Welcome everybody to this week’s edition of “Dap Impacts”, our recurring series here at Razzball analyzing the most important fist bumps in history. This week, we’ll highlight Barack Obama, a man who has dapped more world leaders than all other human beings combined. And who could forget the time he dapped his own wife when accepting the Democratic party’s nomination for President, in a heartwarming moment that Fox News lovingly described as a “terrorist fist jab”… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this is actually another installment of Deep Impact, and also that Fox News did not mean that as a compliment. For those of you who haven’t been reading (looking at you, Sam Hinkie), this is for fantasy football players who like to go rummaging through the Dumpsters looking for hidden treasures. Not literally, Steve, get out of the trash and for the love of all that is holy please take that out of your mouth. For everyone who has been reading this series from the beginning, wow that’s a great haircut, very sharp. And is that new cologne I smell? Well, someone is really out to impress. Here are some plays this week to reward you for being so dapper…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Fantasy Football can be amazing really. One week you’re riding high and the next, you’re losing to somebody who didn’t set a lineup in previous weeks. That’s where Justin Mason found himself in Week 3… “SAD” to quote presidential hopeful Donald Trump. I mean look at this kid; the only thing he dominates is a box of mini donuts, and HE knocked off the league leader after two weeks by the second-largest point differential – after yours truly doubled the score of Andy Singleton. Justin’s fellow Dream Leaguers didn’t hesitate to point out just about a week ago he was lauding how weak the league was, the lack of competition, and his overall dominance. Now he’s back in the pack, trying to rebuild his once proud reputation.

Meanwhile, Sauce celebrates the good times after moving to 3-0 with a strong win over the DFS king himself, Motown Mauler. Stacie had her way with Lord Beddict (something under circumstances different than fantasy football I’m sure he’d be more than alright with) which set up an epic exchange with Ralph Lifshitz for this upcoming week. Pull no punches, Ralph did (a little Yoda impression for you there) in this week’s episode. So much more of what the Polo Rican had to say was left out of the video because the FCC has about 50 rules against his content.

So sit back, getcha popcorn ready, and enjoy the latest installment of the Dream League… The Dwazy Awakens.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hello everybody and welcome to “Drape Impost”, Razzball’s weekly in-depth look at international tax policy for home décor. Let’s take a look at Norway, who charge an exorbitant 18% on imported tapestries… *answers call from Jay* I’ve been informed that this will actually be another Deep Impact article, and also that “Drape Impost” will be a podcast series on NPR this fall. Slight change to go over for those of you who have been reading regularly: I will no longer be limiting the “Start” section for running backs to less than 10% ownership in the interest of covering players who are actually worth starting. For running back starts, we’ll increase the population to look at low-owned guys who are more likely to already be on deep rosters but are unlikely to be every week plays. I’m figuring it out as I go, folks, and I will still cover backs under 10% ownership in the “Stash Target” section for all you players who are scouring the wire for adds. For those of you who haven’t been reading, you should try reading some time. It doesn’t even have to be about football, expand your horizons friends. Well, expand them after checking out these names, of course.

Please, blog, may I have some more?