Amazing, isn’t it, my Razzballers? The Fantasy Football playoffs are on the immediate horizon. Seems like only yesterday we were doing mock drafts and arguing about whether to take Adrian Peterson or Doug Martin with the first pick. Hope you went AP. We were all so young, bright-eyed and hopeful then. Sing it: We are the world, we are the children. Three months later, we are a disgruntled bunch of misanthropes throwing back cheap scotch at 8 am, licking our nicotine patches and staring into the dark abyss of Week 11. If you drafted Arian Foster or Aaron Rodgers, it may be time to take up Fantasy Curling. It’s HUGE in Canada. Ask our touque wearing podcast host Nick. He bailed on his team three weeks ago to concentrate on Canada’s national pastime. For the rest of us more “serious” fantasy ballers, it’s time to start thinking a step ahead of the competition and improve our playoff seeds. There is no loyalty when it comes to this silly little game. It’s time to bail on players dragging you down. So long Trent Richardson, your dead to me. Bye, bye, Stevie Johnson, your mom’s here. Colin Kaepernick? Meet me down by the stream so I can tell you about the rabbits. We’re looking for men not mice. It’s time to make the playoff push. It’s time to jam it or cram it.
Availability: 98% Yahoo, 99% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 23.86 fantasy points. Look at the
brain arm on the Harvard boy Fitzpatrick. He completed 22-of-33 passes for 264 yards and two touchdowns. Fitzy also ran for a score then he “Fitzpatricked.” This is “‘Fitzpatricking.” Not very exciting.
$$$ Value: $0. Hey, that’s what I have in my checking account!
The Gist: With Jake Locker hanging out in the nurses station again this week with a Lisfranc injury, Fitzpatrick will get the start against the Colts. Strange coincidence, the nurse’s name is Liz Frank. Small world. Indianapolis has been largely stingy in pass defense this year, but has given up the 3rd most FPPG to QBs the last six weeks including letting Kellen Clemens throw for 247 yards and two TDs last week.
The X-File: Last weeks top 4 Fantasy QBs were named Brees, Manning, RGIII and Fitzpatrick. We live in a Bizarro World. *downs scotch*
Jam it or Cram it: If you are in a league that gives extra points to bearded, Harvard grad quarterbacks, Fitzpatrick is your man. He can throw 6-yard screen passes and find the length of the hypotenuse with the best of them. Fitzpatrick can also turn the ball over. In the two games he filled in for the hurt Locker earlier this season, Fitzy threw four picks and had three fumbles. In a 2QB League, he might be worth a jam, but for the rest of us non-Ivy leaguers it’s a CRAM.
Jam or Cram: Donald Brown, RB, Indianapolis Colts
Availability: 84% Yahoo, 83% ESPN
Stat Me Up: 12.30 fantasy points. Brown rushed two times for -1 yards. BOO! Brown did have five catches for 64 yards and a touchdown. YAY! Fantasy Football is an emotional roller coaster. Where’s my Xanax?
$$$ Value: $10. Have some fresh free agent cash left laying around? Start using it.
The Gist: Andre Brown is the back you want this week. We jammed on him last week when he was free for the taking. He put up 18 points. Good luck snagging him now. The other Brown guy is Donald. That just sounds wrong. I’m unintentionally racist. With Trent Richardson running straight into the line then curling up in the fecal position – not a typo- Brown is the Indy back to scoop up.
The X-File: Brown is averaging 5.9 yards per carry. T-Rich is averaging 14 inches per carry. It’s true. Ryan Fitzpatrick did the math.
Jam it or Cram it: The Colts face the Tennessee Titans twice in the next three weeks. The Titans give up 19 points per game to running backs. Are you an Arian Foster owner, need a flex, missed out on Andre Brown? JAM
Availability: 57% Yahoo, 18% ESPN. Weird difference in ownership % between the two leagues. Why? I don’t know. Email Matthew Berry. He blocked me on Twitter.
Stat Me Up: 32.20 fantasy points. Austin caught two passes for 138 yards and two touchdowns and added 98-yard punt return for a TD.
$$$ Value: $1. A buck for a guy that went off for 32 fantasy points, Guru?! Well, disembodied voice of the Razzball chorus, the line for Austin will be long and not worth the wait. Now sing us some “Bohemian Rhapsody.”
The Gist: It was Austin’s coming out party on Sunday. Now that he’s out, it’s right back in the closet of irrelevancy. Expectations were high coming into the draft, but it’s been a disappointing season. Despite the huge game, Austin was still only targeted three times and is only averaging about five targets a game.
The X-File: Austin played just 15 of the Rams 60 offensive snaps last week.
Jam it or Cram it: It’s easy to get fooled by a week full of flash, don’t be one of those guys. In a Dynasty league, I’ll take some shares. However, as we head into the playoff stretch run, Austin can’t be trusted. He’s also on a bye this week. CRAM with extreme prejudice.
Jam or Cram: John Carlson, TE, Minnesota Vikings
Availability: 98% Yahoo, 99.5 % ESPN
Stat Me Up: 15.80 fantasy points. Did everyone forget Carlson caught seven passes for 98 yards and a touchdown last Thursday?
$$$ Value: $3. Carlson is worth a gamble, but don’t spend anymore than this.
The Gist: With Kyle Rudolph curled up on the couch in his Snuggie, Carlson will get play. The problem with Carlson is at quarterback. Who’s throwing him the ball? Is it Christian Ponder, Josh Freeman, Fran Tarkenton?
The X-File: Before last Thursday’s game, Carlson had just 11 receptions for 61 yards.
Jam it or Cram it: Carlson and the Minnesota Adrian Petersons get the Seahawks on Sunday. That’s going to be ugly. Let’s play some fantasy roulette and lay our chips on Carlson. Damn, double-zeroes! Let’s try again. JAM
Jam or Cram: Buffalo Bills, Defense/Special Teams
Availability: 79% Yahoo, 82% ESPN
$$$ Value: $0. Grab them off the wire, they’re free.
The Gist: The Buffalo defense wasn’t bad against the Steelers, they spent too much time on the field due to an inept Bills offense and were nickled and dimed all day. The Bills are currently second in the league in sacks and tied for first with 13 interceptions.
Jam it or Cram it: Good matchup for the Bills as they face the Jets and Geno Smith. Geno likes to throw it to the wrong team. By “like” I mean he does it a lot. The last four defenses that played the Jets averaged 14 points. JAM
*Week 11 Bonus Tracks*
Nick Folk, K, NY Jets: Someone tweeted at me that I ignore kickers. Nick Folk is a kicker. He is averaging double digit points the last three games. Can I go back to ignoring kickers now? JAM
Good luck in Week 11. Leave a question below or let’s talk kickers on Twitter @TheGuruGS.