It seems like it’s been forever since Thursday’s game. Who played again? Today is the day us fake footballers have been waiting for. Do you care who wins? Maybe in some of the games, but mostly you are hoping your players destroy and humiliate their opponents leaving them shattered and broken men. Then, in turn, you can send some rather baudy and pointed emails, texts, and tweets to your league mates questioning the validity of their entire world view.
It’s time to get so drunk that you don’t care that your #1 RB just had his leg Theismanned into oblivion.
Click on each game to get a weather report. This time of the year there shouldn’t be too much inclement weather to deal with, but if it’s pouring rain and blowing 50 mph gusts you may want to play your backup QB.
Dallas Cowboys @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Will Romo and Williams make sweet, sweet music together or will Tony actually miss T.O.? I believe Romo will flourish without The Ego barking in his ear.
Denver Broncos @ Cincinnati Bengals: If Carson Palmer can’t throw against the oldest secondary in the world, who can he throw on?
Detroit Lions @ New Orleans Saints: The fantasy equivalent to Christmas, your birthday and your first time all wrapped into one. Get the Saints water boy in your lineup!
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts: And thus begins the second coming of Peyton Manning. Today shall be known as All Peyton’s Day! And no, Patton Oswalt doesn’t count.
Kansas City Chiefs @ Baltimore Ravens: People will watch this game for the same reason they watch NASCAR.
Miami Dolphins @ Atlanta Falcons: Will my man Ronnie deliver? See what Brown can do for you!
Minnesota Vikings @ Cleveland Browns: Purple Jesus and Madden’s Jesus team up to walk on Lake Erie.
New York Jets @ Houston Texans: The fantasy reign of the Texan Gang of Four will begin. Get Schaub, AJ, Slaton and Daniels into your lineup or suffer.
Philadelphia Eagles @ Carolina Panthers: The Panthers run D will be poor, like Maddoff’s clients poor. McCoy and that old guy will run.
San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals: The Power Chair loves playing the 49ers. Look for Fitz to go off unless Madden gets to him first.
St. Louis Rams @ Seattle Seahawks: Am I sitting at the edge of my seat gripping the arm rests shaking and sweating violently in anticipation to see the Seahawks take on the Rams? No, that’s usually just me on a normal Sunday Morning Coming Down, but I am looking forward to seeing if Hasselbeck’s back is back? It seems that as long as he doesn’t sneeze or get planted like a Douglas Fir by a D-lineman, he should do well against the Rams.
Washington Redskins @ New York Giants: Will Eli continue to prove he needed Burress to do the heavy lifting for him? Probably.
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers: The old rivalry has a new face and an actual QB battle, but I think the Packers have a better team.
Check out what games will be on in your non-NFL Sunday Ticketed area: NFL TV Distribution Maps. Oh, and be careful out there!