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In what is an interesting match-up, if only because we rarely get to see it (I’VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF IT), the Broncos travel to Detroit to find out if last week’s fourth quarter “Manning being just being Manning” is actually repeatable. Much has been said of Denver’s lack of any rushing attack, mainly because of C.J. Anderson’s toe. Which seems ridiculous. I mean, you want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. I can get you a toe by three o’clock this afternoon… There are some reports that Ronnie Hillman could start splitting carries, but I’m assuming the Broncos prefer positive rushing yardage, so I’m still in the Anderson camp, health and s’mores permitting. The Lions have started 0-2, I think mainly because Matt Stafford forgot that he has a thing called Calvin Johnson on his team. A stifling (I’m running out of adjectives) Broncos defense will continue to make that relationship tense (I’m running out of metaphors), but both offenses are capable of putting up yards. I for one hope this is the most amazing game in the history of games, only because with Drew Brees looking doubtful in Week 4, we’ll have a Sunday Night Football game that features Luke McCown and Brandon Weeden coming up. Jesus.

 

By the Numbers

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65Broncos rushing yards per game this year.

10 – The number of Anderson’s carries that have gone for no gain or negative yards… out of 24.

7 – The number of Hillman’s carries that have gone for no gain or negative yards… out of 21.

147 – Rushing yards allowed per game by the Lions, 28th in the league.

1 – Rushing yards allowed per game by the Lions after this game.

 

Drinking Game

I feel like this is what John Elway looks like when the Broncos score a touch down. Or avoid using the fax machine.

Take one sip of beer if…

Matthew Stafford throws it to someone not named Johnson.

Demaryius Thomas probably should have gotten the ball instead of whoever did.

Brett Favre is mentioned in any context.

Golden Tate does something d*ckish.

Al Michaels says “YUUUUUUUUUUUUGE” in any context.

You see Manningface. (Take baby sips.)

Take one shot of liquor if…

You see John Elway neighing in the booth.

You wonder why Gary Kubiak was able to return to head coaching in the NFL.

Megatron jumps 10 feet in the air for a causal catch.

Fog starts to come out of Cris Collinsworth’s mouth.

 

Totally Legitimate Game Prediction

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Broncos – 1 (Fax Machine.)

Lions – 3 (Matthew Stafford Interceptions.)

 

 

  1. Killer Joe says:
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    Nice work man. How much time did you spend on that Jim Caldwell gif? That is intense!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      I can only take credit for finding that one. It’s just so much amazing…

  2. Chicken Dinner says:
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    My team: PPR

    Dalton/Bradford

    Hill/Woodhead/Vereen/Spiller/Taliafaro

    Julio/A Cooper/Watkins/Coleman/Beasley
    ———————————————-
    Trade A) Dalton/Woodhead for Lacy
    Trade B) Watkins/Vereen for Ivory/T Williams

    Do you like either?….Both?……….neither?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Chicken Dinner: Yes on the first. I’d hold on the second one.

  3. WillisReid says:
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    Luckiest week I’ve ever had. RB’S are Lacy Murray and Ellington. The winner of the Matt Jones Waiver wire sweepstakes dropped Blount. I ended up starting Karlos Williams and Blount.

    Will Tallifero replace Forsett at some point this year?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @WillisReid: Nice! He might start getting some time if the situation becomes a complete dumpster fire.

  4. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Jay! Heath Miller, Clay or Gilmore for ros? Also, should I drop David Johnson for either Dunbar or Rawls? Thanks and enjoy the rest of your weekend!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jerry: Miller… but it’s close. I’d hold there.

  5. Mike says:
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    Can u imagine if Tom Brady had Calvin Johnson, golden Tate, and Abdullah??
    Coach is terrible

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Mike: I think the problem also lies with Matthew Stafford as well.

  6. Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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    half PPR 2 QB dynasty with 3 RB, 2 WR, 2 flexes than can be TE’s
    rodgers/peyton/rodfather/mallett (ways back when i freaked out about manning i got mallett for only 1 buck more than i was about to spend on oswelier, but it’s making my RB weak, but since i expect to lose peyton next year forever i figured having 3 other starters is smarter long term)
    forte/ivory/woodhead/j.bell/k.davis
    edelman/k.allen/d-jax/m.floyd (ARI)/cruz
    julius thomas/ertz
    IR jordy

    1. Waivers every two days. drop J.Bell for Mason and spend around what? (starks went for 29, but that was to lacy owner, i got mallett for $10 and have 89 left) Or just hold.

    2. bid how much to drop m.floyd for r.matthews (MIA)? This one is gonna be expensive, i might be better off just waiting for M.Floyd to come back to what he was not that long ago.

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Montezuma’s Revenge… right now: Eh, hold for now. I think you’re depth is okay right now, Ivory should be back in Week 4.

      I’d put in a soft bid of 10-15 to see what happens, but I think Floyd is the same thing there. Poor Landry owners though…

      • Montezuma's Revenge... right now says:
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        @Jay: yeah i have him in my bigger money league. not the best. But it’s return yardage same as scrimmage, so if that allows him to go back to kick return duties it could actually be better. Like Wheaton, only in Wheaton’s case he’s appearing to have no value without the returns he no longer does. Ugliest thing of the week is what happens to brown’s owners when he falls down to no better than WR 10.

  7. Andy says:
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    That gif…too dank :’)

    Is there any hope for cj anderson? He looked so spry to start tonight….and then got rocked on that hit. Do you think its an OL problem that can get improve or is it cj? I thought maybe defenses were keying in on the run to start the season bc they thought Peyton arm was cooked, but cj was so good last year even as Peyton was fading.

  8. Clint says:
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    I was really pulling for the Lions but as is customary with that team, Stafford literally handed it away trying to drive for the leading score down 14-12.

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