Okay, I’ll say it: That was an entertaining football game with a lot of great plays and it didn’t suck at all, something I’d never expect from Monday Night Football. (Or Thursday Night Football. Or even Sunday Night Football, depending how drunk I was.) And then the first quarter ended. The rest of the game consisted of Arizona desperately trying to lose with the Ravens desperately trying not to win. You might call it the same thing, but if you did, you sure as heck didn’t watch this game. Combine that with Jon Gruden trying to give me a seizure, well, you can imagine how I felt afterwards. Actually, you don’t have to imagine since I’m here writing about it. And trust me, I’ll have plenty of Grudenisms after the jump to try and find catharsis from what I witnessed. Anyhow, a blocked punt and quick touchdown moved the Ravens within a one possession score with four minutes to go in the game, annnnnnnd then they just let the Cardinals offense do whatever they wanted until about a minute was left, which left just enough time for Joe Flacco to do Joe Flacco like things (shown above). A theme of the night if there ever was one. But the real question is, was it an elite theme? MAYBE.
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Kamar Aiken – 1 REC, 6 YDS. THIS MARK TRESTMAN, I CALL HIM “JESUS CHRIST”, BECAUSE HE’S GOT 11 GUYS ON HIS SIDE WHO ARE GONNA WIND UP GETTING HIM CRUCIFIED.
Javorius Allen – 3 CAR, 25 YDS and 1 REC, 10 YDS. How does he get “Buck” out of “Javorious”? Seriously. I don’t get it.
Marlon Brown – 3 REC, 22 YDS. Who’d have thought that stocking your receiving corp with undrafted free agents and practice squad cuts wouldn’t result in the best quality?
This reminds me, just the other day I had a chance encounter with the local chapter of the Joe Flacco fan club.
Joe Flacco – 26/40, 252 YDS, 1 TD, 1 INT. THIS JOE FLACCO, I CALL HIM A “TRUST FUND BRAT”, BECAUSE HE HAS A LOT OF MONEY AND ALL HE DOES IS F*CK SH*T UP.
Justin Forsett – 12 CAR, 36 YDS, 1 TD and 3 REC, 8 YDS. There’s something you don’t see every day…. Justin Forsett in the end zone.
Chris Johnson – 18 CAR, 122 YDS, 1 TD. THIS GAME, I CALL IT “2009”, BECAUSE CHRIS JOHNSON IS GOING TO WIN SOME PEOPLE THEIR FANTASY GAMES.
Steve Smith Sr. – 5 REC, 78 YDS. Steve Smith’s body must just naturally produce Cortizone at this point.
Carson Palmer – 20/29, 275 YDS, 2 TD and 2 CAR, 2 YDS. THIS RAVENS DEFENSE I CALL IT THE “CATHOLIC CHURCH”, BECAUSE THEY LET THE CARDINALS EXPLOIT ANY HOLES THEY SAW FIT.
Final Thought
The image speaks for itself.
