World Wide FAAB, Week 9: A.M. Wake Up Call

FAAB can be tricky. There’s a lot more nuance with FAAB waivers than waiver priority based waiver claims. This time of year it’s much more difficult for me to put price recommendations on these players because it really depends on your situation. There are some running backs this week that will be useful for another 1-2 weeks. Then there are some players that might not be useful until another 2-3 weeks. There are better acquisitions than Alfred Morris this week, but I think he is still under the radar, that’s why I highlighted him in the title and picture.

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Who Are These Guys, Week 7: Pick A Lineup, Any Lineup

by: malamoney

In 1983, David Copperfield made the Statue of Liberty disappear. Years later, he walked through the Great Wall of China. Year after year, he dazzled audiences with his mastery of illusion, sleight of hand, and showmanship. I have watched every television special, seen him live nearly 10 times, and have learned several of his secrets over the years. David Copperfield is the reason magic has become what it is today. But sadly, when magic is at the height of its popularity in what seems to be the era of the street magician and cutting edge in your face magic, he has appeared to disappear.

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Waiver Wired, Week 7: We’re Not on Cruz Control

October 14, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Waiver Wire | 58 Comments

by: Andrew Nordmeier

The 2014 NFL season looks more and more like a demolition derby of humanity with each passing week. In Week 6, Victor Cruz of the New York Giants was the biggest name to see his season end. He ruptured the patella tendon in his knee on a fourth-down play and that was it. The night didn’t get any easier for the New York Giants as they lost Jerrel Jernigan for the season, which put them down two wide receivers. Losing 27-0 to the Eagles on Sunday night seemed to be secondary. Things worsened for the Giants in one day but is your fantasy team dealing with injuries? Of course it is. If you haven’t had a player get hurt you’re either extremely lucky or it’s a total fluke. Either way, we’ll help you get through this difficult time of the season.

Let’s look back and see the big fantasy-relevant names who got hurt on Week 6…

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Who Are These Guys?, Week 6: Wyld Stallyns

October 7, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Buy/Sell | 50 Comments

by: malamoney

Four score and 7 quarters ago…

Considered by many to be the best time traveling movie ever made, Back to the Future is a must see film of the 80’s. Set in Hill Valley, California, Marty McFly accidentally travels back in time (to 1955) using a flux capacitor-powered DeLorean in an attempt to escape a band of angry Libyans. While there… well you know the rest. And if you don’t, shame on you!

Another time traveling masterpiece that gets much less attention, and in many ways is much more excellent, follows the wild adventures of Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted “Theodore” Logan as they travel back in time with the help of Rufus and his magical phone booth to solicit the help of historic personalities such as Napoleon Bonaparte, Abraham Lincoln, Ludwig van Beethoven and So-crates, to help them pass their history class assignment. That’s right, you guessed it. I’m talking about Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. This movie was so excellent, it even had a much less excellent sequel entitled Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Believe it or not, I saw this flick in the movie theaters. Shame on me? I was only 14 years old. But even more believe it or not, a third installment to this pseudo legendary saga is currently in the works. So buckle up folks and get ready for another excellent journey!

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Matt Prater Will Have a Couple of Voicemail Messages Waiting for Him Today

October 6, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 75 Comments

by: Jay

In a thrilling day of footballing, there were nine games decided by a touchdown or less, three games decided by a field goal or less, and two overtime victories. It was enough to make some teams (looking directly at you Jim Caldwell and the Lions) wonder why someone like Alex Henery, who single-handedly (or footedly? Is that a word?) lost the game against the Kyle Orton led Bills 17-14, (to what was a 58-yard field goal to Dan Carpenter) still holds a job in the NFL. Missing one field goal is okay. Missing two is unacceptable. Missing three in a game, one of which came with 51 seconds remaining… well… if anything, Henery should be immediately cut just for allowing the above photo to be a thing. Fun fact: If you look up the word “d*ckish” in the dictionary, you’ll find a smug Jim Schwartz smiling right back at you. And while you could easily see getting carried off the field after beating Detroit in the fifth week of the regular season as the most Buffalo thing ever (landing as a tie with eating and drinking too much before sobbing uncontrollably… or is that Cleveland?), apparently asking your team to do this in the preseason, as far back as OTA’s seems, I don’t know, spiteful? Smarmy? Maladjusted? Well, to be fair, with Schwartz, no one would ever see him being that kind of guy… But hey, some good came out of this. Kyle Orton threw for over 300+ yards with a touchdown against the number one ranked defense in the NFL, which is pretty good. And probably the eighth sign that the end of the world is here.

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Imagine: Someone from the NFC South will Make the Playoffs

September 29, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 120 Comments

by: Jay

We’re in this together!

I know, I’m asking a lot of you. After capping off the day of football with the Sunday Night Game, it soon dawned upon me how scary it is that this division will, at some point in time, produce, at the very most, one playoff team. It’s a scary thought, especially since it was manifested watching a Saints secondary that I should buy to use as a spaghetti strainer. Anything that allows the Cowboys to have consecutive competent drives is something this world isn’t ready for. And it wasn’t just this one game either. You had the Falcons collapse against a Vikings team that has lost it’s best player in Adrian Peterson, is starting a rookie quarterback in Teddy Bridgewater, and still believes Christian Ponder deserves a roster spot in the NFL. Ugh. And then you have the ~~Jacksonville Jaguars~~ Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who, we don’t need to spend too much time on. Because Bucs are gonna Buc, amiright? And last, but certainly not least, (because, in a stunning turn of events, they are currently occupying first place in this travesty of a division), the Carolina Panthers. Who, apparently, didn’t take Steve Smith’s death threats seriously and proceeded to get maimed in Baltimore. Which is actually pretty common, now that I think of it. And yes, just to state for the record, their secondary collected a game check this week. That is all.

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Handcuff Report, Week One: The 2014 Primer

September 5, 2014 | 2014 Fantasy Football, Roster Strategy | 31 Comments

by: Geoff

Welcome to the Handcuff Report, 2014 primer. The Almighty J-FOH has bestowed upon me the honor of keeping you knuckleheads up to date on the latest NFL arrests, felonies, and misdemeanors. If Steven Ridley and Shane Vereen are smoking weed in a Pontiac Firebird, we’ll be there. If Titus Young finds his way back into the league, we’ll be there. If Golden Tate decides to steal maple bars from a Detroit bakery, we’ll be there. You get the point…. Wait.?!?! That’s not what this post covers?…. It’s about running back committee’s? …Hmmm I don’t think that’s right. Jay, I think we have a problem…..I had 1,300 words about Ray Rice, Josh Gordon, Le’veon Bell, and LeGarrette Blount. It seemed reasonable, there are a lot of arrests, and they do in fact impact our rosters. But okay… I got it now, you meant handcuff in a less literal sense. Oops! Welp, time to refocus. I guess instead I’ll be discussing the ever evolving Running Back committee situations around the league. For today and at least the first few weeks of the season, I’ll be providing a list of depth charts and commenting on the situations I feel need to be covered. In other words I’ll be spending less time on teams like the Vikings, Bears, or Seahawks and more time on teams like the Lions, Falcons, and Dolphins. As the season progresses, I’ll probably switch to more of a “handcuffs to watch format”, where I’ll cover a handful of backs with expanding roles. But who knows, we’ll see, you guys can tell me in the comments if you like the depth chart rankings. I’m cool with that. After today I will be sticking with the tried and true tiered approach (say that three times fast Micro Machine Man) and the tier names that J-FOH had last year, because what else is there outside of Fuzzy, Standard Issue Police, and Duct taped handcuffs? That pretty much covers the handcuff gamut. No??? Are there other varieties besides the ones covered? Like those weird plastic ones, that cops use, maybe? Did you notice I said “cops use”… do you know why? Because Standard Issue Police That’s Why!!!

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The Handcuff Report – The Payoff Special

December 6, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Handcuff Report | 40 Comments

by: J-FOH

Did you see that? Did you like what I did there? I used Payoff instead of Playoff as a means to be PUNy. *squeezes horn* Yeah, I’m not very funny, the baby’s mama said most people laugh at me instead of with me. Funny I never got that til I met Sky a couple months back. I’m also not very happy right now. I have missed the playoffs almost everywhere, have tried kicking out the stool about a half dozen times and have also drank enough tequila to get the city of Guadalajara drunk. But hey, my therapist says I need to be more optimistic, so I fired him. Why be happy for myself when I can instead be happy for all 12 of you and hopefully help you to playoff gold. My only way to a championship is by living vicariously through my 12 readers. I love you 11 guys and Prezzi. So here’s what were doing here. I’m giving you names to stash, like I did two weeks ago, in the hope they get some play in week 16 or 17 because their teams (real life) are playoff bound and don’t want to injure the starter or are auditioning for next years production of football. To see my last list click here

Here’s how it works:

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Thinking Forward – Jacoby Good

December 4, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Thinking Forward | 128 Comments

by: Sky

Well, he ain’t from down in Louisiana close to New Orleans. Then again, he might be. Didn’t read the bio. This is fantasy, not A Football Life. We don’t care if Jacoby Jones is from near Lake Titicaca, we just care that he has an awesome Sunday for us. Or Monday. Or sometimes Thursday. Anyone think we’ll eventually just have football on 7 days a week? I think they’ve expanded college football to pretty much every day but Tuesday and Wednesday at this point. Not that I’m complaining, of course, just wanted to know I’m not the only one seeing this trend. Speaking of trends, sometimes they’re your friend. Well, not the kind you can borrow money from or go to the bar with but a friend nonetheless. The trend I speak of is the Detroit Lions secondary and how it just loves to give up points to secondary receivers for teams. Let’s ignore Green Bay’s passing debacle and look back at a few secondary receivers who’ve benefited from facing the Lions in the last few weeks. Week 12 saw Tiquan Underwood drop a 3/108/2 line on them. Week 11 saw a healthy line of 3/48/1 from Cotchery. Week 9 saw a 2/64/1 line from Terrance Williams of the Cowboys. Ok, with all this good can we stamp him as a must play for week 15? Nah, of course not. But your team needs force you into strange positions sometimes. Hopefully not the lotus blossom…fantasy football isn’t THAT kind of fantasy. But if you need a nice gamble at flex or WR3 for week 15, Jones could be the Jacoby of all trades for you. Hrm, or free agent pickups I guess. But that doesn’t flow off the wordpress tongue quite as well. But enough about tongues, strange positions and Underwood, let’s move along and see who else is a good pick up for week 15 of 2013 Fantasy Football…

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Graham’atical Error?

November 22, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 184 Comments

by: Sky

So here I am, cruising along with my fantasy year with Jimmy Graham a pick in one of my friends leagues. Then the whole foot issue comes up and my response is ‘O-M-G’ and I’m like ‘I’m a grown-ass man…why am I saying OMG?’ These are all important questions to evaluate as we dip into the psyche of a man who told you to SELL Graham not long ago. To be fair, Tehol and I discussed at length – read: he and I tweeted at each other and I asked ‘Is this bad?’ and he was like ‘bro, it’s bad’ and I was like ‘thanks, brah, you’re right’ and he was all ‘like totes no probs, breh’ and I was all like ‘this is terrible dialogue to post on a website’ and he was all like ‘true, bruh’ – so we felt we had this subject covered. To be fair, Graham has been much more hit/miss than many of his owners would’ve expected given the start. He was the cream of the crop at TE before the injury, how could the injury not affect that? That was a rhetorical question, of course, but thank you for the response. After catching 5 catches for 100 yards, scoring a TD and Shaquille O’Neal’ing a goal post, I think we have our answer. Graham is ‘Godzilla’ to us western folk and ‘Godjira’ to the East. You can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him until his foot falls off. I 100% own that my sell call could’ve been wrong but remember, we still have 4 more weeks until the season is over; if his reduced workload caused you any fantasy playoff heartache, feel free to cry into my abundant bosom. Ok, my bosom isn’t that abundant, leave me go, weeping one. Anywho, I’m sure you’re gonna ask: what do we do with Graham ROS? Well, sell windows have most likely come and gone so that’s no longer an option. Add/drop…who’s dropping Graham and adding fluff? Not me. So your only hope is you start him all week, every week until it pans out right. He hasn’t been terrible since the injury, just frustrating compared to previous numbers. Only so much control can be contributed to this little world we live in for fantasy and sometimes, little jackwads like myself come along and tell you how to do things and find I’m wrong. In other news from TNF from week 12 of the 2013 Fantasy Football season…

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Bucs Were Saving Bobby For A Rainey Day

November 18, 2013 | 2013 Fantasy Football, Fantasy Football Daily Notes | 169 Comments

by: Sky

I swear, players with names like this were made for Razzball. Do you know how many puns I’m gonna squeeze out of this down the stretch with him? Trust me, you don’t even know. But more to the point, we here have been all over this guy this week. This isn’t an ‘I toldja so’ but I do hope you all listened to the Razzball Podcast on Tuesday when I said you should pick up Chris Rainey. Then I hope you read the first comment on the Podcast post where I clarified who I was talking about. Anyone out there picking up the 5th string RB for the Steelers…mea culpa. Hopefully you read my BUY column on the following day and made sure it was Bobby Rainey. Sure, I didn’t tell you to start him but Tampa Bay said Leonard was starting. And clearly Tampa Bay never lies…wait, what? Neverthewho! Finally, as if we didn’t treat you like a baby seal enough, we clubbed you over the head on Friday with J-FOH making Rainey the lead in The Handcuff Report. All this to say, unless you were in a coma for the last week, we got you in early on this gem. And if you’re reading us first after coming out of a coma, thank you! Now you should really put life in perspective if we’re the first thing you think of upon waking from something like that. But now that we’re done slapping each other on the ass for the good call over here, let’s get to the numbers: Rainey carried the load in Tampa with 30 carries for 163 yards and 2 TDs on the ground while chipping in 2 for 4 through the air and another score. Yes, that’s three TDs from a guy who’s 23% owned as of mid-day Sunday which probably means he was owned under 10% prior to games starting. Seriously guys, put it at automatic waivers when Sundays start. Cheaters! But more about Bobby: that boy ain’t right…to opposing defenses. There was a lot of concern about his size holding him back from being a lead RB but all I have to say to that is Warrick Dunn. Bobby (5-8, 212) and Warrick (5-9, 180) have a little in common in that area. Everyone wants to pick on the little guy back there but little doesn’t mean these guys can’t carry the load when presented. Looking forward, Rainey had a nice matchup against a Falcons team that has given up plenty on the ground to fantasy backs on the year so I’m not going to anoint him straight away. I’d like to see a little adversity before I do that but I do think if you nabbed him, you’ve got a mid-tier RB2 right now with explosive upside and the potential to make up for all the RB heartache you’ve no doubt suffered to date. Here’s to Rainey making you into the Reigning champion this year. See? We got this for days, people. In other news from Sunday of week 11 for 2013 Fantasy Football…

Please, blog, may I have some more?