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Our football cuppeth runneth over…eth… I guess? With another Sunday in the books, Monday Night Football has arrived, just in time to give us a reason to drink for at least three hours tonight. Or maybe that’s just me. But it won’t be once this game gets started. While you could find reasons to support tonight’s affair being a trap game for the heavily favored Seahawks, I assure you, it would take a meteor dropping down in Landover, MD of epic dinosaur extinction proportions to affect the outcome of this game. And I hate to tell ya, but Bruce Willis is still alive and well. So, we must drink! Coming off a bye, the Seahawks have also won eight straight Monday night games and still have an elite defense that will face Kirk Cousins, who is coming off a career-high four interception game. Should be a mix better made for a Thursday Night Football game. Then again, as my Chargers proved, the Seahawks aren’t as dominating when outside the proximity of fish-throwers and Space Needles and smarmy coffee drinkers, but you’d have to think a functional defense would help here. Washington… does not have that.

 

Drinking Game

Note: I’ll be doing Stella Artois for the beer portion, and Vodka for the shots portion.

Take one sip of beer if…

RG3’s injuries (knee or ankle) are mentioned in any context.

Kirk Cousins and the word “leader” or “leadership” are used in the same hot take.

Kirk Cousins totally whiffs on a receiver.

Pete Carroll acts like a douche. Take baby sips.

Any Washington D.C. monument is shown.

Take one shot of liquor if…

Jay Gruden looks clueless as to what is going on.

Russel Wilson bullsh*ts his way out of a sack.

The name change is brought up in any way, shape, or form.

 

Totally Legitmate Game Prediction

Seahawks – 49,684,651,648,965,416,514, and that’s just the first quarter.

Washington Football Team – 0. The amount of money that the public relations arm of the team has earned through their hard work.

  1. Andrew T Davis says:
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    Better stash Mathews or jennings?

  2. Chuckles Tiddlesworth says:
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    Yeah! Putting some tarps over the couches and floor before setting out the Stella and Kirkland vodka. This is gonna get messy.

  3. Dom B says:
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    Hey Jay in trade negotiations so I have Roddy white, Michael Crabtree, and ty Hilton and on RB I have Eddie lacy, Andre Ellington, fred Jackson, Doug martin, and Ben tate. Out of these what should I do I send Ben Tate and Ben Tate and I receive kelvin Benjamin and justin forsett or should I do kelvin Benjamin and Michael Floyd either for both Ben Tate and Doug Martin or keep my team Thamks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dom B: I like your team. But the Tate for Benjamin and Forsett I think is good for you.

  4. Dom B says:
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    Jay it was Ben Tate and Doug Martin for Kelvin Benjamin and Forsett should I do it

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dom B: Oh, I see. Then I would hold there.

  5. ashtray says:
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    How many drinks for gruden using a friggin shovel as a prop during the pre-game commentary?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @ashtray: Everything in your house.

  6. Dan says:
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    I’ve gt a bit of RB2 depth and another owner that has no RBs after Ball got injured. He is willing to part with Victor Cruz or Pierre Garcon and Montee Ball for 2 of my four (Bradshaw, Reggie Bush, Asiata, and Andre Williams). He agreed to Cruz/Ball for Bradshaw/Bush. Do it or try a different combo? Both Cruz and Garcon are probably better than any of my WRs (Benjamin, Wallace, Edelman). Its a 14-team PPR and I am in 1st place thanks to some favorable matchups. Any help is appreciated.

    • Dan says:
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      @Dan: I should probably clarify that my RB1 is Lacy.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Dan: Oh, I had that deal in reverse for some reason. Yeah, I like that deal for you then.

        • Dan says:
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          @Jay: oh nice, thanks man! Love the site.

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @Dan: Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dan: Try a different combo, I think you are giving up too much there for Brad and Bush.

      • Dan says:
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        @Jay: you think Cruz/Ball is too much for Bradshaw/Bush??

  7. Nick says:
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    Hey Jay, I laughed at this trade offer of Ivory/Decker for my Ingram in a 10team non-ppr…he obviously offered this as I’m at Jet fan :(

    Anyways, he has Cruz, Hopkins, McCoy, Stacy, A Johnson, Ridley & Forsett..my team is as follows;

    Rodgers
    Cobb, Edelman, Wallace, Beckham
    Murray, R Jennings (out) , Asiata, McKinnon, Ingram (out), Matthews (out) Hyde & A. Williams

    Any counter offers you like considering he wants Ingaram & I could use WR depth or RB depth for the next few weeks…

    • Nick says:
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      @Nick: BTW he has Rivers & just changed his team name to ‘ICUMSOHARDIPHILRIVERS’…thought that might be relevant, haha

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Nick: That’s the name of my biography.

        • Nick says:
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          @Jay: really?! what are the chances…ill try for Hopkins…I have OD Beckham & R Jennings/A. Williams…cant have to many Giants (especially as Jet fan, its a surprising roster I built — but the best yet w/o a Jet)

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @Nick: Shot in the dark, but it’s not crazy if he needs a RB.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: I’d try to do Ingram for Hopkins or Cruz, try and upgrade your WR corps.

      • Nick says:
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        @Jay: Actually, after looking at cruz & hopkins stats, Im leaning Cruz…what do you think?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Nick: Cruz could be cheaper because of the last game, better chance.

          • Nick says:
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            But you think Hopkins is better than Cruz?

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Nick: Nope.

  8. Tom says:
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    Hey Jay is Oliver or Hillman worth a pick up over J. Hill

    Streaming TE

    Wright
    Watson
    Ford

    Thanks,

    • Tom says:
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      @Tom: Never mind watson he is on bye

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tom: Hmm, they are around the same area. I’d keep Hill. And double check my Thursday rankings, but I might go Wright there.

  9. Dom B says:
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    Do you think Crabtree and White will turn it around cause I didn’t do the kelvin Benjamin and Justin forsett trade and combined Crabtree and white scored 4 pts are they worth have as my 2 best WR

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dom B: I do think they will somewhat. They aren’t this bad.

  10. Dom B says:
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    Thanks Jay!!!

  11. Dom B says:
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    One last thing I got the guy to accept it it is Ben Tate for Kelvin Benjamin good or bad? And rate in order for best Kelvin Benjamin, crabtree, and white

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Dom B: White, Benjamin, Crabtree. It’s okay, sure.

  12. Wilsonian says:
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    Is there any world where it would be ok to trade Graham for J. Thomas? I need a damn TE for the week and can’t work out much and there isn’t anything on the wire other than Wright or Reed (if he ever plays). I’d have to drop Kelce to get one of those, too.

    • Mantis Toboggan MD says:
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      @Wilsonian: if reed doesn’t play this coming week you could probably trade kelce to somebody for better than waiver TE, unless you are in league where you actually have a flex that you use kelce at (in which case kelce has actual value for you if he’s your best or even 2nd best flex option). orange julius isn’t that far worse than graham, you could see if opp would throw in one of his shitty RB or WR and you could throw in an even shittier one of your RB or WR and send graham with it to get JT and a shitty RB/WR. Unless you really think Graham is that much better than JT. If Reed does play (and you already only have Kelce as backup) just drop Kelce for Reed.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Wilsonian: Yeah, Mantis has it down.

      • Mantis Toboggan MD says:
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        @Jay: as these magnum condoms might indicate, to the ground.

  13. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    good thing i’m either winning or losing by enough in 3 leagues that garcon being forgotten about existing won’t hurt bad enough. probably gonna have to drop ASJ for Owen D or Wright or somebody in one league (i actually did use owen in the league that i could get reed later this week, went ASJ in league where only t.wright and owen are useful available TE’s, expecting ASJ possible breakout, and waiver rush), if garcon does have a good 2nd half (17.4 pts in 2nd half, ain’t gonna happen), it will be ASJ over owen that matters. i could’ve just went Wayne in one league or Wright/T.will in a different one and just dodged SEA altogether. RB pickup questions.
    1. with miller/charles/bell/a.williams/ridley i’m very glad you advised me i think last week to grab a.williams. i won’t need him without injury but good work.
    2. with rainey/s-jax/miller/mathews/ingram/vereen in PPR is order of dropping rainey oliver/hillman? there’s nearly no way i get either with 10th at best waiver.
    3. PPR with 2 RB and 1 flex. roster is ivory/CJ fractions of K/murray/stacy/ingram is this the CJfractions of K drop order. i’ll be 11th in waivers so likely won’t get any, but might was well try. a.williams (probably should have stashed him over CJ earlier)/hillman/cunningham, or would cunningham move ahead since i own stacy? (i’ve heard stacy’s issue isn’t huge)

    • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: even in garbage time garcon gets no looks. should we be looking for injury here? wish i would’ve had enough balls to go off rankings (of everyone, not meaning you), would’ve only lost by 2.3, by putting in T.Will. i never realistically would have put in k.wright, so i can’t be worried about that.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: wait, he did get 1 decent gain in garbage time. oops.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: I mean, Sherman did hold him pretty good on what would have been a potential big gain in the 2nd quarter. It’s just a bad matchup, let’s see how it develops. 1. thanks!, 2.Rainey and Sjax are droppable, and I’d try your best at nabbing either. Hillman might be your bet, as Oliver looked real good. 3. I’d try Williams over CJ at this point. You probably won’t get him, but I think CJ is in a place where you wouldn’t kick yourself the ROS dropping him.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Jay: they didn’t call anything both ways concerning him, there was another play where garcon pulled sherman down by his hair (which i’d be surprised if that doesn’t happen all the time, and i’d be even more surprised if a lot of people’s dreds don’t in fact get ripped out (not intentionally, necessarily) on tackles, esp to in those huge piles of bodies) often.
        in #3, hillman and cunningham over CJ as well, the waiver order would be williams/hillman/cunningham of course?

  14. Wilsonian says:
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    What about Kelce and Wallace for Cameron and DJax? Back to my need for a TE for next week…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Wilsonian: I like that trade for you, but it’s close.

  15. timetoshakeitup says:
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    keeper league question! $10 is the minimum price you can be kept.

    ($10) montee ball, ($13) le’veon bell, $10 terrance williams, delanie walker, andre johnson, tony romo

    FOR

    $10 demeryius, $50 demarco murray,$10 kelvin benjamin, greg jennings, stevan ridley

    • timetoshakeitup says:
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      @timetoshakeitup: also, sub in keenan allen over andre, or cam newton over romos. does it change anything?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @timetoshakeitup: I’d want the Bell side, seems to be more value all around.

  16. SMLV1 says:
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    1. Lose Stacy, Bradshaw, K. Robinson or McKinnon for any of these? Tate, A. Wiliams, Oliver, A. Smith, F. Jackson, Moreno or Hillman?

    2. Will need a TE with Kelce on bye. Who is the drop? MY Team –
    Qb – Ryan
    WR – Nelson, Cruz, A. Johnson, T. Williams, Wayne and J. Gordon
    RB – Lacy, Stacy, Bradshaw, McKinnon and Robinson
    TE – Kelce
    K- Parkey
    DEF- Detroit

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @SMLV1: Mck for a TE.

  17. SMLV1 says:
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    Who do you think I should pick in my Stay Alive Football Game? Keep in mind I choose the Eagles last week. I can no longer choose them the rest of the season.

    Sunday October 12
    Chicago at Atlanta
    New England at Buffalo
    Carolina at Cincinnati
    Pittsburgh at Cleveland
    Jacksonville at Tennessee
    Green Bay at Miami
    Detroit at Minnesota
    Denver at NY Jets
    Baltimore at Tampa Bay
    San Diego at Oakland
    Dallas at Seattle
    Washington at Arizona
    NY Giants at Philadelphia

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @SMLV1: Survivor league? I’d go San Diego.

  18. Adam says:
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    Would you trade McCoy for Bernard or Ellington in a deep +1 PPR league?

    I’m off to a 4-1 start and can afford to be patient, but with McCoy’s struggles and a week 14 matchup vs SEA, I’m thinking I might want to trade him for a lesser name.

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