Matthew Stafford just wrote a story he’ll be able to tell his grand kids. Of course he won’t say it was against Cleveland, but still, he became the youngest quarterback to ever throw for 5 touchdowns in a game and he did it with a bad wing! I don’t see Stafford now becoming a fantasy god with the schedule he has, but he’s going to keep Megatron relevant and hopefully make Detroit a contender at some point.
Mark Sanchez: Another rookie quarterback took the field on Sunday, but instead of giving his fans hope for a wonderful future he gave each one of them metaphorical Dirty Sanchez.
Bernard Scott: He ended up with a decent game in Oakland, helped by a 61 yard run. I’d hold onto him as long as you can in case Benson reinjures himself. His schedule is too good to lose him because you got nervous that you needed a third tight end to round out your team.
Beanie Wells: He’s still about even with Hightower in touches, but he showed that he deserves the goal line carries. Hightower for some unknown reason got a goal line carry and was stuffed and then Beanie showed him how to do it. He actually showed him how to do it last week, but the Wiz must have been moving on down, moving on down the road when it happened.
Brandon Gibson: He only had 17 targets yesterday. Huh? He caught 5 of them for 61 yards. That’s not great, but opportunity is what fantasy players need before anything. He’s worth a pickup in deeper leagues.
Wes Welker: Dubya Dubya went crazy while Revis blanketed Moss all game. Fifteen receptions for 192 yards doubles up what Heyward-Bey has for the whole year! I know, the Heyward-Bey comparisons are too easy, but good lord does Al Davis suck at his job.
Kurt Warner: Of course he gets hurt while on pace for about 400 yards and 6 TD’s, but at least he didn’t pull a Ladell Betts on you. Hopefully the Cardinals were just being cautious with Grandpa Warner and he’ll be back in there against the Titans next week. His stretch run is too friggin good for us fake footballers!
Matt Leinart: I can’t say for sure what Leinart would do with a week of practice as the main man, but coming in for Warner he looked like a crappy version of Ryan Leaf.
Ladell Betts: All those start/sit questions I answered with “Ladell Betts,” you should ignore them when you go back in time to set your lineups. He quickly tore his MCL in the game and left with nary a fantasy point. Well, he had help in tearing it, but tomato tomato (make sure you pronounce those differently). He should be done for the season setting up the great Rock Cartwright P.I. for the starting gig as long as Portis is out and he’s already been ruled out for next week.
Terrell Owens: Well, I didn’t see that coming. Can he now become fantasy relevant again? Does his track record this year lead you to have any faith in him? Me either. I can see feeling better about using him in that 3rd receiver spot, but don’t go nuts.
Marshawn Lynch: He says he will be back next week, but will we really notice? He has just been so unbelievably bluh that I am taking his Beast nickname and giving it to Steven Jackson until Lynch gets out of Least Mode.
Steven Jackson: The guy continues to be the best player on every surface he steps.
Ben Roethlisberger: The Steelers losing to the Chiefs is more amazing than Cincinnati losing to the Raiders, but that’s real football. Big Ben had a huge fantasy game and has been great in fantasy this year, but he got concussed and it didn’t look too good. Charlie Batch isn’t going to help Ward, Holmes, Wallace and Mendenhall lead your fantasy team.
Greg Jennings: Has he turned it around? Maybe. Well, probably. Perhaps. Rodgers had more time to throw against the 49ers than he has for much of the season so if that keeps up Jennings will benefit.
Calvin Johnson: Here’s what you were paying for when you drafted him in the 2nd round! 7 catches, 161 yards and a TD should be his average! He was a little gimpy during the game, but managed to still do what he can do. Al Harris being done for the season should help him get a big helping of TD on TD.
Jermichael Finley: He was the most targeted Packer and the most targeted mashed up first name player on Sunday. If he’s on your waiver wire and you own some schmohawk like Jason Witten or Matt Spaeth, pick him up.
Brady Quinn: Three touchdowns in the first quarter is an amazing feat for a team that averages around 1.8 points per game. He finally threw the ball farther than 5 yards and it paid off. It will be interesting to see if he tries it against an average defense. I don’t have a ton of faith that he’ll be able to do much, but he could help somebody like Massoquoi become fantasy relevant.
Santana Moss: He’s consistently inconsistent. Bench him unless he’s playing a ten man team.
Mike Bell: I think I mentioned how much I want Sean Payton to step in a turkey deep fryer, didn’t I? Bell is getting the goal line carries and killing Pierre Thomas’ fantasy value. Will it stay like this? I couldn’t say. Seriously.
Jamaal Charles: The Razzball favorite did his thing even against the best rushing defense in the league. He is dynamic. Yes, Todd, that’s someone who can create in space, can catch the ball, return kicks, run off the edge, and so on and so forth. Do you think maybe you should have played him more, earlier in the season? Do you think watching Larry Johnson average under 3 yards a carry should have made you want to gouge your eyes out? It did me, Todd. It did me.
Fred Jackson: Hard to tell if Lynch will be 100 percent, but I think Fred Jackson is showing that he is more explosive and actually a better start right now. If he’s on the wire it is worth grabbing him.
Robert Meachem: He has 3 receptions in the last 2 games and 3 touchdowns. Did he score 2 on one catch? Nah, one a piece, like normal. Can you feel safe playing Meachem? Not at all! But he certainly is a red zone target when Colston is being shadowed by 10 people.
Monday Night Football: Talk about a fantasy showcase! Chris Johnson, Matt Schaub, Andre Johnson and some other schmos make up a great game to decide a lot of fantasy matchups this week. I know I have a lot riding on tonight’s game. Good luck everyone!