Riverboat Ron

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Sorry, drinking has already started because today is the day. Today is the day football starts! Yeah, I know that you know, but I wanted you to know that I know because I now know that you know. And that’s when my computer exploded. Regardless, not only does the debut of football bring us, you know, football, I also get to debut my beloved Live Game Day Threads. A place where we can hang out, enjoy some memes, discuss the games in front of us, and hopefully learn something. Like in this case, what a Siemian is and what it can do. To be honest, I could tell you better what it could do if one of those vowels were dropped. Like, any of them. But yes, if the GIF above or the just stated close-but-not-so-close sexual innuendo didn’t give it away (or even the title!), our first game of the year features two teams that have a long and storied rivalry dating back to… uh, well, one game. But, to be fair, that game was the Super Bowl (50, or as the Romans would say “L”), a game in which the Broncos defense carried Peyton Manning to another title so he could retire knowing he had one more ring than Tavaris Jackson. It’s important to have goals folks. And while I’m amazed that the NFC South was able to produce a team that actually knew what it was doing last year, an entire offseason has passed since these two franchises met. Will there be a different outcome? Well, unless they’ve figure out how to stop Von Miller, I doubt it… but to be fair, if I still have a Cam Newton combined with the return of Kelvin Benjamin led by the distinguished gentleman known as Riverboat Ro, alln going against a quarterback I hadn’t heard about until a week ago, I’d say your chances to win are preeeetty gooood. Sorry, I’m at the elongated vowels stage of alcohol poisoning…

Our Week 1 Rankings can be found here!

By the Numbers

ronriverariver

3: Super Bowl champions to open the following season with a different quarterback.

1: Time Super Bowl participants from a previous season have faced off in Week 1.

0.0: Passer rating of John Elway in his Sept. 4, 1983 debut at Pittsburgh.

30: Aqib Talib’s career interceptions, the most of any cornerback since he entered the NFL in 2008.

30: The amount of hay, in pounds, that John Elway eats at dinner time.

Drinking Game

peymil

Take one sip of beer if…

Al Michaels says “YUUUUUUUUUGE” in any context.

You see a shameless plug for The New Celebrity Apprentice or any one of those stupid Chicago shows. How much sh*t could possibly be going on in Chicago?

Someone mentions Peyton Manning in any context. (Take baby sips.)

Trevor Siemian checks down. (Also, take baby sips.)

You yell an expletive at C.J. Anderson.

You wonder why anybody still thinks Gary Kubiak can still head coach at the NFL level.

Take one shot of liquor if…

You see a Superman celebration (either team).

Cris Collinsworth fellates a lineman.

You see John Elway neighing in the booth.

Bob Costas gets smarmy. Bonus shot if he’s wearing a sweater vest even though we’re still in (sorta) in late summer.

 

Totally Legitmate Game Prediction

Peyton-Buick-Verano-ad

Panthers – 24 (How many donuts Kelvin Benjamin ate before game time.)

Broncos – 13 (The number of times this game I regret ranking C.J. Anderson so high.)

 

 

  1. Yankee my Wanky! says:
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    Jay,
    Are you taking questions? Hard to believe no one has any on Game Day. I have one for u.

    I have a trade in the works in our 11 Team Points League:

    I give B. Cooks, G. Bernard and D. Carr and I get AJ Green, Ryan Matthews and Flacco.

    I was planning on using Carr as my Flex (we allow QBs in the Flex). I would need to switch to one of Tannehil, Flacco or Alex Smith (assuming QBs are the highest scorers which they usually are). Any thoughts? I am ready to pull the trigger because I could also use Matthews at RB as I need to bench Charles.

    Thanks much Jay.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Yankee my Wanky!: All the time! Yeah, most q’s went to our podcast post which was the first of the day. Yeah, I think this deal is fine, though I hate losing Cooks here.

      • Yankee my Wanky! says:
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        @Jay: Even with getting Green in his stead? I also have Mike Evans, Amari Cooper, John Brown, Michael Floyd and Tayvon Austin if that helps you out. I know you were high on Cooks, as was I, but I am thinking the addition of Green and Matthews will help.

        Thanks again Jay.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Yankee my Wanky!: Oh yeah, getting Green is a slight upgrade, totally aware of that. But I’m a big fan of Cooks. I agree with your thinking which is why I think the trade is fine.

    • What's A Drexl? says:
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      @What’s A Drexl?: the script was tarantino’s till he sold it to help get production budget/influence for reservoir dogs.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @What’s A Drexl?: Yeah, I think the movie would have been completely different if not for Mann.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @What’s A Drexl?: Probably Gary Oldman’s best role. And Christian Slater’s last?

      • Alex Lee

        Alex Lee says:
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        @Jay: Not a Mr. Robot fan?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Alex Lee: Haven’t dabbled yet… but I heard it’s good. And Broken Arrow and Hard Rain were memorable… well, for me at least.

          • Alex Lee

            Alex Lee says:
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            @Jay: Definitely worth watching, I haven’t picked up Season 2 yet but Season 1 was very entertaining. Also, Broken Arrow was one of my favorite movies growing up. I’m afraid to re-watch it now as an adult since it is mostly likely a terrible movie and I’d like to preserve my positive childhood memories of it.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Alex Lee: I would, I think I watched it last year again while drunk, it’s a good terrible. All those early 90s action movies are to be honest.

      • What's A Drexl? says:
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        @Jay: the dirty cop from The Professional comes to mind too.

        don’t get the “mann” reference.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @What’s A Drexl?: Totally. And my bad, mixed up the Mann’s with the Scott’s.

          • What's A Drexl? says:
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            @Jay: i believe tarantino imagined this couple to be the same one from natural born killers, but in his version they’d be more violent than in scott’s true romance, but less so than oliver stone’s NBK, another script tarantino sold.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @What’s A Drexl?: I feel ya, but I think the move is great as is, I think I remember reading that Tarentino was actually quite pleased with out it turned out as well, but I could be misremembering.

  2. Fella says:
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    John Brown or C-Mike this week in PPR?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Fella: Leaning Brown here. It’s sorta close, but not a coinflip.

  3. What's A Drexl? says:
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    streater or hardy in PPR, i had dropped strong for k.wright, but he’s hurt. this is for worst WR spot in a a20 teamer redraft.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @What’s A Drexl?: Hmm, probably Streater. Kinda scraping the bottom of the barrel in 20-team leagues.

  4. Alex Lee

    Alex Lee says:
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    Word that should be added to the drinking game, if you’d like for all of your readers to wind up in a hospital tonight: poised.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Alex Lee: Yeah, this is a new development… I didn’t see it coming at all.

  5. Zach

    Zach says:
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    Who the hell is A. Janovich????? This is upsetting for the C.J. Anderson owner…. Oh well, at least McManus gets the XP

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zach: Yeah, you’re right, the XP makes it all better!

      • Zach

        Zach says:
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        @Jay: Oh who am I kidding…

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Zach: Haha.

  6. William Hung says:
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    After 1 quarter, my Greg Olsen has a donut :( – is it too early to vent?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @William Hung: It’s football, trust me… it’s never too early to vent.

      • William Hung says:
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        @Jay: For the love of PPR, can’t Cam just dump it off to Olsen??? I wouldn’t mind 10 Rec for 15 yards a TD

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @William Hung: There should be something soon. They just haven’t been in the redzone much…

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @William Hung: There’s a lil somethin somethin

          • William Hung says:
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            @Jay: you see that play to Olsen? ALL DAY baby – nice little dump off on the block release .5 plus the yards – ALL DAY!

              • William Hung says:
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                @Jay: can’t deal with Olsen only getting 4 receptions… Yahoo has him getting me 11 points – he needs to exceed that!

                • Jay

                  Jay says:
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                  @William Hung: There will be at least two more drives I think, still some time.

                  • William Hung says:
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                    @Jay: BAH! BAH! I say!

                    • Jay

                      Jay says:
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                      @William Hung: Okay, maybe one less drive if that’s an interception.

  7. Steve says:
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    Where’s Mike?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Steve: Tolbert? Probably eating.

  8. Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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    i forgot about the train robber jesse james. so where would he slot in that 16 team dynasty where i have ebron and l.green in RES slot in the fells/willson/tamme order?

    i actually like the fantrax layout, it is so 90’s, but i like it. also, it’s logic is so pure in the set up page, we noticed it wasn’t scoring our fractions of points (i had it set to have 1 pt per 10 yds rushing, but 29 yards wasn’t coming up 2.9, but 2); it turns out the system is very logic based and it’s my fault, as i told it 1 pt per 10 yards, so it simply kept to those margins. to fix it it should be .1 pts for every 1 rushing yard. that fixed it.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: Yeah, I love how intuitive it is, so I should probably relax about the UI. Okay, so, I think in this format, James is worth a shot, but would you have to drop Green here, is that how I’m reading it?

      • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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        @Jay: no no, we have INFINITE RES slots, if somebody misses time for ANY REASON he can be slotted (this includes byes, ain’t fantrax neat!)

        • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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          @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: but due to that, we cannot legally add anybody suspended/IR/PUP. what we’ll do is right before somebody is about to come off suspensions/IR/PUP an owner will announce his name in the message board, and then everybody would have 2 days to type in “i’m using my waiver X on player X”

          • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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            @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: we could of course draft players like that, i grabbed m.bryant.

          • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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            @Jay: pretty much ANY good idea you’ve ever thought, “why don’t fantasy leagues have these options” fantrax has it. some of them are ONLY in the premium leagues (cost $80, or $5 per person in a league of this size), but these mentioned are being done in a free one.

            also, their customer support is awesome, i’ve gotten players positions changed to correct ones in hockey in literally 25 minutes before.

            • Jay

              Jay says:
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              @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: Yeah, true that. One of my long-standing 20-team dynasties (baseball) is there and I’m very happy with everything. But sometimes I just stare at it and wonder why they thought this was a good idea.

              • Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo says:
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                @Jay: they probably didn’t hire anybody to recruit people from the UI at all. just a bunch of computer guy/fantasy nerds that probably have been making sites look the same since the 90’s. like if my genius computer programmer uncle was both still alive and had any interest in fantasy sports his site would look like this. they likely simply just don’t care about getting anybody in (based on how it looks) since they aren’t relying on ad money or the daily graft like yahoo/espn.

                • Jay

                  Jay says:
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                  @Joey Jo Jo Jr Shabadoo: Yeah, this is probably it. I’m and totally cool with that, kinda charming if it is

  9. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    yeah, that “benjamin’s getting reduced time” sure is hurting me. i got that trade of collins S NYG for benjamin through with about 7 minutes till game time locked.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: it was hard for me to gauge as well, so I just went conservative with my 40 ranking. I feel a bit silly now.

      • William Hung says:
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        @Jay: He’s looking like a WR1 right now – look at how he’s out muscling everyone for the ball and getting YAC

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @William Hung: He doesn’t even look 100%, which is a scary thought.

      • Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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        @Jay: i wasn’t shitting on your ranking, it’s a hard spot when the news clearly indicated he’d be “limited” plus facing DEN @ DEN. the only spot i own him in the decision is which 2 out of aiken/benjamin/d-jax to play, so we’re not talking really hard decisions (aiken is close in consensus FP, more behind him on yours) on my part.

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Aubrey Plaza’s Pillow: Oh I know for sure you weren’t, I am questioning my own ranking. I’m fine where I put him, but I regret being so safe with it. I had a thought about being aggressive…

  10. Jay

    Jay says:
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    Costas talking about Ballghazi? I NEVER!

  11. Jay

    Jay says:
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    Peyton will never go away will he?

    • Alex Lee

      Alex Lee says:
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      @Jay: Not a chance.

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Alex Lee: My eyes can’t roll enough.

  12. Tony C says:
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    So torn on who to drop for a darn kicker. I tried trading today but nothing happening. I need to drop Rob Kelley or Tyler Boyd for a kicker. My RBs are Latavious, Gordon, Ivory, Diondre Washington and Kelley. WRs are Beckham, Robinson, Baldwin, Shepard, Coleman and Boyd. Thanks!

    • Tony C says:
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      12 team keeper league, keep 2 players no restrictions

      • Jay

        Jay says:
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        @Tony C: I’m thinking Boyd… not sure where he fits yet.

      • Alex Lee

        Alex Lee says:
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        @Tony C: I’d hang onto Kelley. Your WR depth looks strong, and each of those RBs is a gamble in some fashion. Early season, get as many lottery tickets as possible at your weakest position and hope some of them pan out.

  13. Zach

    Zach says:
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    Three words.

    C.J. F*CKING ANDERSON!!!

    But McManus only has 2 points.

    Trying to decide which has a bigger impact on my life right now. I’m gonna go with McManus.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Zach: Can’t believe he vultured that touchdown from Janovich.

      • Zach

        Zach says:
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        @Jay: Hahahaha RIP Janovich.

        Like I said on the Podcast, if Kubiak doesn’t shy away from giving Anderson at least 16+ carries against one of the best front seven in the NFL, imagine what he’s gonna do against the weaker opponents.

        He’s got another one!!!!!

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Zach: Okung has had an amazing game too, just some great run-blocking there.

  14. William Hung says:
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    Let Olsen EAT!!!

      • William Hung says:
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        @Jay: Didn’t know razz limits replies or i’d be posting in the earlier one

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @William Hung: I think it does that because it runs out of space to indent.

          • William Hung says:
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            @Jay: CAR needs a big def stop here, and then Olsen all the way down for the GW FG

  15. William Hung says:
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    switch gears up a bit – this is why I was antsy about DT and Sanders with Semien at QB, and everyone should’ve been more bullish on CJ – I still would’ve probably passed on him with Cobb still on the board

  16. Least mode says:
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    Are we really picking up marshawn lynch???

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      Can we? I wouldn’t mind even if he was retired.

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