RCL Update: Week 1

Week 1 is in the books!  Thanks to everyone coming out and joining the RCL community.  The official count is 276 RCL teams plus another 12 from Sky’s Expert League and the 12 in our Razzball Writer’s League.  Whoa!  An equal 300.  I feel like we are all wearing togas with spray painted abs.  Blaine Gabbert is like, “my errant passes will block out the sun!” And Andy Reid and the Chiefs say they’ll play in the shade.  It is Arrowhead after all…

Sorry again I wasn’t able to get on the pod to give the RCL top-scorer through Sunday an on-air shout out; Nick was curled up in the corner with his poutines and a bottle of Canadian Club while David Wilson threw up a negative.  “I just can’t even take hearing it from JB again for a whole ‘nother year!”  We’ll get the “technical difficulties” we had this week sorted out, so field the best week 2 team for glory.  This is Sparta!

TOP SCORER: An utter smack down from ReadOptionForDummies in the Rancho Rajneesh RCL League, who’s combination of A.J. Green/Cruz/DeSean Jackson/Vernon Davis/Steve Smith put together 9 receiving touchdowns on top of Peyton’s 7 passing TDs on Thursday for a ridiculous 227.98-point opening week.  The 55-point lead over the Rancho league has struck fear in all RCL competitors.  Congratulations to ReadOption who looks to dominate if Bilal Powell emerges or they can acquire a RB2 to compliment that dominate receiving corps.

Razzball Writers League – In our epic internal league, Loudon crushed us with 206.68 points, good for 3rd across all RCL Leagues.  Tippy my hat at you good sir!  Led by the huge games by Boldin and A.J. Green, Loudon is strutting around the office with more flair than an Oklahoma State hostess.  I was able to mercifully put down Sky 163.62-126.16 led by my NFC North Rodgers/Nelson and AP.  Don’t worry Sky, greener pastures ahead!

JB’s Random Commenter League – On Cruuz Control takes a narrow 1st place lead with a 166.28 week 1 victory led by Colin Kaepernick and week 1 darling Jared Cook.  I have to say, I had a very lucky week in my biggest $ league where I wanted either Jordan Cameron (which woulda worked out fine) or Zach Sudfeld (which wouldn’t have) but both went and no one drafted Cook, who I literally took in the very last round as my TE.  Lucky me!  Back to my RCL – it was a very tight week 1 with only 23 points separating 1st to 6th of the winning teams.  Yours truly takes a week 1 loss to The Green Bastards which was kinda expected with Cam and Steve Smith vs. a tough Seattle defense.  I’m coming league!  Look out Heisenberg!

Razzball Rebels – You’ve always gotta look out for that Poon Jab who takes a commanding early lead with a 183.86 week from an all-around solid line-up with no one topping 30 points.  RGIII and Owen Daniels had solid MNF games to vault the Poon into 1st.

Pabst & Razz – Yeah whatever this means ラーメン took first place as I hope Calligraphy doesn’t break this post.  Huge games from Demaryius Thomas and AP had them taking first, but it would’ve been an even bigger week had they heeded my David Wilson hate!

A League of RCL Thrones – In the very awesomely named Thrones league, Sphinx Tours narrowly takes the leading spot led by A.J. Green and Jared Cook for a 177.70 week.  Opponent Amish Mafia sure took a tour of that Sphinx!  The Hound barely missed 1st by less than a point with a 176.82-point week led by AP.

In-A-Gadda-Da-Wheeden – A very even spread for the other 11 teams, but front-runner Brewtown Merkins takes a big 32 point lead over the field and a 1-0 record led by the dynamic performances of Peyton and Boldin.  Wait, is this 2003?

RCLBBWSVU – A lot of high scoring across all teams in this league, Blazing Americans takes the top spot with a 181.48 opener, led by week 1’s MVP Peyton Manning.

My Wife Frowns Upon This – All 12 teams topped 120 points in what looks to be one of the tightest leagues.  The very originally titled Christopher’s Team took top honors with a nice A.J. Green/Victor Cruz combo leading Chris to a 178.86 kickoff week.

Monday Morning QB’s – Another very tight opening week with teams 1-5 all scoring in the 160’s.  Stick’m narrowly edged out kitchen stinks for top scoring with 168.36 points led by Reggie Bush and the great Monday Night game from Andre Johnson.

Cracklin’ Brats RCL – Aliens have taken over the Cracklin’s Brats league, with the inhabitants of Planet 10 taking over the league Independence Day style with a 184.58 opener led by Peyton, Reggie and Witten.  That sounds like it could be an alien trio for a sitcom.  Just look out for a computer virus made by 1997 computers that could bring down an entire advanced alien armada!

Bobby Boucher’s Water Bottle – Bobby Boucher sure got that good water from a glacier in Alaska from Kaep N’ Crunch who put 192.38 led by Peyton and – – h-h-hold on a minute!  Your team is named Kaep N’ Crunch and you don’t even have Kaepernick!?  What gives, bro?  Luckily Peyton and Boldin led the Crunch to victory despite worse false advertising than McDonald’s trying to convince you they’re healthy.

The Podcast Kingdom – Congrats to my good friends Will and the Pirates, absolutely crushing in week 1 led by Peyton, Peterson and Fitzgerald (sounds like a 1800’s lawfirm) putting up 199.38 points and taking the top spot in Nick’s league.  Nick – I don’t see David Wilson on your team!

Nick’s Bad JB Impersonation – In by far the best named league, because, well let’s face it Jack Full of Hate is 100% right on this one, Straight Cash Homey took the cake putting up 159.72 points in a tight week 1.  Led by the Aaron Rodgers/Jordy Nelson combo along with Jordan Cameron, not unlike my Writer’s League team, I obviously have a team I’m rooting for (besides, of course, you too Jack).

Any Given Sunday – Another very tight league from Oliver Stone’s fanboys, Stafford Infection with a very apropos picture took the top spot with 175.38 points.  And this team actually had Stafford, Kaep N’ Crunch!  Solid performances across the board from Amendola, Nelson, McCoy and limp-wristed Vereeen has Stafford raging with pathogens.  Hopefully one of his medications can help Vereen heal up.

Booty Hunters Unlimited – Suck For Luck takes a commanding 29 point lead over the field with a big 189.32 week over the 2nd-highest scoring Purple Jesus who put up 173.38 in one of the week’s tightest matchups.  Tough loss for Jesus… Suck got big games on Monday Night Football from Vick and DeSean to be able to put away Jesus’s Kaep and Boldin.

Take On Jaywrong – Despite a target on his back and absolutely preposterous San Diego homerism, JayWrong’s Hand Schaub takes an early lead in his RCL League led by, are you serious, derp-Philip Rivers, Jordy and McCoy.  Why didn’t you start Ronnie Brown and Woodhead as your other two backs to compliment Ryan Mathews instead?  Geez, not much of a Chargers fan I guess…

Murphatron’s RCL – Unfortunately Murph couldn’t “re-prah-zent!” and goes to 0-1 while those darned, oh-so-Cuddly Penguins dominated the field with 193.38 points led by Peyton/Marshall/Welker and the 26-point scoring KC D.  We will play defense in the shade!

The Razzbro League – A huge week from Milton Street’s Team putting up a 209.78 burger and was leading RCL scoring through Sunday, taking the 2nd highest scoring honors.  Kaepernick and Jared Cook were huge, then the dynamic combo of A.J. Green and Anquan Boldin fueled the dominance.

Take On Jaywrong 2 – JayWrong’s other RCL league, where he surprisingly only has Antonio Gates, was led by Fish’s Official Team putting up 179.68 with the unstoppable combo of Peyton and AP.  Somebody trade Philip Rivers to JayWrong for Russell Wilson, he’ll do it!

Razzball Experts League – In Sky’s attempt to put away industry experts, Sky failed miserably going 0-1 rolling the dice on Quinton Patton.  How the hell did you end up getting T-Rich, Lynch AND Gore in that league Sky!?  He should be fine.  The top scorer was Fantasysnob – one of the select few teams to top 200 – putting up 201.46.  Led by Anquan Boldin and solid games from Witten and Hartline, the ‘snob put down Nathan from Revel Sports by over 100 points.

The Shituation Room – Oh how I love a good Sloppy Joe, and those kings of sloppy, the ManwichMen took the top spot putting up 182.52.  Hilarious team name with the picture of Aaron Hernandez.  Joe is about to get so sloppy on A-Hern… Disgusting!  Led by A.J. Green and Jason Witten, the M’Men will look to go 2-0 against the Dothraki Apocalypse, another great team name and picture.  I look forward to seeing who the victor will be in that one.

The Shadynastys – Team Long takes the early lead over the ‘nastys with a 181.62 week led by A.J. Green and Boldin, a combo I’ve seen across a lot of RCL Leagues.  Team Long will look to make it two straight wins to start the year against Million Milton Team who is the same owner of the Razzbro League high scorer.  Too bad you can’t consolidate teams, Milton!

One More RCL – Another very tight week one in the One More RCL league with spots 1-4 all finishing within 4 points of each other.  Jay Feely is my QB narrowly edged out first place, thankfully led by Peyton’s huge game and not by Jay Feely.

Razzball – In the laziest named league (I kid Fish, thanks for starting one up!) Peter’s Perfect Team smoked the field with a 191.50 outburst led by, you guessed it, yet another A.J. Green/Anquan Boldin combo.  You were pretty perfect, Peter, pretty perfect I say.

Thanks again for joining the RCL Leagues this year, and look for a master standings page with how you stack up against the competish going up in the next week or two.  Good luck in week 2!