Welcome back, boys and girls, ex-cons and degenerates, to another edition of Hit it or Quit it, with yours truly. I know you have all missed me over this off-season, probably more than I missed most of you, but that was because I was too busy filling my dungeon with man souls to feast on for the 2015 NFL season. As you probably have already witnessed, my Black Widow Curse is still very much alive and back with a vengeance. This season it seems to want to feast on hammies and ACLs, which has made for some very interesting Fantasy Football drafts was well. With most of the first-rounders taken out by my curse (no one crosses me), join me now as we begin to venture into the outer limits of this season with Hit it or Quit it, Week 1…

Dion Lewis, RB, New England – Only 7% owned in most leagues, you are probably wondering why I am suggesting Lewis. Well, for starters, Lewis is probably the most effective back on the Pats offense right now and he will more than likely be the lead third down back and has made pretty good use of his preseason playing time so far. With 80 total yards and two touchdowns in two preseason games, you could do a lot worse, especially with the state of affairs with the running back situation being as pathetic as it is. I know it is only week one and we have a long way to go, but until our rosters are healthy again, you need to act like its 2 AM and the lights just came on in the bar. Take what you can get. Hit it.

Jameis Winston, QB, Tampa Bay – Currently dealing with a sprained ankle is the least of Jameis Winston’s problems. In three preseason games, he was 23 for 47 for 311 yards, has yet to see a touchdown, but made sure he was intercepted twice. Supporters say is was because he was without Mike Evans (thanks to my Black Widow Curse) and an offensive line that was uglier than a Las Vegas crack whore, but we all know the real reason…crab leg withdrawals. Ok, maybe not the last part, but definitely the first two. There is no doubt that Winston earned is draft pick status, but as Johnny Football learned, the NFL is a loooooooooong way from college. Rookie QB’s are probably the worst hookups a fantasy drafter could ever make and the fact that Winston is only 32% owned in most leagues, it shows that there are some people out there with enough common sense to avoid him like a street walker with Herpes, but that also means that some people did not. Do yourself the favor and save yourself from having to get that embarrassing Valtrex prescription and stay away. Quit it.

Tyler Lockett, WR, Seattle – Look, I could add some backhanded joke here about the Seahawks being a “passing” rather than a running team here, but I am above that… or am I? Who knows, but what I do know is that you are a fool if you do not see Lockett for what he is, a potential highlight reel. Sure, there is the potential that Seattle will remain a heavy run team (I think they learned their lesson on passing last Super Bowl) and sure, he is a rookie, but even first timers know how to use their hands (wink, wink). Lockett is heading into the NFL from Kansas State where he created a 106-catch, 1515 yard resume. I know how you all feel about getting involved with someone who is inexperienced, but you may be surprised at what he may be able to do for you. You never know unless you try. Come on, don’t be afraid to get a piece of this. At only 14% owned in most leagues, you know you want to Hit it.

Dorial Green-Beckham, WR, Tennessee – The NFL does not seem to be thin with hyphenated-Beckham players. But for those of you who have just climbed out of your caves, no, this is not the giant piece of man flesh, famous for his ability to be phenomenal with his hands, but this one is kinda close… I said kinda. Sure, he isn’t the most seasoned receiver and he is sort of rough around the edges, but he does have something which is pretty rare (and pretty important to women)… size and speed. DGB is a heaping 6’5”, 230+lbs of raw man meat who will more than likely be tearing up your red zones (better run out to Costco and stock up on that lube now). Look, the preseason for me is a complete joke, but DGB managed to pull out some favorable reviews for his seven catches for 93 yard performance, and with Hakeen Nicks getting his walking papers (it’s not me, it’s you, Hakeem) DGB is now free to slide on in for snaps-plenty. At only 23% owned in most leagues, open on up and let DBG on in. Go on and Hit it.

Heath Miller, TE, Pittsburgh – Of course all of Pittsburgh is expecting Heath Miller to have a huge season, they always do… and he never really does. My Black Widow Curse has really developed a liking to Tight Ends and seems to want to feast on them more than anything. That being said, the pickin’s are slimmer than finding a non-virgin at a Star Trek convention. Being from Pittsburgh, I know more than anyone how delusional Yinzers can be when it comes to their team. Hell, I saw a guy walking around downtown last week wearing a Bubby Brister jersey… I kid you not. Heath Miller is no exception. I managed to be forced to pick him up last year when my curse wiped out my Tight Ends, and aside from the two games where he managed to put up double-digit points for me, he only saw about seven targets in six games. A real sleeper. Sure, he has potential to be an option in PPR leagues, but he has little to no upside. Take it from someone who has been there, you don’t want any of this. He just lays there. Quit it.

Duke Johnson, Jr., RB, Cleveland – Most of you, my loyal horde, know that I like my men lean, mean, and… concussed? Yeah, men are always more pliable when they are not able to function cognitively (Roethlisberger took a similar approach to some co-eds in the past… allegedly… allegedly), and they are easy pickin’s across the board as the fantasy unaware jerk their knees in massive tandem. Sure, he is not able to perform for you right now, but that should not stop you from seeing all of the wonderful majesty that he may be able to offer you later on. Also, don’t let the fact that he is in Cleveland dissuade you either. What do I see in this guy? I am glad you asked! For one, the Browns just basically prostituted Terrence West away which opens the door for Johnson. Need more convincing? Okay, here goes: He was a productive back at Miami, roping in a decent 1652 rushing yards with an average of 6.8 yards per carry and right now, it is just him and Isaiah Crowell in the backfield, so a double-team could be in your near future. Look, the choice is ultimately yours, but if you want some easy points with what is considered to be a full workload, get off your high horse and Hit it.

 

 

Well, there you have it my horde. The first edition of Hit it or Quit for the 2015 season is in the books. Remember to follow me, your ever faithful and ever so glamourous Fantasy Football Goddess, on Twitter @Soxfan012, and until we meet next week, remember, offerings to the Black Widow Curse are highly recommended!

  1. Kendrick Llama says:
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    Would you add Lockett or DGB and drop Andre williams even if you had Rashad Jennings (as backup)?

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @Kendrick Llama: Yeah, Jennings is a risky play. It’s early but I would definitely add either or.

  2. jared says:
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    14 team league .5 ppr . my recievers are antonio brown, aj green, allen robinson, eddie royal and phillip dorsett. my rbs are foster, yeldon, abdullah, christine micheals, and david johnson. do drop one of micheals, johnson, dorsett for tyler lockett?

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @jared: I would maybe drop Michaels for Lockett. They still are not sure of his role yet and it is looking highly unlikely that he will be playing this week. I anticipate some growing pains as he finds his place in the new structure. Go for it and drop him for Lockett.

  3. Jman says:
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    Would you trade Kyle Rudolph for Richard Rogers (I also have Gates on the bench) Boom potential for Rogers makes me consider it… am I crazy?

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @Jman: Remember, where there is boom potential there is also bust potential and although I am not a fan of Rudolph (he f***ed me over last year) I’d say hold off on that trade. But then again, I am a gal who likes to live on the edge. Flip a coin and let the Fates decide! To Hell with caution!

  4. Dave says:
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    Hey,

    What do you think’s a better option for week 1 in a PPR – Tevin Coleman or Charles Johnson?

    Thanks!

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @Dave: Hmmm, I think that Coleman has some serious potential to stage a coup and take over the job this season, but Monday could be make or break for his role as HBIC. As much as it pains me to say, FILTHadelphia has a tough front line that may make it hard for Coleman to really make some big plays but I would still take a chance on the rookie and see what he can do for you.

  5. BrewFreeOrDie says:
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    Nice write up! I can’t believe the season is already upon us, and though it might seem to contradict the aforementioned observation, I also can’t believe how long the offseason felt.

    Question for you, standard scoring Yahoo league, 12 teams. I ended up taking Le’Veon with the 5th pick (which was who I preferred out of the tob RB’s so was glad to snag him there) but it does leave me with a two week conundrum at RB2, Ivory is my RB1 until Bell is back. I grabbed Deangelo as his handcuff so that’s who I currently have there, but just looking at him as my starting RB2 for two weeks makes me vomit a little bit. Here are the other options, who are all a little bit pukeworthy themselves:

    Dion Lewis vs. PIT
    Tre Mason vs. SEA
    Darren Sproles @ ATL

    Based on your write up I’m going to guess you’d say roll with Lewis, but I wasn’t sure how you thought Week 1 would go for both he and Deangelo.

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @BrewFreeOrDie: Out if those options you have me, Dion makes the most sense. I avoid Sproles like the plague and Seattle is going to be a tough game for Mason. Don’t let Week 1 performance for Dion turn you off of him if he’s not a monster. I expect some growing pains.

      • BrewFreeOrDie says:
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        @Jennifer Warner: Cool, I’ll hop on the Dion train then and see where it takes me.

        • Jennifer

          Jennifer Warner says:
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          @BrewFreeOrDie: Good man! Also, thanks for the compliment on the article! I aim to please! ;)

  6. Steve Stevenson says:
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    Love Lockett and DGB, but struggling to find a place for one or both of them. Start 2RB, 2WR and a Flex, non-PPR, but we get 1 pt/25 return yds and return TDs count for the player who scores them, which makes Lockett pretty tasty if he can carve out any sort of offensive role.

    My most droppable players are Devonta Freeman (my RB4 until Gurley and Duke are healthy), DeVante Parker and Colston (my WR4 and 5). Dump any of them for Lockett and/or DGB?

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: Freeman. Unload him like Taco Bell the next day.

  7. Tehol Beddict says:
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    OH, IM DEFINITELY HITTIN!!!!! wait. are we talking football? sorry. totally sexist comment.

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @Tehol Beddict: Oh, Tehol…it was just a matter of time before you chimed in. ;)

      • Tehol Beddict says:
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        @Jennifer Warner: glad you’re hitting Lockett. he’s a sexy little fella

        • Jennifer

          Jennifer Warner says:
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          @Tehol Beddict: I know my shit and yes, yes he is.

  8. Dom B says:
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    Should I add duke Johnson hear big things about him and who should I drop for him.

    My team is
    QB Tony Romo
    RB Leveon Bell
    RB Jonathan Stewart
    WR Julio Jones
    WR AJ Green
    TE Jason Witten
    Flex Latavius Murray
    K STEVE HAUSCHKA
    DEF Bengals
    BENCH
    QB ELI MANNING
    WR KEENAN ALLEN
    RB GIO BERNARD
    WR JOHN BROWN
    WR STEVE SMITH

    • Dom B says:
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      @Dom B: Also Rate team any weak spots position I need to trade for

      • FrankGrimes says:
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        @Dom B:
        join a league with more than six teams!

        • Jennifer

          Jennifer Warner says:
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          @FrankGrimes: Oh, Grimey…

      • Jennifer

        Jennifer Warner says:
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        @Dom B: Looks relatively solid. I’m big on WR over RBs and it looks like you stocked up. QB may be weakest spot. Toss some offers out and see who bites. Johnson definitely worth a stash on your bench when he comes back. If anything, I’d drop Brown if you want to snatch him up.

  9. FrankGrimes says:
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    Drop Brandon Coleman or Hurns?

    • Dom B says:
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      @FrankGrimes: It is a 10 man league with random people and it is a money league

      • Jennifer

        Jennifer Warner says:
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        @Dom B: Good Luck!

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @FrankGrimes: No brainer, Hurns.

  10. CMUTimmah says:
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    Brandon Colman or Marques Colston…

    Colston was Graham before Graham was Graham… he’s older, but I think he could provide that big body red zone he used to for NoLa…. but Colman is Colston with more speed! I’m so torn. Now I know how that Twilight girl feels… (In the movies and in real life from what I hear…)

    BTW – First article of yours I read Jen, enjoyed it a lot. Came to this site this season for baseball, and the writing will keep me here during the football season.

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @CMUTimmah: Well, thank you Sir! The only sad part about this is that you missed out on all of my awesomeness last season. Now, let’s get down to business:

      1. Don’t make Twilight references…ever
      2. What does the rest of your bench look like?
      3. Go with your gut. If you know vs. “think” you know, always go with what you know and I would stick with Colston. Speed wins over big bodies every time. I am a huge fan of the big, fireplug RB’s, but they take a beating.
      4. Refer to #1.

      Good luck!

      • CMUTimmah says:
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        @Jennifer Warner: Honestly… I don’t even know why I made reference to it.. I’ve been lucky enough to dodge those movies, and have a wife that despises them…. Honestly, I’m embarrassed I put you through that.

        We had our draft the night before Russell Wilson’s God decided Jordy Nelson was going to need invasive surgery on his knee. Naturally, because I must have slept with one of the fantasy God’s daughters or something, I drafted Jordan Nelson with my second round pick. Luckily, I went WR heavy early in the draft… so I took Antonio Brown in the first…

        My WR situation looks like this:

        WR Brown
        WR DeAndre Hopkins
        WR Yikes. (Mikey Floyd)
        BN Double Yikes. (Colston)
        BN Are you sure he’s even rostered in real life? (Brandon Coleman)

        I was thinking about picking up Doug Baldwin… I guess I can wait and see what happens on Sunday.

        • Jennifer

          Jennifer Warner says:
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          @CMUTimmah: Triple yikes on Baldwin, but he is a lot better pick than what you got sitting there. See if you can trade one away for a better pick to someone in your league who has no idea what they are doing or autodrafted. If not, keep an eye on Baldwin this weekend but if all goes well, I hope you have a good waiver wire spot. Good Luck!

  11. Scott says:
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    You like better TWill or DGB?

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @Scott: DGB. He has shown more talent than Hunter in the offense this preseason and with those being the only two options at WR right now for Tennessee. T-Will does not hold as much confidence for me.

  12. Scott says:
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    For PPR, who’s a better stash, Duke or Martavis?

    • Jennifer

      Jennifer Warner says:
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      @Scott: I would say Bryant in this case. I do like Duke, but comparing concussions to weed, weed wins. Chances are, you will see Bryant back playing before Duke and there is always the risk that Duke will get knocked out again. Go for Bryant.

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