band has done that you care about? The question, of course, is rhetorical. But in the end, after watching tonight’s game, I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed fantasy life, baby. Though Andrew had a good fantasy game by box score standards – 2 more ground touchdowns to go with over 240 total yards – his turnovers are an issue that needs to get resolved. See, the stats say he only had 2 but on a drive in which he scored a TD on the ground he also had a pick that was negated by a roughing the passer play. So what I’m trying to tell you is, he could’ve finished the night with 1 score and 3 TO. It’s the fickle nature of the fantasy football beast that has given him few turnovers over the last couple of weeks but his play sure hasn’t been a huge part of it. So we all know next week is the sell deadline in many leagues and I’m giving you the red flag now. take it and run. Now before we move on, I can’t mention cereal without getting musically nostalgic care of my Lucky Charms reference. So groove for a bit with G Love and the Special Sauce before you carry on with the news that was for fantasy football…
Cecil Shorts, III – What is with all these WRs who have a few good games who are appending to their names? First it was Titus Young adding a ‘Senior’ to the end of his and now Cecil is the 3rd? Fine, I’m Sky Bloodgood, Sex Knight. BTW, my name comes from my fictional wife Moon Bloodgood. Why? Because she’s gorgeous and we fell in love while I watched the first and only season of Day Break…hrm, I really went on a tangent there. What I meant to say was, Cecil should have been universally owned since at least week 8 and yet he’s still only 31% owned in yahoo leagues and, worse, a measly 16% at ESPN. Despite having Gabbert and Henne as his QB, he finished the night with 6 catches for 105 yards and the lone score by the Jaguars. If that doesn’t get you out on waivers this morning to pick him up, then I give you the obligatory eat my shorts in response.
Vick Ballard/Donald Brown – At first it was supposed to be Ballard starting. Then Brown got called the surprise starter. Then Ballard is the one who actually started. Don’t know about you, but I don’t watch Soap Operas because there’s too much drama and not enough nudity and that seems like what we have here…minus the nudity issue, of course. Overall, they both had opportunities near the goal line and failed, though I’d say Ballard’s slant pass in the first half was the closest either came to scoring. Normally I shy away from situations like this but if you had to ask me who I wanted ROS based off of tonight’s performance, I’d say Moon Bloodgood. Oh and a close second would be Vick Ballard.
Laurent Robinson – Despite a fumble in the first half, he turned in quite the PPR performance netting 9 receptions on 13 targets to go with 77 yards. Now he had 8 for 70 at the half but he was only 10% owned before tonight – and I was desperate enough to be a percent of that percent – so I doubt many people shed tears about a letdown in the second half. If Laurent and Cecil can keep this pace, we can finally stop talking about Justin Blackmon which would make me one of the happiest people alive. Warning, blurb-jack commencing in 5, 4, 3, 2…Blackmon was to blame for at least two major gaffes for the Jags and they always happened while they were driving for a score. At one point, he was set to the task of bumping the defensive end while the Jags were down within the 20. The result of the play was Blackmon didn’t even touch him as he lollygagged out to the flat for a pass that would never come. Then he took a cheap shot at a Colts defender on one of Cecil’s catches for the night, negating more yardage. Whoever the GM there is needs to just sit this kid on the bench. He’s not only terrible when thrown the ball, he’s a detriment to others when they actually do something good. There I’m done. Oh and he has to be the worst WR drafted in the top 10 in a long while. *Spits*…Ok, NOW I’m done.
Reggie Wayne – No score but still his steady ‘ole self with his 8 catches on 11 targets to go with 96 yards. He’s on pace for 122 receptions. Basically he’s been Wes Welker this year minus a bajillion rounds in terms of price. Congrats to those who got him because I definitely wasn’t one of ya. Nope, I was smart and drafted Danny Amendola for even cheaper, then saw him get hurt. Then I dropped him and saw him come back sooner than I expected him to. Moon, could you get me a drink or three? Or perhaps an oven door to stick my head in? Thanks, honey, I don’t care what they say about your acting skills, you’re tops with me.
Blaine Gabbert/Chad Henne – I’m not gonna defend Gabbert but I will start off by saying he didn’t look that bad. I mean, he was accurate with most of his throws and didn’t usually put his team in a bad spot, minus the pick-6. That WAS a pretty bad throw but he finished the night with less TOs than Luck so that’s good, right? Yeah, no one owns him so no one cares. Ok, Jags ownership cares right? But they grabbed Henne as his backup so they don’t really care either, do they? I’ve started a petition to have Blaine’s full name changed to ‘Bland Garbage’. I hope you all sign. Don’t know how this tandem produced two fantasy-relevant WRs on the night but I’m thankful because I had them.
Rashad Jennings – The buzz before the game was Maurice Jones-Drew proclaiming he was two weeks away from playing again. The buzz in the game never happened for any Jags RB as Rashad finished the night with 27 rushing yards and 0 catches. I know, I thought Shonn Greene had been traded to the Jags and I somehow missed it too. Since taking over for the Oompa-Loompa, here’s Rashad’s fantasy output by week in a PPR league: 13.7, 13.5, 6.7, 2.7. If you’re a masochist, I can give you even more bad news: this was against a team that gives up the 6th most fantasy points to opposing running backs coming into the game. It’s not his fault everyone has touted him ever since MJD’s initial holdout but I still have to say: Jagman, Jagman…ha, ha Rashad you are. That last link is like 11 minutes of 70’s space rock. You only need to hear about the first minute to get the joke though. If you stay around longer, I’ll just remind you they legalized marijuana in the state of Washington but I’m sure you already knew.
