Phil B.

Absoltuely FAABulous Week 6! Wayne’s World!

October 10, 2017 | 2017 FAAB Leagues, 2017 Fantasy Football | 16 Comments

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I believe that karma rules fantasy football. I don’t think there’s any other governing force. Example: in my home league I won last week by .42 points and this week, you freaking know it, I lost by .3. Next week am I going to win by .2? I can’t take the aggravation. Though a win’s a win and all we really need is a playoff spot, right? We all want a bye, but 1-4 isn’t season over. I won that league last year by slipping in as the sixth seed (though I had the most overall points which is why I had the creative team name “Most Points”).

Sad truth is if you are 1-4, you can’t be 1-5; so look at the teams in your league and throw out trade offers for guys going this week (I’m not just telling you, I’m doing it too; got unlucky and staring down 1-5 in a big money league). But we believe in fantasy football karma in the land of AbFAAB and the only way to up that is to spend some money! ($100 Free Agent Auction Budget Dollars we’re playing with; at least that’s what we started the season with.)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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Jennifer

Hit It or Quit It, Week 6: Heading Out West and Mack’in Some New Meat

October 10, 2017 | 2017 Buy/Sell, 2017 Fantasy Football | 17 Comments

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Want to nab him and hold onto him? Go on sexy britches, take a lesson from my playbook and Welcome back my lovelies, to another week of Hit it or Quit it. I honestly have to say that Week 5 has been the most carnage-inducing week thus far. The Black Widow Curse was certainly back and in full-on raging b*tch mode. Probably because she had been pretty quiet in Week 4. B*tches be trippin’ like that sometimes. But alas, here we are. I managed to make it out alive this week, but I know most of you are still laying in your kitchens with your heads in the oven. Don’t fret, my loves. I have always been here to satisfy all of your needs and this week is no exception. So, let’s cut through all the foreplay here, shall we? Bust out the lube and get ready. I present to you Week 6’s edition of Hit it or Quit it.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kerry Klug

Waiver Wired, Week 6: Get You Some Good JuJu

October 10, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 Waiver Wire | 14 Comments

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Man, keep me away from your favorite football team. I had the opportunity to check out the supposed football game between the Giants and Chargers and I’m convinced that I am bad luck. Injury after injury after injury has the Giants in contention for a top 5 pick in this year’s draft.

The Bills, Cowboys, Bengals and Seahawks will have bye weeks so there are a lot of fantasy points that you will have to make up from RBs: LeSean McCoy and Ezekiel Elliott to WRs Dez Bryant, A.J. Green and Doug Baldwin to dual-threat QBs in Russell Wilson, Dak Prescott and Tyrod Taylor. Leave me a message down below if you need some fill in options from your waiver pool.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Jay’s Week 5 Review: OBJ the New FML

October 9, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 News & Notes | 55 Comments

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First they came for David Johnson, and I did not speak out – Because I did not draft him. Then they came for Allen Robinson, and I did not speak out — Because I did not care about the Jaguars. Then they came for Greg Olson, and I did not speak out — Because he was just a tight end. Then they came for Odell Beckham Jr. — and there was no one left that could medically attend to my liver and rescue my fantasy team. Exactly how hurt is OBJ? Well, despite bringing out one of those weird curtains that they break out when a horse goes down on the track before carting him off the field… I’d say not good. It’s a broken leg (I guess I could have GIF’d the injury, but nothing is as cringe-inducing as watching a human body part break in slow motion… and all of our uncles drunk at Thanksgiving), so one first has to ask, how do we define “broken”? Well, I’m no doctor, but experts have told me (i.e. I know how to Google) that it was his fibula and that an MRI to check for ligament damage took place earlier today, but one thing’s for certain (unless Ian Rapport is involved), OBJ is gone for a while. (Along with the rest of the Giants receivers. Seriously, read the injury report further down after the jump… I feel like stigmata is next.) I still have to ask though, for the sake of my aforementioned liver… If Odell Beckham can catch with one hand, can’t he run on one ankle?

Please, blog, may I have some more?
MB

The New Feminist and His Dick(son)

October 9, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 News & Notes | 48 Comments

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Another Sunday has come and gone. There were some really good games this week that we are goinig to talk about here in a second. I just want to take a second to tell you that if you are struggling badly or are hanging in there but need a boost, be sure to check out Rudy’s awesome season long or DFS football tools. Rudy’s formula is making some really great calls that have gone unnoticed in the rest of the industry. Along with us, let Rudy help you out for the rest of the season!

Let’s get to the games!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

Fantasy Football Primer, Week 5

October 8, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 News & Notes | 146 Comments

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As we enter the second quarter of the season (so meta!), many questions have been answered. The Browns? Yeah, still the Browns. I actually think we’re in era of “peak” Browns, but I’m not even sure that factory of sadness has an off button. In fact, production of sadness seems to be steadily increasing, so there’s that I suppose? The Jets? Well, the Giants are doing worse, so there’s that I guess. We now know what the Colts are capable of when their one good player gets injured. Four times (can the aforementioned Giants add a fifth?) there has been the proper amount of schadenfreude served to Dean Spanos. I’d say the Bears are who we thought they were. (RIP Dennis Green. My hero.) And the Seahawks are celebrating their centennial anniversary of having a sh*tty offensive line. Plenty of answers so far, but it’s still somewhat early in the season and some questions still remain. Will Todd Gurley father my children? How are the Panthers in first with a 3-1 record when Cam Newton still doesn’t have a working shoulder? Are the Cowboys the best mediocre team in the NFL? Can the AFC North just explode instead of sending teams to the playoffs? And my god, how are the Eagles 3-1? I can’t promise that these poignant questions will be answered today, or even a week from now, or even another month… well, actually, the Todd Gurley fathering my children one, it just depends how much affinity his legal team has for restraining orders. You’ll know when I know folks!

Here’s your updated Razzball Fantasy Football Rankings for Week 5 (STD, Half-PPR, PPR, IDP) including our updated Staff Consensus, Player Status Updates, and an opportunity to ask those all so important roster questions to myself, MB, and Zach in the commentary section!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
malamoney

Love to Hate, Week 5: Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Advice Giver

October 7, 2017 | 2017 Buy/Sell, 2017 Fantasy Football | 15 Comments

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Last week I promised that I would dedicate the following week to subjecting myself to the save level of scrutiny I have spent the past two weeks bestowing upon the author of ESPN’s weekly fantasy football Love/Hate article. Well fast forward to today and it is now next week. You like how I did that. I didn’t need a flux capacitor, 88 MPH or 1.21 gigawatts to launch us into the future. Eat your heart out Doc. On a related note, did you hear they are doing a remake of Back To The Future with Will Smith’s son as Marty McFly. Donald Trump will be playing Biff Tannen.

Well I guess it’s time to see just how much I am going to ridicule myself. Without further adieu…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Zach

Tool Time, Week 5: America’s Team

October 7, 2017 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Tools | 7 Comments

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Alright guys, welcome to Week 5 of the NFL season! We now have official hit #byeszn, so today I’ll be sprinkling in some under-the-radar plays so you guys can get some fillers for those players on bye this week. Enough chatter, let’s get to some Razzball-certified picks!

Check out Rudy’s exclusive DFS and season-long tools that are sure to help you be profitable this fantasy football season!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kerry Klug

Start ‘Em or Sit ‘Em, Week 5: He About to Go CAM

October 7, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 Start & Sit | 16 Comments

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My Week 4 recommendations went much better than week 3. I said Deshaun Watson would score “25+ points” and he put up 33. I told you to start James White over Mike Gillislee for his PPR contributions and he scored 14 to Gillislee’s 4. I told you to not even look at Marshawn Lynch and he only scored 1 fantasy point. I even said this about a certain Dolphins QB: “I recommended him last week against the Jets secondary and he laid an 11.7 fantasy point egg on my face! Well, now he’s facing an equally bad Saints secondary who have allowed the second-most passing yards to opposing QBs this year. If _____ fails to capitalize again this year you shan’t see his name again!” As promised — that Dolphins quarterback is He-Who-Shan’t-Be-Named!

Here were a few more of my solid start suggestions from Week 4:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jay

2017 Fantasy Football Weekly Rankings, Week 5: Staff Rankings

October 6, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 Weekly Rankings | 116 Comments

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Tired of clicking multiple links just to look up where one of our writers ranked Gerald Everett? Wondering who Gerald Everett is? Good, because I’m with you on both counts! With MB and Zach providing the Razzball readers with their own rankings (a contrarian consensus, as I like to say, to pretend I’m clever), we’re going to provide our 2017 Fantasy Football Staff Rankings for the first time ever, a place where you can find all of our weekly rankings in one spot! The players will be sorted by our average ranking, providing you a great way to see how the Razzball Staff feels (questions posted in our comment section will be answered by all ranking writers!), and it’ll also provide our specific rankings so you know how each of us feel about a player. So many feels, so little time. Follow us after the jump for your Official 2017 Razzball Staff Rankings for Week 5!

Please, blog, may I have some more?
EasyE

We’re Going Streaming! Week 5: Wubba Lubba Dub Dub!

October 5, 2017 | 2017 Fantasy Football, 2017 Streamers | 9 Comments

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Fantasy football will always be the best distraction in my life and I love that I get to share it with you guys. I love answering your questions in the comments, I love chatting about the game. I’m like your own personal fantasy football Mr. Meseeks. But sometimes we need to focus on real life and share on that front too… So back when Mulan originally came out in 1998, McDonalds released a special Szechuan sauce to coincide with the movie. And then it was brutally and forcefully ripped from our hands by big corporations that don’t care about the little people. Fast forward 20 years, where cartoons and a lot of nagging on Twitter can change things (OK, let’s be real, nothing every gets resolved on Twitter). The cult of Rick and Morty fans, rabid after a season 3 premiere where Rick refers to the magical Mulan McNugget sauce as his “one-armed man”, intersect with the announcement of a live action Mulan movie and the snowball gets rolling. To the point where McDonald’s gives away a few large containers of the special sauce to the creators and a few lucky fans, one jug of which apparently got up to $4,000 in bidding on eBay, and we now get a special day on October 7th where certain McDonald’s location will have a limited supply of sauce. I bring this up for two reasons. One – someone help a brother stranded in Iowa cornfields out and send me some of this stuff. Two – in spite of the bigger societal issues, if we band together and focus on distractive efforts (like fantasy football or the commenter community here at Razzball), we can do anything. Hopefully with extra sauce. Let’s go streaming! As always, I focus on guys owned in less than 65% of Yahoo leagues after waivers process on Thursday. The bye weeks are here and the dives get a little deeper, but you’re in the trust tree Frank. I got ya. Bring that green hat Snoop-a-loop!

Please, blog, may I have some more?