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As I mentioned last week, it won’t be until after week 4 that The Stats Machine (TSM) begins including opposing defenses into its algorithm. It needs about four weeks of defensive statistics before they are really useful. So in the meantime, just bare with us as we still believe our data science is attention worthy. However, as a commenter pointed out last week, without defensive adjustments the results kinda feel like something we could get from Captain Obvious. I see his point, at least to some extent, and have decided to add a section listing the top ten players, according to TSM, at each position.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

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I mean, you do have the Arizona Cardinals with the best record in the NFL. The Miami Dolphins suddenly look like they can be competent for certain stretches of time. One of those times including a game against my Chargers. Both the Colts and Eagles (depending on Nick Foles’ status) seem competent enough to being contenders. Even the Steelers have figured a few things out behind Ben Roethlisberger treating the last two games like he met them in a dive bar bathroom. But I think it’s fair to say that the Broncos and Patriots, fulfilling a narrative wet dream on a continual basis, had to have been considered the two best teams. At least until the Patriots destroyed the Broncos yesterday afternoon. While I’m a constant palm-facer when it comes to Peyton Manning’s “cold-weather” narrative, it seems that his “can’t beat the Patriots” narrative may have something to it. Also, there are way too many narratives. Please no more narratives. That being said, despite having their own problems early in the season, the Patriots have seemingly maintained their status as one of the top teams in the NFL, if not the top team. Now that you’ve figured that part out, for the love of god, can you give the ball to Shane Vereen more? Is that too much to ask?

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I’m not one to talk the trash or put someone in a verbal vice-grip, but when it comes down to knocking off my fellow RCL writers I feel the urge to gloat. Just a little. Despite my Red Sox World Series hangover of 2004 proportions, your humble-but-nonetheless-bloviating Guru took down JB’s undefeated team that is cleverly named “JB Gilpin” last week and he spent most of Sunday crying to me on the phone about “bye weeks” and how his cat doesn’t “understand” him. Sorry JB, I don’t know how to help you with Mittens, but bad things happen when you assemble your roster after 14 wine coolers. The one and only “Tis Tehol” also fell to your turban clad friend last week. Of course Tehol was too busy checking the progress of his receding hairline to set his roster again, but I’ll take the win. Tehol, are you so mesmerized by your Drakkar drenched banana hammock that you can’t find a tight end to start? However, my first place 6-2 “Scotch Fueled Gurus” lost to an unknown 12-year-old “expert” somewhere in Pennsylvania Amish country whose trash smackin’ prose made Richie Incognito look like Maya Angelou. The kid told me my turban smells like my grandma’s…well, you know, then he beat me 20 points. I feel so bullied. *one lonely tear drops* However, the jammer crammers have been coming through for us this year. Last weeks jams of Terrelle Pryor and Tim Wright were solid plug ‘n’ plays. Let’s forget I suggested jamming on the New Orleans defense, okay? Overall, we have hit on about 70% of our jammer/crammers in any given week. I’m not ready to surrender my turban just yet, my Razzballer’s. And I certainly won’t hand it over to a prepubescent, Fall Out Boy loving kid that sleeps in his Ben Roethlisberger footie pajamas while his mommy rubs his heiny and tells him how special it is. By the way, kid, my dad can beat up your dad. It’s time to jam it or cram it.

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The start of the fantasy season is finally here! By now, you have likely completed your draft and you’re just counting the seconds until Thursday’s game between the Ravens and Broncos (exactly 161,722 at the time this sentence is being written). However, before the games begin, you have a few decisions to make.

With the exception of Rob Gronkowski, you’re probably thinking about playing the people you drafted in the first 5-6 rounds, and that’s smart. Why would you spend an early pick on someone you don’t feel comfortable playing every week, regardless of the matchup? Still, there are some great defenses out there and if you’re looking for a solid flex play, you probably have a few options, so here’s a little something to make that decision easier.

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Well there were rumors of it and inklings and rumors of said inklings but it finally happened. On Wednesday, Reggie Bush signed with the Detroit Lions on a 4 year deal which sets in motion some fantasy commotion of major implications. Firstly, getting the former Kim Kardashian ass caddy is going to make waves in Detroit which is funny because he just moved from South Beach to do it. At least I think that’s funny. *Checking* no, it’s decidedly not but what is funny is Bush’s new teammate Mikel LeShoure eating a bag of weed before the officers could find his stash. Maybe they should trade him to Denver or Seattle now…well anywho, I’m not here to talk about Mikel. At least not yet. In getting Reggie, the Lions grabbed a great Jahvid Best replacement. You know, the running back who was probably the starter had concussions not taken his career from him. Why do we like this and by this I mean the Bush signing and not the concussion? Because in 22 games as a Lion, Best caught 85 passes which is a 62 catch pace for a 16 game season. When you consider Detroit has attempted the most passes of any team the last two years, the passing volume for great things is going to be there for Bush to be fairly Sprolesy. Overall, he probably will cede some touches to both Mikel and Joique Bell, there’s enough to go around for him to stay a solid RB2 in PPR leagues. And of course, Reggie’s exit from Miami along with the Mike Wallace signing should increase the stock of Lamar Miller dramatically. Sounds like I have some game film to watch and a post to write, yes? Yup and yup but we’re not here for that right now so let’s take a look at more moves from day two of the NFL free agent market for 2013 fantasy football…

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As owners of this dynamic duo already know, both Vincent Jackson and Mike Williams have played well above their draft price nearly all year.  Vincent was the 24th WR off the board in yahoo leagues and Mike Williams was nothing more than an afterthought as the WR39.  It has been a perfect storm for fantasy […]

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Playoffs?  We’re talking about playoffs?  That magical time of year has finally arrived  for many of you and for others you are just a week away.  We’re all hoping Santa will bring us fantasy gold this year.  Unfortunately it’s only a fake trophy for a fake sport, but as we know, the bragging rights are all too real.  I’ve found myself in […]

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What’s up weekend warriors?  It’s time for another installment of Target(s) Practice.  It’s hard to believe that we’re already a quarter of the way through the regular season and so far this year the only thing that’s been predictable is that all of your best fantasy players are going to get injured.  At least that’s […]

Please, blog, may I have some more?