A decade ago, Michael Burry started posting his investment ideas on Reddit. He believed the housing market was in a bubble and ultimately shorted the housing market for a gain of over a billion dollars. This week, our dear commenter William Hung wondered if Rashaad Penny should be the waiver wire add of the week. Penny, I hear you thinking. Yeah, he’s been around the block, bypassed by Chris Carson, Alex Collins, Mike Davis, and basically every other semi-productive Seahawks RB in the past few years. With the likes of Russell Wilson finding their steam in the late season, it’s opened up the field for players like Penny who pay homage to Dicey, the God of Variance. Dicey is a generous yet vengeful god, one of the old souls from the chaotic beginnings of the universe. This week, Penny accumulated more yards on the ground than he had accumulated in the previous two seasons combined. Should you have started Rashaad Penny? Nah, just like you shouldn’t have ordered the sushi on Monday morning. But sometimes, the supply chain is running unusually smooth, or a team might be so focused on stopping somebody like D.K. Metcalf, that somebody like Penny can step in and earn another year on their contract with a wildly successful performance. Let’s see what else happened on Sunday for Week 14 of fantasy football:
Have a day, Rashaad Penny!
— NFL (@NFL) December 12, 2021
Lamar Jackson: Ankle injury and left the game, replaced by Tyler Huntley who led a wild comeback attempt against the Browns. Huntley is a fine pickup, but if you’re going into the fantasy playoffs, you might want somebody more like…
Taysom Hill: Again, QBs don’t have to be great to be useful for fantasy, and Taysom had a perfectly adequate game against the hapless Jets. Thing is, Taysom has endzone magnetism. Last year, he ran in twice as many TDs as he threw. This week, he looked at Alvin Kamara and said, “Take a load off Alvin,” as Taysom rushed for 2 TDs and 73 yards. Hill provides a nice floor for QBs, and if you’re looking for more upside for the playoffs to fill in for one of your injured signal callers, you pray to Dicey for a good roll on Carson Wentz or Derek Carr, each a QB that regularly finishes either in the top 5 or below QB20.
Davis Mills: Heck, he was supposed to be the QB of the future in HOU, which is kinda like saying I’m the next big thing for HBO. Sure, maybe my script of Fantasy Dad might be mis-categorized as romance and green lit before they find out that it’s a biopic of me sitting at my computer playing imaginary sports. Same thing goes for Davis Mills — Texans are probably gonna let him air it out these final weeks to see if they need to draft another QB in 2022. Also he tossed for 330 yards, but the Texans are basically a team of Rashaad Penny-like players so you’re playing the variance card every time you start them. Mills is a contrarian DFS option, but probably not somebody you want to roll with in your fantasy football playoffs unless you’ve got those weighted dice in your pocket.
The Entire Jaguars Team: Reports came out this week that Urban Meyer — in addition to being untrustable at the club — is a vengeful bloke who’d rather sink his team and his chance at coaching in the NFL rather than just, you know, play his stars. Meyer has demeaned Marvin Jones in front of teammates and vengefully sat James Robinson to let Carlos Hyde roll. In return, the Jags offense seems like they’re in protest: Trevor Lawrence threw 4 picks against the [checks notes] Titans. [manic cackling] The entire running back committee added 8 total yards. Like, stand up and walk from one corner of your jail cell to the other, and then back again. There, you traveled as much as every Jags’ back combined. Also, if you’re not in a jail cell, then, congrats! You’re definitely living it up during the holidays. I really don’t know what more the Jags’ management needs to see out of Meyer — he can’t be trusted on the field or off-the-field and it looks like he doesn’t even want to be on the field — and you shouldn’t be trusting any of his players for your fantasy playoffs.
Mike Vrabel was on Urban Meyer’s coaching staff at Ohio State pic.twitter.com/E5v0xfiQWd
— Trevor Sikkema (@TampaBayTre) December 12, 2021
Clyde Edwards-Helaire: Shout it from rooftops: Variance! The Chiefs destroyed the Raiders and CEH had a rather inefficient game but claimed the top TD scorer spot in the rout, which bodes well for his fantasy value finishing out the season. Meanwhile, I was riding Travis Kelce in DFS, and got those 27 receiving yards in return for that trust. Here’s our boi JB telling us to get excited about CEH this past week on the Fantasy 6 Pack Fantasy Hour.
I hope you were watching me on @fantasysixpack this week! @F6P_Joe asked me who my DFS start guy was and I told you to play CEH! Hope you were paying attention!! #DFS #DailyFantasy https://t.co/FjFEhkAATe pic.twitter.com/m9yf8NEiXH
— JB Barry (@FantasyCoachJB) December 12, 2021
Cam Newton: Got benched. Again. I mean, let’s compare two stat lines: 178 pass yards, 1 INT, 47 rush yards, 1 TD vs 175 pass yards, 73 rush yards, 2 TDs. Yeah, Cam vs Taysom. Either Taysom got a bad contract or Cam isn’t that bad or something in-between. Whatever. Cam can’t even finish a game so you don’t want him on your fantasy team.
Mike Davis: Another 5 catches on 6 targets, 86 all purpose yards. First they reinvented Cordarelle Patterson, now they’re reinventing Mike Davis. Or maybe it’s more like re-animating. Arthur Smith stars as Re-Animator, coming to a field in 2022.
Broncos Backfield: As predicted, the Broncos feasted against the Lions — and you thought the cloven-hooved beasts were the prey — and Melvin Gordon and Javonte Williams put up 39 rushes and nearly 190 yards rushing between them. Gordon won the day with 2 TDs while Williams took only 1 ball into the end zone. According to preseason mentality, Gordon was supposed to be washed up and benched by now, but even coming off of injury, we saw him take the bulk of the rushes in a game that was largely garbage time. Gordon’s a free agent after the season, so Williams should be in line for plenty of rushes in 2022 and is a fantastic dynasty acquisition target while you’re waiting for Gordon to run out his contract.
Craig Reynolds: Undrafted practice squad guy that came up through Jacksonville and is now with the Lions? What could go wrong? Still, about 100 all purpose yards and might be worth a look in the deepest of leagues while the Lions try out all their assets for 2022.
Ja’Marr Chase: He had been getting all of his usual targets recently, but there was a ton of variance on his catches — and definitely no TDs. Up until Sunday, when he had 8 targets, 5 catches, and 2 TDs. That’s the thing about “regression” — it often comes fast. In baseball, regression will often play out over the course of a week. In football, regression might happen in the course of a single game. Chase goes a month with 1 TD? OK — targets are still there, catches are still there, and then 2 TDs in one game. Now he’s got 3 TDs in a month. Thanks, Dicey.
Austin Ekeler: Internet doctors are saying high ankle sprain. WHY CAN’T WE HAVE ANYTHING NICE? Chargers are a passing-based offense and none of the backups are really intriguing — I’d rather be chasing Rashaad Penny than Justin Jackson if Ekeler misses time.
All right friends — how did you week go? Are you waiting for anybody on Monday Night Football to bring you fame, renown, and glory? Have an awesome week and I’ll see you in the comments.