Has any one set your gaze upon the mystifyingly glorious Great Pyramid of Giza? Perhaps you’ve often thought about, as I have, about dedicating your lives to attempt to discover the whereabouts of the remnants of the Ancient Gardens of Babylon? Indeed, we’ve all fantasized about having a magnificent statue erected of ourselves, such as the statue of Zeus at Olympia, where we shall ever be remembered for our celebrated conquests and remarkable achievements. Truly you, like me, Tehol Beddict, have ever fantasized about bending over some fair maiden in the Lighthouse of Alexandria, all the while marveling at the thunderous waves crash far below. If what I say is true, and you know it is, then you’ve more than likely often dreamt about the power and the glory that is none other than Julio Jones.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Greeting and salutations! Tis I, Beddict, back from a Thanksgiving vacation full of oiled up women and turkey basters galore. I come to you rejuvenated and ready to finish the season strong. I missed my 2nd lock of the week two weeks ago with Minnesota back-dooring me at home against Green Bay, and I’m just now getting over the burning sensation in my soul that makes the savage sting from a Portuguese man o’ war seem like a nip from a 15-year-old, toothless Beagle.

I sort of made up for it with a 5-0 week during my vacation. Did that pay for my mortgage for a year or just erase my debt to the Russian Mob? I’ll never tell. The quest for the perfect week continues… I suppose I was perfect last week but that wasn’t my usual full slate of games. I’m not one to look for the easy way out… unless of course I’m locked in Sky’s basement again. In that case, I’ll always take the easy way out, for that was one of the most trying and terrifying moments of my life. Let’s get on with it before I have to blow another six figures on my therapist.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Overall: 71-58-1, Locks: 7-1

Greetings! Beddict here, weak and heavily medicated. For you see, I banged my chin on a flawless white marble kitchen countertop in a home owned by Celine Dion while shooting a soft core porn for Cinemax that should be out sometime in 2016. That’s right ya’ll, Beddict’s got 15 stitches in his chinny-chin-chin, and you’ll witness it on Razzball Radio and The Fantasy Sports Network next Tuesday. I was thinking about taking advantage of the situation and getting a chin implant. such as this one here, but after speaking with the Elders, it was decided that now is not the time.

Please, blog, may I have some more?