These are not your father’s Patriots. Mostly because they sucked more back then. But here in the 21st century, we are used to the Greatriots. Not so much anymore. More like the Mediocriots, amiright? Tom Brady, the Uggs Overlord himself, is ranked 30th in the league with just 5.54 yards per attempt, and has just completed 1 of his 13 attempts of 21 yards or longer downfield. While not exactly elite receivers, both Danny Amendola and Brandon Lafell have just four catches on the season. Sure, some of this probably has something to do with shoddy offensive line play and an ineffective running game, but at the end of the day, who cares? The sweet sweet schadenfreude is there for the taking. On the other side, you have an Andy Reid led Chiefs that has a defense regarded highly as the hottest garbage available at the moment. But good news, Jamaal Charles, through some medical miracle, is set to start tonight after
tearing his ACL, receiving a leg contusion, suffering a high-ankle sprain. So that should be fun to watch.
Note: I’ll be doing Kona Brewery Longboard for the beer portion, and Jameson for the shots portion.
Take one sip of beer if…
Alex Smith checks down.
Tom Brady acts like a total b*tch when someone touches him.
Gruden says something that is complete nonsense.
Bill Belichick causes you to experience an emotion.
Mike Tirico asks a question that nobody answers.
Jamaal Charles isn’t involved in the play but should have been.
Take one shot of liquor if…
Andy Reid calls a dumb timeout.
Aaron Hernandez is mentioned.
Finish all the alchohal in your house if…
Totally Legitmate Game Prediction
Chiefs – 31 (Timeouts Andy Reid will eat.)