At least, that’s what it looked like on my television. Alright, time to watch some football, let’s check out and see who’s playing… DEAR SWEET LORD, WHAT HAVE WE DONE. In between screaming “MY EYES!” and wondering if we’d finally get to watch the ever elusive halftime head coach firing (though, Gus Bradley continues to be an excellent high school football coach), there was an NFL game somewhere in there… I think? Listen, I very well may touch myself, but nothing I’ve ever done in my life makes me think I deserved that game. And granted, it’s Friday, always a plus, but forgive me if this lede spends more time complaining than analyzing. I mean, if the NFL isn’t going to bother with showing professional teams in prime time, I’m not going to bother giving much analytical thought. Well, except for one: Bortles is probably going to be a top-5 quarterback in fantasy this week. Let THAT sink in for a second…
If you haven’t yet, I’d encourage everyone to read Richard Sherman’s take on the hypocrisy of the NFL. Teaser: It was amazing.
Blake Bortles – 33/54, 337 YDS, 6.2 AVG, 3 TD, 97.5 RTG and 4 CAR, 22 YDS, 5.5 AVG, 12 LONG. Garbage time, thy name is Bortles. Don’t let the numbers fool you, both him and the Jags looked worse and worse at football as the night went on, even with the Titans not even taking the game seriously after the first quarter… I mean, I’m not sure I’ve ever seen a team run a prevent defense for three quarters. Talk about Bortles doing a great job running the hurry-nope offense…
Chris Ivory – 4 CAR, 6 YDS, 1.5 AVG, 4 LONG and 1 REC, 6 YDS, 6.0 AVG, 6 LONG, 1 TGTS. Seriously, what the f*ck? And not in the homemade pornography film sort of way…
Marqise Lee – 1 REC, 21 YDS, 21.0 AVG, 21 LONG, 3 TGTS, 1 FUM. Woohoo! 0.3 fantasy points!
Marcus Mariota – 18/22, 270 YDS, 12.3 AVG, 2 TD, 148.1 RTG and 3 CAR, 11 YDS, 3.7 AVG, 7 LONG. After watching Mariota’s performance last night, I’ve come to the conclusion that the expression “borrowed time” includes a picture of Gus Bradley’s W-2 form.
Allen Robinson – 6 REC, 70 YDS, 11.7 AVG, 21 LONG, 15 TGTS. I keep starting Allen Robinson like I expect something different to happen.
Kendall Wright – 4 REC, 84 YDS, 21.0 AVG, 1 TD, 36 LONG, 5 TGTS. Is this what they are attempting to do now with Wright? Make him relevant? I’m honestly confused.
T.J. Yeldon – 3 CAR, 20 YDS, 6.7 AVG, 12 LONG and 4 REC, 36 YDS, 9.0 AVG, 12 LONG, 4 TGTS. I know there’s no justification for it, but I just get the feeling that he’s the second coming of Trent Richardson. Or maybe I’m just thinking of the Jaguars at large? Yeah… that’s probably it.
Final Thought
It’s over… mercifully at last, it is over.
