The Fantasy Football world has gone all zombie apocalypse and all our stars are turning into the walking dead. Everyone out of the prison, there’s walkers in D! Someone tell Daryl to get his crossbow and a haircut and please keep Carl away from the pigs and my team (that damn kid is trigger happy). Things are about to get real messy. The walking wounded list from Sunday’s episode included Jimmy Graham (ankle), Randall Cobb (knee), Danny Amendola (head), Cecil Shorts (ribs), Matt Schaub (hurt feelings) and some dirty foreign lady that tried to get all stabby on Rick. *Spoiler alert* Rick’s alive, but it’s raining dead all over your fake football team. There’s no loyalty when it comes to surviving the Fantasy Football zombie apocalypse. Before the death toll gets too high or someone makes me watch World War Z again, let’s bring in some new blood. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

 

Jam or Cram: Josh Freeman, QB, Minnesota Vikings

Availability: 90% Yahoo, 96% ESPN

Stat Me Up: Freeman has not taken a snap since joining the Vikes. He did open the playbook, but got “distracted” by his new bong then ate four bags of Combos.

$$$ Value: $1. I’d drop a dollar on Freeman. However, I’m also the guy that bought this on eBay.

The Gist: After Matt Cassel played like Matt Cassel again on Sunday, Freeman has a good shot at the start against the New York Giants Monday night. There was a time Freeman was one of the up-and-coming QBs in the league. Just a year ago he put up 4000 yards and 27 touchdowns. Today he showers with Christian Ponder.

The X-File: Last season Ponder was the 31st ranked quarterback in the league. The only player ranked lower? Matt Cassel. Freeman was 10th.

Jam it or Cram it: Viking HC Leslie “don’t call me Shirley” Frazier hasn’t made up his mind yet on whether Freeman will get the nod versus the porous G-Men defense. If Freeman starts, he has weapons in Greg Jennings, Cordarrelle Patterson and Kyle Rudolph. Having Adrian Peterson behind you certainly doesn’t hurt either. Freeman could make for an interesting play in a QB2 league. And by “interesting” I mean desperate. CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: Brandon Jacobs, RB, New York Giants

Availability: 75% Yahoo, 98% ESPN

Stat Me Up: Last Thursday night, a reanimated Jacobs put up 23 fantasy points on 22 rushes for 106 yards and two touchdowns.

$$$ Value: $7. Time to start using some of that waiver cash on things other than tight ends and kickers. Why are you spending on kickers, Taco?

The Gist: The Giants are a mess. Eli can’t throw it to his own team, Hakeem Nicks has checked out, Da’Rel Scott is hurt and David Wilson is the leading cause of fantasy owner suicides this year. Jacobs is going to get the work.

The X-File: Jacobs tweaked the hammy, but with 10 days off he’ll be good to go.

Jam it or Cram it: Jacobs gets the Vikings Monday night. The Vikes have given up the 3rd most fantasy points to running backs this season. Why not take a chance of Brandon Jacobs? He’s bound to have some points left in those 68-year-old bones until he runs into the line and completely shatters. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Percy Harvin, WR, Seattle Seahawks

Availability: 57% Yahoo, 64% ESPN

Stat Me Up: Harvin has not played since off season hip surgery. Hip surgery is not getting a mustache waxing by these guys in Williamsburg.

$$$ Value: $10. Hey, big spender.

The Gist: Harvin has been the forgotten man this season and he is just waiting for you to pick him up. Harvin will be a must start WR2/WR3 headed down the stretch. He may not get the start this week, but all signs point to Week 8 against the Rams. Waiting around for him will be as frustrating as standing in line at a Starbucks inside a Walmart inside the DMV.

The X-File: In just nine games last season, Harvin had 62 catches, 677 yards and 3 TDs. Pete Carroll is so jacked and pumped and annoying.

Jam it or Cram it: Your humble-but-nonetheless-handsome Guru doesn’t usually suggest jammer/crammers that aren’t playing, but this is the kind of mid-season pick up that can lead you to the fantasy promised land. Don’t get too excited, the “fantasy promised land” is in Delaware. JAM

 

Jam or Cram: Joseph Fauria, TE, Detroit Lions

Availability: 97% Yahoo, 99.9% ESPN

Stat Me Up: Fauria caught three passes for 34 yards and three touchdowns Sunday against a Browns team that had given up the 4th fewest fantasy points to tight ends this year.

$$$ Value: Four quarters, five dimes and 10 nickels. That’s how much change I found on the dresser.

The Gist: The free agent rookie tight end doesn’t do much between the 20’s, but Fauria is Matthew Stafford’s binky when it comes to the red zone. Fauria has more fantasy points than Jermichael Finely, Greg Olsen and Kyle Rudolph. The fantasy god’s hate tight ends.

The X-File: For some reason Stafford has failed to target Fauria even once in half the Lions games. At 6’7”, 255-pound, Fauria is kind of hard to miss.

Jam it or Cram it: Five of Fauria’s seven catches this season have been for scores. If the son of Christian Fauria ever catches three touchdowns in a game again I will surrender my turban and open a donut shop. That’s a cool idea. CRAM

 

Jam or Cram: San Diego Chargers, Defense/Special teams

Availability: 74% Yahoo, 85% ESPN

Stat Me Up: The Dolts gave up 27 points two weeks ago in a loss to the Oakland Raiders.

$$$ Value: $1. Islands in the stream, that is what we are.

The Gist: As of this writing the Chargers are preparing to face the Colts on Monday night and I’m expecting the usual 20+ points from Luck and company.

The X-File: The Chargers D is averaging just 5 1/2 points a game and are last in the league in forced turnovers.

Jam it or Cram it: Why the love for the Chargers this week? San Diego will face the Jacksonville Jaguars Sunday. The Jagoffs have allowed 10, 15 and 23 fantasy points to opposing defenses the last three weeks. I would start my nephews pee wee team defense against the Jags. Those pint sized kids are relentless and at crotch height. JAM

 

Thanks for hanging in the Razzball lounge. Follow The Guru on Twitter @TheGuruGS  for the daily jam or cram, fantasy roster 411’s and other gooey shenanigans.

  1. Shake N Bacon says:
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    I just watched the first episode of season 4 of The Walking Dead last night. Shit got cray cray!

    Yeah, Daryl is going all Playboy during the zombie apocalypse. WTF!

    You jamming or cramming Tim Wright (TE on TB)? I’m sick of the crap show going on in St. Louis. Cook is getting no love since week one.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Carl is annoying me.

      I’m jamming Wright. YEAH

  2. the imp says:
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    Injuries plus short bench = suicide watch for my team

    If this is your 1QB/2RB/3WR squad….
    RG3/Vick (injured)
    Foster/Forte/Ellington/MJD
    Gordon/Nicks/Amendola (prob gone wk 7)/Cobb (injured)
    Fleener

    If:
    a) Cobb is a couple of weeks (I’ll drop if the 6-8 gets confirmed)
    b) Amendola can’t go week 7
    c) I can’t trade MJD for a TE (preferably) or WR

    What is the next best thing to do with this team to avoid a zero at WR?

    • the imp says:
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      @the imp: Sorry edited out this is a shallow 12 team PPR (4 bench spots)….

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      You might have to drop Ellington and pick up someone like Keenan Allen.

  3. Dave says:
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    Which defense is best to stream out of these 2? Miami vs Buf, Carolina vs St Louis

    • Dave says:
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      @Dave: Actually San Diego is available too, but I might like Miami off a bye vs Thad Lewis best what you think?

      Thanks

    • CL says:
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      @Dave: I keep dropping Carolina only to pick them back up. Carolina has become my steady DEF where I planned to stream one.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      i’m going Carolina this week.

  4. Bryan says:
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    asking everyone this..

    Eagles have a nice set of Match ups through their bye week, would you trade Rodgers for Rice?

    I have Vick and could pick up Foles and play whoever is starting between the two each week.

    my team would look like this
    Foles/Vick
    Rb McCoy
    wr Desean Jackson, Garcon
    flex Trent Richardson
    flex Rice

    bench
    Stacy
    Ellington
    James Jones
    Harvin
    Roddy
    David Wilson

    Or keep Rodgers and hope my team gets healthy Fast.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Keep Rodgers. You have too much Philly love on that team. Are you Charlie or Mack?

  5. Mdaddy says:
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    Pick 2 to start this week.

    Ellington, Bilal Powell, Woodhead.

    • miguel Dominguez says:
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      @Mdaddy: Ellington and Powell

    • Bryan says:
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      @Mdaddy: powell and woodhead no doubt.

    • CL says:
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      @Mdaddy: PPR? Woodhead and Ellington.

      • Mdaddy says:
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        @CL: Sorry all, standard league, non ppr.

        • CL says:
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          @Mdaddy: I still say Woodhead & Ellington. Woodhead has more targets and catches than Vincent Jackson.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Ellington and Woody. Powell has been getting less and less work, Pats tough against the run.

  6. miguel Dominguez says:
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    Who should I start at the flex? Anquan boldin, Harry Douglas, or martellus Bennett?
    Im leaning towards Harry Douglas, especially with boldin being double teamed week in week out, and Bennett hasnt found the end zone in a while…….

    *10 team ppr*

    THANKS

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I would still start Boldin. Is Keenan Allen available?

      • miguel Dominguez says:
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        @The Guru: he is available but I doubt ill be able to pick him up im in 1st place and ill be last place on the waiver standings. Plus the fact that I think harry Douglas will be putting up big numbers with jones out for the year and white possibly missing a week or two.

  7. CL says:
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    6-0 baby! 12 team PPR…

    Brees on bye. I’m leaning towards picking up Rothlisberger (Ravens though)… JAM? But, as of now, Dalton, Flacco, Braford, Alex Smith, Weedon & Tannehil are also out there. Who is the best JAMMER?

    Dalton is my JAMMER isn’t he?

    • miguel Dominguez says:
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      @CL: Alex Smith is the way to go

      • CL says:
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        @miguel Dominguez: I contemplated, but he’s got Houston DEF this week and not many completions lately…

        • miguel Dominguez says:
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          @CL: did you see what st louis did to them!? Lol

          • miguel Dominguez says:
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            @miguel Dominguez: Bradford more than anything

          • CL says:
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            @miguel Dominguez: Any given Sunday? Was that a fluke though?

    • willy says:
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      @CL: I think Tanny’s gonna have some fun against the Bills this week. Dolphins have had a week off to plan. Maybe it’s just the Dolphins fan in me…

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Nick Foles. Or Dalton.

  8. James says:
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    Hey,

    12 team ppr league, 2 WR 2 RB 2 FLEX (WR/TE, WR/RB)

    I just traded for Rodgers (gave away Ryan and Steve Smith) and currently have cutler and vick as well.

    My RBs are Charles and F.Jackson (both havent had a bye yet) with Vareen stashed away.
    WRs are Garcon, Fitz and Blackmon and (Harvin on bench as well)

    Would you trade Vick for Powell and Hartline? I feel this gives me a little more depth and a starting RB for bye week and injury insurance. Or am I selling too low on Vick?
    Thanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Well, Vick is hurt and may lose his job. That might be the best you can get, but I think you could do better.

      • James says:
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        Problem is, nobody was trading for a QB for VIck got hurt so not sure if I could get anything significantly better then this. Plus now, I dont see anyway that I would ever play Vick over Rodgers, where as before I was ok starting him over Ryan.

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Hartline in ppr leagues is a good pickup. My confidence in Powell getting significant work keeps going down. I understand your thinking, though.

  9. Ecstatic Giraffe says:
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    A guy in my league has out calvin johnson on the trade block. He wants qbs, we’re in a 2 qb league, and needs an upgrade. My qbs are rodgers, stafford, and tannehill. I offered him Tannehill but he wants stafford. Is it worth it? I’m just worried cause stafford is outscoring rodgers at this point and I’m worried about Johnsons knee going forward. Should I do it or should try to get more?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Worth considering. Who are your other WRs?

      • Ecstatic Giraffe says:
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        @The Guru: Terrance williams, Marlon Brown, Jarret Boykins, and Stevie Johnson.

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Ouch. The knee issue worries me, but it could pay off. I’d probably roll the dice and do it.

  10. Ecstatic Giraffe says:
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    Yeah I drafted 3 injured wrs. So stafford for cj?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That’s an “accept”. Cross fingers, light a candle, pray to Jeebus he stays healthy.

      • Ecstatic Giraffe says:
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        @The Guru: I’m a fan of bold/risky moves. Offer sent (our previous trade talk was through text)

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Good luck, man.

          • Ecstatic Giraffe says:
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            @The Guru: Thank You sir!

  11. Pardon Me Madam, But Your Mipples Are Leaking says:
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    Nice buy off eBay!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Woo Woo!

  12. Dave says:
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    Need to start 2 out of these 3 in a .5PPR – Lacy, Woodhead, Ridley? I want to do Lacy and Ridley but I’m still skeptical to start Ridley.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      In PPR it’s Lacy and Woody.

      • Dave says:
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        @The Guru: Thanks, just curious about what to do with Ridley should I start trusting him to start going forward?

        • The Guru

          The Guru says:
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          Trust? Hmmm…not sure Belichick trusts him, but a good sign last week.

          • Dave says:
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            @The Guru: Thank you Guru

  13. allen says:
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    Thinking of letting kaepernick back in my lineup this week…i see what tenn has done to opposing qbs though…is tenn def really that good? Only other option is the turnover machine eli who actually has a nice matchup….vikings were just coming off a bye and at home and they give up 4 tds to cam? Minn is bad

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I actually like Eli better this week. And I’m sober.

  14. Kevin says:
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    I have Brees on bye this week. Do I use my number 4 waiver on Nick Foles? Or should I gamble and hope no one grabs him and then pick him up in FA? If he goes there’s QB’s out there like Weeden Alex Smith Big Ben Flacco Henne. Is it worth using a waiver for Foles here?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Don’t waste your waiver. The other guys can fill in if need be.

  15. Kevin says:
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    I have Brees on bye this week. Do I use my number 4 waiver on Nick Foles? Or should I gamble and hope no one grabs him and then pick him up in FA? If he goes there’s QB’s out there like Weeden Alex Smith Big Ben Flacco Henne. Is it worth using a waiver for Foles here?

  16. Chicken Dinner says:
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    D/ST Question.

    TEN or DAL ROS?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      That’s a long projection, but Titans D looks better.

  17. Gbbb says:
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    Was offered spiller for leveon bell and Ellington. My Other Rbs are Martin, McFadden, Gio Bernard. Thoughts? I like Ellington and not sure how I feel about bell. Byw its ppr. Thanks for your thoughts in advance

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Stick with Spiller. He’s gotta turn this season around.

  18. RG3 Needs a Knee says:
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    Two add drop opptions for my PPR league.

    Would you lose the following :
    Bolden for JRandle

    and

    Tavon Austin for Kris Durham

    Thanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      I’d hold for now.

  19. Brett says:
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    Guru I am hurting at wr in a Ppr league

    Thoughts on Durham?

    Also can you rank in a Ppr league cook, clay, reed rest of the season.

    Thanks

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Clay, Reed , Cook. My hopes were so high for Cook. Now droppable.

      I like what I’m seeing from Durham, but the targets will drop as Johnson gets healthier. He’s a WR4 and may be a 2 game wonder.

  20. jake says:
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    .5 ppr 12tm

    would you trade spiller +josh gordon+ ellington for Jamal charles

    bear in mind my other 2 Rb’s are Bush and Bernard and the WR who would take Gordons slot would be harry douglas or edelman…

    thanks!

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Thats’s a lot to give up. you seem pretty good at RB.

  21. DDT says:
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    Drop D.Wilson for Vereen?

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      It’s probably safe to do that now. They are both out. Vereen back in week 11. Wilson maybe soon may gone for the year. Either way you’re not getting anything for a month or more.

  22. WhoDatNation says:
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    Hey Guru my streak continues 5-1, 1st place in my League!

    I’m having issues trying to decide who to drop and pickup. Bree’s is on a bye week so I dropped my Def, and can’t decide if I want to drop anyone off my roster, if so, who? I’m projected to win even without a def but you and I both know projections don’t mean crap, I’d like every advantage I can get.

    Any suggestions on who I can drop this week, thanks!

    QB: Jay Cutler
    RB: Frank Gore
    RB: Brandon Jacobs
    WR: Brandon Marshall
    WR: Julius Blackmon
    WR: Josh Gordon
    TE: Jason Witten
    Flex: Victor Cruz
    K: Robbie Gould
    D/ST: None

    Bench: Drew Bree’s (Bye), Chris Johnson, Deangelo Williams, Jason Witten, Steve Smith, Keenan Allen, Terrance Williams

    Also, I was thinking about scooping up Zac Stacey next week after dropping Cutler, or do you think I should get him now?
    Percy Harvin is still available in my league also!!!

    Thanks again for the help!

    Also I love walking Dead any idea on the Havoc” Phineas” will reap upon the prison next week after being zombified?

    • WhoDatNation says:
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      @WhoDatNation:

      Typos: WR2: Justin Blackmon, TE1: Julius Thomas

      • The Guru

        The Guru says:
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        I might consider dropping Terrance Williams for a D. You punt points and take a “0”.

        • WhoDat Nation says:
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          @The Guru:

          Okay thanks!

  23. Randy says:
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    Need some wavier wire help. Which RB should I pick up? Looking ROS.
    RB scoring: 25 yd = 1 pt, TD = 6 pt. (TD heavy league)

    Zac Stacey
    Ryan Mathews
    Brandon Jacobs
    Joseph Randle

    • WhoDatNation says:
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      @Randy:

      I’d pick up Brandon Jacobs as I believe the Giants will be relying heavily on their run game with Eli’s inconsistency., Matthews has one receiving TD this year and is splitting carries with Woodhead. I think Joseph Randle might have trouble finding the end zone with Dez Bryant, Jason Witten, and T. Williams to compete with! Zac Stacey is a big guy I think he may be a good second choice. Depending on Jacobs health.

    • The Guru

      The Guru says:
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      Roll with Jacobs until he breaks himself.

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