brownthrust

I probably should have found a 49ers highlight to go with the title, but there weren’t any. I’m serious.

What a night of football! Said no one ever. In what was probably a taste of things to come for all future Monday Night Football games, the opening salvo of last night’s double-header extravaganza (the sarcasm is already palpable) of the Steelers versus Washington and the Rams versus the 49ers was all I needed to further convince me that Mondays in general should never exist. In an evening that started with some promise for Washington, they soon returned to their normal NFC East ways, and funny how that return also matched the return of O.G. Cousins. Which also seems like a cool rap name. The Steelers soon took over the game because that’s what happens when a NFL defense lets you do whatever you want. The fact that Washington are 2-15 at home on Monday nights and 5-20 in their last 25 primetime games might have something to do with it too. I’m not sure what, but that’s an astounding stat. And so last night, as that first game winded down, a sadness deep in my heart rose, anticipating what was soon to come. And that was the Rams and 49ers game, a battle that will probably end up determining which team reaches 5-11 and 4-12, respectively. God is good, some say, and I believe this is why I’m an atheist. And yeah, the Steelers and 49ers ended up winning, but I’m pretty sure we all lost for it. And one thing’s for sure, after Keenan Allen died, along with the Chargers morale for the rest of the season, I think we know which is the best California team now: the Raiders. And the Stanford Marching Band.

 

Antonio Brown8 REC, 126 YDS, 15.8 AVG, 2 TD. Listen, I’m not Chuck Noll or Buddy Ryan, but I’m pretty sure single coverage on Antonio Brown isn’t that great of an idea guys. Like, Washington’s new slogan they picked in the offseason “Aggression to the Mean” is just not what they thought it was, and it appears neither can be said of Josh Norman so far.

Kirk Cousins30/43, 329 YDS, 7.7 AVG, 2 INT, 72.7 RTG and 1 CAR, 8 YDS. Well, it’s been a while, but this performance sorta makes me miss competent Kirk Cousins, from like almost half of the games last year. Or was it four games? Maybe it was four. Solution: Maybe someone check if Cousins is legally blind? Oh, almost forgot his Grudenism… THIS STEELERS DEFENSE, I CALL EM A FRIDAY NIGHT IN THE OZARKS, BECAUSE THEY’RE HAVING THEIR WAY WITH COUSINS.

Blaine Gabbert22/35, 170 YDS, 4.9 AVG, 1TD, 84.2 RTG and 9 CAR, 43 YDS, 4.8 AVG. Gabbert sounds like a part of the turkey you don’t eat. And I would say that Gabbert is the perfect personification of the Chip Kelly offense I’ve come to know love: White and ineffective.

Todd Gurley17 CAR, 47 YDS, 2.8 AVG and 1 REC, -5 YDS. Colin Kaepernick has a point guys. STOP POLICE BRUTALITY AND TODD GURLEY FOR THOSE WHO DON’T OWN HIM. PLEASE.

Carlos Hyde23 CAR, 88 YDS, 3.8 AVG, 2 TD and 2 REC, 5 YDS, 2.5 AVG. Hunh. Turns out “Los Angeles Rams defense” is a perfect anagram of “Washington Rams offense”.

Case Keenum17/35, 130 YDS, 3.7 AVG, 2 INT, 34.2 RTG and 2 CAR, 11 YDS. Maybe Case Keenum is Jeff Fisher’s way of challenging a God that has always gotten him seven-eight wins no matter what he does in life? This has to be it, right?

rogersbounce

Eli Rogers6 REC, 59 YDS, 9.8 AVG, 1 TD. THIS GUY ELI ROGERS, I CALL HIM JENNIFER WHITE BECAUSE HE’S NOT FLUSTERED WHEN BALLS BOUNCE IN HIS FACE!

Ben Roethlisberger27/37, 300 YDS, 8.1 AVG, 3 TD, 1 INT, 112.4 RTG and 1 CAR, -2 YDS. I know that no one wants to hold onto Ben’s Balls, but that’s no excuse for not securing any of those potential turnovers that he threw in the first half (including the one he actually did)… Actually, you think he was just like: “The Ben just want to watch cheerweeders bouncy bounce, so he throw to other team. HARF HARF.” I think that’s accurate.

Torrey Smith2 REC, 13 YDS, 6.5 AVG. I think if you described Chip Kelly’s offense on the field as vertical, as opposed to horizontal, I’d probably say that you were being generous.

DeAngelo Williams26 CAR, 143 YDS, 5.5 AVG, 2 TD and 6 REC, 28 YDS, 4.7 AVG. Holy sh*t, who needs Le’Veon Bell? I mean, could someone tell me how old DeAngelo Williams is?… Because I don’t have a clue. He’s like 956, right? Pretty sure I’m close. Something I actually did learn last night was that DeAngelo Williams’s middle name is Chondon. Hmm.

 

Final Thought

csmjeweweaaj9dt

This picture of miserable Dan Snyder from last night is soooo good.

I’ve had an interesting perspective of NFL owners, as I’m sure you know, I am, in fact, a Chargers fan (much to my chagrin), and to add to that, I also live in D.C.. I feel like that gives me a special ability to see not just how one sh*tty owner runs things, but two. And I think I know what it would take to be an actual good NFL owner. A good owner would probably stay behind-the-scenes, completely in the background. The only time you would see the owner is if it’s for a fire, a hire, or they want to donate a field to a local high school. That’s. It. Dan Snyder is the antithesis of that concept. Unlike Dean Spanos (who is quite the dumpster fire himself), Snyder’s hands are all over everything. I mean, Joe Gibbs couldn’t even do anything under this owner, and he’s won championships in multiple sports! I could add to the list with the Albert Haynesworth LOL-incident, all the way to his beyond child-like resistance to changing a slur, but let’s be honest, unlike other terrible owners, he’s not exactly close to his deathbed. So I’m pretty sure the District is f*cked for quite a while…

Oh, also, bonus Final Thought, but was Los Angeles ever really that excited to have the Rams back? I’m pretty sure that they still don’t even know…

 

 

  1. Brett says:
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    Wasn’t big on taking Gurley. But I got him and, well, that was the easy part of the early season schedule. Damn.

    You guys gonna be doing anything with idps? I have no idea where to look for advice with them. My linebackers didn’t tackle anybody this week.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Brett: Kevin still appears on the pod from time to time, you are welcome to ask questions to him here: https://twitter.com/kevkumpf?lang=en.

      Honestly, I’ve tried looking for a replacement, but the quality just hasn’t been found yet…

  2. Blake says:
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    Question about my WR corps in my PPR league, was wondering if I should pickup Kerley. I have the following (I lost keenan Allen)

    WR: J Jones
    WR: S Diggs
    flex: J Nelson

    B: T sharpe
    B: T Benjamin
    B: C Hogan

    any of those worth dropping for Kerley? seems like he is going to get volume this year

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Blake: Eh, I actually love your bench right now, lot of guys people are going to grab there off their waiver. I say hold.

  3. And Now the Jon Lovitz Dancers! says:
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    ah yes, the rogers blurb, such a perfect reference for something that comes out at 3 AM! ha

  4. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    and it turns out the owner of the rams maybe didn’t tank as hard as i thought in STL (he’s also destroying teams that used to be competitive in NBA and NHL, i can’t speak to his soccer team, due to the ownership of which he had given away 1/8th of the Rams home games the last 5 or so years to make some extra cheese, and he’s doing that again this year, which seems odd when you move into new super stadium and actually want to sell tickets, but this last of course being a new concept i figured he might have), but not ever improving your O-line over a period of about 10 years it turns out doesn’t work too well in other cities either, huh, learn something new every day.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Ray-Ray: Tremendous some people have said this. Really great people. The smartest people. Believe me!

      • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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        @Ray-Ray: just like I talk, and read some nietzsche it won’t scare you so much (or david foster wallace). it’s like bigfoot, once you get used to the smell he’s just another mammal.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: To be fair, I’m sure an owner recognizes putting a winning product on the field is in their best interest… but then again, I’m talking about a city that had the Clippers, who were terrible for decades at a time.

  5. Zandy says:
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    with Bortles at QB and an open bench spot, are you picking up Wentz?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zandy: Yes, there’s nothing to lose there unless you see something more useful out there.

      • Zandy says:
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        @Jay: Really just Kenneth Dixon, Tyrell Williams, Marriota, Osweiler, Dak and Flacco out there

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Zandy: Yeah, if you don’t need Williams, then Wentz is fine.

  6. Nick says:
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    LA D really screwed the pooch for me, 0 pts & I lose by 1.5pts…ahh fantasy football!

    Anyways, worth bidding any $ for T Benjamin, Pryor, Fuller, Agholor, Royal, Enunwa or Cruz, dropping S Smith or Vereen/Starks? 10 team standard..

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Nick: I have no idea how they allowed the 49ers to do that. I would drop Starks for Benjamin, yeah.

      • Nick says:
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        @Jay: how much $ you throwing at him, $5? Start with $100.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Nick: He could be highly sought after… I might go as high as 15-20. Our FAAB post goes live in a few hours, I’d ping there too.

          • Nick says:
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            @Jay: was listening to SxM Fantasy Sports & they took a liking to T Benjamin as well but considering high ownership didn’t discuss for long as a waiver pickup. Based on team below (weak at WR), maybe pull trigger on decent bid, I’d assume you agree..

            QB-Big Ben
            WR-Marshall, Maclin, J Brown
            RB-Freeman & David Johnson
            Flex- Lat Murray
            TE-Barnidge
            Bench- Forsett, Snead, T Taylor, Starks, Vereen, S Smith Sr

            Thanks bud!

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Nick: Eh, I wouldn’t struggle with it. I like Snead and Brown there as match plays. Benjamin is around that area in my head.

  7. dom says:
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    Kyle Rudolph is available in my 10 team PPR, Ertz is banged up so I need a TE. who’s the drop?

    QB Wilson
    RB L Miller
    RB CJ Anderson
    RB L Murray
    WR AJ Green
    WR A Jeffery
    WR M Floyd
    TE Ertz*
    Flex J Matthews

    J Winston
    T Taylor
    Yeldon
    C Sims
    D Washington
    Torrey Smith
    Michael Thomas
    P Dorsett

    Drop Ertz? Tyrod as my 3rd QB? Deandre Washington cuz he got outplayed by Jalen Richard?

    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @dom: I’d drop Taylor here. I like him, but you already have Winston if Wilson stays questionable with his ankle.

      • dom says:
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        @Jay: so you must be a believer in Washington? he makes sense as a Latavius handcuff but im concerned that he got less touches than Jalen Richard

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @dom: I’m okay with him, but I think we’ve discussed this in the past, I don’t think there’s a reason to hold onto three QBs in most formats.

  8. Scott says:
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    Your Grudenisms are hitting their stride Jay! ROFLMAO

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Yeah, I had a dud on Sunday that I pushed to motivate me further. Honestly, never thank me, thank Jay Gruden. That man is an amazing… something.

  9. dom says:
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    i have first waiver priority in a move to end setting and an open roster spot, should I make a waiver claim on Matt Jones or Crowell in a 10 team PPR?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @dom: Jones… I know he had a bad night, but there’s no reason he should be on the wire right now.

  10. Scott says:
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    Speaking of Chip Kelly, did you see what DeMarco Murray did yesterday with the Titans? Amazing what having a player actually play to their strengths does.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Yeah, I thought he did well, and was a believer with him going to the Titans. I’m not going to sit here and say Chip Kelly is amazing or terrible, but I think he has a body of work that we can start judging from. If I’m being serious.

      • Scott says:
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        @Jay: I could have started DeMarco over either AP or Freeman this weekend. I need to trade one of those guys after the first good game.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Scott: Yeah, that might help you out in other areas a lot if this Murrey can keep it up.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @The Harrow: Also, to be fair, that Eagles offensive line was just plain offensive last year.

  11. William Hung says:
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    though my starters played well, my bench left a lot to be desired… other than Charles Sims, my bench of Torrey Smith, Corey Coleman, Tyler Boyd, and Matt Jones were lackluster and did not provide any confidence that they could be bye week fillers.

    I guess Chip Kelley’s new offense is no longer vertical – and is just short safe passes to possession type receivers. Should I give these bench guys another week or swap them out for whoever shows up in [email protected]’s waiver column?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @William Hung: I mean, isn’t that all Keenum can do? Let’s see what Matt says, but I think your bench is okay for now.

      • William Hung says:
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        @Jay: your brain has been fried by bad QB play – you meant to say Gabbert… did you see Deadspin? a guy ran out on the field in the middle of the Rams / Niners game and the commentators were like “this is the most exciting thing right now”

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @William Hung: Haha, you’re right. Honestly though, they kinda blurred into the same thing last night.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @William Hung: Oh yeah, just watched that vid, that was indeed a great call.

  12. JohnnyBeGood says:
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    Hey Jay!

    Need ur help…Which WR in 12 team league 0.5 ppr league u like best, can u rank these?

    Q Enunwa
    D Adams
    E Rogers
    J Kerley
    Ty Williams

    Thanks!!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @JohnnyBeGood: Rogers, Williams, Enunwa, Adams, Kerley… I’m honestly not sure what to think of Adams yet. Pretty sure it’s the Nelson/Cobb show exclusively right now.

  13. Whatever says:
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    Hey Jay,

    Need some objective advice:

    Ten team league (PPR). Philip Rivers is my QB. Since you are Chargers fan I am sure you are bummed out about Keenan Allen injury. I am concerned with the Chargers offense without Allen. I was thinking of proposing a trade of Brandon Marshall for Jameis Winston. I admit i am a newbie in fantasy football but i am worried also about Jets offense taking a step back and Winston looks like the real deal.

    My WR: Julio Jones, Brandon Marshall, Crabtree, Edelman, Kelvin Benjamin, Travis Benjamin, Ted Ginn.

    Mariota is also available on waivers but not sure what I should do. Thoughts?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Whatever: More like a survivor than a fan. Yeah, do not do that trade. Rivers will be fine without Allen. Keep Rivers here for a few weeks and let’s see what the adjustments are.

      • Whatever says:
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        @Jay: Thanks Jay.

  14. Odor's Odor-izzi spray says:
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    Would you drop one or both of Tyler Lockett and Devin Funchess for Tajai Sharpe and Travis Benjamin in a .75 point ppr league with shallow benches? (four spots, Jamaal Charles and Gordon occupying two)

      • Odor's Odor-izzi spray says:
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        @Jay: good deal, and then do you think hold Lockett or toss him for Sharpe? How much of a $100 budget are you throwing at Benjamin? Something like 11-17 range?

  15. Scott says:
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    Hey Jay –
    I guess with Julius Thomas questionable this coming week I need to target a backup TE on the Waiver Wire. Who do you like best among the following options: Jack Doyle, Larry Donnell, Kyle Rudolph, Jacob Tamme or Jermaine Gresham? Doyle led that group in Week 1 points, but I’m kind of tempted to go with Rudolph since he got 8 targets to Doyle’s 4 and Donnell’s 2.

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scott: Yeah, I think Rudolph is the temp guy there.

  16. Eifert Tower says:
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    Who is the better handcuff for Ryan Matthews– Sproles or Barner?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Eifert Tower: I would say Barner. If Mathews goes down, Sproles would probably stay in the same role he always has.

  17. Steve D. says:
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    Drop LeGarrette Blount for Ken Dixon in a 12 team, dynasty, PPR auction league? If he clears, I can get him for nothing, otherwise I’d need to bid on him. Thinking of putting a couple of bucks down. Blount is good, not great, especially in a PPR. Other bench backs are Jeremy Hill and Langford.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve D.: Eh, I actually like Blount a little more there.

    • The Harrow says:
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      @Steve D.: still should be able to trade blount for something. very surprised dixon wasn’t owned in a dynasty (you must have shorter benches, like 4-5 person benches).

  18. Brian says:
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    I have QB troubles my starting QB is Tyrod Taylor and I need to replace him with someone on waivers out of these choices. Wentz, Flaco , Alex Smith, Tannehill or Cutler. It appears based on schedule that Flaco would be the safer choice but Wentz is intriguing what would you do my league is 6 pt passing tds.

    Thanks

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Brian: Flacco will let you down, trust me. I like Wentz here, just for ceiling alone. Though, I would say, hanging with Tyrod at least another week isn’t suicide unless you are specifically streaming.

  19. a bag of sand says:
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    How much out of 100 would you drop on t coleman?
    10T ppr, thx

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @a bag of sand: Maybe 5-7… we have the FAAB post up I believe, double check there too.

  20. Ryan says:
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    I’m in a 14 team ppr league. I was just offered Gurley barnridge Marvin jones Chris hogan for Thomas Reed foster Coleman. Really tempted to do this trade but I’m worried about the downgrade I take at te.

    qb andy dalton
    wr deandre hopkins
    wr keenan allen
    wr demaryius thomas
    rb danny woodhead
    rb giovani bernard
    te jordan reed
    w/r/t arian foster
    bn christine michael
    bn kamar aiken
    bn tevin coleman
    bn tajae sharpe
    bn rgiii
    bn michael thomas
    k steven hauschka
    def jets

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Ryan: I am sorta too, but this is a good disount on Gurley… I’m fine with it.

      • Ryan says:
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        @Jay: should I be concerned with Gurley’s dud last night? Is this foreshadowing of what to expect going forward?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Ryan: No, I think he’ll be fine. It’ll be difficult with Keenum, but I think he’ll find a way.

  21. Sam says:
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    Just to finish on my comment yesterday, I ended up making a trade but not the Jennings/Brown one – I got Crabtree and Hurns for Langford and Sanu. Whattya think?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Sam: Honestly? It’s okay, and fair. I did prefer getting Jennings in that deal though.

      • Sam says:
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        So did I, but he backed out at the last second because he felt like he was selling low on Jennings – lol.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Sam: Well, haha, he was, but I think this trade is still good. You did fine.

  22. Spring Blake says:
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    Got an offer of devonta freeman for my carlos hyde.

    I’m intrigued but a little worried about the freeman / coleman split. Would you make the move?

    Thanks jay! Excited for another season

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Spring Blake: I’m not worried about the split, but there are valid questions on whether or not Freeman can repeat. There is a huge risk here, because what we see might be what we get, but if it were me, I’d love to do this. What an offer though…

      • Spring Blake says:
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        @Jay: I know I’m so tempted….fuck it!

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Spring Blake: Trust me, I am too. Honestly, I’d probably do it. Ugh, but so risky.

  23. Magic says:
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    Is Jack Doyle the new Eifert for 2016?
    The whole TE class looks very weak so far (granted its only wk 1!!)

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Magic: Yeah, based on the context of TEs this year, I could see that, for sure.

  24. Packers says:
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    In a 12 team 2QB league and only one waiver claim a week, I only have 2 quarterbacks on my roster. Didn’t know the rules, my bad. So, what order would you set your claim priority this week?
    Choices would be McCown, E. Rodgers,C. Hogan, T. Williams. I would waive Starks.
    Thanks.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Packers: I think 2 QBs on your roster is okay at this point, you’ll have to handle bye weeks differently, but there’s no rush. I’d like Rogers, Hogan, or Williams there for Starks, but right now probably going Rodgers for upside, or Hogan if you need an actual possible starter.

    • The Harrow says:
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      @Packers: you can have 2 if it’s the kind of league where some starters out are in FA all the time. i’d have more if not. i’m hang on them like grim death if not.

  25. Rondo says:
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    I’m scarred by watching a grown man in tights twerk. After week 1, can you pick who you see as your top 5 guys to grab in a .5PPR?

    J. White
    Hogan
    Tyrell Williams
    Aiken
    Tevin Colman
    Riddick
    Cruz
    Kerley
    Corey Coleman
    Stills

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Rondo: BROWN CAN DO NOTHING WRONG MAN.

      Probably going Riddick, Hogan, Williams, White there.

  26. a bag of sand says:
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    Eifert worth holding in 10tm leagues?

    • a bag of sand says:
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      @a bag of sand: Have D Allen starting

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @a bag of sand: If you need a body elsewhere, no. Not with Allen.

  27. Rondo says:
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    Would you trade Kelvin Benjamin for Dez Bryant in a 14-team league with .25PPR?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Rondo: Only if it’s not a keeper.

  28. MiamiDolFAN77 says:
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    After having wept all of Monday over another Keenan Allen injury it’s time to focus on a replacement off waivers.

    My starters: Luck, Gurley, Jennings, Fitzgerald, Hilton, Maclin, Gronkowski, Shepard, Patriots D, Catanzaro

    My bench: LBell, JGordon, Tannehill, DAllen, KDixon, DeAndre Washington, DParker, Dion Lewis (IR slot) and the droppable Keenan Allen.

    Who should I pick up off waivers?

    Tyrell Williams, Mike Wallace, Vincent Jackson or someone I am not thinking of??

    Or should I think about making a trade?

    Thanks!!

    • MiamiDolFAN77 says:
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      @MiamiDolFAN77:

      This is also a 1 point PPR league

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @MiamiDolFAN77: I’m still hung over from Sunday because of that.

      You have enough depth there to survive, so I’d take a chance on Williams to see if he can pick up some slack. Chargers fans know that this guy is probably the next Malcom Floyd. I’m keeping my bias in check though, but I’m trying to push him has hard as I can without sounding like a homer.

  29. William Hung says:
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    @Jay – Do you think Brandon LaFell will really take hold of the #2 WR role in Cincy and make Tyler Boyd irrelevant? I am debating on whether or not to make a move on Tyrell Williams for Boyd.

    • William Hung says:
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      Or even Torrey Smith