The original plan was to be visiting family with remote internet access the week prior to preseason action. So of course, a wine and food fair event just HAD to bump that back a week. The best part? We didn’t go to the wine and food fair. Too tired from all the traveling and didn’t want to spend time with the annoying relatives. That’s truth with a capital hashtag in front, peeps, and why never to book hotel rooms in advance. I know you don’t care about any of this blather, really, but want you to know that I’m a bit behind on all the goings on over the last week. I heard DX died. Ok, he didn’t die really but in our fantasy football world, being out for the remainder of the year is pretty similar. BTW, it’s bad enough to tear it once but he’s now torn his ACL 5 times. Screw Tommy John surgery, we need Danario Alexander surgery that replaces completely worthless ACLs. But enough about that, I’m gonna do my best to post what I know – very little -and what I gleaned – a bit more – from all this preseason football. I’m going to then gently apply it to this here 2013 Fantasy Football season for you all cuz that’s what I do. I’m a giver. But before I give you that, I’m here to give you this. That ‘this’ is a link to the Razzball Commenter Leagues. We don’t have many leagues. It’s embarrassing. I call my mother and cry on the phone about it and the only person who can change that is you. Maybe not you on your own, but you and another 11 you’s to join your quest for sweet Razzball swag. You can call them mini-you’s if you prefer. But enough about your Dr. Evil impersonations, it’s time to cover a bit of the magic that is preseason football for the 2013 fantasy football season…
Andre Brown – Fumbled the ball. You say ‘eh, it happens’ and Coughlin says ‘I make grown ass men like David Wilson cry when they do’. Nothing is dire at this point but it’s a situation to monitor. Brown looks to be the lead back at the goal line and the clear handcuff to David Wilson unless he drops the ball (bah-dum-bum-bum).
Daniel Thomas – Is somehow still on a roster. Yes, it’s in Miami but after all that retooling, you’d think this would’ve been fixed by now. Don’t worry, Jonas Gray should fix that for us all shortly.
Chad Henne – 8/11 for 87 yards after Yo Gabba Gabbert went 5/10 with an INT. Even if you’re not into women drawn with comicly oversized eyes and chests with tentacles going in places they never should, you should really get into Henne in 2QB leagues.
Dwayne Allen – Expected to miss a few weeks with a foot ailment but plans to be ready to go for the first regular season game of the year. I once had a plan to kidnap Liam Neeson’s family. What I’m trying to say is not all plans work out the best.
Michael Vick – 4/5 for 94 yards and a TD and was with the first team in his preseason game. He’s motivated by having to play on a one year contract and has one of the better setups for his style of play. This is why I had him as a top 15 QB in my Quarterback Rankings back in June and why he hasn’t moved.
Daryl Richardson – I swear this isn’t a gloat-fest here, but after 4 carries for 24 yards and a Pead fumble, it’s looking pretty good that I had Richardson in my top 30 Running Backs back in June. Of course, I also said I’m not overly excited about him so keep that in mind when drafting your D-Rich that you ain’t getting T-Rich
Brandon Weeden – Played primarily out of shotgun which is more in line with how he played in college and performed quite well: 10/13, 112 yards and an 8.6 yards per attempt average. I was a bit skeptical of Weeden coming into this year but for all the hype Alex Smith is getting and his moving to KC, Weeden could become the cheaper version for those 2QB leagues that require you draft a Jags or Browns QB.
Chris Givens – 82 yards and a touchdown on 3 receptions. Remember when I said you don’t need to draft Torrey Smith this year? You don’t? Well maybe it’s because you didn’t read my Chris Givens Sleeper post earlier this year. I thought of it while coin diving near the drain at your local pool.
Cordarrelle Patterson – 54 yards on 8 targets and 4 receptions. Clearly I already told you in the opening paragraph I missed the preseason but anyone who can make Matt Cassell look like an NFL quarterback is an BFFFF (Best Fantasy Football Friend Forever) in my book.
Tyler Clutts – Is currently a fullback on the Texans roster. He’s also never allowed to carry the practice gear to the field.
EJ Manuel – Speaking of Clutts’, due to Kolb slipping on a rubber matt, Manuel got all first team reps in his preseason game. Word on the street is he looked good but Kolb is still being called the starter for game one of the season. That is unless he finds himself near a slip and slide between now and then. Keep your eyes on this situation in deeper leagues. I’m currently holding Kolb in on league but am willing to drop him for a defense that I didn’t draft if that gives you any indication of how I think this’ll pan out at this point.
Chris Ivory – Still dealing with a hamstring issue but says he’ll be ready to go for the Jets second preseason game. I’m still high on him but would like to see him stay healthy for a few games before the year even starts before I start talking about my sleeper post about him. Who does this guy think he is, DMC?
Christine Michael – Now here’s a preseason game I actually caught a little bit of and I’m not gonna lie, fell in love with Michael a bit. Not in that way, silly! All in all, if Lynch goes down, I’ll give Stephen King’s Christine a joyride over Turbin at this point.
Dallas Clark – Signed with the Ravens on Sunday after signing aged wideout Brandon Stokley earlier in the week. Next step is finding Marvin Harrison so the Ravens can lure Peyton Manning out of retirement…wait, what? I have no idea what the Ravens are doing either other than trying to plug holes in their sinking Super Bowl ship with perforated duct tape.
Austin Collie – Super old news, I know, but is now with the 49ers and had a reasonable first game with them (20 yards on 3 targets and 2 receptions). Could be an interesting WR3 play for this year if he can stay healthy and doesn’t take a Kaepernick pass to the helmet.