By the way, that wasn’t meant as an insult to any of you readers. I have much better insults then that for you. It’s called my writing. No, I said that in the mirror in my best Mr. T impersonation to myself as I took Dennis Pitta in my 14 team auction league way back in early July for $10 bucks. Don’t ask me why I did it in that voice, I think I was just in shock and I do believe it’s one of the stages of grief. You know, the one that comes right before running naked down the street doused in gasoline asking people to light my cigarette. At the time, it seemed smart picking up the main guy who’d benefit from Boldin’s loss in terms of targets and production. Of course, that was before he suffered a dislocated hip in a scrimmage on Saturday at the hands of James Ihedigbo whom I’m currently and desperately trying to find the address for so I can call some special ‘friends’ to take care of some ‘business’. At first reports said he would at least miss the first game of the year. Yeah, thanks reporters I coulda done that if that’s what we call reporting nowadays. And in related news, Bill Belichick was decapitated today by his own hoodie. No word yet as to whether he’ll be ready for the home opener but the Pats front office is hopeful.  So I’m writing through the tears to tell you that there’ll be no soft Pitta Patta of Dennis’ feet in the flat or the end zone for Joey-lite Flacco to throw to this year. In some ways, this will put more on Torrey Smith’s plate and could lead to a bigger year but as I’ve stated before, Torrey’s not the best route runner and he’s not versatile enough to go beast mode and stand up like that. Most likely, some uninspiring options will be tried at first and it wouldn’t at all surprise me if this is an impetus for the team to go out and get a good complementary wide out to run those Boldin/Pitta-like routes. In either case, I’ve updated our Fantasy Football Rankings to no longer include our dear, sweet Dennis for the year much to my chagrin. In other fantasy news that I’ve typed while singing ‘Everything’s Gonna Be Alright’ to myself while rocking back and forth in the corner…
Jeremy Maclin – Tore his ACL on the same day as Pitta and will also miss the year. If I had to guess who’ll fill the role, at first it’ll be Avant but I think Damaris Johnson slowly creeps into the picture over time. Before you say Riley Cooper, realize he’s a deep threat kinda guy and not one who could fill Maclin’s shoes. BTW, have you ever noticed how Saturday sounds a lot like sadder day? I’m sure Ravens and Eagles fans can agree with me there. Same as Pitta, I’ve removed Maclin from my rankings.
Hakeem Nicks – Is banged up. Is banged up. Is banged up. Sorry, my shortcuts hot keys for Nicks notes got stuck there for a minute. You know the drill and I already told you Hakeem Nicks is overrated this year. Just ignore and move on.
Ed Dickson – Well someone will have to play Tight End for the Ravens. Joey-lite can’t do it all, people! I updated his numbers for the year in my 2013 Tight End Rankings but the Pitta injury didn’t move the meter for me in terms of whether I’d draft him except for in the deepest of leagues.
Aaron Dobson – I think Boston.com said it best with this internet headline: ‘Daily Training Camp Overreaction: Aaron Dobson for rookie of the year!’. He had what the pros call a ‘successful day at camp’ on sadder day. Of course, without Gronkowski and Edelman there, who else were they going to throw to? They didn’t sign any zombie wide outs this off-season. That said, it will be intriguing to see who gets a shot between Dobson and Boyce this off-season. Stay tuned.
Jon Baldwin – Much like Dobson, there’s a lot of good buzz going around training camp for Baldwin so far and he’s been the WR2 in training camp ahead of Avery. Who knows, maybe he’s figured it out. I still say his upside is shunted by a good real life QB in Alex Smith but that’s what your watch list is for. Hit that little flag and be ready to click the plus sign when the time is right.
Arian Foster – I’m on the fence about this whole calf issue. On the one hand, he says there’s no time table for his return. On the other hand, I swear Foster always has some nagging something going on during the preseason. Maybe Pitta and Maclin should’ve had the same ‘issues’ so they were broken to bits. In either case, I did say I wasn’t drafting him this year when I wrote about Arian Foster in the off-season and this situation definitely won’t change my mind any time soon. Clearly Tate’s the backup but if you’re looking for deep upside, you can give Dennis Johnson a look but I’d call this training camp chatter for now and disregard.
Cordarrelle Patterson – Has the ‘inside track’ on kick returns this year. Well that’s nice but we fantasy owners want him to have an inside track to where the ball gets thrown to him, amiright? Well, I am for some. I think Jarius Wright is the cheap Viking wide out to own this year because let’s face facts: we don’t really want to own a valuable piece of our offense that’s linked to Christian Ponder’s arm, do we?
Darrius Heyward-Bey – Has been running as the Colts’ WR2 in camp, ahead of T.Y. Hilton. T.Y. but no T.Y. on that one. It’s still early and I still like Hilton more but it does worry me some that Hilton becomes the long receiving threat and loses out on some receptions/yardage this year to DHB if this holds true. TBD about TY and DHB.
Jay Cutler – Says not everyone has bought in on Trestman. Now we could take this one of two ways. ‘Not everyone’ could literally mean people are adjusting and Cutler’s merely pointing that out. Or, Cutler hasn’t adjusted and doesn’t like him and is drawing a line in the sand. Yes, sorry to break your stats analysis but personalities matter in fantasy. I’d like to hear this less moving forward if Cutler is going to be on my team this year.
