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Welcome back my pretties! If you are reading this, I can only assume you are either (1) a glutton for punishment, (2) a desperate creeper, or (3) just curious. Any way you look at it, I am always glad to have you here. For those loyal slaves who have been with me for the past six years, hi lovelies! I know you missed me more than I missed you, but that is expected.
For those of you new to my dungeon, welcome. I am here to please and give insider info to help you dominate your leagues for yet another NFL season. My 6th Annual Black Widow League draft is happening this coming Sunday, 9/1/2019 at 9:00 pm EST and there are still some slots open. So if there is a hole that you are looking to fill, then baby, I have what you need. Simply take your little pointy thing and click the link to join.
I promise to be gentle and, as always, if you manage to beat me I will supply you with some wonderful Razzball swag at the end of the season. You know you want some.
Look for me every Tuesday on Razzball to bring you lists of who to drop and who to wrap those big old meaty paws around off the wire or through a trade from that guy in your league who auto-drafted and has no idea what he is doing. You know the one, hell, you may even BE the one. As we all know, sometimes it’s those Fantasy Football virgins who really know how to perform and sometimes they can be the difference between a win and another pathetic loss.
I am happy to be back again this season and I am ready with a brand spankin’ new catalogue of innuendo to lay before you weekly, and as I have mentioned before, here to fulfill all of your fantasies…football-wise that is. Anything else remains extra.
So, from our family to yours, keep your pants dry, your dreams wet, and remember, hugs not drugs. Best of luck in Week 1 all, I will see most of you for the draft this Sunday and the rest of you creepy stalkers every Tuesday! Just stay out of the bushes. You damaged the azaleas last time.
Follow Jennifer Warner on twitter.
