Someone give the guy a cigarette and get it over with…

A last minute intake of Skittles wasn’t enough to fix Marshawn Lynch’s hamstring this past weekend, so the Seahawks will be hosting the Lions for Monday Night Football without their star running back. But that’s okay, because they have this thing called Jimmy Graham, who, if you didn’t know, used to play basketball. They also have a Kam Chancellor back, his second game now, who is a prominant part of the infamous “Legion of Boom”, which… has lost a little bit of the boom lately, but none of their boom-mouth or boom-swagger. But at least Richard Sherman has found other hobbies, like buying pizza with his phone. Hey, some people need goals to motivate them, so I hope that biting a piece of pizza will help him not bite on double-moves so often. They also have a thing called Thomas Rawls, who rushed for 104 yards agains the Bears in Week 3. To be fair though, I could probably rush 100+ yards against the Bears. But with the Lions at a dangerous precipice at 0-3, they find themselves in a desperate situation with the possibility of falling four games behind the 4-0 Packers. To be fair though, that seems like familiar territory for the Lions… Oh, and as a former resident of over eight years in the fine city of Seattle, please, don’t come out of this game thinking the only two things we have in the city is the Space Needle and people throwing fish. DON’T BELIEVE THEIR LIES.

 

By the Numbers

gvPUxhk

6 – Six straight home wins for the Seahawks as they go for seven tonight.

395.7 – Detroit is allowing 395.7 yards per game.

27.7 – Detroit is allowing 27.7 points a game.

27.70 – The cost of a small coffee in Seattle.

 

Drinking Game

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Take one sip of beer if…

Matthew Stafford throws it to someone not named Johnson.

Ray Lewis gets into a stabby mood.

Golden Tate does something d*ckish.

Chris Berman says something stupid.

Pete Carroll actually doesn’t look douchy.

Pete Carroll acts like a douche.

Take one shot of liquor if…

Megatron jumps 10 feet in the air for a causal catch.

You see the Space Needle.

Someone says “Super Bowl hangover”.

Every time Russell Wilson bullsh*ts his way out of a sack.

 

Totally Legitimate Game Prediction

lionsbitch

Lions – 7 (Also the number of interceptions by Matthew Stafford.)

Seahawks – #RecoveryWater.

 

 

  1. Brew says:
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    Abdullah or Rawls tonight?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      I have Ameer by one spot. It’s literally a coin flip in my rankings.

  2. Scooter G says:
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    I was offered C Hyde for Gore in 10 team standard. Everyone is freaking out about the 49ers “sinking ship” but Gore isn’t exactly inspiring confidence himself. Which side do you prefer?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scooter G: Hyde. Colts are talking with Bradshaw, which might complicate things.

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Jay: that was also reported weeks ago, and nothing came of it. maybe IND forgot they meant to talk to bradshaw and took 3 weeks to return his call, cause this is what it sounds like.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @goodfold2: That’s true, but I think something escalated recently. Probably Pagano’s lack of job security.

  3. JB says:
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    was offered hopkins for my arian foster. ppr league i have ingram, gurley and abdullah (start 2 RB, 3 WR, TE. no flex) fitzgerald, garçon, davante adams, james jones and Dez as my WR….what do you think

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @JB: I’d hold.

  4. STL says:
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    Dez and Latavius Murray for Jamaal Charles – PPR – Which side wins?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @STL: Charles slightly. Can you afford to lose Dez?

      • STL says:
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        @Jay:

        I’m not sure, but I think so. 12 team PPR

        QB: Cam, Tannehill
        RB: Foster, Murray, Woodhead, JStew, Karlos Williams
        WR: Antonio Brown, Dez, Allen Robinson, Alshon Jeffrey,
        TE: Jordan Reed

        Do you see a better trade offer I can make with that lineup?

        • STL says:
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          @STL: Also, this is quite possibly the most fragile team I could have possibly put together.

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @STL: Haha, that too.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @STL: I think you can, but it depends on Alshon coming back and Robinson keeping up. Not a terrible bet.

          • STL says:
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            @Jay:

            Thanks! Always appreciate the advice. I have a hard time looking at my teams through an unbiased lens on offers like this.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @STL: Any time!

  5. Bigdog says:
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    Out of Aiken, tavon Austin, and willie Snead who do think has the most value?? Trying to decide who to pick up.. I feel like tavon has Been here/done that and that offense is awful. Snead I feel is real tricky. Young, new, Bree’s seems to be looking his way a lot and climbing the depth chart every week.

    Also any early hints on this weeks streaming defense since I have Carolina on bye? What teams should i look to stream against? Jamies has been paying me dividends this far is it too risky to roll with the jags?

    Thanks..!

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @Bigdog: NYG are playing SF, that’s gotta be best streamer D of the week.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Bigdog: Probably Aiken this moment. But Snead is right there. Goodfold has a nice matchup, I like that one a lot.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Bigdog: I should add, just scheduled Doug’s post today, and he goes into detail on Tavon Austin as a pick up, you should check it out at 10:00 am PDT…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Bigdog: Haha, actually, just scheduled a player spotlight today at 900 AM specifically focusing on Tavon Austin. Makes some great points, I have to say.

  6. ashtray says:
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    These gifs are consistently hilarious. Where do they come from?

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