LenDale White lost his patented nickname “Smash” when his nickname compatriot, Chris “Dash” Johnson, struck out on his own and made up one of the worst knicknames of all time, “Every Coaches Dream.” Huh?  That’s not a nickname.  So after this devesatating loss LenDale went on a diet during the offseason and lost thirty pounds of LenWhale blubber.  He is going into a contract year and seems to be motivated.  He has been criticized for his fatness and now he’s being criticized for his sveldtness.  He’s the goalline back and some say he needs that extra gut to help move all those lineman guts in a beautiful sumo-esque ballet (imagine all this in slow motion). I can see both sides of the scale here.

Brett Favre – He just put a deposit on a condo in a suburb of Minneapolis.  There are some signs that Favre may come out of retirement and maybe even play for his former team’s division rival, the Minnesota Vikings.  I’d give it about a 3% chance.

Matt Stafford – Out of the ten thousand plus articles written on who will be the Lions starter come opening day it seems like Stafford is the front runner in nine thousand of those.  Amazingly the 0-16 Lions have a lot of fantasy potential with Calvin Johnson and Kevin Smith so this decision could easily impact their seasons.  Keep an eye on this.

Devone Bess – Dolphin’s beat writer Edgar Thompson says, “it wouldn’t shock me if Davone Bess develops into the most-dynamic WR on the roster this season.”  Amazingly Chad Pennington was a serviceable fantasy QB last year and Ronnie Brown is poised to break out this year.  I do remember Ted Ginn Jr. was supposed to be the second coming of Mark Duper last year so I am sceptical, but he may be worth a flier.

Bryant Johnson – Last year it looked like Johnson could be a sleeper pick and now lined up across from Calvin Johnson he looks poised for another possible sleeper year, but I think I’ll be napping while his name crosses my desk here at Razzbal Headquarters: Sleeper Division.

Percy Harvin – He fell ill during the rookie symposium and had to be sent home.  This reminds me of that day in Mrs. Connors 4th grade math when I sprinted out of class and made wretching sounds into a bag outside the door.  I was sent home as well.  My mom made me eat saltines and drink Sprite while I watched Thundercats. Oh, by the way, I like Percy Harvin, and I think he can do something this year in what could be a more balanced Vikings offense.

Carson Palmer – He admitted that his arm strength needed some work.  That isn’t what I wanted to hear.  First he rejects Ocho’s “Bosom Buddies’ remake and now this?  We have the Bengals offense returning to form this season with a decent fantasy boon from the passing game.  It is still very early, but another situation to be aware of.  And would Ocho play, Hildegarde or Buffy?

Marvin Harrison – Don’t go the Jerry Rice route.  And if I see you on Dancing With The Stars or some Hair Club for Men commercial, you’re dead to me!

  1. Paulie Allnuts

    Paulie Allnuts says:

    Actually, I liked LenWhale as he was; typical line was 8 carries for 17 yards and 2 TD’s. Worked for me.

    I wouldn’t touch Carson Palmer, Ocho Stinko, or anybody on the Bengwads. The team is a mess. They need to clean house, and start all over again. Get rid of the Divas, the non-producers, and the felons.

    I already picked up Favre in another league as a backup, just in case. He would have a lot of weapons on the Vikings. He was just going through the motions most of the time with the Jets; he would be motivated to stick it too the Pack.

    Pennington does the most with the least of any QB I ever remember. He couldn’t throw deep before his rotator cuff surgeries. Parcells produces winners everywhere he goes. May take a flyer on Bess.

    As for who will be the Lions QB – it is amazing to me that Calvin Johnson is a relevant fantasy player on that team. Just shows what a stud he is. IMO, he will be just as good as Fitz.

    Loved the comment about Marvelous Marv and Dancing with the Stars. Marvin has never been the Wideout Diva, and unfortunately, this has probably hurt his media appeal. Sad.

  2. IowaCubs

    IowaCubs says:

    I think I might actually play fantasy football this season. I sort of half-assed it last year and had no idea what I was doing, nor did I find it interesting, but if there’s a Razzball FFB virgins league, I’d sign up for it. Here’s what I propose… A free league where people who are normally fantasy baseball players play (Grey, etc). Anyone who has done one or fewer leagues could join. Thoughts?

  3. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Paulie Allnuts: i have dash,so i hope fatbutt stinks

  4. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Paulie Allnuts: Favre will be motivated to beat the Pack but Favre will not even be close to football shape this year, and Favre has lost all fire for the day to day things a QB needs to do on his team. He just wants to show up on Sunday. It’s not going to work out. He’s done imo.

    I’d rather have Carson than Favre.

    Calvin is a flat out stud and I’d rather have him than Fitz this year. Calvin’s my #2 WR after Moss this year.

    Everyone knows about the SB loser curse and I think it’s coming in a big way for Arizona this year.

  5. mrfootball says:

    someone went on the jenny craig diet this winter

    LenDale White – being a goal line back maybe he should have put on 30 pounds !

    maybe you should be drafting Kirstie the refrigerator Alley instead

  6. mrfootball says:

    yes mr football is related to mr baseball

  7. steamer says:

    @ Frank Rizzo: Good point about Arizona. I like Calvin too, but you can also through A. Johnson in the mix.

  8. Frank Rizzo says:

    @steamer: I’ve got AJ 4th after Fitz so he’s definitely in the mix. I love me some big, fast, game breaking WR’s.

  9. Doc

    Doc says:

    @IowaCubs: that sounds like a good idea. A long as it is free no one should try to scam the group who isn’t a fantasy virgin!

  10. Doc

    Doc says:

    @Frank Rizzo: I think Favre will fit much better into Minnesota than he did NY. I think he could easily get hurt, but if he is ok I think he makes those around him better. I don’t see him being a huge fantasy QB this year, but he could be ok as a backup.

    Calvin is a beast, but Stafford will hamper him some. I like AJ, Fitz and Moss before him. Where Fitz goes is a good question. He turned a lot of heads in the playoffs, but Boldin will take away some of his catches, but also keep him from being double teamed. I personally like AJ a ton this year and could see him going as the #1 WR without a problem.

  11. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Doc: brett will throw 3 td`s one day and 1 with 3 int`s the next,i agree he is a backup that will if healthy throw 20-25 td`s,if he can keep int`s to about 12,the vikings will be in the playoffs

  12. jbatkins says:

    Doc, whatchu talkin bout “3% chance”??? It’s a 90% chanc Fav-ra plays for the Viqueens this season.

    However, there’s probably only about a 3% chance he’ll be fantasy-relevant on that squad…

  13. Frank Rizzo says:

    @Doc: Favre is a mid-lower end #2 QB imo if he plays for Minny. He’s in the 17-20 range with Orton/Shaun Hill/Jason Campbell,/Trent Edwards.

    I’m kind of doubting Stafford actually starts for the Lions at the beginning of the season, but even if he does, I don’t see how it could hurt Calvin Johnson…..the 1st read on every pass play. Calvin’s line last year was 78 rec/1331 yds/17.1 ypc/12 tds with Kitna, Culpepper, Orlovsky, and Stanton QB’ing. I’m not sure how Stafford could be worse than that jumbled up mess, especially with the arm he has. I fully believe Calvin is QB-foolproof and will succeed no matter who’s chucking it up to him.

  14. Doc

    Doc says:

    @jbatkins: It was a joke.

  15. Doc

    Doc says:

    @Frank Rizzo: Yeah, Calvin is a stud no matter. I think I’d rather have Culpepper, but the difference will probably be negligible. It’s a great crop of WR’s this year. I think most of them will live up to their promise if they stay healthy (as well as their QB’s).

  16. AL KOHOLIC says:

    be interesting to see how boldin and marshall do this year and will buress be free from his court shizz in time to help anyone

  17. BigFatHippo says:

    You guys are all wrong about the #1 wideout, it is Fitz no matter how good everybody else is!

    And I’ll give you one good reason…………..The Dreadlock Factor!

    He who sports the coolest dreads is the beast of his position, see Paulamalou, Troy……Jackson, Action……….Sanders, Bob!*

    *(Seriously, why is this guys name Bob?)

  18. Doc

    Doc says:

    Larry Fitzgerald tweeted that he was at dinner and someone asked him if he was Steven Jackson and when he said no,the guy took off.

    Troy’s hair is flowing and undreaded. And it is magnificent!

  19. Doc

    Doc says:

    @AL KOHOLIC: I think Boldin will sign with AZ and have another good year.

  20. AL KOHOLIC says:

    @Doc: the thing with him and fitz,they get streaky because of the other but when they go for 10-200-3 its nice,boldin 10 td`s in 1st 10 weeks,1 the rest ,i know he got hurt but that killed me last year

  21. Corey says:

    When should we expet the RCL to get started?

  22. Corey says:

    Edit Above : Expect not expet

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