Normally I start these buy/sells off with a buy. I like to get you excited about getting ‘that one guy’ for cheap like I hope I did with Alfred Morris last week. Then I slowly ease you into what may be a call that you disapprove of or just don’t wanna hear. But this whole partially torn plantar fascia business is too big to ignore in my book and so I’m here to tell you to push the sell button on Jimmy Graham. The reason I say sell now can be summed up with a number: 18. That’s the amount of snaps Graham was in to play on on Sunday. Want more numbers to back up my stance? Cool, how about three. That’s the amount of targets he got in the game. Brees threw the ball 34 times in week 8. So Graham was a product of only 8.8% of Brees’ work on Sunday but no one cares because touchdowns. Specifically two of them. That saves a 3/37 day every time. Throw on the fact this game was after a bye week, do you want to hang your hat on that kind of production week in and week out? Our beloved Tehol mentioned a TE a couple of years ago who struggled through a similar injury. His name? Antonio Gates. Though statistically it wasn’t a bad year for Gates in 2010, he ended up only playing 10 games and bowed out during the time his owners needed him most: the playoffs. Now I’m not telling you the situation is exactly the same but do you really want to count on Graham to play through it and perform at the level you’re used to? Do you want to count on the Saints not sitting him at the end of the year if they have their division wrapped up to make sure he’s good to go for the playoffs? Basically, as a Graham owner you got a Joseph Fauria-type week and it masked a lot of things to be fearful of. He’s still a top 10 to 15 player so I’m saying you get out while the value is still there. I’d look to do a 2-2 trade where you take the ‘lesser’ TE and upgrade at another position in this scenario unless you have Reed or a player like him just waiting to take over for him on your team. Either way, I’d be getting out while the gettin’s good. In other buy/sell news for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Welcome once again my fantasy friends to The Razzball Lounge. The Lounge is the place we fake football scribes gather to talk the trash, tease the Tehol and drown the sorrows in early morning Bloody Mary’s – hey bartender, make it spicy and put a pickle in that! JB, that’s not a pickle. This week in the lounge it’s our annual Razzballin’ Halloweeny Spooktacular. That means you drink anytime someone screams “Ghostbusters” and also explains why Sky is dressed as a pregnant nun and snorting crushed up Smarties off the bar. “Hey guys, anyone want a bump?” Sky loves his sugar high and just can’t kick the habit. See what I did there? *high fives no one* Dropping quarters at the jukebox Jay Wrong plays “The Monster Mash” for the 23rd time. “Check out my Jennifer Lawrence costume!” *bottle smashes above head* It should be noted that Jay’s “Jennifer Lawrence” costume consists only of a brown wig and yoga pants. One of these things he wears on a regular basis. Locked in the ladies room the one and only Tehol Beddict, clad in his 6th grade He-Man Masters of the Universe costume, is sharing his “fun-size Snickers” with this handsome lady. “I thought she was dressed as a member of the Village People? Really.” And standing here at the pool table in my Edward Scissorhands get-up is your humble-but-nonetheless-festive Guru. *closes eye, aims cue, fires ball through window, cuts face* “You try to shoot with scissors for hands!” Here be the Week 9 Fantasy Frankensteins. It’s time to jam it or cram it.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Another week and another W! OK, so I’m a lot less proud of my 8-0 team after beating Tehol’s God Forgives I Don’t team that had two guys left in on byes. God remembers bye weeks, and you don’t Tehol! Everyone publicly smite him. Because not only did he forget to check that team, but now you have to deal with me raving on about an 8-0 team and another step closer to winning RCL! Shameful one of the wins was by 4 against underwear-chicken man, but a win is a win. Like the Seahawks on Monday Night. Whether it be a blown call by replacement refs or that miserable showing last night against the Rams, wins be wins. All 4 other 7-0 teams also won this week, so none of the unbeatens have fallen. You can check out the full interactive 2013-2014 RCL Standings tab up under “Leagues” that shows you how you’re stacking up against your Razzball competitors in your journey to RCL glory.
TOP SCORER: The top scorer through Sunday held out to be the top scorer this week – huge props to the Redeye Raiders for putting up a whopping 213 points this week in the Take On Jaywrong league. Led by Megatron’s 50 and Brees’ 33, that 83 right there outscored a lot of RCL teams! The win takes Redeye to 5-3 and third place in the league, taking down Dread Pirate Roberts who stays in second going from 6-1 to 6-2. Climbing the rankings, Redeye! But all roads lead to Yeshcheese and yet another win for one of the RCL’s elite undefeated teams. Feels good up here, don’t it! And wouldn’t you know it, Redeye after notching the highest RCL score will be playing Yeshcheese is a huge week 9 throwdown. Congrats again to the Redeye Raiders!
Now I wish to start this post off by saying I’m a Seahawks fan. I’m not a loud-mouthed one nor am I looking at this game as any form of victory. The Rams whooped their butts and if they had any type of QB at the helm to run this offense more efficiently, Seattle would’ve/could’ve/should’ve lost this one. It was terrible on multiple facets but I’m gonna admit I came away impressed with a player from Saint Louis tonight. His name is Zac Stacy and he done good. Against one of the better defenses in the league, Stacy touted the rock 26 times for 134 yards. Not only was the volume night to see but averaging 5.2 ypc against a defense that was typically only giving up 3.7 and had only given up 641 total on the year, which is good enough for 6th best in the league? Flex those pecs son, you owned this game. Now I’m gonna throw a comparison out there but keep in mind I’m horrible at these. At least my wife thinks so. I told her she looked like Anna Gunn from Breaking Bad. Seriously, I know she’s an annoying character but look past that, honey! The hair, the eyes, the smile. Sorry, it’s all there. Yes, I’ll sleep on the couch tonight…but where was I? Oh yeah, the comp. Now I’m not saying he is exactly this but I saw a bit of Ray Rice in how he ran the ball tonight. Big body between the tackles that can turn a 2 to 3 yard carry into a 5 to 6 yard one with a few wiggles and you barely see him do it. Keep in mind I’m talking strictly about how he runs. Not what he’ll do rest of season nor his future prospects but I will say I was thoroughly impressed. Here’s to hoping that ankle sprain at the end of the game is very minor. I’d love to see if Zac is an RB maniac. In other 2013 Fantasy Football news…
Please, blog, may I have some more?What a huge Sunday it was in the midway week, as Calvin Johnson had the most receiving yards in a 4-quarter game in NFL history and the Cowboys gave up yet another heartbreaking loss. Nick and I go over that game plus everything NFC, then JayWrong calls in to review a big week in the AFC. Marvin Jones just caught another touchdown! Sorry I missed it during my spot on the pod, but RCL top scorer through Sunday goes out to the Redeye Raiders in Take on Jaywrong League with 213 points! Megatron and Brees shall lead you to the promised land. Nice work Redeye! We also cover another big week in DraftKings and Murph calls in with the injury report. Have a great 2nd half to the Fantasy Football season!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Good tidings everyone and welcome, once again, to this quickly/drunkenly-typed post of one handsome man’s observations of Sunday Night Football. Wait, wait, wait. You’re telling me it’s time to watch Josh Freeman again already? Oh wait, he’s out with a concussion. Nice. So instead we get… Christian Ponder? Sigh.
the drinking game I played
Take a sip of PBR in a wine glass…
…whenever Mike McCarthy called a totally worthless run play.
…every time Christian Ponder completely whiffed on an open man.
…whenever Christian Ponder looked totally confused about life.
…every time Cris Collinsworth gushed over BJ Raji.
Chug a wine glass full of PBR…
…every time Mason Crosby shanked a kick.
…whenever I felt like it, because Christian Ponder, bro.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Truth be told, this lede was supposed to go to Megatron. I mean, c’mon, how could it NOT go to him, right? Well, special days happen that make you evaluate your lede and sometimes life when a guy that’s 20% owned in yahoo leagues scores 4 touchdowns on 8/122 on 8 targets. I’m gonna admit to you that I am still looking at Marvin Jones like an alien right now. I mean, the kid only had 16/247/3 coming into week 8 so this outpouring of fantasy goodness had to be a surprise even to Bengals fans and those 20%’ers out there. But second year wide outs coming alive midseason has happened before…right? Eh, it’s not as common I know. Marvin is probably more of a keeper pickup if he’s anything at this point but if you’re in a deeper league with enough bench depth to give him a shot/time, he’s worth the gamble. Not a question of talent with Marvin, just a question of opportunity. Well, I think you have that now, Jones. Take advantage. In other news from week 8 for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Please, blog, may I have some more?Man, hard to believe we’re already halfway through the fantasy season. Where has the time gone?
At the mid-point, it’s time to start really addressing a few things. Injury status, playoff schedule, all of that good stuff is important to start noting, especially with trades. When trading right now, its critical that you look at the schedule and realize you’re only getting 6 regular season games out of new acquisitions past this Sunday if 4 teams make week 15/16 playoffs, and only 5 if it’s a 6-team playoff. A little crazy to think you get that little time. While Fantasy Baseball and Fantasy Basketball (pumped for a big year!) are both marathons, Fantasy Football is a sprint. I pick Usain Bolt! Championship.
Please, blog, may I have some more?After my road trip deep into the woods of the Pacific Northwest to meet and pass Razzball Football initiation with our leader Sky, I have returned a new man with no recollection of last Saturday. I woke up Sunday, naked and alone, sometime in the early evening to find Roy Helu had scored three touchdowns in the Redskins big win over the Bears. Am I still drugged up? Is this all a dream? Why are my pants cut into chaps? Like almost everyone else on earth, except maybe this guy, who would of thought Roy Helu would score as many rushing TD’s in one game that CJ Spiller, Arian Foster and Doug Martin have combined for this season. Yeah, F**K YOU FIRST ROUND RUNNING BACKS! It’s ok everyone, Helu is just really lucky because of one game, but it is hard to imagine that he goes back to nothingness considering the Skins only two wins came in games where he found the endzone. Wait!…What? Yup, that is correct 12 readers of my “list”. In the Skins only two victories of the season Helu found the endzone four times. He has averaged 4.2 YPC on the year and averages 10.9 yards per reception. That looks good enough to me Shanahanigans. PLAY HELU MORE! WE NEED MORE HELU! RETIRE YOU CRAZY BASTARD! WHY AM I YELLING AT MY COMPUTER WHILE I WRITE THIS! Sorry for the yelling 12 readers, I drafted Trent Richardson everywhere and if I keep punching my computer I won’t be able to bring this drivel to you every Friday. I would grab Helu everywhere, no not there Prezzii, and either use him or stash him. Because of the unpredictability of his coach I won’t make him a fuzzy cuff til I see more. Before moving on I must share this beautiful artistic piece about the ownership of the Redskins.
Please, blog, may I have some more?The demolition derby of humanity known as the NFL continues to churn on and keeps filling my office with patients.
Doug Martin of the Bucs missed last night’s game with a torn labrum and could be done for the year. Reggie Wayne and Sam Bradford are both toast with ACL injuries. Jay Cutler of the Bears is out for four weeks with a groin injury. Jermichael Finley is done for the year after a scary neck injury and bruised spine.
Let’s go a little more in-depth on the Martin injury.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Alright! Stop what your doing, cuz I’m about to ruin, the image and the style that ya used to. Greetings all! Tis I, a man who has tossed more salads than Chef Emeril, the fabulous Mr. Beddict. Comin at cha live and in full effect, to bring you the heat and inside scoop on the men who will either traject you on to glorious fantasy wins and those of whom will you want to avoid like a she-male Thai hooker with full ownership of every STD on planet earth. We’ve all been there right? No? Just me? Alllllrighty then. I know many of you are saddened by the fact that I’m back after a no-show last week, as you were thanking the Gods that I was finally fired and had hopefully had my nuts clipped in a tragic modeling accident but that’s just not the case. A week off was needed as I traveled to Bangladesh to take every child at the Beddict orphanage in Bangladesh base jumping. Modeling and writing about sports is how I live a luxurious lifestyle, but my real passion is my hobby: taking my Beddict sponsored orphans base jumping. My immense generosity and stunning good looks are not what these posts are about so let’s move on to that shall we?
Please, blog, may I have some more?There are certain players that make me wish that Fantasy Football Roto were more common. I think I’ve heard them called ‘total points leagues’ before which is probably more apropos but since I love fantasy baseball and fantasy football, I always try to find a way to amalgamate the two into my understanding of the world. I actually thought it would be a great beginners league to do H2H football but with categories. You know: Passing Yards you either win or lose like baseball head to head…*Crickets*. Ok, clearly I’m talking to myself. You like the traditional tried and true. The head to head format that pits mano-a-mano, mano-a-womano and sometimes even womano-a-womano. Hrm, now I’m thinking of mud wrestling…sorry lady readers, my reptilian brain has clearly only progressed so far. But I digress, I bring up this topic of points leagues because Cam Newton is the epitome of a QB you’d want to draft in a total points league. Cam has spent the last two years floating between mediocre to living up to his moniker of Superman and this year his schism hasn’t balanced out any better. Coming into tonight, Cam had 2 games of scoring 25 or more twice on the year, and three where he scored between 12 and 16 and topped off with a 6 point performance against the Cards after scoring a season high 30. But after a 27 point night against the Bucs, Cam is back in his owner’s good graces and honestly that’s where he should stay. You drafted him to be a top 5 QB and so far, the stats say he’s well on his way. If you didn’t want the roller coaster ride, you shouldn’t have bought the ticket. To give you a different analogy, you liked it and you decidedly put a ring on it. Sometimes you get this Beyonce and sometimes you get the other Beyonce. You got 99 problems and the B!@#$ ain’t one and other times…well, yikes. It’s the life of being a Cam owner. You either hate it or embrace it but either way you lack discipline if his imbalance throws you off. In other news from TNF for 2013 Fantasy Football…
Please, blog, may I have some more?