Last week I conducted an experiment with The Stats Machine in an attempt to project fantasy points. While I haven’t had a chance to do a thorough examination of the results, at first glance it didn’t appear to be a total failure. Once I dive deeper, I will take what I learn, tweak the machine and come back to you with round two. This week, however, we are back to our regularly scheduled programming as we find out which players aroused TSM last week. Strong fantasy football performances are a natural aphrodisiac in the world of The Stats Machine.


Carson Palmer (Score: 90.96) – At this point Palmer is a top five fantasy quarterback, only a few points behind the almighty Aaron Rodgers. Aren’t you glad you didn’t spend an early round pick on Rodgers when you could have drafted Palmer with the 145th pick. Last week he threw for 363 yards and 3 touchdowns against a stingy Seahawks defense. Coming into this game Seattle was the toughest defense against opposing quarterbacks. I bet you will find Palmer on a lot of first place teams right now. The road to Super Bowl 50 goes through Nevada’s state capital?

Honorable Mention: Jay Cutler (81.75)

Last year this series included the players that TSM considered disgraceful. Usually these were players that were expected to do well, and instead shit the bed. I am bringing that feature out of retirement for one last gig. The honors go to none other than Peyton Manning. Considering he was a third round pick in 12-team leagues, he has perhaps been the biggest letdown in fantasy football history. On the season he has 9 touchdowns and 17 interceptions and is averaging under 12 fantasy points per game. I could continue bashing “Forehead”, but I think I can leave it at that.

Running Back (PPR)

Charcandrick West (Score: 46.37) – In the last three weeks West has put up solid RB1 numbers, scoring at least one touchdown in each game. This past Sunday he yielded 161 all purpose yards and two touchdowns. Many expected the Denver defense to silence Charcandrick, but he had other ideas. As crazy as it sounds, it really doesn’t seem like the Chiefs running game has lost a step since losing Charles. West gets the porous San Diego defense this week. Will we be seeing him back here in next week’s post?

Jeremy Langford (Score: 45.56) – Two weeks ago Langford had a great showing in his debut as a starter. But that effort came against the weak Chargers defense. I pointed out that his matchup with St. Louis would provide us with a much clearer picture of his abilities. What did we get? Another RB1 performance. On 20 carries he rushed for 73 yards and a touchdown. He also caught 7 passes for another 107 yards and a touchdown. It doesn’t get much better than that for fantasy owners. I will say this, however, one of Langford’s receptions was an 83-yard touchdown catch. While “big plays” are great, they can skew a player’s final stat line. Quite often a short screen pass/dump off to the running back that ends up being an 80 yard score is the result of good blocking and a fortunate positioning of the players ahead. Looking at that play, I think even I might have been able to take it to the hole. Even if you take that play away, he still had a great day. It’s going to be interesting when Forte gets back out there.

Running Back

Charcandrick West (Score: 43.18) – See above.

Honorable Mention: Jeremy Langford (36.75)

Wide Receiver (PPR)

Michael Floyd (Score: 53.56) – Floyd now has back to back 100+ yard games, and he has 5 touchdowns in his last four games. I like Floyd, but I just never know which Cardinals receiver is going to be one to have the big week that week. With Fitzgerald, Brown and Floyd, it’s no wonder Palmer is a top fantasy QB. Coming into last week, the Seahawks were allowing just 99 yards per game to opposing receivers. Floyd had 113 yards by himself and 2 touchdowns. Pop in your Wizard of Oz DVD, turn off the sound and kick up the volume on Dark Side of the Moon…

Antonio Brown (Score: 48.18) – In the last two weeks Brown has 27 receptions on 37 targets for 423 yards and 2 touchdowns. Many receivers don’t put up those numbers over a whole season. Boy did he miss Big Ben. When Roethlisberger is behind center, The Stats Machine believes that Brown is the top receiver in PPR formats. You’re a good man Antonio Brown! Brown sugar how come you taste so good, baby?

Honorable Mention: Larry Fitzgerald (46.89), Doug Baldwin (43.55) and Brandin Cooks (42.23)

Wide Receiver

Michael Floyd (Score: 34.92) – See above.

Honorable Mention: Brandin Cooks (29.20), Antonio Brown (28.78) and Doug Baldwin (25.31)

Tight End (PPR)

Zach Miller (Score: 34.60) – I talked about Miller on Wednesday. Here’s what I said. “It was Miller time in Chicago last week. For a guy practically unowned across all leagues, he put up a heck of fantasy game last week. Miller caught all five of his targets for 107 yards and 2 touchdowns. But it was his 87-yard score that made his stat line. Take that away and his numbers are pedestrian. And considering his spot in the depth chart behind a more talented Martellus Bennett, I think you can figure out what my advice is for Miller going forward.” Here’s what Dr. Seuss said about the Bears tight end, Michael Jackson, Zoolander 2 and a Saints running back. “While dancing to Thiller, Zach Miller Skype’d C.J. Spiller to tell him about a movie sequel starring Ben Stiller.”

Honorable Mention: Rob Gronkowski (27), Gary Barnidge (26.39) and Greg Olsen (26.01)

Tight End

Zach Miller (Score: 31.12) – See above

  1. Samsonpete says:

    I need a TE pick up with Barnidge on bye this week. Gates (still waiting for the injury report to come out to see if he practiced today) Witten or Fleener?

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Samsonpete: If Gates plays I’d go with Gates and then Witten…

    • Crapshoot Kershaw says:

      @Samsonpete: they hold gates out of practices all the time, he’s playing this time.

  2. Scooter G says:

    Sent out gronk and Forte for peterson and Olson trade and he countered with gronk, Forte, and Broncos D for peterson, Olson, and cardinals D.

    Which side do you prefer ?

    My team. Romo Ryan Forte, DMC, Cooper, a Robinson, gronk, den D, mccmanus.

    Bench. Fitzpatrick, cutler, Mariota, Hyde, k williams, CJA, a blue, M Gordon, J Landry, s Diggs

    Thanks a bunch !

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Scooter G: I think I’d hold on Gronk…

  3. GMoney says:

    Hard to find thoughtful or insightful ROS rankings… Jon Stew or Le Blount

    • Damien says:

      he has weekly & ros season ranks updated several times a week.
      he left espn & now on his own.

      I also have both & I’m leaning towards JS.

    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @GMoney: Stewart by a little bit…

  4. Pickleball says:

    Needed to pickup a kicker since josh brown (nyg) kicker is on bye.. I hate holding a roster spot for a kicker but he’s been automatic and is #2 kicker right now..

    That said would you drop him for Jonathan grimes.. I’m hearing reports he’s going to be the starting runningback (if not this week then next). He probably wouldn’t be a starter for me barring injury but rb depth is always a hard thing to come by


    • malamoney

      malamoney says:

      @Pickleball: I’d never carry two kickers…

      • malamoney

        malamoney says:

        @malamoney: Except for maybe Gostowski…

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