As a much younger donkey I tried out for the highschool basketball team. I was galloping all over the court at tryouts, nobody could defend me. Really thought I had a spot locked up on the team but when the dreaded cut day came around, they gave me the axe. I guess donkey kicking defenders is “frowned upon.” Pssssh.
Fast forward to present day. RazzBowl cuts are only days away and I’m having flashbacks to basketball tryouts. Half our impressive field of 180 industry competitors, with a handful of fans mixed in, will be eliminated come Monday evening. The night terrors are unbearable!
One person who doesn’t have to worry about the first RazzBowl cut is Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl. Fitzmaurice has now held the lead for three consecutive weeks and has been top 3 in the overall standings for the entire season except for one week when he fell down to 6th place. Pat’s performance to this point has been so dominant that the RazzBowl Committee is considering rebranding the contest as the FitzBowl next year. But the RazzBowl Committee is very corrupt so the CloroxBleachBowl is the front runner.
What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entire way season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.
When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.
Here were the top FAAB buys in the final week of RazzBowl FAAB bidding:
Darren Fells ($4, $1, $1, $1) – This is the third time I’ve written about Fells in the last two weeks. If Deshaun Watson likes him, who am I to argue? If you need a tight end, grab the 33 year old late blooming giant with 2 two touchdown games in the past four weeks.
Danny Amendola ($4, $2, $1) – I wrote about Amendola in my RazzBowl Week 1 Revelations where I said, “There’s a reason no RazzBowl competitor spent more than $1 on Amendola despite his 13 targets in week one: he’s even more fragile than Donkey Teeth’s ego. Over the past two seasons Amendola has only played in *checks notes five times*, 30 games! Mind blown. Turns out he’s less fragile than Donkey Teeth’s ego and maybe I’ve be completely underrating him,” and that’s me quoting me. Of course Amendola saw only 6 total targets in week 2 and 3 before missing week 4 with a chest injury. Well he’s back on the radar now after hauling in 16 of 19 targets over the past two weeks for 200 yards.
Mark Walton ($2, $1, $1) – We talked up Marky Mark on this week’s Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast: Waiver Wire Edition. Actually, B_Don talked him up, I said he’ll be getting plenty of carries on the worst team in football if you’re into that kind of thing. I don’t see a ton of upside here, but if you’re desperate there could be a couple solid games in the pipeline.
Chris Conley ($1, $1, $1) – It seems like Conley was a bit overlooked this past week. He’s seen 15 targets in the last two weeks and went for 103 yards and a touchdown last week. Conley has quickly become the Minstache’s second favorite target behind Charknado. If Minshew holds off Foles and keeps the job, Conley could be in for a nice second half. Heck, even if Foles retakes the job there might be hope.
Darius Slayton ($1, $1, $1) – I once spent way too high of a draft pick on Steve Slaton. He sucked and ruined all future players named Slaton or Slayton for me. Fortunately, Darius Slayton is free, so ten years later I’m cautiously dipping a toe back in. Danny Dimes seems to have a thing for him and he caught two touchdowns last week. Come on in, the water’s warm.
Ryquell Armstead ($3, $1) – Leonard Fournette’s injury history is more extensive than Antonio Brown’s crop dusting records. Armstead is the man who stands to benefit most from Fournette’s annual injury. If you can spare the roster spot then add him up. I have Armstead as a top handcuff stash right behind Mattison and Pollard.
Other players purchased in only one RazzBowl league this week: Tra Carson 2x, J.D. McKissic 2x, Jason Witten, Cameron Brate, Jonnu Smith, Jeff Wilson, Matt Schaub, Allen Lazard, Benny Snell
Find Donkey Teeth on Twitter. Subscribe to his podcast: The Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast on Itunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts.
