Razzball's Picks, 2016 Fantasy Football

Ah yes, so we meet again… wait, did we actually formally meet? I mean, technically we’re meeting again, we’ve done this before… but did we really meet? Of course I’m an existential crisis waiting to happen, but that’s only because clinical depression requires so much work. I mean, I’d rather jog than emo, ya know? But back to where we started, this is your (and “our” I suppose) official 2016 Razzball picks. Or selections. Or whatever nomenclature you prefer. I guess whatever it takes for me not to force you to read word “nomenclature” over and over again. We do this because, frankly, we just can’t write about everyone and everything that we love or hate. I mean, we’re talking about 1,696 players here. And so this is the quick and easy “viewer-friendly” version that allows you to quickly see our likes/dislikes/predictions for all of you to promptly point and giggle at…

Note: Everyone chose their picks blind, meaning they didn’t see anyone else’s choices, and possibly used a blindfold. Also, the choices were locked on 9/4/2016.

National League Football Picks

Writer	Surprise Playoff Team	Surprise Letdown Team	AFCCG	NFCCG	Super Bowl	SB Champions
Alex	Raiders	Steelers	Patriots – Bengals	Cardinals – Packers	Cardinals – Patriots	Cardinals
Evan	Dolphins	Bengals	Steelers – Patriots	Cardinals – Panthers	Cardinals – Patriots	Cardinals
Honcho	Lions	Texans	Steelers – Patriots	Seahawks – Packers	Seahawks – Steelers	Seahawks
Jay	Buccaneers	Cardinals	Chargers – Steelers	Giants – Panthers	Chargers – Giants	Chargers (LOL)
Jen	Bills	Panthers	Steelers – Patriots	Cardinals – Packers	Patriots – Packers	Patriots
Lance	Raiders	Cardinals	Raiders – Patriots	Panthers – Giants	Panthers – Patriots	Panthers
M@	Raiders	Broncos	Steelers – Patriots	Cardinals – Packers	Arizona – Pittsburgh	Steelers
Maher	Raiders	Washington	Chiefs – Patriots	Packers – Panthers	Packers – Patriots	Patriots
mala	Giants	Panthers	Patriots – Steelers	Packers – Cardinals	Patriots – Packers	Patriots
MB	Giants	Panthers	Patriots – Steelers	Cardinals – Packers	Cardinals – Patriots	Cardinals
SON	Raiders	Panthers	Patriots – Chiefs	Packers – Seahawks	Patriots – Packers	Packers
Tehol	Jaguars	Panthers	Broncos – Patriots	Cardinals – Seahawks	Seahawks – Patriots	Seahawks
Zach	Buccaneers	Steelers	Patriots – Raiders	Cardinals – Packers	Patriots – Cardinals	Cardinals

Fantasy Football Picks

Writer	MVP	Sleeper	Bust	Infatuation	Come Back	RoY
Alex	Keenan Allen	Devin Funchess	Jamaal Charles	Austin Seferian-Jenkins	Melvin Gordon	Ezekiel Elliott
Evan	Todd Gurley	Willie Snead	David Johnson	Mike Evans	Josh Gordon	Ezekiel Elliott
Honcho	Andrew Luck	Ameer Abdullah	Brock Osweiler	Brandin Cooks	Melvin Gordon	Derrick Henry
Jay	Jeremy Langford	Sterling Shepard	Devonta Freeman	Philip Rivers	Melvin Gordon	Dak Prescott
Jen	Aaron Rodgers	Marcus Mariota	Blake Bortles	Rob Gronkowski	Jordy Nelson	Ezekiel Elliott
Lance	Vincent Jackson	Charles Johnson	Mark Ingram	Dak Prescott	C.J. Anderson	Ezekiel Elliott
M@	Julio Jones	Tyrod Taylor	Jamaal Charles	Le’Veon Bell	Jordy Nelson	Ezekiel Elliott
Maher	Antonio Brown	Devontae Booker	Jeremy Hill	Ryan Tannehill	Jordy Nelson	Will Fuller
mala	Aaron Rodgers	DeAndre Washington	Dez Bryant	Tom Brady	Kennan Allen	Ezekiel Elliot
MB	DeAndre Hopkins	Travis Benjamin	Andrew Luck	Golden Tate	Victor Cruz	Ezekiel Elliot
SON	Chris Hogan	Virgil Green	Alshon Jeffery	Antonio Brown	Dez Bryant	Ezekiel Elliot
Tehol	Tyrod Taylor	Kamar Aiken	Brandon Marshall	Dorial Green-Beckham	Josh Gordon	Dak Prescott
Zach	Aaron Rodgers	Tajae Sharpe	Todd Gurley	Eddie Lacy	Eddie Lacy	Sterling Shepard

Most Valuable Fantasy Player (MVP)

This is where things get sticky. (That’s what she said.) Technically, this could be the best player overall… but the key word here is value. You know this because I underlined it. While the vanilla pick of Antonio Brown could still technically be the most valuable pitcher at the end of the year, there’s still enough room in the definition to allow the possibility that JaMarcus Russell will come out of retirement (or from whatever all-you-can-eat restaurant of choice is), throw 30 touchdowns and over 3,000 yards. Seeing as his ownership rate historically always stood in the nothing-to-negative digits and still would upon his triumphant return, and someone like Brown is gone by the second overall pick in any normal draft, a performance like that would be the most valuable in the history of mankind. And probably destroy the universe as we know it.

Break Out Player of The Year (Sleeper)

You might think we’re describing someone who breaks through walls and then falls asleep really fast. Which seems weird. So I wouldn’t really put it past us… To limit the confusion, I’d better point out that these are our potential break out candidates that you should be grabbing long and grabbing hard.

Most Overrated Player of The Year (Bust)

These are the guys being held on a pedestals, who will, in return for all your worship and sacrifice, ruin everything thing you hold dear. See: 2014, Ball, Montee. Or 2015, Lacy, Eddie. Take heed Razzballers, avoid these guys at all costs.

I Think I Love You, So What Am I So Afraid Of? (Infatuation)

Yep, we all have one. Find out which player your Razzball writer has an undying love for, despite any rational reason or purpose.

Come Back Player of the Year (Come Back)

Again, pretty easy to figure out what this one means. Unless you’re Tiki Barber. BUUUUURN.

Rookie of the Year (RoY)

Sorta self-explanitory, but with the added notion that value plays a part here. It’s easy to pick Ezekiel Elliot, but you’re drafting him pretty high regardless. What happens if Dak Prescott goes HAM? YOU STAY AWAY JAMARCUS, THAT IS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS. I’m just saying, there are Rookie of the Year’s, and then there are Rookie of the Year’s that help win you a championship by simply being awesome AND cheap. (Did I already use a “yo momma” joke? Doesn’t matter. Insert one here.)