If you’re reading this, congrats! You’re still playing meaningful games! Either you’re winning that consolation bracket to have your league’s #1 pick next year (who will it be? Todd Gurley? Saquon Barkley? New York Jet Le’Veon Bell?!) Or, since you’re a Razzball reader, you’re on the march towards ANOTHER championship title over your chump friends. Take a long look at your bench — are there any guys on there who have 0 starts for you, but you’re just remembering years past when they were productive? Stop trying to make fetch happen — cut ties and grab one of these guys below who are more likely than the name value players you’ve been holding on to and hoping they’ll perform.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

What’s going on everyone, and welcome to another fantastic fall Saturday as we draw closer to another Sunday full of NFL football! Week 4 got off to a great start on Thursday night thanks to the high-powered offenses of the Rams and Vikings, and we should be in for some more exciting football tomorrow.

Let’s get to it!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of Webb, it was the age of Sanchez, it was the epoch of Beckham, it was the epoch of Rex…

I can’t remember a more interesting year of QB play in New York. Eli Manning, on the brink of passing his brother on the all-time consecutive regular season game start list and Josh McCown, two years older than Eli at 38 and now on his 8th team since being drafted by the Arizona Cardinals in 2002 — the odds makers would’ve never predicted which one of these two would potentially be threatening for a playoff spot — and the other could be losing his job to a younger QB by mid-season.

But both McCown and Manning have intriguing fantasy match-ups this week and are my ‘start’ options.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Is Tom Brady the best football player of all time? I need your help to solve an argument.

Anyway, the top two (healthy) scoring fantasy QBs, Alex Smith and Carson Wentz, are out this week. #1 scoring fantasy RB Kareem Hunt is on a bye. Three top 10 WRs are out: two due to a bye (Tyreek Hill and Michael Crabtree) and one possibly due to his own stupidity (Mike Evans.) And the two top TEs, Travis Kelce and Zach Ertz, will be out as well.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’ve spent a total of 45-60 minutes trying to come up with a good introduction for this article, trying to talk about everything from Jewish activities on Christmas, to learning about past mistakes in DFS and applying that to the next week, and nothing has stuck. So I’ll mention one thing before I begin the actual article. Apparently Derek Carr is playing against Amari Cooper in a Season-Long Championship Game, and Cooper finished with 2 receptions for 10 yards, with the longest reception being 7 yards.

I’ve about had it with Fantasy Football.

New to Daily Fantasy Football? Try out this new free FanDuel’s contest, where half the league is guaranteed to win. (Played on FanDuel before? You can build a team for $5 for a chance of $100,000, part of a one million dollar prize pool!)

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you’re still reading at this point, you either really love fantasy football, or you’re within a game or two (stop playing into Week 17!) of winning your fantasy championship. Ideally, your lineup is set at the typical streamer positions at this point. Well, unless you somehow managed to advance after Andy Dalton’s early injury last week. More than likely you didn’t, but perhaps you did.

I know I did.

Yes, despite Dalton’s one-point performance, I was able to survive my first-round playoff matchup to move on to the semifinals. It’s also a league where every team thinks it’s necessary to hold two or three quarterbacks, so the pickings were slim. More than any other time this year, I’m desperate for some streamers.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I have a very interesting story to tell you, the readers. Picture this: Myself, good ol’ Zach, sitting on his couch, cursing Drew Brees. “Why is he cursing Drew Brees?”, asks you. Good question. Yes, I played Drew Brees, and yes, I loved that decision. However, out of the 8 tournaments I played last Sunday, Brees was only in 1 of those lineups. I was really high on Jay Cutler and Joe Flacco, and they did alright (19.54 and 22.60 pts), but they did not have Drew Brees-type games last week. So there I was, Monday morning, convincing myself that I should no longer write for Razzball anymore, and I should just spend the rest of my days rewinding old DVD’s. I had spent nearly $55 on entry fees for tournaments, and I was struggling, only winning $12. But then something happened. Graham Gano happened. 3/3 on FG’s and 2/3 on XP’s. On Tuesday morning, I opened up the FanDuel app, and I yelled, “YES!”, as I realized I still had the willingness to fight. $75 had been won. Thank you Graham Gano (And Jonathan Stewart).

Join myself, Jay, and your fellow readers in a special Razzball-only Contest! Buy-in is just $5.00 and the top-12 finishers in a 55-team league are all part of the prize pool! Sign up here!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week The Dillon Panthers, my team in the Razzball Writers League, scored 168.64 points, making quick work of Jay’s team and elevating me to an astounding 6-0 record. Out of all the RCL’s, there are currently only thirteen undefeated teams remaining. Yours truly is fired up to be a member of that list and will look to keep rolling this week. But before we step ahead into the future, let’s jump in our DeLorean DMC-12 and go back in time to last weekend and see what lineup would have been strong enough to have knocked me out of the ranks of the unbeaten.

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When asked for a list of players that would have outscored 168.64 points, Biff Tannen opened his Gray’s Sports Almanac and muttered, “How about these buttheads” as he rattled off the following list of players. “Together they combined for 173.81 points. Now why don’t you make like a tree and get out of here.”

Please, blog, may I have some more?