So you’ve made it to the penultimate checkpoint before glory. Set up camp, rest your joints and have a good night’s sleep. Things only get more difficult from here. The rations are all used up, we’re all running on pocket lint and snow, and no one feels bad for your FLEX options. It’s the playoffs, kill or be killed, there is no tomorrow, survive and advance and all that.

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A quick google search tells me there’s only three predators capable of killing a Jaguar. The first is the anaconda—that big ass snake from the Jon Voight movie. The second is the caiman—these little gator looking guys in Mexico and South America. And the third, of course, is Derrick Henry—which makes sense because he looks a lot like a Predator. In week 13 last year, Henry took 17 carries for 238 yards and 4 touchdowns. I remember that game well because I was required to attend a 2.5 hour holiday lights trolley tour on that Thursday night which, to my surprise, turned out to be much more pleasant than watching Derrick Henry destroy my fantasy hopes and dreams before the week even started. Fast forward around 12 months, if you were playing against The Predator this week then I hope you also had a long Sunday afternoon holiday light trolley tour to attend. Henry rumbled for 159 yards on 19 carries plus another 16 yards on 1 reception and 2 touchdowns—he has 10 touchdowns on the season and is now under protest by PETA for his crimes against Jaguars.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

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As a much younger donkey I tried out for the highschool basketball team. I was galloping all over the court at tryouts, nobody could defend me. Really thought I had a spot locked up on the team but when the dreaded cut day came around, they gave me the axe. I guess donkey kicking defenders is “frowned upon.” Pssssh. 

Fast forward to present day. RazzBowl cuts are only days away and I’m having flashbacks to basketball tryouts. Half our impressive field of 180 industry competitors, with a handful of fans mixed in, will be eliminated come Monday evening. The night terrors are unbearable!

One person who doesn’t have to worry about the first RazzBowl cut is Pat Fitzmaurice of The Football Girl. Fitzmaurice has now held the lead for three consecutive weeks and has been top 3 in the overall standings for the entire season except for one week when he fell down to 6th place. Pat’s performance to this point has been so dominant that the RazzBowl Committee is considering rebranding the contest as the FitzBowl next year. But the RazzBowl Committee is very corrupt so the CloroxBleachBowl is the front runner.

What makes the RazzBowl especially unique compared to other best ball formats and industry leagues is our addition of a $10 FAAB budget for the entire way season with a minimum of $1 bids. This allows teams to cycle out dead roster spots (e.g. Andrew Luck, Lamar Miller, etc) but it also means each team will only be allowed a maximum of ten moves for the entire season. Every dollar of each competitor’s free agent budget is just as precious as a Bill Belichick smile.

When teams choose to pony up their FAAB, it’s worthwhile to take a look and see why. There could be a goldmine of speculative adds buried in the RazzBowl transactions this season.

Here were the top FAAB buys in the final week of RazzBowl FAAB bidding:

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B_Don and Donkey are back again talking fantasy football pick ups for week 9. Kenyan Drake’s prayers were answered yesterday as he was shipped out of Miami, making a new home in Arizona. The guys talk about the fallout from this move with Mark Walton being the top add and Kalen Ballage now being worth a speculative add in deeper leagues, even though he’s still terrible.

Other waiver options discussed who are owned in less than 50% of leagues include Darrell Henderson, Auden Tate, Tra Carson, J.D. McKissic, Chris Conley and Darren Fells. Then your hosts throw a bunch of other interesting names out in the deep league segment including Darrius Slayton, Gus Edwards, Hunter Refrow and many others. Tune in and dominate your waiver wire with the Donkey and the Don.
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As the sun sets on another blistering day on the slope, you reflect on this journey. The hot tea emits a fragrance that escapes the metal mug and warms your cracked, weathered face. There have been terrifying challenges, victorious accomplishments and many days where the best you can do is just grind.

But here you are, with week 9 approaching and you’re still breathing. Even if your team is battered and bruised at 0-8 or 1-7, use this week to stash a trade chip or keeper for next year. All leagues should have some incentive for the unfortunate teams to not give up, even if its just a keeper feature. If you sit at 2-6 or better, there is still time. Take it one week at a time and just keep moving.

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So can the Chiefs cut child arm-breaker Tyreek Hill now? The irony of seeing Tyreek in a sling on the sidelines should not have been lost on any of us. Though I’m not as all in on DeMarcus Robinson as I was last week on Marquise Brown and Terry McLaughlin. Kelce is still the #1 receiver in KC, and with Mecole Hardman and Sammy Watkins also splitting targets I feel like this is a situation where week to week some WR is going to get big numbers, but it’s near impossible to decide who, and that only gets murkier when Tyreek returns (and if you have an impatient Hill owner in your league who needs help now, see if you can pry Hill from them). Feels like the Rams; must be nice for those two teams, must be nice.

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The sun rises over the majestic mountain range, illuminating the frost into countless diamonds. The air is crisp and clean and there is motion all around your tent. The energy is palpable and you take a deep breath, stepping into the cold morning. The warm scent of freshly brewed coffee drifts into your nostrils as I jam a loaded backpack in your gut and tell you you’re the last one up. “Breakfast is over, make sure you wear double socks” I say, strapping a ladder to a sleeping bag.

Don’t worry, this is how week 1 feels for most of us. All the anticipation, planning, and training doesn’t mean a thing once you head out on the trail. Week 1 was full of rookie WRs making a statement despite limited preseason buzz. Conversely, exciting rookie running backs flopped and split time, leaving managers rattled as we look forward to week 2. There was expected carnage, although congrats to the half of you that walked away 1-0.

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Hey y’all.  Please note that where fantasy position ranks are cited: they were pulled from www.pro-football-reference.com’s NFL Fantasy Rankings. Also note that these are non-PPR rankings.  This list only includes Un-Restricted Free Agents (UFAs), it does not include Exclusive Rights Free Agents (ERFAs) or Antonio Brown (We can rank Tony once we see if his QB is going to be future HOFer Big Ben or future Gym Teacher Blake Bortles or someone in between, but don’t think either spot or any in between really changes his value much).

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Another week, and unfortunately another huge injury. On Sunday, Arian Foster tore his Achilles’ tendon and is out for the season after coming back only a few weeks prior from preseason groin surgery. A tough blow for owners who had seemed to have gotten a steal when drafting him back in August and September. The situation in Houston tough and to try and replace their star running back is not going to be a pretty one. Alfred Blue is expected to receive the first shot at replacing Arian Foster, but it’ll be hard to trust someone that outside of a 31 carry/139 yard/1 touchdown in Week 3 versus Tampa Bay (it’s Tampa Bay for Godsake), has gone for 95 yards rushing on 29 rushing attempts (3.28 yards per carry). He should still be picked up in most leagues but stashed on benches as he can’t be trusted as more than a low end RB3/FLEX option for the time being. Neither Chris Polk nor Jonathan Grimes are worth rostering for the time being, however.

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