Not long ago I threw a bunch of pieces of scrap paper with random letters scribbled on them into my fedora. I then randomly drew fifty letters from the titfer. Next I conducted several ritual sacrifices to the fantasy gods, assembled those fifty illegible letters into twenty-five pairs and selected the first football player who came to mind with matching initials to compile my Top 25 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. And that’s the story of how Kerryon Johnson landed at #18 overall, as the readers pointed and mocked.  Of course, I’m kidding about this process. I don’t own a fedora, it used a baseball cap.

A week later I repeated the same exercise to compose my Top 50 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football which landed Juju Smith-Schuster at #50 overall. And outrage ensued. The angry mob called for Donkey blood. So I quickly handed over my Top 75 and Top 100 Dynasty Rankings for 2020 Fantasy Football. But those only fueled the riots. “Put the rankings into one easy to view list,” they said. “We don’t need your stupid explanations and jokes,” they said. “You’re the ugliest Donkey we’ve ever seen,” they said.

So I withdrew into solitude for a couple weeks, rosterbating and meditating and then rosterbating more until finally I had another 100 arbitrary player names collated into one easy to read list for the bloodthirsty mob’s viewing pleasures. Anyway, here’s my updated top 200 dynasty rankings for 2020 PPR fantasy football leagues:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Two weeks ago I amused the people with my top 25 for 2020 dynasty football where I wrote about my crooked hard-on for Kerryon Johnson from my cushy American barn. Last week I captivated the audience with my top 50 for 2020 dynasty football where I insulted JuJu Smith-Schuster while vacationing in Madrid. This week I’ll regale the world with my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football, written while stranded in Paris on Jesus’s Birthday. Long story short: the Europeans are on strike. Nobody wants to work, making my holiday travels a challenge. But there’s worse places to get stuck than Paris where Donkey has made the most of it by visiting world renowned Peyronie’s Disease specialists, eating hay crêpes and discovering new football talent; I’ve heard this Cristiano Ronaldo hombre will be a great kicker. Anyway, here’s my top 75 for 2020 dynasty football:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have finally made it to Week 14, which, for most (sane) people, means that we have finally made it to the start of the fantasy playoffs. Thankfully, there aren’t a whole lot of players on the injury report this week, as most are just on the mend, recovering from certain breaks, fractures, pulls, sprains or tweaks suffered a few weeks ago.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s week 10 of the fantasy football season. After you get done reading this and ask your questions, get all of your housework done because we have 10 hours of great football ahead of us. Well, hopefully. During the early games, the Bears and the Lions will face off in a last ditch effort to keep their seasons alive. The Browns will host Buffalo and try to save face. There are reports that there could be some high winds in that one so keep that in mind when you are setting your DFS and season-long lineups. Patrick Mahomes is back, folks! Patrick Mahomes will make his return against the Tennessee Titans. Our shoot out this week comes in Tampa Bay and a matchup between Jameis Winston and Kyler Murray. There should plenty of fantasy points to go around in that one. 

In the late afternoon, the Panthers face off in Lambeau with Kyle Allen getting another chance to keep the Panthers in the playoff race. The Rams will try and keep themselves in the division race against the surging Pittsburgh Steelers. On Sunday night, Kirk Cousins will try and turn around his historic primetime stench with the Vikings traveling to Dallas to take on the Cowboys. Let’s get to the injuries followed by updated rankings.

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Opening the week as the highest over/under of the season at 55.5, HOU @ KC now sits as the tied-for-2nd highest point total in 2019 at 55. A clash between offenses that rank #4 (KC) and #9 in points per game. Poorly buried by the NFL in the early slate of games, everyone get their popcorn ready early this Sunday. Both teams rank in the top 10 in total offensive plays ran this season, #3 KC and #8 HOU, and find their way onto this weeks shootout game preview.

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Training camp is upon us and the NFL beat writers are heating up the twitter sphere with news. This article is an attempt to cut through the noise and figure out what if anything is most important. One vital component that needs to be pointed out is that we should never be relying on beat reporters, or on-lookers to evaluate the actual talent, or what is happening during practice. Writers do just that for a living, write. A few examples of opinions/misconceptions coming into play that were grossly misguided I’ve already seen in week 1:

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The draft accuracy rankings for Fantasy Pros came out on Sunday morning and for my first year competing in the contest, I think that I did alright. I finished 57th out of 154 competitors and I would have done a lot better if it weren’t for those meddling running backs! Rex Burkhead, David Johnson, and Peyton Barber wrecked my running back chances to the tune of a finish of 126th at that position. On positive notes: I finished 8th in quarterback accuracy, 35th in wide receiver accuracy, and 12th in tight end accuracy. Also if you need kicker advice holler at your boy, I finished 2nd in kickers. I’m guessing that kickers don’t figure heavily into the algorithm. In year two, my goal is a top 10 finish.

Please, blog, may I have some more?