ganope

Granted, there isn’t a rich history to draw from in terms of “quality football” on Thursdays, but you have to think that this being an actual Sunday Night production, coupled with the fact that we actually haven’t had a real game in what feels like decades, I’m pretty sure I would have been enamored if it was the Vikings playing against the Titans (which we’ll actually receive this Sunday! Wooo?). That being said, the game was actually pretty good on the scale of Graham Gano to those muscles in your arm that benefit the most if you’re throwing a penalty flag. (I mean, there were so many flags this game, it felt more like a United Nations summit, amirite?) Both teams looked sluggish throughout though, which was probably to be expected in the first game of the season. The Broncos and Panthers burned a lot of timeouts too, each for their own derpy reasons. For Denver, they seemingly forgot to count and had multiple downs where 12 men were on the field. For Carolina, five total timeouts from both halves were wasted because of terrible clock management by Newton (though I’m pretty sure Jerry Richardson was only upset with three-fifths of them). In fact, Andy Reid probably uploaded all these timeouts to his PornHUB account. That being said, I have to add that I found myself pretty frustrated with the continued non-calls on what were some brutal hits to Cam Newton. There were at least three blatant roughing the passer calls that were missed (or ignored?), and the last hit, late in the fourth quarter that actually drew a flag (you can see it after the jump), which was a helmet spear of all things, was offset by an intentional grounding. Oh, okay then, that makes sense. But the game was close throughout and quite entertaining, and due to the fact that Trevor Siemian flirted between the lines of profoundly mediocre and downright awful, the Panthers had a chance with seven seconds to win the game with a 44-yard field goal attempt in altitude… so yeah, we know how that turned out. Congrats to your 0-1 undefeated Panthers! Wait a second…

C.J. Anderson20 CAR, 92 YDS, 4.6 AVG, 1 TD and 4 REC, 47 YDS, 11.8 AVG, 1 TD. How dare you Anderson, vulturing those touchdowns away from your generic white fullback. SHAME.

Ted Ginn Jr.1 REC, 5 YDS, 5.0 AVG and 1 CAR, 20 YDS, 20.0 AVG. Look, Ginn is pretty good when you don’t have to throw the ball to him…

Kelvin Benjamin6 REC, 91 YDS, 15.2 AVG, 1 TD. All about the Benjamins! I am the master of timely references! And yes, in retrospect, my ranking was very conservative (40 in Standard and 41 in PPR), and while it sometimes helps you guys and gals for me to be aggressive with such things, I just didn’t feel confidant enough. That’s my olive branch to everyone out there who left him on the bench (like myself). Or we can even call it olive oil if you, are in fact, a fan of Mediterranean food.

Andy Janovich1 CAR, 28 YDS, 28.0 AVG, 1 TD. That had to be the whitest 30-yard touchdown run ever, and it helped absolutely no one.

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Cam Newton18/33, 194 YDS, 5.9 AVG, 1 TD, 1 INT, 69.5 RTG and 11 CAR, 54 YDS, 4.9 AVG, 1 TD. “Uh, yes occifer? I’d like yum fries, a large-to-medium cheese pizza, and a diet fruit. My address? Man, f*ck if I know. I’m Ca…Kat…Cam…f*cking… hey, honey, what’s my last name again? Right, Newton. Occifer, I’m Fig f*cking Newton. You know what’s up.” And by the way, I’m just going to assume that he’s having this conversation not with an actual police officer, but with a coat rack. And despite all the brain damage, did anyone catch him flossing his teeth during the third quarter? My instinctive reaction is to defend him, but let’s be honest, flossing on the sidelines is pretty odd. I mean, why can’t he do normal things while the defense is on the field? Like taxes?

Greg Olsen7 REC, 73 YDS, 10.4 AVG. Hey Bears fans, remember when Mike Martz thought that the offense didn’t need a tight end who could catch the ball so he traded Olsen away? Because I’m not reminded about that every time he catches the ball.

Jonathan Stewart15 CAR, 64 YDS, 4.3 AVG. If Newton actually survives this season, I’m pretty sure he’s going to vulture all of Stewart’s touchdowns this year… JUST A FEELING GUYS. Granted, he still looked pretty good last night despite their overall offensive issues and I’m still an advocate… but I’m a little worried. I mean, you trust the Panthers’ run game now, but you just wait until they replace Jonathan Stewart with Trevor Noah and tell me how you feel.

Trevor Siemian18/26, 178 YDS, 6.8 AVG, 1 TD, 2 INT, 69.1 RTG and 5 CAR, 20 YDS, 4.0 AVG. Is it just me or does he look like Nick Sobotka‘s character from The Wire? Now, I’m sure there are some out there in Colorado that weren’t too excited that Siemian was named the starter, especially last night when he pretty much threw six interceptions with four ending up as lucky drops. But look, first, he spent all of last season under the tutelage of Peyton Manning. (Though, part of me doesn’t really believe this because I didn’t hear him shout “OMAHA!” the entire game.) Second, it was either going to be him or this guy. And lastly, would you rather watch Paxton Lynch or Trevor Siemian go out and throw six interceptions over and over again? Okay, actually, as a Chargers fan, I’m good with either of those options. I’ll just say that I’m shocked at the fact that Kubiak can make a dump-off quarterback out of anyone. SHOCKED! And oh, before I move on, I want to take note that the Panthers just lost to Northwestern’s second best quarterback in 2014. Think about that for a second. Let it breathe for a while…

Mike Tolbert2 CAR, 6 YDS, 3.0 AVG and 1 REC, 1 YDS, 1.0 AVG. Tub of Goo sighting!

 

Final Note

Dear Panthers fans, I’ve included some instructions on how to deal with last nights game. Due to the difficulty level and overall complexity, please pay special attention to them. God bless.

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  1. For an Armenianless Vacation Come to Akron says:
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    2 QB PPR 12 team dynasty. 2 flexes.
    QB rodgers/rodfather/osweiler/gabbert
    RB (start 2) ingram/forte/ivory/mathews/woodhead/forsett
    WR (start 3) d-jax/edelman/jordy/allen/treadwell
    TE (start 1) j.thomas/ertz
    drop forsett for any of: stills/mckinnon? probably too early to punt him yet though, might be best off having his roster spot be the stream spot for weeks 6-10 when i’ll have exactly one each of my really good IDP’s (we start 4) or CAR D off.

  2. Mike says:
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    I know it’s week 1 and I probably shouldn’t get alarmed, but do you start to worr a little about D. Thomas in the Denver offense? He’s only as good as his QB, who looked like poop. I’ve got Hurns, Wheaton and K. White on my bench. Would you look to one of those three or ride it out with thomas for a few weeks?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mike: It’s okay to be alarmed… just don’t act on it yet. I’m not too worried, but Semian did not look good last night. Still, let’s wait a few more weeks and reassess then.

      • Alcesto says:
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        I don’t know. For a guy’s first start against a tough defense I thought he looked pretty good. Obviously a couple bad decisions, but some nice throws and a 70% completion percentage. And he only split time at NW because of an injury and a horrendous OC. He’s unlikely to be a high volume passer in the Kubiak offense and with a top flight defense, but I expect DT will put up serviceable WR2 numbers.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Alcesto: Fair enough, but he had more than a couple bad decisions and a majority of his reads were a bit slow. I’m more than willing to admit that this was a tough matchup for him and I think he can do okay, I even said that I wasn’t too worried. Everything else, including the NW reference was a joke.

  3. Packers says:
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    1/2 pt. PPR. Need 2 of Hiill, Gordon or Ware. I’m thinking the last two.

    Are you going to have a weekly rankings like last year?

    Thanks for all your efforts.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Jay: And my mistake, I’d actually do Gordon and Ware because of the half-PPR.

  4. P says:
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    10-team, standard. I benched Anderson and started R Mathews, D Johnson, and K Allen at my flex….how big of a potential mistake was this, considering Anderson’s game last night?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @P: Well, we won’t know until Monday, but I’m still okay with it. Not everyone fully trusted CJ against that Carolina front seven. I could see both Johnson and Allen have huge days, with Mathews coming close to what CJ did. Let’s wait and see here.

      • P says:
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        @Jay: thank you sir, as always!

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @P: Thanks for stopping by!

  5. STL says:
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    Which two do you start in PPR this week?

    Gio Bernard @ NYJ
    Charles Sims @ ATL
    Arian Foster @ SEA
    Rashad Jennings @ DAL

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @STL: Leaning Foster and Benard here.

  6. DILinator says:
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    Death, taxes, and Jay throwing plenty of shade at my (World Champion) Broncos! Don’t ever change, I like things predictable when it comes to Fantasy Football! ;)

    I think your assessment of Trevor Siemian is “profoundly mediocre”, and while I wouldn’t be recommending him for any fantasy teams quite yet, there was a ton that he did last night that looked good, and poised, and frankly, he proved that he can QB this team to at least the level of play they had last year (OK, that’s not saying much, but they DID win the SB in spite of it, so…). Sure, there we a few hiccups, and those (should be outlawed as Peyton said) tipped passes. But honestly, I think as he gets more comfortable (and plays lesser defenses than the Panthers), he’s actually going to get better and better, and transcend the putrid play they received from the position last year. Heck, I wouldn’t surprised if his second half of the season is better than what the Texans get from their truly profoundly mediocre 16 million dollar man! But enough about profound mediocrity…

    I’ve been on an island this year in believing in a huge bounce back season for Kelvin Benjamin, and while it IS only one game, it was against a strong pass defense, and Cam really appeared locked into him. Plus, that size advantage is just huge! Honestly, avoiding a re-injury is probably the main thing to be concerned about with him, as I believe the plays will be there for him all year.

    At any rate, thanks for all your humorous recaps (even when you slight the Broncos), as they are something I look forward to each week after the games! Keep up the good work! (And GO BRONCOS!!!)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @DILinator: Haha, well, I try to be pretty fair when I’m laying down my hyperbole. Trust me, the Chargers will get theirs… and yes, I agree with you on Siemian. There were flashes of adequacy, I’ll definitely give you that. He is all floor and no ceiling, so we’ll have to see how the system takes advantage of that. I alluded to that jokingly with Kubiak, but he has been able to work with much less before.

      And again, I agree on Benjamin, having him back is huge, and I think I commented in last nights live thread that he didn’t even look 100%, which is a scary thought.

      Thanks for reading! (Even though you’re a Broncos fan… we’ll allow that.)

  7. Jason Morgan says:
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    Are you adding Marshawn Lynch anywhere?

    Would you drop any of Tajae Sharp, James White, Diggs for him?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jason Morgan: Sure, I mean, why not? It’s Lynch! Out of those guys, probably over Sharp… I mean, honestly, it’s a team-by-team basis. I’m personally holding onto something more useful in some leagues, but as I’ve always been a huge fan, I’d likely be happy dropping any bench piece for him as well. Gut call, honestly.

  8. Citizen5 says:
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    I was offered Elliott for OBJ. My current RBs are Ingram, McCoy and Matthews. My WR consist of OBJ, Floyd, T Benjamin, D Jackson, Marvin Jones and Gordon (S). Great write up. Thanks in advance.

    • William Hung says:
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      @Citizen5: Unless you are a Cowboys fan, I wouldn’t do that trade

    • Scott says:
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      @Citizen5: Not even in Standard scoring.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Citizen5: Yeah, I’m a fan of Elliot, but I would not do that trade.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Citizen5: And thanks by the way!

  9. William Hung says:
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    How long do I wait into the season for Tyler Boyd and Corey Coleman before I jump on the Marshawn 2016 bandwagon, assuming nobody picks him up before me?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @William Hung: I think you should pounce now… I’ve noticed that if you want him, people are picking him up now.

  10. Scott says:
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    In all fairness, everyone was iffy on KayBee so we took a wait and see attitude. Well, now we see. Looks good so far…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Yeah, I only mentioned it in my blurb because a part of me, a small part, wanted to be contrarian and really be aggressive. Like, around the 20s… but sometimes I err on the side of caution. But I loved what I saw last night, and he didn’t even seem 100%. Kinda scary.

  11. a bag of sand says:
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    Pls rank to stash/bench in a 14T non ppr:
    Darkwa
    T West
    Sproles
    T Riddick
    R. Matthews

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @a bag of sand: Is that Rishard? I’d go West, Matthews, Sproles, Riddick and Darkwa probably.

  12. Lion's Roar says:
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    Good Afternoon Jay!

    14 team, full pt ppr. Pick 2 WR and 1 FLEX:

    Shepard
    C. Coleman
    Wheaton
    Riddick
    Sproles
    Kelley (this seems like a stretch, but wanted to get your thoughts)

    Thank you!!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      What’s up! I’d go Shepard, Wheaton, and Riddick. And I like Kelley in deep formats, but a definite stretch this week.

  13. Brian says:
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    in the middle of my offline draft. dynasty league uses 1/2 PPR with 2 qbs. 10 teams, 24 players. my roster so far is qbs-cam, big ben, tyrod, rbs-gurley, arian, demarco, latavius, ryan mathews, wrs-moncrief, cobb, fitz, josh gordon, vjax, martavis, dgb, kevin white.

    6 spots away from my pick. can you give me top 6 from corey coleman, tajae, will fuller, doctson, d. booker, jordan howard, paxton, goff, dak, perriman, ware, cmike, pryor, charles sims, dorsett, crowell, mckinnon, tevin coleman?

    thanks.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Brian: I would say, based on who you have so far, I’d rank it Sharp, Coleman, Fuller, Goff, Doctson, Sims.

      • Brian says:
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        @Jay: Thanks. Tevin or corey coleman?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          Coleman for upside, Tevin if you have Freeman or need someone who might have marginal impact this year.

          • Brian says:
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            @Jay: thanks a lot jay. one last question. different dynasty league. full ppr. 16 team, 20 players. pretty barren FA pool. looking for upside with the my final roster spot. would you drop seth roberts for jared abbrederis, janis, or chris conley?

  14. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Better stash, Marshawn or Dion Lewis? 0.5ppr

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: Lewis. Though, the Lynch one is intriguing, but probably more of a pipe dream.

  15. William Hung says:
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    I’m hearing a lot of negativity on Danny Woodhead v. the Chiefs – do you think they’ll continue to stop him on Sunday, or does he have a good shot at putting some some decent PPR points? I’m debating on whether to start him over Arian Foster. Gio Bernard and Matt Jones are locked into my other RB spots

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @William Hung: I think Woodhead would be fine here. For what it’s worth, I’m looking at my rankings, I have Jones behind all three of those names, just fyi.

      • William Hung says:
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        @Jay: yeah just read Ajayi is sitting at home week 1 so Foster is going to get all the volume he can handle before his leg falls off. Guessing I’ll roll Foster, Bernard, and Woodhead

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @William Hung: Yeah, rankings are updated with that news now as well.

  16. Zandy says:
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    Well Andy Reid just bluffed me into picking up Charcandrick…..

    Are you nervous about Ware for the weekend? Rather flex Blount in presumably a run heavy approach with Jeanane Garofalo at QB

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zandy: Not nervous yet. I’ll be updating my rankings tomorrow morning, I’ll reassess then… but I think Ware is going to share with West, but the extent of it shouldn’t be crazy.

  17. In the weeds says:
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    Jay,

    12 team standard league

    Who to Flex?

    Willie Snead
    Eric Decker
    Abdullah

  18. Mooch says:
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    Dude – I benched Benjamin last night coz I’m a fool. PPR league who is better flex pick?
    I have Marvin Jones and Frank Gore as candidates.

    • Mooch says:
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      @Mooch:
      I’m leaning Jones given ceiling, colts secondary suck, and cud well be mega shootout.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mooch: WE ARE ALL FOOLS. And I’m with you, I think Jones there.

  19. goodfold2 says:
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    if i was in the NFL i’d find funny weird shit to do while off the field as a QB, like
    – jacks
    – learn to yo yo
    – i would say taxes but the time of year isn’t right
    – play chess with a janitor (since per dilbert they are the smartest people)
    – play russian roulette with my agent to prove i’m serious about getting 5% back
    – jump rope
    – that thing the cyborg did with the knife in Aliens on a table, it’d be timed, and i’d compete with the other people on roster that need their hands (4th string and later WR’s, holder for kicks)
    – the festivus feats of strength
    and many others

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @goodfold2: and he does look like nick sobotka, he should get a pet duck.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: I would totally yo-yo. Chess maybe with the backup quarterback? Haha, good stuff.

  20. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Jay! DeMarco, Jennings or Ware full point ppr? Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jerry: Ware here.

  21. the imp says:
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    Shallow 12 team PPR with about 50 WRs owned
    I couldn’t have Hilton/Edelmen/Matthews/Crabtree/Coleman
    DJax has been dropped who I ranked higher, yet my group of WRs lacks WR1 sizzle.
    Would you drop Coleman for surer DJax or stick with Coleman on the low chance I’ve caught lightening in a bottle?
    Thanks for the advice.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @the imp: Hmm, I do have them ranked close, so I might just hold on Coleman for the ceiling here.

  22. POINS POINTS POINTS says:
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    In a 12 team 1 pt ppr yardage n scoring league. at the super flex position who would you start.. tannehill, tj yeldon, r jennings, v jax or marvin jones. it’s 4 pts for a passing td and 6 pts for a rec. or rushing td btw. thx for the help !

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Jay: WOW, tannehill ain’t gonna like that he’s the first QB to NOT be the answer against a RB of that low a level on the RB chain in a 2 QB.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @goodfold2: Yeah, I was noticing in my 2QB rankings that they are really close, was actually surprised that Jennings had the over here.

  23. Magic says:
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    Jay – TE outlook
    Have Walford, Clay but start to feel the love for McDonald.
    Would you drop Clay for him? Rest of season.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Magic: Probably not. Let’s see how the 49ers offense does on Sunday and we can reassess, but right now, I like Clay a bit more.

  24. Yr never too old for balloons says:
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    for week 1:
    1. if ivory is out does yeldon move ahead of langford? PPR
    2. how limited would ebron have to be to play the train robber ahead of him (j.james)? PPR
    3. would yeldon move ahead of crabtree (or l.murray) if ivory was out? PPR

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Yr never too old for balloons: Naw, I’d still go Langford there. It’d be close on James, I’d wait until my Sunday rankings update, but in my Saturday update, they are close right now. And no on Yeldon, I think he’s too far away to make up that ground.

  25. ryanoger says:
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    .5 ppr league

    Would you roll Landry @ Seattle or Fitz home against NE at my FLEX?

    thanks jay!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @ryanoger: maaaan, give me an easy one. That’s a total coinflip, haha. Ugh, I think you go Fitz here, but it’s like two spots in my rankings…

Comments are closed.