Welcome to another edition of Jay’s (hey, that’s me!) Review of all things Week 2. Except for Monday Night Football, just as bad as Thursday Night Football, but now without Chris Berman. So slightly better. Maybe. Who knows actually? I’m just waiting for when the NFL figures out how to have a game on every night and additionally draw out the NFL Draft for entire offseason. You think it might not happen, but Roger Goodell is already telling Robert Kraft to hold his beer (usually it’s his penis). So yeah, that was basically me saying that MNF is too late for this existential journey, maaaan. And sure, what I just typed may have come off as sassy, but that’s only because MB RSVP’d (so many acronyms, so little time!) probably the best GIF from Week 2 with the Lynch Safety Dance. You probably only understood that reference if you’re a member of AARP, but hey, on the bright side, more acronym dropping. So instead, I have chosen Todd Gurley to shine my light upon with the utmost care and love. Which is what I also refer to as a boner. And behold above, if that GIF doesn’t turn you on, I don’t want to be off. I feel like this could be the new Dyson’s vacuum cleaner slogan. Or the first last line I’ll ever say to a first last date. The possibilities are endless, just like a world with a functioning Todd Gurley. Is he back? (Maybe?) Was he ever gone? (Yeah.) (Vague) Answers to these questions and your usual daily allotment of hot takes, yokes (jokes in egg form, or I guess I could have just corrected the typo instead of typing this long sentence out… wait, am I still typing?), and your Week 2 Top Plays in GIF form are all after the jump!

Top Plays in GIFs: Travis Kelce Leaps Into the Endzone for a 15-yard TD.

Yeah, you got a touchdown, but where’s my taunting penalty, brah?

Things I Learned In Week 2: The Definitive List (Accept No Others!)

  • Paprika is for men.
  • The Chiefs are actually pretty good and pretty bad all at the same time. (I especially liked how Andy Reid’s strategy, with Alshon Jeffery‘s being targeted roughly two dozen times yesterday, was to do nothing.)
  • Don’t stare into the sun.
  • Patriots played ANGRY after a loss, according to all the great T.V. analysts out there. “GRRRRR!”Tom Brady, when he can’t find his favorite pairs of Uggs. (I mean, why is there this assumption that every time the Patriots lose a game, they are “playing angry” the next game, and that this makes them better? Other teams lose all the time and it doesn’t give them special magical angry powers…)
  • Jets still suck.
  • Bears really-really suck.
  • The Browns are still very-very Browns.

Top Plays in GIFs: Zach Ertz Makes Strategic Tipped-ball Catch.

In the most Eagles thing ever, they missed the field goal after this play going into the half… I should point out that this was actually one of the few highlights from Sunday’s “STOP STANDING THERE AND THROW THE EFFING BALL ALREADY!-Bowl” between Carson Wentz and Alex Smith.

Hot Takes Alert! The Hottest You’ve Ever Seen! Until the Next Set of Hot Takes!

  • I did really like Golden Tate III: The Search for Blocks. The plot started wandering in Golden Tate II.
  • Torrey Smith is still alive?
  • So… can anyone explain Odell Beckham Jr.’s blonde jellyfish hairdo? Like, is that a millennial thing?
  • We are now officially past the Week 2 saga of “How Long Will These Teams Claim Colin Kaepernick Isn’t As Good As Their Dumpster Fire Quarterback”. Highlights include the always idiotic Jeffrey Laurie claiming that he doesn’t like it when people protest the flag. I feel like that statement could use more Chip Kelly uptempo.
  • “Stat sheets don’t tell the whole story.”Brian Hoyer.
  • Aaron Rodgers probably talks to his family less than the Menendez Brothers.

Top Plays in GIFs: Aqib Talib Returns an Interception 103 Yards Against the Dak Attack.

So if Ezekiel Elliott never really contributed to this game, does that count towards his suspension? Also sorta-related (not really), but this is the fifth year in a row Peyton Manning ensures I never ever use Nationwide for anything. Just saying.

Obligatory Week 2 Injury Report: I Am Just Here for the Catastrophic Season-Ending Injuries!

  • After leaving early against the Bills and being on crutches on the sideline, Greg Olsen told reporters post-game that he suffered a broken foot. With Olsen out indefinitely, Ed Dickson (D*cksON mutha f*cka, amirite folks?) will take over the starting tight end role.
  • Rob Gronkowski suffered a groin injury on Sunday against the Saints… who does he think he is, Danny Amendola? I’d take a solid guess for how long he’ll be out, but I’ll do it cosplaying the Patriots injury report: His return to football for the rest of time is “questionable”.
  • Green Bay Packers receiver Jordy Nelson left in the first quarter of the Sunday night game with a quad injury and was ruled questionable to return.
  • Corey Coleman broke his hand in the loss to the Baltimore Ravens. He suffered a similar injury last season and missed six weeks. Rashard Higgins would be a potential waiver add if Coleman is sidelined.
  • Corey Davis exited with a hamstring injury in the team’s win over the Jacksonville Jaguars. He re-aggravated a previous similar injury early in the preseason, which forced him to miss most of training camp.
  • Sam Bradford missed the Minnesota Vikings’ game against Pittsburgh Steelers with a left knee injury and is still questionable for Week 3.
  • Redskins running back Rob Kelley had a strong game going against the Los Angeles Rams before going down with a rib injury. If Kelley misses significant time, Chris Thompson will see more snaps. Samaje Perine will just receive fumbling lessons on the bench, brought to you by NFL Coaching 101.
  • Eddie Lacy was a healthy scratch for the Seattle Seahawks. Maybe he was just too hungry?

Top Plays in GIFs: Mike Glennon Intercepted By Fate.

I haven’t seen a Giraffe get this messed up since European hunters first came to Africa. And remember kids, you can’t spell “Glennon” without NO.

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Have Hit PEAK BEARS!

  • The John Fox era in Chicago is a lot like the Lovie Smith era, you know, except that they don’t have a quarterback, a defense, a kicker, or a return specialist… but, uh, they both have subpar wide receivers! Yeah…
  • Hey, something I failed to mention in the last bullet point, but remember that time when the Bears had a great secondary? Me neither…
  • Tarik Cohen: A black Jew who plays for the Bears. In the NFL, they call this the triple whammy.
  • I’d say we’re at 11:59 PM on the Bears Trubistkytown clock. MIDNIGHT IS FAST APPROACHING PEOPLE.
  • Whenever the Bears get you down Chicago, just remember, they’re just doing what the Cubs did… lose for a while until the perfect time comes along… and then strike! What’s that? They forgot about the whole drafting good players aspect of Theo Epstein’s plan to win? Ohhhhh…

Top Plays in GIFs: Johnny Hekker Completes Successful A “HOLY SH*T, THAT WORKED?” Fake Punt Pass.

The Redskins getting caught off guard? That doesn’t seem right…

Grudenism Break Time!

  • THESE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS, I CALL EM PIERRE CAUCHON, BECAUSE THEY TORCHED THE SAINTS!
  • THIS SEAHAWKS REDZONE OFFENSE, I CALL EM A FAILED ORGY, BECAUSE THEY WANT TO GET TO SIX BUT THEY ONLY GET THREE!
  • THIS GUY JARED GOFF, I CALL EM JARED GOLF CAUSE HE JUST TEED IT UP ALL DAY FOR THE REDSKINS!

Top Plays in GIFs: Rob Gronkowski Shakes Off Defender with Bright Underwear for a 53-yard Touchdown.

Of course Rob Gronkowski wears neon colored underwear, and of course it shows out from under his uniform at all times, because THAT’S SO GRONK, BRAH!

The Mercedes-Benz Stadium Looks Like a Butthole Section!

I’m calling the new Falcons stadium “The Poop Cutter” until I think of something more clever. Spoiler Alert: I won’t.

  • I have this idea… an almost prescient one, that Roger Goodell will spend this coming offseason demanding that every open air stadium be retrofitted with a retractable roof to avoid weather delays. He will insist the $2 billion, per city, in taxpayer money will be required, and it’ll be necessary due to the immense importance we place on the safety of the fans.

Top Plays in GIFs: Jacquizz Rodgers Spins Into the End Zone for a 1-Yard Touchdown.

When Jacquizz Rodgers has kids, he’ll be Pop Jacquizz. Just thought I should point that out.

Interesting Tidbits Around the League: MMMM TIDBITS.

  • Los Angeles Chargers tight end Antonio Gates broke the all-time tight end touchdown record yesterday with a 7-yard TD from quarterback Philip Rivers. And then suddenly, the “Gates” to Heaven opened, St. Peter approached and asked: “But did you play basketball?”
  • So the Patriots took apart the Saints defense you say? That’s weird… I didn’t know the Saints had a defense.
  • Brian Hoyer had a quarterback rating of 44 at one point yesterday. He could have probably just taken a knee on every play from then on and it would have gone up.
  • Will Tye sounds like a character from a Dr. Seuss poem.
  • The Jets have more touchdowns than the Bengals. LOL.
  • Speaking of the Jets, it’s not really fair for a ranked team like the Raiders to beat up on a Division IV team at home. Well… I guess it could be valuable experience for the younger guys and provide a good morale boost next week when the Jets face off against the heavily favored Pasadena School for the Deaf, Dumb, and Blind.
  • And speaking of the Raiders, sometimes I think Jeff Triplette lives to penalize them, but then I look at the numbers and realize that no, he actually gets PAID to do it.
  • Andre Ellington, Chris Johnson, AND Carson Palmer on the same team? Did I accidentally time travel all the way back to 2012?
  • Adrian Peterson only got eight touches. He gonna be maaaaaad.
  • Holy sh*t, I just realized I’ve been watching Jay Cutler while writing this post.
  • Fantasy advice from the previous week that would have worked this week and will probably work next week? Start any and all Raiders. I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
  • When did the Jaguars start understanding the concept secondary coverage? What is this dark timeline we find ourselves in? Wait, don’t answer that…
  • Still hard to believe that in 2017, when you have a franchise quarterback like Cam Newton or Russell Wilson, teams still don’t invest in their OL.
  • Phil Dawson kicked a game-winning 40-yard field goal yesterday, which is one yard for every three years of his age.

Top Plays in GIFS: Cleveland Browns Do a Good?

The sweet isn’t as sweet unless you’ve tasted the sour. That’s what I usually tell Browns fans. Also, I tell them that Cleveland would be a better place to live if there were paved roads.

Hot Takes! The Hotter, the Better! Just Like Mothers!

  • I really enjoyed Arthur Blank when he played the bad guy in Death Wish 3.
  • “Jesus, did I forget to include a sunset clause in this thing?” – Satan, revisiting his contract with Tom Brady.
  • Everytime an announcer says “That’ll be the final play of the quarter…” with a few seconds still ticking off the clock, I really wish the coach would call timeout just to prove them wrong. WHERE IS ALL THE JUSTICE IN THE WORLD?
  • Did Alabama not generate enough fat running backs this past year for Green Bay to replenish their stock?
  • I have so many questions about this KIA commercial where the baby hamster escapes the maternity ward: Why does it need to escape? Where are the parents? Why can’t the hamster just walk out the front door? I mean, I’m not even getting to the part about hamsters driving cars. Or anyone wanting to drive a KIA.
  • The Jaguars are totally winning that division, with no quarterback and nothing better than a WR4. Bank it.
  • You know what’s really entertaining? A Colts versus Cardinals game without either team’s only impactful offensive player.

THE Top Play in Week 2: Younghoe Koo Misses Potential Game-Winning 44-yard Field Goal.

Ho Lee Fuk.

The Official “My Chargers Moved to L.A. Seven Stages of Grief” Statement!

  • I bet you the real reason why the Chargers can’t play the Rams in the regular season is because neither team would have a visiting crowd willing to buy tickets.

Final Thought: But, Why?

It’s super weird that the Chargers celebrate touchdowns with a Civil War cannon that predates electricity, right?

 

 

FantasyDraft is starting a new sign-up promotion starting today, all new depositing signups receive a free $4 “Everyone Wins” NFL GPP ticket for the upcoming Sunday slate along with offering all players 4% cash back on their initial deposits as well!

  1. web says:
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    Would you trade Baldwin and Cohen for Amari Cooper in a… .5 ppr..im concerned with the Seattle o-line play and the passing game…Cohen isn’t someone I’m starting at this point.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @web: Yeah, I’m okay with it, but I still like Baldwin ROS.

      • web says:
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        You like Amari much more than Baldwin Ros to make this worth it?..owner also has Dez but not sure he’d trade him

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @web: If you’re not even using Cohen, then yeah, I think he’ll wind up with better numbers. Loving the Raiders right now. I’d say, if you’re 2-0 or 1-1, I’d probably hold onto Baldwin a little bit longer.

          • web says:
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            My wrs would be Cooper, cooks, Hogan, Golladay, and I still have Hunt, Carson, and Doug Martin back soon as legit rb flex options

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @web: Yeah, you’re pretty stacked, I think the trade here is fine.

  2. Allan says:
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    Jay 12 team ppr dynasty league. My team is
    QB Brady and Stafford
    RB Cook, Ingram, Cohen, K. Williams, Perkins, IR Johnson
    WR Julio, Cooper, Baldwin, Marshall, Cupp
    TE Ertz and Howard
    I’m 0-2 and was wondering if I should trade Cohen for Derrick Henry?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Allan: Yeah, I’m okay with giving that a shot. Henry is definitely getting some more time than I thought he would.

      • Allan says:
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        @Jay: Thanks Jay. Man being 0-2 with this team has got me swinging cacti.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Allan: Naw, I feel you, I think 0-4 is panic, so we’re not quite there yet.

  3. Jedimasters says:
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    Interested in reading your thoughts on Chris Carson. Is he the lead back now? We know that Sea O Line will get better. They do this every single year.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jedimasters: Yeah, Carson looks solid. He should be on every team in some manner or form. Not sure on snap count, but the talent is there.

  4. royce says:
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    stefon diggs, Jordan matthews and Christian mccaffery for leveon bell Sammy Watkins?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @royce: Bell side.

  5. Ya boy Keeks says:
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    12 Team PPR.
    Wrs Hopkins/Kelvin/Crowder/Marquise Lee/Wallace
    Rbs Freeman/Marshawn/Henry/Chris Thompson/Kamara/AP

    Looking for wr help and set it and forget it flex.
    Would you trade Chris Thompson and Crowder for Doug Baldwin and Shane vereen?

    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Ya boy Keeks: Yeah, you need an upgrade at WR, I’d do it.

      • Ya boy Keeks says:
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        @Jay: Thanks for the quick reply man. Do you like that Baldwin trade better than:

        Thompson/Marquise Lee for Diggs/Mixon?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Ya boy Keeks: I like both honestly, but probably Diggs slightly.

          • Ya boy Keeks says:
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            @Jay: Even if Case Keenum is running the show there?

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Ya boy Keeks: yeah, fair point, but I like Mixon a little more than I did preseason.

  6. Zachary says:
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    In a 10 team PPR league, what would you think about sending either D Cook or M Gillislee and M Bryant to get Mike Evans, and would you say one offer is considerable better than the other?

    I’ve got a team thats pretty well stacked on depth for start-worthy players, at RB there is already Elliot and Fournette. So the goal I had in mind was to secure the most consistent top starters at WR possible, Bryant is somewhat maddeningly inconsistent

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zachary: I’d say it’s a bout the same, but I’d rather have Cook right now because of Bradford’s injury. And yeah, I’d do that trade.

  7. Steve Anus says:
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    in my biggest money league my 2nd round pick is looking ugly (howard), right when i’m afraid an owner comes into message board saying he wants to move a RB for a WR. full PPR with 10 return yards per pick (so lockett is much better, much)
    QB (1) winston/bradford
    RB (2) howard/hunt/vereen/k.williams (dropped soon probably)/t.west/forte
    WR (2) green/DT/fitzgerald/lockett/t.will (LAC)/
    TE (1) rudolph
    K streamer
    DEF CIN (streamer probably)
    guy has henry/melgor/montgomery/carson/j.will GB

    these doable (in this order i’d think)
    1. green for melgor
    2. DT for montgomery
    after doing one of these i’d drop k.will ARI (and i might do this anyway) for hurns/fuller/sano/m.williams (no IR slots)

    • Steve Anus says:
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      @Steve Anus: 1 flex spot. it’s looking like one hell of an ugly situation to have to start one of west/forte/vereen/howard every week now.

      • Steve Anus says:
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        @Steve Anus: nevermind this, i sent green for melgor and got a response back showing exactly why about 9 owners in this league personally hate the melgor owner for like 20 years and actually we had to removed voting for vetoes do to literally EVERY trade this owner used to attempt would be vetoed. here’s his comment “the best i’d do for green is carson, green is old”. HAHAHAHAH. i sent him DT for montgomery and said i’m looking for similar value WR for RB here, not bluffing that a player you added from FA 3 days ago who had one good half in a timeshare is suddenly worth a 2nd rounder or better. good luck to you if you can find any other owner willing to do that though.

        • Steve Anus says:
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          @Steve Anus: and the vetoed ones were always fair deals, it was just personal hatred since the dude is (admittedly) a douchebag. i was the ONLY one causing a stink about the vetos though (the comish agreed and removed voting on vetos) i’m like “if hitler played in fantasy he should be able to make fair deals”.

          • Big E Is A Creep says:
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            @Steve Anus: I think we need more background info on your league to be able to properly answer this dilemma.

            • Steve Anus says:
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              @Big E Is A Creep: no dilemma on it, we got rid of trade voting 2 years ago nearly since the hated guys trades would always be vetoed just from personal animosities (which are believable, the guy is a twat, but that shouldn’t have anything to do with him being allowed to make fair trades)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve Anus: Yeah, love that first trade for ya. Not crazy about going after Ty, but I think it’s okay.

      • Steve Anus says:
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        @Jay: yeah no montgomery either, as far as what he claims in his trade refusals both DT/green are “old and near worthless compared to the clearly no timeshare carson”. paraphrased. he might actually believe this claptrap that carson is worth 2nd/3rd round WR in PPR, either way he won’t be getting any deals done thinking so. it isn’t good that howard and now t.west are injured for me, might be able to get c.johnson as i lost this week, my waiver will be likely 6th or around there rather than 12th like last week (weekly reset to standings/points)

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Steve Anus: Yeah, sounds like he’s trying to sell high.

  8. Brent

    The Fantasy Dick says:
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    drop K. williams for thompson? 12 tm standard, 100 fa budget..

    fantasy gods have not heard my prayers since DJ went down

  9. Brent

    The Fantasy Dick says:
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    12 tm standard

    a team in my league lost gronk and cobb and his extra wr’s suck.

    think he’ll trade bell/moncrief/m. wallace for gore/k.benjamin/jeffery?

    • Brent

      The Fantasy Dick says:
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      @The Fantasy Dick: My other WRs are Hogan, Maclin, Garcon

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @The Fantasy Dick: I think you’d need to add more. There’s such a huge gap between Gore and Bell.

  10. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Jay. Shepard or Ginn ros in a full point ppr league? Also, Alex Smith or Luck? I have Russell Wilson but I’m not sure about Seattle’s offense and o-line. Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jerry: I’d say Ginn there. And probably Luck. I think Wilson will be okay.

  11. Big E Is A Creep says:
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    In PPR leagues, what value do you assign to C. Thompson, C. Carson, and J. Allen for week 2?
    How about the rest of the season?
    I could see all being RB2’s for week 2 but there’s obvious volume concerns for Thompson and Allen. I spent over half my FA $ on these 3 RB’s last week, addressing my RB depth issue.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Big E Is A Creep: I like them in that order. I think you should be okay here.

  12. Alfred E. Naujocks says:
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    did you notice one of the first things collinsworth said going into last night’s kickoff
    “man wouldn’t it be fun to look into the bowels of….”

    gotta wonder how many times he’s been turned away from proctology schools
    “dude, we’re full man, just go home”

  13. Wheezy says:
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    Thoughts on this trade..

    I would send Martavis Bryant and Ty Montgomery and receive OBJ and Frank Gore.

    with trade, receivers would be Julio, OBJ, Tyreek Hill, D Parker and Cobb
    RBs would be Gurley, Gore, Fat Rob, Tevin Coleman, Jeremy Hill

    Thanks in Advance!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Wheezy: I like it for you, I’d do it.

  14. Sam says:
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    So this one sounds like a no-brainer but, should I trade Hunter Henry for Pryor? I just really don’t think Pryor is a good WR and think Henry can really break out this year. But, he’s on my bench behind Ertz right now, but we have a TE-eligible flex spot. Thanks for your thoughts!

    • Alfred E. Naujocks says:
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      @Sam: no brainer.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Sam: Yup, no brainer. Go for it.

  15. William Hung says:
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    So Kittle bombed out – so happy I dropped him for Kendall Wright before the game yesterday. Now that Gates got his TD, I feel like I need a TE that’ll have more opportunities than Gates – Do you think Austin-Jenkins will be a decent TE play in .5 PPR?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @William Hung: Yeah, I think he’s a guy to keep an eye on in PPR. Feel like I’ve been saying it for too long though, so it’s probably measured.

  16. Mel says:
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    Hey Jay,
    I just lost Olsen as my TE, in my keeper ppr league. Witten, Doyle, Watson, Clay, Dickson, Miller, James,njoku, gates, engram, ASJ, and Julius Thomas are all available. I have the #2 claim in the waiver order this week and if I don’t get Perrine, I’ll grab a TE. Of these guys available to fill my roster spot, which TE is the best option?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mel: I’d go with Witten.

  17. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    16 team dynasty PPR. i’m ARI and need at least 7 ARI players (IR slots count)
    QB (1) palmer/flacco
    RB (2, max 6) hyde/stewart/prosise/j.allen/perine/k.williams
    WR (3, max 7) evans/garcon/mart bryant/t.will (LAC)/treadwell
    TE (1, max 3) ertz/ebron
    IR m.williams/d.johnson/m.floyd/hightower/j.brown/lad green
    K ARI
    DEF ARI
    LB (2, 3) kirksey/ogletree
    DB (2, 3) barron/mathieu/addae
    DL (2, 3) campbell/hayward
    IR bucannon/burfict/freeman/levy

    is this the best order for waivering (the drops being k.will and prosise):
    higgins/j.richard/c.johnson

  18. Waiver it up says:
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    10 team 2 QB league. I currently have Winston and Taylor. Taylor has been…a disappointment. Wire includes Palmer, Kizer, Brissett, Watson, McCown, Glennon, Goff, Bortles, and Hoyer, none of whom I am excited about. Any reason to swap Tyrod out for one of these guys, or just hold tight and hope the Bills get some offense going (ugh)? Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Waiver it up: Yeah, I’m disappointed too, but I don’t see an obvious upgrade. I think hold until something happens.

  19. Hammer says:
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    Falcons stadium must be called “Megatron’s Butthole”. There simply is no other choice.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Hammer: Haha, yeah, that would be better I think.

  20. Tony says:
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    Acquire Cooper and McCaffrey + a 2nd round pick for Leveon Bell in a 4 keeper PPR league? I have Ajayi, Allen and Doug Martin but I’m 0-2

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tony: Hmm, tough one. I’d say no, simply because you want to always be condensing your keepers, even with the slow start.

  21. Nick says:
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    Morning Jay – another rough week leading to 0-2 despite Brady going off…anyways, I think I need a backup TE as Graham might not play next week. On my bench I have Garcon, K Williams, Amendola, M Jones, R Kelley & DJ.

    1) in what order should I drop those guys to fill out a more useful bench? I have A Cooper/Watkins/Kupp sitting at WR while Lynch & Abdullah fill up RB & J Allen is flexing. This is not a deep league, 10-teamer

    2) for TE, rank these guys to pickup based on most likely using next week to fill in for Graham & potentially future weeks if necessary; Witten, Ebron, Fleener

    3) Would you let go of Garcon or Amendola for J Nelson, Higgins, Kearse or Hurns/M Lee?

    4) at RB I do not think there is much out there in D Foreman, Mack or Bernard over my bench, correct?

    5) Lastly, for D next week, stick with Baltimore in Jax or go with Pitt @ Chi or LAR @ SF?

    Thanks as always bud!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: Hey Nick! Yeah, I actually like your bench. I think maybe Amendola for something out there, probably Garcon too. I do like Witten there to stream if Graham doesn’t go. I wouldn’t mind Amendola for Nelson or Lee. Kearse is interesting too. I’d probably do Amendola for Kearse just to see what happens.

      Yeah, your RBs are fine. And right now, feeling LAR, but double check my rankings Thursday.

      • Nick says:
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        @Jay: is David Johnson droppable now or hold him & try to trade to someone in better shape?

        • Nick says:
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          @Nick: Forgot, Moncrief was also dropped, do ya like him over any of those as well?

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @Nick: naw, not really.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Nick: I’d still hold just in case.

  22. Tony says:
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    Buck Allen and Chris Carson are both on the waivers this week. I would need to drop Perkins for either. Would you do it? Which would you prefer?

    • Tony says:
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      @Tony: Chris Thompson available as well. Standard-12 team

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Tony: perkins def drop for either. the 2nd question not as easy. probably j.allen though, his line isn’t complete trash and has PPR value even if t.west gets healthy sooner.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Tony: oh wow, just read this. Tough, I’d probably want Thompson instead. Barely.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tony: I would, and for Carson.

  23. Chad B says:
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    RBs are Howard, Gurley, Murray/Henry, Forte and Kerwynn
    WRs are Julio, Sanders, Tyrell Williams, and Wallace

    Start 2 Rbs and 3 wrs, non Ppr

    Do I deal Gurley for Cooper?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Chad B: hold for now. Howard been shaky .

  24. Brian says:
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    Hey Jay,

    I know your rankings come out on Thursday but for waiver purposes, in what order would you go after the following D/STs? I am dropping the Raiders:

    Pats, Eagles, Dolphins, Packers

    Much appreciated

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @Brian: this might be somewhat helpful, over at FP if we remove anybody ranked lower than 30 (leaving only 4 guys at this early date), then index it by average.
      MIA @ NYJ (3rd this is king hell streamer of the week)
      NE vs HOU (4th)
      GB vs CIN (6th)
      PHI vs NYG (8th)
      so they’re all up there though. i’m going over these and kicker myself.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Brian: I think Pats there.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Brian: actually, what plaza said is legit.

  25. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    finally a league where i have no real fears, just some tweaks (wallace mostly). 14 team PPR
    QB (1) RW3 (getting actually very scared here of that line)/cutler
    RB (2) crowell/hunt/c.west/j.allen/t.west (so in the short term it’s good t.west is injured in this league)/stewart
    WR (3) fitz/parker/a.brown/beasley/wallace
    TE z.miller
    1 flex
    IR fuller (sounds back sooner than we thought by a lot, who could take wallace’s spot)/fiedor
    1. finally time to come around on semien (not the FACE), this might be last chance to get and stash him in case RW3 ends up like the 15th QB this year or worse. FAAB league here. FP likes cutler @ NYJ better THIS week, but that’s not what i’m worried about of course.

    2. guessing i’m better off holding my RB rather than grabbing richard? got my double handcuff thing going on.

    3. wallace for now, best replacement order: higgins/coleman (NO)/wheaton/d.thompson

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: It’s weird to say, but yeah, Semien long term barely over Cutler. And yeah, holding is good. I like that order.

  26. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    more RW3 fears. 12 team PPR. pretty good everywhere else (excepting clay’s BUF offense)
    QB RW3
    RB (2) hunt/cook/t.west/coleman/c.west/mack (he’s the drop for a QB)
    WR (3) a.brown/DT/fitz/parker/lee/maclin (too good at WR maybe, hard decisions each week)
    TE (1) clay
    K streamer
    DEF CAR
    this best order for ROS QB (it’s no longer about just for RW’s off week) semien/bradford/cutler/goff/flacco

    2. as a hunt owner best off holding c.west or grabbing one of richard/duke johnson/burkhead/smallwood?

    3. clay or witten (witten’s been stealing a lot of beasley work thus far)

  27. Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season says:
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    2 12 teamers with weakish RB and/or WR issues. PPR full both
    1. QB winston/bradford (still held him after how good week 1 went)
    RB start 2, hunt, howard, vereen, forte, t.west, k.williams
    WR 2, green, d.thomas, fitzgerald, lockett (kick return yards worth same as scrimmage)
    t.will (LAC)
    TE rudolph
    1 flex
    K streamer
    DEF streamer
    best order for waivering (the RB drop being k.will ARI, the WR being t.will LAC)
    1.1 c.johnson/richard (for k.will ARI)
    1.2 nelson, kearse, hurns, higgins (stop me where you’d hold t.will LAC)
    1.3 hold bradford or go simian?

    2. PPR 20 return yards per point
    QB (1) brees/rivers
    RB (2) m.gordon, hyde, kamara, breida, j.will GB, k.will ARI
    WR (3) benjamin, crabtree, dez, j.brown, kupp
    TE (1) bennett
    no flex
    K bailey
    DEF streamer
    2.1. drop at least k.will if not BOTH the williams’ for this order of: richard, burkhead, mckinnon
    duke johnson, smallwood?

    2.2. drop j.brown for best order of: kearse, higgins, coleman (NO), and i’m assuming hold kupp here.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season: 1.1 yeah, I like it. 1.2 I think before Burns. But it’s risky. 1.3 Hold. Winston should be good. 2.1 Yeah, that’s a good order. 2.2 Hold Kupp, and I like that order .

  28. For an Armenianless Vacation come to Akron says:
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    20 team PPR. only one possible drop, a.stewart NYJ
    QB stafford/bortles
    RB (2) gurley/j.allen/t.west/forte/j.williams GB
    WR (3) hill, beasley, crabtree, kerley, d.thompson, a.stewart

    best order of dropping stewart: higgins, treadwell, humphries, r.louis (CLE), bellamy, wilson (KC), erickson. bellamy would be higher except him and d.thompson are going to lose value for sure when wheaton’s back.

  29. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Jay. Should I drop Ginn for Kearse or Higgins in a full point ppr league? Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jerry: I’d say Kearse. NP!

  30. For an Armenianless Vacation come to Akron says:
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    for super flex dynasties, rank cj beathard (hoyer’s backup), hogan (HOU’s that played while rookie had migranes), kaepernicking, palmer’s backup.

    • For an Armenianless Vacation come to Akron says:
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      @For an Armenianless Vacation come to Akron: oops, hogan played over the CLE rookie when that guy had what pretty much had to be concussion symptoms (or pesticides in his weed, which is the only way i’ve had a migraine, LIKELY, it was once)

        • For an Armenianless Vacation come to Akron says:
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          @Jay: i only had a migraine once, and only thing i could think of was that for why. it was bad. like worried about brain tumor bad if it lasted longer than the 5 or so hours it did.

  31. fudgemybudge says:
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    10t standard:
    bench spot drop p perkins for:
    duke johnson
    rawls
    jalen richard
    c johnson

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @fudgemybudge: Kinda tough, but probably Rawls, then the Duke there.

  32. fudgemybudge says:
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    would u hold olsen with no IR spot in a 14t half-ppr league and the following starting:
    1 rb
    2 wr
    1 te (have kelce)
    2 flex

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @fudgemybudge: Yes I would, but I know it’ll be tough. I’d try until I couldn’t anymore.

  33. RICE says:
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    That whole write-up was amazing.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @RICE: Thanks Rice!

  34. Grey

    Grey says:
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    I want a shirt that says “Paprika is for men.”

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      But shirts are only for women!

  35. Mike says:
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    Hey Jay,

    Think getting Matt Ryan for Kelvin is worth it? Have some wr depth — AB, Hopkins, Kendall Wright, marquis lee. Need 2 and flex (ingram involved on flex side). Have cousins as qb and he’s been a disaster..

    Thanks.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mike: It’s an okay trade, sure, but I think trying out Cousins one more week is worth it.

      • Mike says:
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        Would it change your view if eiffert gets thrown in on Ryan side? I know he’s been a bum but I need te help..

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Mike: Yeah, it’s a better deal for you. If you’re desperate, go for it.

  36. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Jay. Funchess, Ginn or Sanu for wr depth in a full point ppr league? Thanks and enjoy the weekend!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jerry: I’d say Ginn, and you too!

  37. goodfold2 says:
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    12 teamer .2 PPR with deep benches.
    QB (1, max 3) dak/bradford/flacco
    RB (3, max 6) howard, mccoy, montgomery, j.will GB, mack, t.west (gonna have an UGLY week if t.west and howard are limited or out again)
    WR (3, max 6) jordy/julio/jeffery/hurns/britt/fuller
    TE (1, max 4) ertz/cook/kittle
    2 flexes
    IR fiedor
    K (1, max 3) OAK’s kicker
    DEF (1, max 2) BAL/CAR
    LB (2, max 4) ogletree, kirksey, t.smith
    DL (2, max 4) griffen, hunter, l.williams
    DB (2, max 4) church, h.smith, neal

    so i got probably at least mack and britt and kittle to drop.
    1. best order for mack drop (stop me when it’s gone too far): darkwa, smallwood, tolbert, breida and what about conner, mal brown (LAR), morris or keep those behind mack

    2. WR order (dropping britt): kearse, higgins, stills, richardson, wheaton, kerley, t.will (DAL), funchess, rogers, treadwell, d.thompson

    3. TE (dropping kittle): engram, everett, watson

    as always (or usually) the order RB/WR/TE. certainly in my case with the RB’s.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @goodfold2: After Smallwood. And I like Kearse there, de facto WR1 for the Jets so far, not worth much, but something. And Engram.

  38. Oliver says:
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    You jest, but the player tied for first in my league rolls with Derek Carr, Marshawn, and Crabtree every week. As a Raider fan, I hate him, because when I play him, I have to root against my team. I am in true first place (more points), however, so I am not too concerned.

    How long do I stick with Cousins? Wentz and Siemian are both on waivers.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Oliver: Ugh, I hate that. I think one more week… maybe two based on those options, and then streaming might be a way to go.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Oliver: i’d venture to guess that anybody that drafted lynch at that price won’t likely be in 1st in points (hell he already isn’t) unless he was also smart/lucky enough to also draft hunt (and later he’ll replace lynch with hunt as starter if he hasn’t already). carr’s price was awesome so that will help him.

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