Wow, what an opening weekend! Fantasy football just got wilder then Richard Gere on a weekend getaway at a gerbil farm. Of course I’m not referring to the outcomes of the REAL football games, as there were not big time shockers there, other then RG3 leading “the Skins” over the Saints. I’m referring to the shockingly high amount of targets some players received, and the horrifying total targets a few other big names earned. And that is what I will be writing about weekly here on Razzball. So please partake in this weekly festivity with me as you will hopefully receive some added insight to help with future decisions. Playing and writing about fantasy football for a living is a hard job, but somebody has to do it. Let’s begin.

Reggie Wayne- 9 catches for 135 yards on 18 targets. EIGHTEEN! Would have been nice for us who owned Weezy last season to get anything resembling this for a two game stretch, let alone one game. Obviously Curtis Painter was one of the worst starting QB’s of all time so we can’t place to much of the blame on Wayne. But for a guy who was seemingly washed up, these are insanely impressive numbers. The Colts will be playing from behind more often then Peter North, meaning it’s almost a sure thing Wayne will continue to be targeted as often as Oprah is for fat jokes. Consider yourself lucky for grabbing this perversely talented veteran. Or maybe you knew all along. I, on the other hand, did not see this coming.

Wes Welker- 3 catches for 14 yards on 5 targets. This probably isn’t what Welker draftees were expecting from a man trying to secure a long term, huge money deal. Then again, maybe this is just the “Patriot way” taking effect. Maybe “the hoodie” is just phasing him out of the offense, as they look to part ways next offseason. Brandon Lloyd was brought in, and the two freakishly talented tight ends need the rock as well. This still doesn’t begin to explain why Julian Edelman was in the game for a bunch of snaps in his place. Do we have a Randy Moss type situation brewing? Did you draft Welker in the 2nd or 3rd round of your draft? Right after that did you put your life savings in Kodak stock? I truly hope not is my answer to all three questions. For your sake. This could get weird.

Alfred Morris28 carries for 96 yards and 2 touchdowns. Carries are obviously not receiving targets, but it’s basically the same thing and vital for setting your fantasy lineup so let’s not get technical. Morris is being picked up faster then Apple stock in fantasy leagues around the world. By the way, the stock was at 669.79 at the time this was written. Hold on a second. Ok, I’m back as I just hit myself in the nuts with a tack hammer for an hour for not buying more of this years ago. Moving on. The Redskins running back situation has been torturous for all fantasy owners since the red skinned coach, Mike Shanahan was hired, but maybe this is their guy.

May I ask where Roy Helu Jr. fits in, in this equation? He showed extreme talent last season and in my eyes, was by far their best option going forward. A guy I thought would play perfectly off of RG3, with his pass catching and big play ability. I’d go as far as calling him a poor man’s Marshall Faulk. Was that too much? Yea, it probably was. Anyway, Morris should be added in all formats and has a prime matchup this week against the Rams of Saint Louis. I would still be hesitant to start him, but maybe that’s just because I’m bitter I didn’t get him on waivers this week. Therein lies the problem with spanking the competition. Woe is me.

Lagarrette Blount- 3 carries for 8 yards. Boom goes the dynamite. This young man is officially fantasy irrelevant. It seems like the rookie, Doug Martin, as expected, is going to be carrying the load for the time being. Blount isn’t the kind of man to take a demotion like this in stride. He’s like Seal, after discovering his wife, Heidi Klum, was banging her security guard. He’s going to be defiant and loud the whole way through. But he’s forgotten one thing, and it’s an extremely huge thing. He hasn’t given hundreds of millions of fans eargasms, by serenading them with “Kiss From a Rose,” while being part of the greatest movie soundtrack ever made: Batman Forever. Nope, he’s just the jerk who knocked out that innocent little Boise State player, then signed as a free agent, only to end up out of the league 3 years later, dead broke. Was that harsh? On the other hand, Martin could underwhelm like Tom Arnold in the sack(allegedly), or get injured, and this roach clip could be sparked up again in no time, and inserted into the starting lineup and lead your team to the title. That sounds a little far fetched. Maybe just go with my original thoughts and just drop him. Shame on you Heidi! That’s a beautiful and talented man you cheated on. Kudos to Seal for not going quietly into that good night. Is this paragraph ever going to end………Yes.

Desean Jackson- 4 catches for 77 yards on 11 targets and 1 carry for 5 yards. Jackson was inexplicably ranked way down on many pre-draft lists and I for one, plan on reaping all the benefits. Yes, I get that he didn’t get in the zone, but Vick was off target on some throws, and Jackson was matched up with adderall loving Joe Haden, who is a very good corner(remains to be seen how good with out the use of meth aka adderall). Jackson was also given a carry and is still receiving punts, which depending on your league’s scoring set up, could be a huge bonus. His big play ability is matched by few, and now that he’s been paid, there’s no stopping this speedster. Maybe Vick should get out to the dog park and throw some smaller balls around. You know, really work on his pinpoint accuracy. The four picks was disheartening, mainly because I own him in the razzball writers league which you will be reading about weekly. Your better then this Michael.

Ray Rice- 10 carries for 68 yards for 2 tds and 3 receptions for 25 yards on 4 targets. Is it to0 much to ask, for the Ravens to run the ball when up 3 touchdowns in the late 3rd and entire 4th quarter? We get it. You guys can throw the ball now. Flacco has a great arm. Awesome! Just don’t forget about my favorite little running back, Ray Ray. He looked light on his feet, and darted through the defense with ease on what seemed like every carry. For many of us(ME), Rice only getting those 10 carries was the difference between a win and a loss. That’s just not the way you play with a large lead. So coach Harbaugh, if you’re reading this, which I’m sure you will, don’t forget to pound the rock a little bit. Cool? Thanks bud.

Dexter McCluster- 6 catches for 82 yards on 10 targets. I’m not saying to start this guy for this week or anything, but I’m advising you to pick him up and keep tabs on the situation. Maybe this is finally the year where the Chiefs get full use out of this dynamo. He’s one of the many weapons in the Chiefs arsenal and they need to get McCluster the rock in space and let the magic take place. That rhymed, and yes I meant it to. On the other hand, the quarterback of this team is Mathew Cassel, who is one of the worst QB’s in the league. Owning any of the Chief’s receivers is kind of similar to being a smoker in the Obama administration; You want to blaze up but have to pay those increased rates and taxes to do so. In other words, you want to start these off-the-charts talented Chiefs wideouts but you can’t because it will cost you dearly based on the ability of the man in charge of the show. This has to be Cassel’s last chance, right? I for one, can’t take it any longer. The guy is a backup. Move on. Fire Romeo while you’re at it. Now that was just mean and unnecessary, but hey, I meant it.

Dennis Pitta/Coby Fleener5 catches for 73 yards on 9 targets with 1 td and 6 catches for 82 yards on 10 targets. The Colts and Ravens seem intent on hurling the ball down the field early and often, so why not “reap the benefits?” Either of these fine young men make a splendid backup on your fantasy team and could even be thrown in as flex in an emergency situation. Fleener, in particular, is going to have an insane year. If he’s an available pick up. I give you my personal guarantee he scores a td this week. If he doesn’t I’ll let each and every one of my readers throw a dodgeball at my crotch. Buy now, laugh later.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this post as much I enjoyed throttling one of the other writers for razzball in our writers league. It’s been a real treat. I’ll be back.

  1. MackeySasser says:
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    14 team, PPR. Pick one for my flex: Boldin, McCluster, Morris.

    • @MackeySasser, I’d go Morris. Im not sold on that Rams defense quite yet

  2. quimmy says:
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    PPR League:

    My Morris and Torrey for His Caroline Steve Smith? What says you?

  3. LT Murray IV

    Tehol Beddict says:
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    Torrey is going to accomplish monumental things this year sir, but throwing in Morris to get a target you desire is a splendid idea

    • LT Murray IV

      Tehol Beddict says:
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      @Tehol Beddict, didn’t see the ppr league part. yea probably a must do as Smith is guaranteed major targets

  4. Ralph says:
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    Would you drop Kendall Wright for Dexter McCluster in a 12 team non-PPR league? Thanks.

    • @Ralph, I suppose Wright has some upside but I wan’t a huge fan of that draft pick. I guess both of the names you mentioned are basically the slot receivers and might offer similar final statistics. I think McCluster will be more consistent, though Wright could catch a few bombs. I don’t think I answered your question. I’d go McCluster though

  5. I suppose Wright has some upside but I wan’t a huge fan of that draft pick. I guess both of the names you mentioned are basically the slot receivers and might offer similar final statistics. I think McCluster will be more consistent, though Wright could catch a few bombs. I don’t think I answered your question. I’d go McCluster though

  6. frankelstache says:
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    Hi there. Thanks for the read!

    In a PPR league and debating between Alshon, James Jones or Anquan Boldin.
    Leaning toward Jones if jennings is out, Alshon if jennings is in. What do you think?

    Thanks!

    • @frankelstache, If Jennings is out, James Jones for sure. I’ve always been a fan. Go for it

  7. DiRo says:
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    Of the 3 which two would you start, K. Smith or Decker or Wallace in a standard head to head league?

    • @DiRo, I’m a receiver guy although Wallace has tough matchup against Jets DB’s. I don’t trust the Lions run game, so I’d hope for a long Wallace td and Decker should have nice bounce back

  8. frankelstache says:
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    Also, on a different note, i’m being offered a trade – give away cutler and MJD, get Rodgers and Doug Martin. I’m leaning yes (my other RBs are CJ1K and Law Firm).

    thoughts?

    • @frankelstache, I’d pull the trigger on that trade no question. Rodgers is too good of a get no to do it and Martin looks like solid option and ur other RB’s look solid

      • frankelstache says:
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        @Tehol Beddict, Thanks! (and thanks for the other advice on top, too).

  9. Murph says:
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    Have an extra slot on my roster and want to use it to pick up a backup TE which would you choose as a guy that would have the most potential long term? Im questioning my current TE Jared Cook’s ability to put up points. Standard Non PPR

    Marcedes Lewis
    M Bennett
    C Fleener
    K Rudolf
    H Miller
    K Rudolf
    J Gresham
    B Celek
    C Harbor
    S Chander
    O Daniels

    • @Murph, I’m big on Fleener and Bennett. Also like Cook, but dont know if he can do big things in that offense

      • Murph says:
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        @Tehol Beddict,

        Im thinking the same with bennett but unsure about an unproven rookie in fleener, looks like the colts are preety confident donald brown can punch it in when they get in the redzone.
        Any thoughts on marcedes lewis? I know he burned everyone last year and has an awful qb in gabbart but didn’t week one raise his value slightly? Is there a chance he returns to his 2010 season as a top 10 TE? Might be worth holding…

        • @Murph, Gabbert looked much better in week then last season obviously, but I’m not sold. Fleener will get a ton of targets and has some big play ability. Lewis could be a nice safety net for Gabbert and a nice red zone taggert but I don’t see big upside

  10. Tim says:
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    if Maclin doesnt play…do i start Lance Moore,J Dwyer,A Hawkins,or Mccluster at flex this week?
    Standard league

    • @Tim, I believe Lance Moore is your best shot at a score. WHo dat

  11. bobbo says:
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    Kind of like the potential Alshon Jeffrey has in the new CHI offense. Would you consider dropping Nate Washington or Fred Davis (own Pettigrew) for him in a PPR league with bonus at 100yds?

    • @bobbo, It seems like Marshall will be receiving the Lions share(or shall I say Bears share) of the targets so not sure if ALshon good for ppr, though it will interesting watching his progress tonight. I’m a big Davis fan but in week one he was underwhelming. This is a very tough call but if you have Pettigrew anyway, it may be worth a shot.

  12. D Rich says:
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    Sir Alfred!! I hope he keeps it up, although i doubit it because the Shannahan’s are retarded. I guess i got lucky because i droped Felix Jones for him. Honestly speaking is there more of a loser than Felix Jones? Talk about irrelevant.

    • @D Rich, I think this will be Felix’s last season with Cowboys. The guy has been a disgrace. Even when starting Jones is useless. Glad You jumped off that plane my friend. Keep coming back

  13. Quaker says:
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    Can’t decide who to start at TE non-ppr yahoo 10 team: Brandon Pettigrew, Greg Olsen, or Jason Witten? Any advice?

    • @Quaker, I was very high on Olsen going into the season but the Panthers underwhelmed as a whole last week. I was shocked Witten played last week and if he was at full strength I would play him every week. Pettigrew could be a nice target this week against an attacking 49ers defense. I believe Olsen gets a td this week.

      1. Olsen
      2. Pettigrew
      3. Witten

  14. DP says:
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    Forte owner here. Should I drop Rashad Jennings for Mccluster as a potential wk 5 play against Balt? Only RB on WW that gets playing time and I have two RB on bye that week. Also have Morris but who knows how that will play out.

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      I could see dropping Jennings for McCluster. Don’t see Jennings having much playing time with MJD healthy/playing.

    • @DP, Hopefully Morris continues pounding holes for ur sake and yes probably a safe drop, though I’m holding onto Jennings in one league strictly based on past performances and injuries from others who have held out. But that’s also because I’m extremely thin at running back in that particular league. Jennings is also banged up right now so not a hard choice to drop. Did I need to write all that just to give u that one sentence answer?

  15. Andrew says:
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    I am in a 14 team non-ppr standard league. This week, I can’t decide who to put in my flex (WR/RB) Vincent Jackson @NYG, or Mcgahee @Atlanta. I think VJax is going to get more points, but I want to start Mcgahee (im worried that’s only because he plays a Monday night game).

    Also should I trade away Mcgahee for Decker? Here is my team:

    QB: C. Newton
    RB: F. Gore
    RB: Alfred Morris
    WR: Andre Johnson
    WR: Brandon Marshall
    Flex (WR/RB): Vincent Jackson
    TE: Fred Davis
    K: N. Kaeding
    DEF: HOUSTON

    BN: Issac Redman
    BN: Rashard Mendenhall
    BN: Kendall Hunter
    BN: Willis Mcgahee
    BN: David Wilson
    BN: Owen Daniels

    • @Andrew, I wouldnt trade Mcgahee as you are set at receiver and thin at running back. I’d prob go Willis over Jackson too although the giants corner situation is a mess so if you want the riskier high upside go there. Both should have decent games

  16. Grammar says:
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    “YOUR better THEN this Michael.”

    (sigh)…

    • Sky

      Sky says:
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      You’ve just been hired as the editor. I see you work for free, that’s just up our alley!

    • @Grammar, It still shocks me when I see comments like this. Like, that’s what you take out of the whole post? So myself and the editor made an error. You waste your time time with this, not to mention my precious time with this annoyance??? I’m sweating like Smokey in the chicken coop loosing my life savings on college football bets, and you come with this? wrong time my friend. Find something else to do. try crossword puzzles

  17. This guy knows whats up!

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