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I would normally blame NBC for not flexing out of a football game no one really wants to watch outside of their home markets, but this time, I’ll go ahead and fault the true culprits of what will probably be a heinous three hours of drunk-time. And that’s the city of New York. Today marks the first day that NBC could have flexed, and they chose not to because the game will be host to the largest local market in America. Instead, the Bengals and Seahawks game probably should have been the Sunday Night Football game, but I’m not sure anybody lives in Ohio, so I guess it’s a sound business decision. So we get another 49ers prime-time game, which actually might be a good thing, seeing as how their only win (and only game they didn’t give up 70 touchdowns) was the Monday Night Football opener. They also get a Giants team, which I’m sure is still holding plenty of NFC East derp in their reserves, and for this game to be anything close to entertaining, I believe it’s time to release said derp for the masses. Please?

 

By the Numbers

kaepkiss

4 – The next four games on the Giants schedule features opponants who have gone 4-12 combined, including the 49ers.

8Giants have not trailed for the last eight quarters.

181.8 – Average passing yards per game for Colin Kaepernick, worst in the league.

181.8 – Tom Coughlin’s resting blood pressure.

 

Drinking Game

Eli Manning Stoner Face

Take one sip of beer if…

The Giants get into the redzone and end up settling for a field goal.

Cris Collinsworth refers to any player as “Just an impressive young man”.

Kaepernicking happens.

Fog starts to come out of Cris Collinsworth’s mouth.

You see any shameless NBC plug.

Al Michaels says “YUUUUUUUUUUUUGE” in any context.

Take one shot of liquor if…

Coughlin is chewing gum, cocks his sideways, and puts his hands on his hips.

Eliface happens.

Bob Costas pisses you off.

 

Totally Legitimate Game Prediction

49erf_1.0

49ers – 0 (Do they even know how?)

Giants – 0 (They know how, they just don’t want to.)

 

 

  1. Scooter G says:
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    In a standard 2 qb league how do you rank Stafford, mccown, and cutler Ros?

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Scooter G: Cutler, Stafford, McCown.

      • Scott says:
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        @Jay: I guess now that’s Cutler, Orvlovsky, McCown?

        • Jay

          Jay says:
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          @Scott: I’d say they are interchangeable at this point, haha, sure.

        • Flowers misses his old glasses... he's ok tho says:
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          @Scott: i’d go with McCown WAY over anybody connected to DET. Look at that crazy volume.

  2. WillisReid says:
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    Up 10 with Giants D and Gates left they have Randle and Keenan Allen. Gonna be close.

  3. Flowers misses his old glasses... he's ok tho says:
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    PPR with .1 pt per return yards. Start only 2 WR.
    Luck/Bortles (i might just keep playing Bortles till Luck gets healthy, i don’t think he was to start the year either, as he hasn’t looked like Luck yet, we know Bortles has volume, and this league has 6 pt bonus for 300 yards, 6 pt passing TD’s)
    RB – Forte/Duke Johnson/Ellington/Spiller/Vereen. Man Spiller needs to go back to returns (like he was listed in preseason to do, it’s why i drafted him pretty high) to get some value. I dropped Jennings this week for Aiken, needing a WR for this week only. Today waivered T.Will over Aiken thinking he’d have more ROS value.
    WR – Edelman/Landry/Ginn/Wallace/T.Will
    TE Gates
    K and DEF DEN

    If Vereen doesn’t get used for a 3rd week in a row, better off going with any of (and order): Sims/Jennings/K.Davis/Rid Dick/Sankey

    I wish i kept Hurns over Ginn now. It’s looking like T.Will will be my drop for a DEF when DEN has a bye. Or Ginn if his targets dry up.

  4. I got $100 for groceries, $1400 for liquor, and $6,000 for you to bail a couple of shit puppets out of jail says:
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    standard shallow league. what’s best order of dropping charles (waivers not till 14th so i’ll know how bad by then)

    west/stewart/morris/woodhead/crowell/k.davis/sims/m.jones

  5. Jerry says:
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    Hey, Jay! Andre Johnson, Marvin Jones, Tavon Austin, or TyMontgomery ros? Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Jerry: Tough one. Austin slightly right now for me. I’d like to see a few more games, but Johnson could have some value left to give as well.

  6. Aaron says:
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    Would you trade Chris Johnson for Victor Cruz?

    I have Julio Jones, Hopkins and Vincent Jackson but need someone to cover for bye weeks.
    My rbs are : gore, Ellington, Blount, hillman and Chris Johnson. Only need 2.

    Thanks!

    • Jay

      Jay says:
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      @Aaron: Not sure what to think of Cruz at this point. Probably holding.

  7. Johnny Boy says:
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    Rishard Matthews and Mike Wallace for Golden Tate and Hurns?

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