If you read the title to this post and said to yourself, “Who the heck is Mitchell Friedman”, then I have done my job in selecting a title.

Inspired by perhaps the best sports movie ever, the “Who Are These Guys” series looks back at the previous week and compiles a starting lineup of players that would have your league mates mocking you and your opponent licking his chops as he foolishly commits the bitter offense of counting his chickens before they’ve hatched. While the players selected each week are based entirely on hindsight, the purpose is to show you that every week it is possible to create a lineup that does not contain a single stud, yet said lineup would trample one containing only studs. Duds over studs. Bros before hoes. That’s how it goes…

The precise scene from the movie that gave birth to this series can be enjoyed here: Who Are These F’n Guys

Now the real trick would be coming up with this list a week ahead of time, but if I did that I’m not sure I’d have the time to be here writing about it. Instead I would be collecting giant weekly checks from DraftKings, Fan Duel and any other site that allowed me to pad my bank account. I’d certainly throw you all a bone from time to time, but until I figure out how to do so, we are going to have to stick with the current format.

QB: Ryan Tannehill (279 points, 145 ADP)
RB: Justin Forsett (245 points, undrafted)
RB: Jeremy Hill (211 points, 128 ADP)
WR: Steve Smith (220 points, 149 ADP)
WR: Golden Tate (259 points, 91 ADP)
TE: Martellus Bennett (218 points, 119 ADP)
FL: Emmanuel Sanders (300 points, 72 ADP)

The above lineup doesn’t have one player that was drafted earlier than the 6th round (Sanders), yet it is strong to likely beat just about any lineup one of your opponents would have sent your way. I realize that looking at this lineup, a year later, it doesn’t seem like such a shocking list of players, but try and go back in time to week two and imagine it then.

Now imagine this. Let’s say you actually drafted the players above. Not only did you draft a team that would have taken you to the playoffs, but you would have done so without selecting a player in the first five rounds. You know what that means? You’re an idiot for skipping the first five rounds. That’s not what I was getting at, but would be true if you actually snoozed and missed the first five rounds. What I was getting at is that in addition to the players listed above, you would also have your first five rounds to free to draft any players you wanted. Looking at last season’s first five rounds, how do these five “backup” players sound.

Round 1: Matt Forte (343 points, 8 ADP)
Round 2: Jordy Nelson (328 points, 24 ADP)
Round 3: Andrew Luck (352 points, 35 ADP)
Round 4: Julian Edelman (223 points, 64 ADP)
Round 5: Joique Bell (198 points, 72 ADP)

Combine these five players with the other five and you have an unbeatable team.

So sit back, relax, have a few beers and get ready for some unexpected names. And remember, never judge a book by its cover…

On a tangential note, I am looking to start another fantasy football league and thought I’d invite some of you readers. If you are reading this, you are invited. It will be a 10-team, 1-point PPR league with an auction draft on ESPN. The buy-in is $50. Top four teams make the playoffs. Playoffs are two week matchups. Payouts will be: $50 to the team that ends the regular season in first place. $50 to the team that ends the regular season with the most points. $100 to the team that loses in the finals. $400 to the team that wins the finals. Auction draft will be Thursday (9/10) night at 9pm EST. If you are interested leave a comment below or shoot me an email here!



You can follow malamoney on Twitter.

  1. fortheworld says:

    would you deal james jones or pierre garcon for DMC?

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @fortheworld: Probably not…

  2. Ron says:

    Which side you like in a 10-team 1.0 PPR league with 2 points for every 10 rushing attempts?

    Side A: Bell and Maclin
    Side B: Gore and Julio


    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Ron: That’s a tough one. If Gore can stay healthy I am taking Gore and Jones…

  3. LittleJoeyCora says:

    hahaha! Man I LOVE the Major League references! Thanks for the great article!
    This guys here is DEAD!

  4. Jammer McSlam says:

    Just drafted my 1 and only league last night. How are we stacking up in a 12 team .5ppr league?

    QB: Big Ben
    RB: Justin Forsett
    RB: Latavius Murray
    WR: Randall Cobb
    WR: Alshon Jeffrey
    TE: Dwayne Allen
    FLEX: TY Hilton
    D: Texans
    K: Gostkowski

    BN: Davante Adams
    BN: Joseph Randle
    BN: TJ Yeldon
    BN: LeGarrette Blount
    BN: Allen Robinson
    BN: Shane Vereen
    BN: Marques Colston

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Jammer McSlam: Looks pretty good. Who was your first round pick? Or was this an auction?

      • Jammer McSlam says:


        It was a keeper league where I had no keepers, but did have extra early draft picks. Cobb was my 1st pick then Forsett and Murray.

          • Jammer McSlam says:


            No keepers – the way the rules were if you kept a guy it was your first round pick, 2 guys and its your 1st 2 rounds etc. So I didn’t keep anyone and traded some guys like Calvin Johnson last season to grab a few extra picks when I was out of it.

  5. Mike says:

    Standard league
    Flex for this week
    Abdullah, ryan Mathews, A Robinson , or charles Johnson

    • Chicken Dinner says:

      @Mike: Robinson

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Mike: Robinson, then Abdullah…

      • Jammer McSlam says:


        Davante Adams or Robinson?

        • malamoney

          malamoney says:

          @Jammer McSlam: Robinson, but it’s pretty much a coin toss…

  6. Dom B says:

    Should I add duke Johnson hear big things about him and who should I drop for him. Also can you rate my team any weak spots positions I should trade for

    My team is
    QB Tony Romo
    RB Leveon Bell
    RB Jonathan Stewart
    WR Julio Jones
    WR AJ Green
    TE Jason Witten
    Flex Latavius Murray
    DEF Bengals

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Dom B: You do not need to add Duke Johnson. Team looks good…

    • I don't want to brag, but i have irritable bowel syndrome says:

      @Dom B: i’d rather have a RB #5 over eli as QB #2, unless your league has utter trash for QB in free agency. Really that should be your stream spot for D/TE/kicker anyway, but till you need those i’d have more RB depth.

  7. friar says:

    I’m in a 10-team 0.5-ppr league, and trying to figure out which lottery tickets to stash on the end of my bench heading into Week 1. I start 2 RBs, 2 WRs, and a flex out of the following group:

    RB: Anderson, Ingram, Stewart, J. Bell, Abdullah, Freeman, Mason
    WR: Demaryius, VJax, Decker, Cruz

    Given the shallowness of the league, I’m not inherently worried about my short WR bench (there are plenty of options available on the wire), so I’m mostly concerned with making sure my bench spots are spent on guys most likely to become start-worthy (regardless of position). Would you recommend dropping any of the guys listed above for:

    Duke Johnson, David Johnson, Sproles, LaFell, Stills, Parker, B. Coleman

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @friar: Nope. I’d hold…

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