Uhhhhh… are you pointing at me? That look feels like sexual assault…
The tale of how these teams fared last week couldn’t be more opposite than actual Jets and actual Bears. Missiles and salmon bro… totally different. Trailing by 17 before the half, the Chicago Bears rallied on the road in the 49ers home opener, probably causing at least three stabbings in the parking lot. On the flip side, the Jets led the hapless 2014 Packers 21-3 before the half, before they proceeded to do the Jetsiest thing imaginable and lose 31-24. The cherry on top was a 37-yard touchdown that would have brought them within one point with five minutes to go, but was negated by a Jets timeout. Mmmmm, so Jetsy. Will we get a combination of both dramatics and derpiness for tonight’s Monday Night Football game? With Jay Cutler and Geno Smith, anything is possible folks.
Note: I still have some wine left from SNF, so here we go again. I’ll be drinking a shiraz via Yellow Tail.
Take one sip of wine if…
Chris Berman Berman’s all over the place.
Rex Ryan looks frustrated at something.
Geno Smith over throws or under throws his receiver by 5 yards.
Jay Cutler runs for his life and makes a hasty decision.
Chris Conte does something stupid.
You get really confused why they keep showing this old white guy on the sideline, then remember Lovie Smith isn’t the coach anymore.
Finish your glass if…
Steve Young says something stupid and/or redundant.
Brandon Marshall makes a one-handed catch.
You see Jay Cutler make this face:
Totally Legitimate Game Prediction:
Bears – 20, one point for each cigarette Cutler smokes after a game.
Jets – LOL.