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Well, as referenced last night, the derpiness was magnified 10-fold with two Monday Night Football games being played. For the Giants, well, I can only say that it’s my honor to watch Tom Coughlin’s last year as head coach. The team looked drunk most of the night, I guess wanting to join in on my fun. The optimist in me would say that things can only improve from here on out, but I know Eli Manning better than that. (He’s on pace for 32 interceptions. I believe!) On the flip side, we saw Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson play catch for most of the evening. There must have been something the Giants defense could have done to prevent all those touchdown passes to Megatron. Maybe they could have had some of their players around the area that Mr. Johnson occupied, perhaps making it more difficult for the ball to be thrown to him? They could call this wonderful new invention “pass coverage”. And while in the second quarter when the game was still close, it looked like all the other Lions games I’ve watched, where the two teams are essentially two friends at dinner arguing over who is going to pick up the check. Eventually, someone gives in, but the act is just weird over-generosity at that point. But alas, the game ended pretty quickly thereafter and we were left with an important question: Are the Lions good at football, or are the Giants a dumpster fire?

As for the Chargers and Cardinals, I could tell you what happened during the first half, but you’d either fall asleep or get stigmata. There were not enough drugs in this world to get through those 18 hours. Also, Berman and Dilfer announcing has to violate the Geneva Convention or something. The second half started off completely different, as I guess someone told the teams that touchdowns were actually allowed in the NFL. Malcom Floyd was the beneficiary here, and as I’ve been trying to tell everyone, ride him all the way to the IR. Soon thereafter, some points were scored by both sides, and the game mercilessly ended about two hours past my bedtime. Essentially, watching this game was like watching two eight-year-olds play Madden after drinking a gallon of Mountain Dew.

 

Giants – 14, Lions – 35

Matthew Stafford – 22/32, 346 YDS, 2 TD and 4 CAR, 2 YD. Stafford threw for more first quarter yards than he ever had the year after Taco Bell started serving breakfast. Coincidence? I think not.

Eli Manning – 18/33, 163 YDS, 1 TD, 2 INT. Eli Manning has won two Super Bowls. I’m not joking!!

Joique Bell – 15 CAR, 51 YDS, 1 TD and 1 REC, 5 YDS. Joique sounds like something Shaggy from Scobby Doo would say.

Reggie Bush – 9 CAR, 15 YDS and 6 REC, 49 YDS. Reggie Bush, AKA PPR.

Calvin Johnson – 7 REC, 164 YDS, 2 TD. Pretty much this:

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Golden Tate – 6 REC, 93 YDS and 1 CAR, 4 YDS. The Giants proved they can refuse to cover other wide receivers too.

Joseph Fauria – 1 REC, 26 YDS. The Lions have exceedingly large and athletic humans in their employ.

Victor Cruz – 2 REC, 24 YDS. Somewhere, a lonely, dejected Victor Cruz skips a rock across a pond. Only took three quarters for Eli Manning to find him.

 

Chargers – 17, Cardinals – 18

Carson Palmer – 24/37, 304 YDS, 2 TD and 3 CAR, 30 YDS, 1 FUM. Palmer seemed determined to spread his misses among all of his receivers last night, yet still ended up being quite competent.

Philip Rivers – 21/36, 238 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT and 2 CAR, 10 YDS. Rivers has been in the league 11 seasons, one for each of his children.

Andre Ellington – 13 CAR, 53 YDS and 5 REC, 27 YDS, 1 FUM. Well, I did tell you to sit him. So let’s call it a net-net something-something, at least he didn’t get a touchdown, something-something.

Ryan Mathews – 12 CAR, 40 YDS, 1 TD and 2 REC, 20 YDS. I don’t care, I’ll still make out with him like I’m on the sinking Titanic.

Michael Floyd – 5 REC, 119 YDS and 1 CAR, 2 YDS. I think it was very clear that Floyd is the Cardinals primary receiving option moving forward. To be honest, after last night’s game, he appears to be their only receiving option.

Larry Fitzgerald – 1 REC, 22 YDS. Larry Fitzgerald: The $15 Million Decoy.

Ted Ginn Jr. – 2 REC, 29 YDS. Mmmm, Ginn.

Keenan Allen – 5 REC, 37 YDS. Does this Keenan Allen fellow whom I used a high draft pick on actually exist?

Malcom Floyd – 4 REC, 50 YDS, 1 TD. Official Season-Ending Injury Countdown: Move down to three games left.

Antonio Gates – 6 REC, 81 YDS. This should serve as evidence to support what I said this pre-season. Ladarius Green is talented and is the future at Chargers tight end, but that breakout will be subdued somewhat this season because Gates remains the primary go-to receiver for Rivers, even with half a functioning hamstring.

  1. SMLV1 says:
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    This team needs some RB help. Is Reed droppable? Im hoping Gordon plays this season so I can trade a couple of these WRs for a quality RB! So what would you to to fix this team jay?

    Qb – Ryan
    WR – Nelson, Cruz, A. Johnson, Wright, Wayne and J. Gordon
    RB – Lacy, Stacy, Tate, Sankey
    TE- Reed, Rudolph
    K- Parkey
    DEF- STL

    On the wire – Moreno (Cant add him till after waiver claims end since I dropped him), Ingram, Ivory, Crowell, Forsett, Miller, West, P. Thomas, Robinson, Taylor, Bradshaw, D. Williams, Rainey, Starks

    10 Team standard redraft league

    Also, We holding STL Defense or streaming? Do you like their matchup @TB. Or should I add someone like the Vikings, Titans, Dolphins, or Jags?

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @SMLV1: I’d drop Reed for Moreno, Ingram, or West. In that order. You have Rudolph, I like him more than Reed to begin with.

      Stick with St. Louis for another week.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @SMLV1: I agree with Ralph there. Reed is the MLB version of Ryan Zimmerman.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Jay: Booya! Crossover point!

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @J-FOH: It was too easy calling him Danny Amendola.

  2. Tarman Got Him says:
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    I was disappointed about Allen too. But to 1 game

    I do well in Fantasy sports but find it ironic how ok Football, year after year I have the toughest schedule per league and all my opponents go 100+ points a week haha.

    Anyhow, week 2:

    Start Moreno @ Bills over Mathews @ Seattle
    Start someone like Wallace @ Bills over Allen @ Seahawks?

    Thank you!!

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @Tarman Got Him: I think Moreno over Matthews is a good choice. I’d stick with Allen tho.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Tarman Got Him: Yup, just one game, agreed. I’m still going with the players you drafted high here. Chargers have a way of doing well against good teams… or so I always try to convince myself. I’m going with both Mathews and Allen there.

      • byobeerling says:
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        @Jay: I’ve always been a firm believer in starting your studs, but after watching my team (pack) get destroyed by the seahawks and watching rodgers and lacy do next to nothing, i’m a little nervous about starting mathews in both my leagues. I have gerhart as a backup in one league, is it crazy to start him over mathews this week?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @byobeerling: For me, yes. I saw nothing from Gerhart this last Sunday, and didn’t really believe in him before that.

          • Ralph Lifshitz

            Ralph Lifshitz says:
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            @Jay: Agree with Jay Gerhart is a JAG

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Tarman Got Him: I don’t start anyone against the Seahawks unless his name is Jimmy Graham or Calvin Johnson

      • Tarman Got Him says:
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        @J-FOH: Thanks guys!! I’m gonna stick with Allen but start Moreno, he always jets undervalued and nobody ever had faith. I think he should do good against the bills. Lamar Miller Moreno duo is exciting for US DOLPHIN FANS!! Haha!!

  3. CrackerJack says:
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    So, who drank the Dew? You or the 8-year olds?? Could make a difference…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @CrackerJack: I’d say both at this point…

  4. jordan73 says:
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    How badly do you think Eli’s ineptitude hurts Cruz RoS? You had him as your #9 WR (PPR) in the pre-season ranks, would you still count him as top 15? I could move him for Kendall Wright, Markus Wheaton, or Malcom Floyd right now if any of those are better options.

    Thanks!

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      Ralph Lifshitz says:
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      @jordan73: Maybe I’m blinded by name value but I’d stick with Cruz. It did look bad….real bad last night.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @jordan73: I’m sticking with Cruz. Week 1 games can be… weird.

  5. Ralph Lifshitz

    Ralph Lifshitz says:
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    Who knew Clay Matthews got sauced and went to Giants games….

  6. the pillar & the stones says:
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    Moreno or Forsett? How much to bid?
    I have Lamar if that matters.

  7. Nimrod says:
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    Per league rules I have to roster 2 TE. I have Reed and Clay. The FA available in our 12 team PPR league are Donnell,Niles, Fasono,J. Cook and Toilolo. Who would you recommend to add? My drop would be Tre Mason or Reed. Would you just hold since I have clay or grab a 3rd TE to be safe?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nimrod: But you only have to start one? I would just hold.

  8. Steve says:
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    Would u drop tom Brady to pick up Palmer???

    • Ralph Lifshitz

      ralph lifshitz says:
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      @Steve: No

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve: Nope, hold there.

  9. Steve says:
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    Moreno,Vereen,or Fjax this week??
    10 team standard
    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve: Moreno for now, but check back with my rankings on Thursday.

  10. Randy says:
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    Is T-Rich droppable yet? And how would you rank these additions in a standard league? Pierce, Forsett, West, Bradshaw, and Cunningham?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Randy: I didnt’ think he was draftable, but if you have him, let’s see if he can actually do something.

      Bradshaw, West, Forsett…. Cunningham……… Pierce.

  11. mguy31 says:
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    Burn a #1 waiver on Ahmad Bradshaw? I would be dropping Khiry Robinson, 1 pt ppr.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @mguy31: If you need that RB depth, sure.

  12. Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
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    1. PPR league with .1 pts per return yard.
    freeman dropped for all of west/forsett/rainey or not all of those? also have stacy/murray/ivory/c.johnson. we play 2 RB with 1 flex (i’m pretty strong at WR though)
    2 different league. PPR, no return yardage. start only 2 RB. no flex.
    A. have charles/bell/woodhead/ridley/d.will
    drop any of ridley/d.will (assuming that’s the drop order too if so) for west/forsett/ivory/greene (in that order if all 4 of them for both or one of my guys)
    B. drop j.jones (OAK)/t.austin (or both) for any of streater/lee/britt/j.brown

      • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
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        @Jay: ok, thinking it’s more likely at some point Ridley and D.Will are more valuable even if West and those others start, and Freeman’s upside when S-Jax gets hurt is also worth more than all three of those guys, even if they end up starting. interesting. and owning both of the 2 OAK guys is good since maybe at least one of them proves valuable (or at least more than T.Austin). got it.

  13. Frank White says:
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    Do you think I should trade Brees n Cruz for D Murray, Wallace n Bell(DET)?? Dou you think I’m giving enough cause I can throw in Fred Jackson? He’s got RG3 so he needs a QB and I can always grab a god QB from waivers cause that would make my team pretty set.

    • Frank White says:
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      Yeahi wanted to throw Jackson in cause he would need someone to replace Bell and I have Reggie Bush so that can work out.. If I trade Brees then I would have to grab someone like Roethlisberger, Flacco or Locker.. Should I grab Wallace or Floyd(ARI)?? With D Murray

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Frank White: I would rather have the Brees, Cruz side on that one.

      • Frank White says:
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        Yeah but having just Matthews and Bush is killing me. Plus I can’t risk having Cruz being a bust. with no receiver depth besides nicks n Boykin. Roth put up 35 points this week andI can use Bush at flex with Murray. I have Brandon Marshall n Maclin then I would add Wallace. You still don’t agree??

        • Frank White says:
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          I would have Murray, Matthews n Bush.. Irememberyou said I shouldn’t have grabbed Brees in the 2nd round when I could’ve grabbed a great RB and I can get that RB

          • Jay

            Jay says:
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            @Frank White: Right, I just don’t like that specific deal for you. I think you can do better.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Frank White: I mean, it’s fine to search for more depth, but I don’t think Wallace is the answer.

          • Frank White says:
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            Yeah I don’t see anybody that needs a qb that has a Rb that isn’t a top 3 one and they won’t trade their top 3 RB

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Frank White: I hear ya. There’s a good argument here to be made, but I’m just saying it was me personally, I’d hold. I think you’ve made a good case for going through there.

  14. Steve Stevenson says:
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    1. Drop Reed for D. Allen? We must roster 2TE, start 1, and my other is Kelce.

    2. Also, in dynasty (different league) my RB situation is rapidly deteriorating. We start 2RB and 1RB/WR, non-PPR. Forte and Foster are fine as my starters, but the bench is Tate, L. Miller, Rice and Michael. Definitely dropping Rice, but would like to hold Michael unless it gets dire. What would be the order of waiver claims among Ivory, Forsett, Bradshaw and Greene? Main focus is this year, don’t care much about future value except as a tiebreaker.

    3. 3rd league: Would you be trying to trade for Romo in a league that only deducts 1 pt for INT and gives a 3pt bonus for 300yds? Wilson is currently my QB.

    • Steve Stevenson says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: in #2, I also have J . Hill on bench.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve Stevenson: 1. I’m okay with that one, yeah. 2. Bradshaw, Ivory, Forsett, then Greene, but they are all closely bunched. 3. Stick with Wilson, not a huge upgrade there.

  15. Frank White says:
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    I got Rice and obviously you heard what happened.. So I have the #2 waiver pick. Should I grab Justin Forsett since I got Mathews, Bush and Fred Jackson left or should I save the pick??

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Frank White: I would grab for that depth.

  16. Carlos says:
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    Who is the better TE replacement for Reed, PPR league.. H. Miller or A. Gates?

    Also, I have L. Green on my bench, should I handcuff him with Gates, or just drop him for Kelce?

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Carlos: For now, Gates. Even with a damaged hamstring, he had a really good game. I would want Green, just expect some numbers as the season gets older.

  17. Andy says:
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    I want to add Josh Gordon, but who should I drop?

    Start 2 week to week:

    G. Tate or E. Sanders?

    I also have R. Cobb and V. Jackson

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Andy: Are there any other choices? Out of that group, it would be Tate, but that’s seems like a huge risk that I wouldn’t want to do.

      • Andy says:
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        @Jay:

        Would you do this trade???

        Send R. Jennings and E. Sanders in exchange for L. Bell, then get J. Gordon off waivers?

        • Cheese Eating Surrender Monkey says:
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          @Andy: are you first waiver? otherwise don’t count de chickens.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Andy: Yeah, I’m okay with that trade if you are assured getting Josh Gordon.

  18. Principal Blackman says:
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    Drop I drop Dunbar or Grimes for Forsett?

      • Principal Blackman says:
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        @Jay: follow-up question is that kind of add worth my #1 waiver priority? My other backs are Lynch, Spiller, Gore, and Hyde in addition to Dunbar and Grimes. 1/2PPR. Thanks.

  19. Steve says:
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    Lacy and Ertz for Julius Thomas??

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve: hold there.

  20. Charles says:
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    Should I stick with H. Miller in a PPR league for another week? Or pick up one of the following – D. Allen, A. Gates, J. Gresham, or A. Fasano?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Charles: yeah, hold there. No need wasting a claim.

  21. CAPTAIN KIRK says:
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    @Jay

    so i’m in a bit of a pickle. First off, I drafted a terrible team. I was kicked out of yahoo draft in the 3rd round and they auto drafted toby gehart for me in the 4th round.

    my RBs are Gerhart, Jennings, and Ray Rice/Pierce.

    It’s a RB/RB, WR/WR/, Flex league

    i have the #1 waiver, do i burn it for forsett or use it on ahmad bradshaw or do nothing?

  22. Antonio Brown's Karate Kick says:
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    I been preaching about Kelvin Benjamin all preseason… but on my damn bench (damn u Torrey Smith!) Texas D a good add over Broncos? Also should I hold onto Bernard Pierce or try to get Forsett? Carlos Hyde also available… Help me out Jay!…

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      Yeah, I like the Texans this weekend. I would want Hyde over both those guys.

      • Antonio Brown's Karate Kick says:
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        @Jay: Thanks bro

  23. Charles says:
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    14 Team non PPR 6 pts per TD. 1 pt per 50 passing yards, 1 pt per 20 rush/rec yards. Fractional points count.

    Thinking about buying low on Brady. The owner has P. Thomas and Hyde as his starting RBs. What do you think about packaging Kaepernick + Ingram for Brady?

    Other scenario is chasing Stafford. The owner has Crabtree, Hopkins and Gibson for his starting WRs. I can package Kaepernick + Vjax (selling on name value since he had a terrible week 1) or Kaepernick + Michael Floyd?

    Given the scoring in my league, do I try those or hold? Are we believing that Kaepernick can stick as my QB1 all year? Big Ben is my backup btw.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      I feel like you should stick with Kap for now. Or maybe offer him straight up for a buy-low. I think he can be a QB1, I mean, I’m not high on him, but to go to Brady, who knows if that’s a worthy upgrade at this point.

  24. Ron says:
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    12-team .5PPR 2-keeper league. Here is my roster.

    QB: Rodgers
    RB: Charles
    WR: Megtron
    WR: Cruz
    RB/WR: Stacy
    WR/TE: Crabtree

    Bench
    RB: Knile Davis
    RB: C. Hyde
    RB: L. Miller
    RB: T.West
    WR: Colston
    WR: Cooks
    WR: Baldwin
    WR: Wheaton
    TE: Cameron

    I’m considering trading Charles and here are some of the offers I’m hearing.
    A) Charles for Demaryius and Gerhart/F. Jackson
    B) Charles and Cameron for Graham and R. Matthews
    C) Charles and Colston for Demaryius and Jordy
    D) Charles and Cooks for AJ Green and Ellington
    E) Charles, Colston and Cooks for Demaryuis, Jordy and Gerhart

    How do these rank for you? Any you would not take at all?