Rashad Jennings is at the top of my list, the very tip-toppiest top and I very much want to push him off into the fantasy abyss. There are reasons he sucked, but they don’t really matter.  He’s a nice dynasty stash, but that won’t help you much today. Hopefully you squeaked by with Jennings crapping the bed, but there were others as well. Other players that we can fixate our fantasy angst on, such as —

Chris Johnson: With Kenny Britt in the lineup CJ had been living up to his draft position, but not this week. 58 yards is not what you want from your #1 pick in your championship game. His status for next year’s draft will be hotly debated.

Ahmad Bradshaw: He totaled 71 yards, but also had a fumble as the Giants lost another game in sad fashion.  He’s been a nice player this season and was had for fairly cheap on draft day.  It’s hard to hate him too much, but ill feelings are fine.

Wes Welker: Tom Brady did throw for three touchdowns, but none to our man Welker who accumulated a big 19 yards receiving.  On a cold, semi-windy day, I figured we would see vintage Brady to Welker all day, but Brady threw for only 140 yards while Woodhead and The Firm ran for a couple miles.   Dubya Dubya, this week we don’t love ya love ya.

Calvin Johnson: He was battling ankle problems from the 3rd quarter on and ended the game with 52 yards and no touchdowns.  That’s not what you want from your stud receiver.  The Lions did win back to back road games for the first time since the Harding administration, but that won’t soothe the fantasy beast welling inside of you.  Drink some milk.  It may help.

Anquan Boldin: I’m really not sure how Boldin has been so poor this season.  He had one huge game, a few ok games and a whole lot of crap-filled games.  With only 2 receptions for 15 yards he sure didn’t have one of his ok games.

Mike Williams (SEA): He had 4 good games all season.  Hopefully you weren’t relying on him too much, but 2 receptions and 15 yards is just plain bad.

Larry Fitzgerald: His crappy game was on Saturday night, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.  He had somehow kept fantasy relevance with a cavalcade of sucktastic quarterbacks, but his luck ran out when he caught one ball for 26 yards.  Hopefully next season he’ll have at least an average QB.

Peyton Hillis: He led a lot of teams to the fantasy playoffs, but he has been wearing down at the end of games and toward the end of the season because he runs like a bull with a lot of life insurance.  I didn’t figure on a big game, but a little better than 40 total yards.  Hillis, why did you kill us?

Reggie Wayne: Mr. Asomugha tied up Reggie Way like 90/94 on a Friday at rush hour with a 20 car pile up.

Chris Cooley: He had slightly below average numbers with 5 receptions for 48 yards, but he dropped at least 4 passes and one touchdown that hit him right in the chest.

Naaman Roosevelt: He had more fantasy points than any the guys above.  Yes, Naaman Roosevelt.

Darren McFadden: He totaled 76 yards on 15 touches and should have been used much more.  His matchup against a defense that gives up big runs was perfect, especially since he leads the league in 20+ yard runs.  If he had 20+ touches he could have easily broke one, but as it is, he was under used and now he is on this list and now I am sad again.

Ray Rice: He ran the ball 25 times for 92 yards, but couldn’t find the end zone and for some reason was only targeted twice in the passing game and had one catch for zero yards.  The Browns had been giving up a lot of yards to RBs through the air, but no go this week.  I was expecting more.

Philip Rivers: All I can say about the Chargers is, wow.  What in the hell?  It could seem somewhat understandable if they had already been eliminated from playoff contention, but they hadn’t and they sure don’t deserve to be in the playoffs after getting a beat down by the hands of the Bengals.  Oh, and you can add Vincent Jackson to this list.  Their failure went hand and hand and dominoed into our fantasy teams.  Have they no shame!?

Jon Kitna: This is old news, but his injury cost me dearly and I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

Peyton Manning: But wait, he didn’t have a horrible game.  Yeah, but he pulled a Brian Westbrook on the fantasy world and slid down as he was running into the endzone.  His ok 17 points in ESPN standard games could have been 23 and turned a lot of games, so he goes into the goat category.

Those were just a few of the turds of the week, but there were also plenty of fantasy saviors out there.  I hope you had more players from the following list than the preceding one!

Josh Freeman: This was his coming out party that was accompanied by many Seachicken gifts.  His 5 touchdowns were the most by any QB this season and easily Freeman’s career high which was 3 in his rookie debut against the Packers.  He hadn’t passed for more than 2 TDs this season.  He’s Big Ben sans the sexual assault.

Aaron Rodgers: Well he sure didn’t miss a beat.  ARod was on target all day and even though he didn’t top Freeman’s 5 TD’s, he did have 4 and had over 400 yards!  He will win a lot of fantasy championships this season.

Tim Tebow: Razzball commenter Greg had a choice between Tebow and Freeman and I was a Tebow naysayer, but Tebow showed me and a lot of other people.  How much of it was the Texans God awful pass defense and how much was Tebow’s skill, is hard to say, but to be able to throw for 300 yards on any NFL team takes more than a little luck.  I’m not fully on board, but I’m keeping my mind open; it would be stupid not to.  Oh, and Greg, you can go ahead and write that Tebow post even though he was the 6th best scoring QB this week, but I hope you went with Freeman!

Carson Palmer: I can’t believe I have to talk about Palmer, but without TO and Cinco he had his most TD passes of the season.  The Chargers were supposedly good at defending the pass, but couldn’t seem to stop Jerome Simpson who as of right now is the #1 fantasy receiver of this week and there is no way in hell you started him.

Jamaal Charles: While Tom Jones was doing his best to fumble and 2 yard run his way to crapdom, JC was going all Superstar with 2 touchdowns and 117 yards, but Haley didn’t see fit to give him more than 17 touches to Jones’ 23.  Todd Haley tore a quad muscle in practice last week and I’m glad.

Matt Forte: The on again and off again Forte was on again against the Jets for the tune of 169 yards and 1 touchdown.  It is so hard to judge the long term value of Forte, but he keeps flashing the ability to be a fantasy stud, especially in the Martz system.

Jared Cook: 96 yards and a touchdown for Cook could be the start of something big, at least for dynasty purposes.  If you are in a dynasty, grab Cook.  He has elite ability, but has been developing at a snail’s pace.  Next year might be at jack rabbit pace.

Rob Gronkowski: Two touchdowns is what you get when you don’t have to choose between AHer and Gronk.  I’m not sure how this will resolve itself, but I don’t see it really happening unless someone stays hurt.

Dwayne Bowe: He stepped out of his Cassel-less slump in a big way.  As long as Bowe keeps his head together he has the tools to be a top 5 receiver next season.

Johnny Knox: My guy of course goes off against a supposedly good Jets pass defense in a cold, snowy game.  Fantasy football is a cruel, cruel mistress/whore.

LeGarrette Blount: He went off in the second half and ended with 164 yards rushing.  And he made one of the cleanest hurdles of a defender I’ve ever seen, but he’s used to doing that.

  1. Nick says:

    @Doc: I have Roddy White/Vick/McCoy/Hartley & 47pts. He has Akers and 104pts. How do you see this playing out? Do I have a shot? Is that really a question with Vick still left…

  2. Matt says:

    I’m down 11.9 in the Superbowl, and have Vick and DJax left
    The other guy has Celek and the Philly D…how do you like our chances?

  3. Matt says:

    And we had to survive Fitzgerald & Jennings & Bradshaw, while Forte sat on our bench…

  4. So So says:

    Bowe and Patriots D on the Bench. CJ starting. Darnit, Darnit, Darnit…. Only up by 18 he has Matt Ryan and either Peterson or Bush I have McCoy then they make me wait till Tuesday what the. Thanks for the help Doc when i get my check for the year either first or second you will be remembered with some Whisky

  5. papa says:

    I had Rodgers, he had Rivers.
    Game. Over.

    Thanks for helping me win a championship, Doc!

  6. ichirosan says:

    One of my teams is “only” 25 points behind despite having the craptastic foursome of Jon Kitna, Larry Fitzgerald, Wes Welker and Rashad Jennings, plus the epic mehness of Ray Rice and the Dallas DEF.

    Somehow, I have a Hail Mary shot (or at least a chance to make it look closer than it really was) when LeSean McCoy plays thanks to Kellen Winslow. Who knew?

  7. ichirosan says:

    @ichirosan: Oh, and I forgot to mention I left Crabtee on the bench.


  8. Clyde Prompto says:

    I had Peyton, VJax, the Chargers’ D and Kevin “Zero Catches” Boss. I’m up 10 with my opponent rolling out Brees tonight. Oh well, at least I got some nice booze for Christmas to help ease the pain.

  9. keith says:

    So, this was the second time I benched Carson Palmer this season – the last time he scored 40 pts. Only 30 this time. Fucking Rex Grossman.

    I also started Welker and Fitzgerald. Oh, and CJ.

    And yet I still have a 68 point lead (163-95) going into Tuesday.

    Think 68 points is enough to hold off Vick, Mccoy and Webb?


  10. Wilsonian says:

    I’ve got a keeper league question for ya:

    Who’s the better keeper QB: Matty Ice, Romo, Stafford, Cutler?

    Who’s the better keeper WR: Wayne, Austin, Buc Williams, Dez?

    Who’s the better keeper RB: Moreno, Bradshaw, Blount?

  11. Mike F says:

    Me – 63 pts with Michael Vick, Adrian Peterson, and Roddy White to play.

    Opponent – 75 pts with Desean Jackson, Tony Gonzalez, and Eagles D left.

    standard scoring, non-ppr, What are my chances? Just hit me with it flat out.

  12. surfmonger says:

    of course the biggest difference between Rash-Ass Jennings and those other guys…. those other guys weren’t being plugged every other post on your site!

    luckily my opponent had a flat day too. as long as Vick doesn’t have another super-human (Redskins) game, I should get my first fantasy super bowl win.

  13. Brad says:

    I’m up by 1.8 in the championship and I have Drew Brees left to play. Do I bench him to not risk an early fumble with injury (but also risking some crazy stat correction) or just stick with him???

  14. Doc

    Doc says:

    @Brad: Just stick with him

    @surfmonger: Pretty sure I mentioned him in one post.

    @Mike F: I think you’ll win.

    @Wilsonian: Romo, Dez, Moreno

    @keith: Ugh, I remember your question. Just amazing. I think you’ve got a shot!

    @Clyde Prompto: That’s all we can ask for. Pain ease.

    @ichirosan: Good luck! Hopefully Vick will pass to McCoy more.

    @papa: Nice

    @So So: Good luck man. Hope it works out.

    @Matt: Looks good to me.

    @Nick: Vick can give anyone a shot and I think you have one.

  15. Penguin says:

    Did you receive an email from FanDuel today, Doc?

  16. Chris says:

    Who has more BIG BIG game upside?

    Roddy or D-Jax?

    I need a 30 pt game to have a chance…+1 PPR and return TDs

  17. Doc

    Doc says:

    @Penguin: yep

    @Chris: That’s tough. Both have a lot of upside, but I guess in PPR you have to lean Roddy.

  18. Chris says:

    Starting Roddy…finger crossed for a miracle.

    10 rec, 120 yds, 2 tds!

  19. Chris says:

    So far, so good! If only that 25 yd catch wasn’t called back…

  20. Sparts says:

    uh, Ryan and Turner screwed me. Now I have to hope Vick and McCoy don’t combine for 45 points. Not great odds for me.

  21. barker says:

    i’m up by 11 with maclin to go but my opponent has vick to go let me down easy doc

  22. swingkungfu says:

    i just want to thank this blog for helping me win my second championship in two years. my first two years ever playing fantasy football, to boot. both years ending the regular season with the best record and a first round bye. most of it is skill i was born with, of course, but i’m a generous man and like to spread love wherever i go.

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